Dara was the one who insisted that she do the reading and the Q&A tonight.

In the two months that Jisoo had spent working with Dara and rooming with her in her apartment, she had learned how to deal with her. She had learned when to ignore her y outburst, when not to take her off-the-cuff remarks personally, and also when she needed to be checked. Because their professional relationship was on a more even ground, Jisoo didn’t feel like she was being squashed under the older girl’s thumb anymore.

For the most part, Jisoo let Dara run her business the way she wanted to, but Jisoo had learned early on that if she wanted Dara to listen to her, she had be a bit more forceful. Sometimes, she even got her way.

The book reading and Q&A wasn’t one of those things, however.

It was eight in the morning and Jisoo had just gotten to the shop to open up. Doyoung arrived not long after, and she instructed him to make sure their rental order for chairs for tonight was still confirmed. He went into the office to make the call and Jisoo busied herself by moving the cash back into the register and then dusting around in preparation for tonight. 

It was surreal to think about. Just a few months ago, she thought for sure that her fate was sealed. She’d never be taken seriously as a writer ever again. Now, here she was preparing to read an excerpt of her debut novel to a small crowd of fans and answer their questions. This was stuff only real writers were expected to do, and now she was doing it.

I really have arrived, she thought. 

She heard the door open and a customer stepped in. Jisoo leaned over the counter to see who could possibly be coming in this early in the morning?

“Hello?” she called out. Then from around the corner appeared none other than Jennie Kim. 

“Excuse me,” Jennie said, waving a copy of her book in the air. “Can I talk to the author of this book?”

Jisoo laughed and Jennie walked over to the counter. Then she looked around the room and looked impressed by the shop. 

“Oh my god, it’s so cute,” Jennie said. “There’s even real books and everything!”

“It’s the real deal,” Jisoo said, patting the cash register. “You are looking at one of the partners to To Anyone Independent Publishers. Dara’s the creative director and editor-in-chief, I handle the business end and also her first client. I’ll be happy to sign your book for you if you want.”

“Oh my god, you’re going to be famous,” Jennie said, pushing the book at Jisoo for her to sign. “You own a bookshop and you’re a real author? Kim Jisoo, I want to be you when I grow up.”

“Just keep reaching for the stars,” Jisoo said, finally finding a pen that worked and scribbling her signature on the title flap of the book. 

“So, the word around town is that you’re doing an event tonight for your new book,” Jennie said. “You excited?”

Jisoo groaned. “I mean, yes and no,” she said. “It’s cool and all, but I’m nervous. This place is gonna be full of fans and critics and stuffy, literary types. What if I get confronted by someone who hated my book?”

“They can catch these fists if they insult your book,” Jennie said, making a fist and punching the air. Jisoo laughed. 

“Hey,” Jennie said, punching Jisoo’s shoulder lightly. “You should be proud of yourself, kid. Look at you, you’re living the dream! You should be over the moon!”

“I am,” Jisoo said, though not in the most convincing of tones. Jennie scoffed.

“Oh yeah, I can totally feel the excitement,” she said. It was a joke, but the way Jisoo’s smile faded afterward made Jennie afraid that she might have accidentally hit a sore spot. Though she wasn’t sure what she said to trigger it. 

“You are happy, aren’t you?” Jennie asked. “You got everything you—“

“I know I did,” Jisoo snapped, and then she was immediately sorry. Of course, Jennie didn’t mean to hit a sore spot. Jisoo guessed she must have been even more nervous than she thought. She felt restless, like her skin was the only thing keeping her from going everywhere all at once. Jennie sensed it right away.

“Is something wrong?” Jennie said. 

Jisoo sighed, supposing there was no point in hiding it from her best friend.

“No, nothing, she said. She grabbed a cart of books and pushed it into an aisle to shelve. Jennie followed. “It’s just that,” Jisoo began. “Guess who’s back.”

“Who?” Jennie asked.

Jisoo sighed as she silently slid a book into place. Jisoo was suddenly sorry that she had brought the subject up. When he left the shop that night, Jisoo was prepared to move on from him, just as she had in every other aspect of her life. She was doing so well. The shop was thriving. She and Dara were getting along. Her life was finally starting to look the way she wanted. And he walked right back in and reminded her that she had ruined the one good thing she had going for her. And now he was probably dating someone else and it was too late to get that back. 

When Jisoo didn’t answer, Jennie stared hard at her face. They hadn’t known each other very long. They had only met in freshman year of college, but already, Jennie was an expert at hearing what Jisoo wasn’t saying.

“Jinyoung?” Jennie said softly. “Still?”

Jisoo was taken slightly aback by the last bit. “What do you mean? Not still,” she said, slamming a book onto the shelf. “He came into the shop a few days ago, I had a momentary relapse. That’s all.”

“Jisoo,” Jennie said, crossing her arms and leaning against a shelf. 

“I’m fine, Jennie,” Jisoo said. “I really am.”

She pushed the cart into another aisle and began restocking books.

“You said so yourself, I should be over the moon,” Jisoo said. “Why shouldn’t I be? I got everything I wanted. I’m a partner at an independent publishing house, I’m renting a room in the city, I’m a part-time editor collaborating with new authors, I have a book, and I’m doing Q&A’s as a published author, I might even have another book out soon. I’m living the dream.”

“Girl, you aren’t fooling anyone,” Jennie said, crossing her arms. “You still like him, don’t you?”

The only reply Jisoo gave was a thick silence as she continued stocking books. Jennie looked at her friend with a sad expression. She didn’t understand; if she loved this boy, why didn’t she just go get him the way she went after her other dreams?

“What’s stopping you?” Jennie asked.

Jisoo stopped stocking books for a minute. She looked over at Jennie and crossed her arms.

“I messed up really bad back then, Jennie,” Jisoo said. “And it wasn’t the first time I did. I don’t want to disappoint him anymore. Also…”

Jisoo rubbed her arm soothingly.

“I can’t stop thinking about that last thing he said to me,” Jisoo said. “That maybe I should be alone. He could be right. Maybe, right now, at this point in my life, I should be alone. Maybe I’m too selfish to be with him or anyone.”

“Hey,” Jennie said taking a step toward her. “You gave up Embrace to help Dara, and you didn’t even like her back then. That wasn’t a selfish move.”

“Still,” Jisoo said. “If I had called him and asked him to take me back after that, what would that say about my intentions?”

People are supposed to do the right thing simply because it’s the right thing to do. Not because they’re anticipating some kind of reward or as an investment in good karma. Jisoo wanted to believe that she helped Dara because it was the right thing to do, not just because she wanted Jinyoung back.

Jennie understood, of course, but it still made her sad. Her friend was finally getting what she had always dreamed about, and it was hard seeing her not realize that maybe she wanted something else all along. 

“Okay,” Jennie said, her tone unsure. “It’s just… well…I just think that… when you were doing that dumb fake boyfriend thing with Jinyoung… you had this look on your face that I’d never seen on you before. Nor since.”

Jisoo raised a brow at her. “What do you mean? How did I look?”

“Happy,” Jennie said. “I don’t think it’s selfish to want to be happy. That was your real dream, wasn’t it?”

Jinyoung was late for a study group.

His shift at work had ended later than usual and he didn’t want to show up in the same outfit he’d worn and sweat through all day, so he made a detour back to his apartment to shower and change. He was scrambling around the studio grabbing everything he might need and rubbing a towel over his head. 

Pens. Paper. Books. He checked the time and then shoved everything into a bag. He had just thrown open the door and was getting ready to rush out when he found his path blocked by a familiar face.

“Jackson?” Jinyoung said, surprised to see his friend there. “What’s up?”

Jinyoung closed and locked his door. When he turned back to Jackson, he saw Jennie Kim by Jackson’s side. He looked between his Jackson and his girlfriend and felt nervous all of a sudden.

“What’s going on?” Jinyoung asked. Jackson took a breath to speak, but then he ended up turning to his girlfriend.

“Jennie’s got something to say to you,” he said. Jinyoung gave her his attention.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Jennie said. Jinyoung was stunned.

“To a study group?” he said, though he had a feeling that Jackson’s girlfriend was going to drag him somewhere else.

“No, I don’t think so,” Jennie said. Confirmed, thought Jinyoung. This study group is cancelled.

“Mind telling me what’s going on here?”

“You still like Jisoo, right?” Jennie said. Jinyoung stammered as he attempted to reply.

“I… uh… I…”

“Jackson!” Jennie said, calling on her boyfriend for back-up. Jackson cleared his throat.

“Bro, do you still like her or not?” Jackson asked. “Don’t try to lie, you know you’re at it.”

Jinyoung felt cornered.

“Yes, I do,” he answered truthfully, but then Jennie gave him an annoyed look.

“So, then go after her!” Jennie said.

“I want to,” Jinyoung said. “But I don’t know what she wants. As far as I can see, she already has everything she’s ever wanted and she did all of that without my help. What if there’s no place for me in her life? It’s been six months, what if she’s moved on? What if she’s already perfectly happy and me barging back in would only ruin everything she’s accomplished?”

“It’s still you,” Jennie said. “I saw her today, I talked to her. Trust me, for Jisoo, it’s still you.”

Jinyoung stared at her, his throat feeling dry all of a sudden. Jennie sighed.

“She wanted to be with you more than she wanted to be a writer, Jinyoung,” Jennie said. “You are her dream! She looks happy but she isn’t really. And I’m so sick of you two dancing around your feelings! Stop misunderstanding each other all the damn time and just be up front!”

Jinyoung looked at Jackson and then back at Jennie glowering at him. He swallowed.

“What should I do?” he asked.

“Tell her,” Jennie said firmly. “Tonight.”

Jennie and Jackson were walking ahead of him as they made their way over