Weeks had passed since I moved out.

And with time, I was growing numb to my painful memories. I took more shifts at the cafe, avoided places where Kai might hang out, changed my number and got my dark roots lightened with Krystal's help. 

But some things also got harder. People commented on my apparent weight loss, my face wasn't glowing, instead I had dark areas under my eyes but I could never really sleep. Sometimes I would dream of him in my arms, my fingers tracing his back and our breathing matching. Those were sadly the nights I would get most sleep.

"Sehun, what do you want to eat?"

Baekhyun fingers scrolled slowly through the options of restaurants on his phone, urging me to pick despite my lack of appetite or taste. I kept repeating 'whatever' while we walked along campus, trying not to flinch whenever I saw someone similar to his appearance. 

I wonder how he was. 

Probably letting out a sigh of relief when he realised he didn't have me to worry about anymore. Maybe he took off the tape. Did he get a new roommate? He doesn't need to, his family is wealthy enough for him to rent the whole room to himself. But he did forget to eat in the mornings, especially when I was away. I wonder if he's out of cereal-

"Sehun!" Baekhyun hand shook my shoulders, a slight furrow between his brows, "Don't zone out while you're walking, that's dangerous."

I felt a bit of guilt as I watched my bestfriend shake his head, holding back words that I know he meant well with. 

"Baek, let's just go by the one near the dorm. I feel like grilled meat."

The place was slightly crowded with young people who lived close by, the atmosphere already drunk without us even taking a sip. We opted for a table closer to the exit, in case things got out of hand and we wanted to leave early. 

"How's Taeyeon?"
"She's into someone else," He shrugged. 
"Wait, what. I thought she liked-"
"Was just trying to grab his attention apparently."

The usual Baekhyun would have cried then thrown the table upside down, yelling for more beers and more rounds of food. But here he was, almost bored that the girl worked so hard far had pretty much toyed with him to get a different prize. 

I raised my glass higher, urging him to clink his with mine and as I took a long sip that turned into finishing my glass, I felt a buzz that I hadn't felt in a while. 

"I saw it coming and yet, I still tried to force a different outcome. She brought him up enough times for me to catch on that I wasn't the one on her mind."

I nodded along, listening to him speak and slowly watched him go from being quietly sober to his usual loud self, yelling at the world for its lack of real love. A part of me was jealous of the way he just let those words roll out, letting everyone know that he had been wronged and put aside. I wanted to join him, to get up on the table and scream at everyone there, to tell them that a few weeks didn't seem to be enough for me to 'move on'. To tell everyone there that I was hurting. 

But instead, I just poured him another glass and nodded along.

It's been a long while and I hope you haven't forgotten about me just yet. 
Not sure if it's just Sehun or a mix of me and his character finding weird closure. 
My boyfriend of three years (and more) and I broke up. Yeah. 

BUT I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS LITTLE FILLER. I don't want to keep diving into es but also want to highlight the small struggles that sehun/baekhyun/kai/etc faces that contribute to their personality and decision. Let me know and give me ideas x