I Smile

You were the first girl in my life but I would never admit it.

It wouldn’t be an understatement to say that we’ve known each other since the day we were born. Our mothers were best friends in college and they didn't drift apart, not even when they moved houses and got their first jobs. They attended each other’s weddings and spent every Sunday together because it was “girls’ day”. The news that we would be born almost the same day didn’t take them by surprise, let alone the fact that we were born exactly the same day at the same hospital.

You were my first friend but I would never admit it.

After we were born, our mothers were pretty occupied with their parental duties, so they didn’t stay in contact as much as they used to.

I grew up as an aggressive kid who would take the toddlers’ toys without permission and hit them with the good old plastic hammer just to see them suffer. Small wonder why everyone hated me in kindergarten. I had no friends and this tiny little fact made me more selfish and aggressive. Not even the neighbourhood kids wanted to play with me because my parents were fairly wealthy and they didn’t want me to play with the less fortunate.

I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth and I acted according to my role until I met you in elementary school. You were my one and only true friend and I had no idea what you saw in me – really, no matter how many times I protested, deep down I know that I was an annoying and dumb kid −, you still kept me company and played with me.

You were my first tutor but I would never admit it.

I had slight ADHD when I was younger and you were the only one who assisted me with school projects and homework. Even the teachers gave up on me stating that I was a hopeless case and to make matters worse, I was arrogant and disrespectful. You didn’t care and although I hurt you lots of times and called you stupid for spending your time with me rather than playing with our classmates, you didn’t budge.

Mum said it must have been fate because they were just as close friends with your mother as we were. You didn’t only help with reading but also with writing and basic calculations. Whenever I needed something, you spent the whole afternoon with me, teaching me in your cute, high-pitched voice and your absolutely ridiculous drawings. Nevertheless, they were all effective and I soon became one of the smartest kids in class.

You were my first crush but I would never admit it.

I remember playing in the corridor around 4th grade, pulling your hair and laughing when you pouted oh so sadly and thinking how lucky I was to have a friend like you. I adored watching your cheeks burning up at my bold statements and your ears turning red whenever you were asked to read your homework out loud. I remember your little floral dresses that I mocked you about because I claimed that they all looked the same, even though my favourite was the one with little pink cherry blossoms. I remember laughing at your braces the first time I saw them and you thought that I was trying to make fun of you, yet I was only thinking how cute you looked in them.

Little did I know that these thoughts turned into something more serious a few years later.

You were my first best frie