Is that star looking at me by any chance?

Won’t it be looking at me?

Isn’t it looking at me right now?

At me?

_star (heize)

You come back home a bit latter, with a box of chicken, my favorite cake and a bunch of cola cans in your hand. Are you celebrating something?. You let out a laughter and saying some greasy stuff to me, to celebrate my beauty today. Why you’re so weird. My cute hamster.

I got home a bit latter than usual, with a box off chicken, her favorite cake and a couple can of cola in my hand, I know she can’t handle any alcohol. She welcome me with her brightest smile asking if we celebrating something. I let out a laughter, hugging softly her slender waist and whispering, it’s to celebrating your beauty today. She blushed and pushing me back lightly. So cute, my pretty Yeba.

**

That was 3 month ago, ever since that we started arguing even for small things. Round and round, the conversation always ends where it began. It tires me, I don’t know where did it all start goes wrong.  I used to feel so comfortable around you, I just like everything about you, I like listening to your husky voice, even when your jokes aren’t that funny. When I think of you, my heart won’t listen to me.

Then why now..?  What’s going on?

It’s been 3 month since we start arguing every small details. Whenever we start talking, it goes round and round, but why all the conversation always ends where it began?. When you’re next to me, I get nervous for no reason, your smile blinding me, your voice sounds so angelic and melodic, I just like everything about you. I could give the world if you want to but..

Then why now..? Do you know what’s going on?

**

Will it stop now? These raindrops, these tears? When this rain falls in my head..I don’t want to get wet with rain, tremble with cold. I can’t stay in the rain alone without you. I hope I could see what ahead of us than looking back then realize it all seemed to make alot more sense. I have you but it’s hurt.

Why does it’s hard to love you?

Just let the raindrops fall, let it all for once. Then we would get wet and tremble helplessly in cold. Let me just cry for a moment as I lean in the rain. So you won’t see our sad tears. Someday, the cold rain would become warm tears. Just let it fall, it’s alright it’s just passing downpour. Now Goodbye, my sun.

Love is never been easy.

**

It’s been several weeks since that day. I’m glad there’s no argue that bring me headache. But there’s also no you in my side, your warmth, your scent, your voice, your comfortable hug. The night seems meaningless to me, I know you’re always there even if I can’t see you because you’re covered by clouds. I pray that those clouds will be rain and fall down, yet I hate rain because it remind me of...you.

Today the night sky looks cloudy. When I think about it, why did I act that way? What’s so wrong about being clumsy with emotions? We slowly turned against each other, breaking each other down. When I turned around, you weren’t there. Then I remember all the days, I remember...our last.

**

No more phone call or message from you, yet I still looking at your social media updates. Secretly watching over you, are you alright? Are you alright..without me? Hey, Do you know..I’m starting wishing upon a star lately. I wish that you’ll fall into my arms, my shooting star. Can’t you hear my song because it’s too far away? My star, I’ll never miss you again..this time is just a process. All I can do at this moment is to believe that you’re looking at me. I hate you moonstar.

I stopped my daily call and message routine for last several weeks now. I thought I’m getting used to it. I thought my days without you would be fine but whenever I walk infront of our favorite cafe, I see myself looking for someone like you. Today’s weather forecast said it would be a sunny day. Your favorite kind of weather, I know it so well.. you said it would be a perfect day for laundry, funny. Hey miss Yong Sun, do also you shining so bright today? Even without me..?

I..I don’t think I got over you.

**

Today Wheein invite me to her apartment to have a sleep over, celebrating her home coming after 3 years living at L.A with Hyejin. They make it together, breaking the US music industry with the great power of the 2younggirl vocal. I can’t believe it they’re make it to Billboard Chart with that lame 2younggirl name. I chuc