Chapter Five

The door made a chiming sound as she pushed it open, carefully making sure that she wasn’t pushing it roughly as she stepped her feet inside the house. The chiming sound came again when the door was closed, and she made a small mental therapy session as she felt the irritating sound stirring her thoughts messy. The last thing she needed now was disturbance. Though, she didn’t really want to blame the sound of the door fully – she thought that the person who should be blamed was herself, but she didn’t really want to admit that for the fear of herself getting more frustrated.  

She took off her sneakers and her fingers were quick to give her sole a quick massage. Her pair of plain white sneakers was then arranged on the shoe rack, letting her pair of socks to be the only thing covering her feet. She felt quite chilly when she stepped on the floor, even with that layer providing the warmth and protection. Nevertheless, she managed to get inside her room just in time before she felt dizzy and collapsed right on her bed. It was pure luck. Because she didn’t want her head cracked open. Not now. Not until she had a full grasp on the current occurrence and how she was to fix – or at least, confront everything calmly.

The things that she could comprehend were these: she came to the Park household, because her mother insisted that she wasn’t supposed to stress herself by doing stressful stuffs. Youngji was sure that her mother was talking about the thesis – which she hadn’t even touched ever since the day she came here. For some reason, her mom was still thinking that Youngji was not gonna be facing any trouble with the Parks. Her mother didn’t seem to remember one point though – that Chanyeol was a teenager, and teenagers like him were quite stupid.

Teenagers were stupid, therefore, Chanyeol’s friends were a bunch of idiots. A bunch of idiots who thought that Youngji was probably here to ruin the world peace. Such a pitiful logic, Youngji thought. But then she told herself that she understood where they were coming. But an overboard prank? Youngji thought for a while, and then she came up with a conclusion that it wasn’t a prank. She was being bullied, because apparently, somebody was too insecure and paranoid. She almost scoffed at the thought that somebody actually thought that she was still fond of Chanyeol – romantically.

The only reason why she was behaving this way – acting all rational and nonchalant was because of her parents’ advice. They told her to behave well and not to bring shame to her family’s name. What happening now didn’t seem to come in her favour. Once the articles – she really thought that the Korean high school image she had had on her mind was quickly crushed into pieces – about her were published, nothing would be quite the same. Her name was gonna be tarnished, and people would go around spreading nasty things about her. She calculated the damages, and she was lying if she said that she wasn’t afraid of the consequences.

She looked at her bags, and she contemplated on going back to Canada and just complete her thesis there. At that thought popping imaginarily in front of her – with a cute curly font – she immediately shook her head. Her mother was the one who sent her here, and she would not be pleased to know that her daughter was back at Canada. Youngji preferred to face the hardships at her school over confronting her mother’s wrath.

Another word – conclusion – popped in the air. She found a way. With that, Youngji decided that she would stay. As long as Chanyeol and Jooyeon were together, people wouldn’t talk about her. She would make sure to tell Chanyeol that – which was a torture for her since she really wanted to avoid him at all costs if possible – Jooyeon and him were not supposed to break up just because she was here. This plan actually gave her another solid reason on why she would not help Jongdae.

Jongdae. That name started to feel familiar on her tongue. He kept appearing out of the blue, and she wasn’t sure if she appreciated it. Deep inside, she really wanted to help him – she couldn’t help but to feel indebted whenever he helped her. There were things that were hindering her from doing that, though. She just didn’t know why, but she felt like there was this heavy feeling whenever she was trying to tell Jongdae that she declined his offer.

It had been about three hours since she had fallen asleep, she assumed. The sheer of orange breaking behind the curtain was enough to tell her that it was getting late. She slowly got up, brushing her hair in the process as the blinked her eyes a few times. Her hand went to her forehead, and she heaved a deep sigh as she realized that she had caught a fever. It had been a long time since the last time she caught a fever.  

Once her feet settled on the floor, she began stripping off her uniform and headed towards the bathroom. She stopped mid-way when she remembered that the uniform she was wearing was actually given by Jongdae. She wandered her eyes around the room and once she spotted a grey bag, she quickly made her way towards it. She was already thinking on how she was gonna return the uniform to Jongdae and how she was supposed to make sure that she wouldn’t offend him.

The empty bag felt quite heavy, which made it seem like there was something inside it, so Youngji took a look inside – and turned out, it wasn’t empty at all. There was a towel, and a comb which looked like it had been used for so many times. Youngji was too scared to think about how many owners the comb had served. She put the towel and the comb inside again, before she dropped her shoulders in frustration. She really should tell Jongdae about her decision so that the guy would stop bothering her.

She came into the bathroom, took her time to feel the relaxation engulfing her before she wrapped her towel around her body and stepped outside. The steam from the bathroom was still quite thick, and it was sort of inviting her to enjoy the bath again, but she quickly made up her mind and closed the bathroom door shut. Any type of distraction should be avoided, because she had a thesis to be completed, and a mental preparation to be set before tomorrow.

She thought that her eyes were deceiving her when she saw a figure sitting on her bed. She was about to scream in terror when the idea of actually having a ghost sitting on her bed approached her. But before she was even able to pull herself together to let out a scream, the figure turned its body – and Youngji saw a fool, grinning as if he hadn’t done anything wrong. Right, so he wasn’t really a ghost – but he broke into her room, for the second time. Youngji made sure to check this situation with her tutor later.

“Cover your eyes!” she screeched. Jongdae just blinked though. “Please cover your eyes,” she repeated her plead, and that’s when Jongdae hastily turned his face away from facing her. Luckily, the wardrobe was just beside the bathroom, so she didn’t need to go as far as approaching him and let him to have the privilege of watching her half- body.

“You are not comfortable?”

“With what? This?” she asked again as she was searching for a proper outfit.

Jongdae hummed while ruffling his hair. Youngji glanced at him, and she took notice of his plain black shirt and jeans. He was wearing a cap as well – which unfortunately fell on the bed when he ruffled his hair. Youngji thought that the cap added a spice to his appearance.

“Frankly speaking, I don’t really think that this is the nicest thing I’ve received from a man,” she spoke. “I hope that you can do something about it.”

“Maybe you can wear your clothes quickly?”

“That’s a good suggestion but I didn’t exactly mean that when I said do something,” she replied, voice a bit strained as she tried to multi-task – wearing her clothes while having a conversation. She thought that it was really inappropriate of her to have a guy in her room – during the night, and while she was but she didn’t have the heart to chase him away. He looked like he had something to do with her, and she was almost sure of it because when Jongdae was present, it was always because he had something to be said. “I was talking about how you casually end up in my room.”

“I got a feeling that you have more to be said,” Jongdae said, and Youngji abruptly stopped buttoning up her trousers. “But never mind. I’ll make sure to enter your room with permission next times.”

“Thank you.”

“Sehun and Jongin sent me here again by the way. They thought that their previous plan was really a success.”

“I see.”

“I think that you were about to say ‘that’s very foolish of them’.”

Youngji raised a brow. That wasn’t exactly what she thought when Jongdae mentioned about Sehun and Jongin, but it wasn’t that far-off. “Well, I’m just relieved that their plan seems to fail again.” She would never tell Jongdae that she was actually close to scream till the end of her life when she saw him sitting on her bed.”It’s quite disheartening to see that they still want to push me out from the picture.”

“Which is quite ironic, because they’re apparently in this house celebrating your arrival or something like that.”

“What?”

“Are you finished changing?” Jongdae asked, and when there was no answer, he turned his head to face Youngji again, only to found her having a dumbfounded expression. “Did I ruin another surprise again?”

Youngji rubbed her cheek while darting her eyes everywhere. “Well... I didn’t expect anything.”

“Many of your friends are here,” Jongdae stated. “Sehun, Jongin, Yifan, Luhan, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun. I brought Joonmyeon too – you know, the elevator guy. I just came here because the two idiots asked me to,” he said. He wanted to say something more, but he hesitated. “And I wanna give you these. I thought that you look pale,” he murmured. He lifted a heavy bag before he put it on the bed. “Apples.”

“That’s very nice of you,” she whispered. She felt really suffocated now. “Actually, Jongdae, I want to tell you that I wouldn’t be able to help you on your conquest.” 

“I know.”

“You do?”

“I’ve figured that out since the beginning,” he replied reluctantly. The guilt was back on his mind, but he ignored it. “I told you before, didn’t I? That I wasn’t bribing you.”  

“The uniform –“

“I wanna get it back, actually. With the comb as well,” he blurted out. “No offense,” he quickly blurted out when Youngji didn’t say anything.

“Okay,” she said, and Jongdae was relieved to find her using her normal voice. “But let me wash the uniform first, and as for the comb” – she grabbed the grey bag before she rummaged her hand inside and then took out the comb – “you can have it now.”

It was awkward, especially when Jongdae took the comb from her hand and stared at it as if it was a treasure. She wanted to question further, but she thought that it was quite unnecessary.

“By the way, I have a question – if you don’t mind,” she said, breaking the silence. Jongdae’s eyes were immediately directed at her as he shoved the comb into his pocket. “Are you really a bi?”

Jongdae laughed before he completely lied on the bed. Youngji felt upset looking at that, but she made sure to seal her lips shut – as for now. “I am. Why?”

Youngji kept blinking her eyes.

“You’re afraid of me?”

She hastily shook her head. She didn’t want him to misunderstand; she was probably a bit conventional – blame her parents for that – but she was not narrow-minded. She knew what to choose, and what to avoid. It wasn’t like she was bounded on one ground only. She could calculate her own actions and decisions, and to her, being acquainted with a person like Jongdae was not a problem. “I’m not,” she said, emphasizing those words. “You wouldn’t even be here if it’s that way,” she told him. “I just want confirmation.”

Jongdae was rolling on the bed, arms put under his head. Sometimes, it really amused him to chat with this person named Youngji. He wondered if there was anything else on her mind – because she was hardly could be read. He could not sense pretence – but he was sure that it was there. She was probably just too familiar with it, that it started to feel normal, making it to have an automatic switch on button. As times passed, he could assume that her mind had probably mistaken the pretence as something genuine. He glanced at her, which she replied by raising a brow. It was just his theory, though, so he wouldn’t say much.  

“Youngji?” a voice so smooth appeared out of the blue. It was from the outside.

Youngji narrowed her eyes. “Who is –“

“!” Jongdae whispered harshly and he immediately jumped from the bed and pushed Youngji aside. “Pretend that you’re shocked or anything like that,” he told her before he went to the door and opened it widely. He saw Kyungsoo.

“Why are you here –“

“I went to the wrong room,” Jongdae quickly said. “Look,” he said again, “she's very shocked.” He pointed at Youngji – and her lacklustre attempt on doing a ‘shocked’ expression. He was sure that she wasn’t even taking it seriously but never mind, it was only Kyungsoo. “Why are you here?”

“I just want to meet an old friend,” he said while grinning. He poked his head into the room. “Hi,” he greeted.

“Hi,” Youngji greeted back. She then remembered that apparently, she was being celebrated. “Is everyone outside?”

“Everyone? As in Sehun, Jongin, Luhan, Yifan and Baekhyun?” Kyungsook spoke rhetorically. “You can say that.”

“Wow.”

“I don’t think that you meant that wow,” Kyungsoo said, smiling cheekily. “Jongdae brought someone too – Joon-something.”

“Joonmyeon,” Jongdae stated. “So Kyungsoo” – he glanced at Youngji as the three of them went outside of the room – “don’t the others mind that you’re speaking to her on a friendly term?” he whispered, and he was glad that Youngji was paying no attention to Kyungsoo and him.

Kyungsoo sighed while shaking his head. “Jongdae” – he put a hand on Jongdae’s shoulder, caressing it – “you seem to forget that you can choose. We are not elementary kids anymore.”

“Some of us are.”

Kyungsoo thought for a while before he answered, “I agree. But it’s not like Sehun and Jongin will cut the ties if I ever befriend her again. They’re the ones who despise her – I don’t, and I have the say on that.”

“They seriously didn’t say stuffs like ‘our friendships will end if you choose her over us’?”

“No.” Kyungsoo shook his head.

Jongdae slumped his shoulders. “ – so they don’t mind after all.”

“Sehun minds actually – but I doubt that he wants to display his immaturity. He needs to learn to accept others’ decisions.”

Youngji feigned a cough. “The topic seems to be interesting, may I join the conversation?’

“It has ended about a few seconds ago,” Jongdae replied casually.

“That’s so unfortunate.”

“Very.”

Kyungsoo pulled Jongdae closer to him before he whispered, “I know that you were never in the wrong room.”