The doctor was right.

I'm about to die. In like 1 year and a half, he said.

My mom didn't take it well. Ok, whose mom would take it well? She shouted at the doctor, at the nurse...even at me!

"WHY ARE YOU SICK? HUH?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! WHY IS SHE SICK!!??"

I was just starring at her while she was about to get nuts.

"We are sorry Miss-"

"SORRY? YOU KNOW WHAT?! YOU!! YOU!!"

"Ok mom, we are leaving."

I grabbed her by her shoulders and pushed her outside.

"They are lying Anny!", she looked at me with crazy eyes and shook my shoulders. "You are not dying, right?"

"I'll have some more tests mom. We'll see. Surely they made a mistake."

"Yes, yes! Of course they did. You cannot die...no...", she whispered and held me tight in her arms.




But we were both wrong. I was dying. I had like 10 months Dr. Frank said.

Braincancer is surely the worst cancer.

My mom cried straight for 3 weeks while I wasn't even able to shed on tear. I wasn't sad. I was angry.

This is not the way I wanted to die. Hell no! I wanted to have a husbund, kids, two dogs and one cat. I wanted to work in an office and make a lot of money...and now they are telling me, I was about to die in like 10 months.

What should I do now? I wouldn't be able to do one of the things I dreamed of.

I called my friend Sandara. She cried like 1 week straight.

"What should we do?", she asked sadly and I loved her for that. Only with her one question she showed me that she'll be there for me. That she'll stay by my said.

"I don't know...", I sighed.

"Is there anything you want to do before you...I mean...", and there she goes again, sobbing like a little kid.

"I don't know Sandara. I don't know what I could do. Everything I wished for...I'll be never able to do it." I raised my head to the ceiling, the first tears streaming down my cheecks since my fist appointment.

"The doctor said, I should go and get drunk. Have fun and stuff..."

"And why aren't we doing this?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, getting drunk and have fun?"

"Well because my mom would kill me? And your mom would kill you too. We are eighteen. Don't forget that."

"You are right.", she sighed. "But wait!", she suddenly shouted. "What if they wouldn't find out?"

"How will they not find out? We live in their houses!"

"What if they wouldn't find out because we aren't there?"

"Girl, get to the point."

"You know that I am from korea, right? And I have cousins in korea! They are sooo chilled, we could do whatever we want!"

"In korea? Are you crazy? My mom would never allow it!"

"C'mon! In 3 weeks we'll have sommer vacation for like 3 months! Just tell your mom it would be a big wish of yours!"

"But it's not!"

"Listen to me! We could do WHAT-EV-ER we want! Go out at 2 a.m.! Go clubbing! Getting drunk! Kiss one boy and ignore them the next day! Do you get what I'm saying Anny? Freedom! You were always forced to do something your mom wanted from you! And to make her proud her dreams became your own. But they are fake! I remember how you always wanted to learn how to dance to hip hop and how to rap like J.Cole. C'mon Anny. You have nothing to lose. I'm there for you! We are in this together!"

"I don't know Sandara..."

"Ok then...let's make a roll play out of it!"

"Huh?"

"Look! You are probably scared what people will think about you and look down on your behaviour. They'll probably judge you and you don't want that, right?"

"Right."

"Then don't be you! Give your self another name. In these 10 months you are not anymore Anny! You are...Jennie! Yes! Jennie! And I will be Dara! We are both two crazy chicks. Living life at it's fullest. They will judge Jennie, but not you! Not the real you Anny. But that crazy stupid girl Jennie!"

"This will never work...mom will never allow it..."

"She will! And you know why? Because she wants to see you happy. More then anyone else. So go and tell her! Tell her we are flying to my cousins and you'll be staying there for 3 months. It's your biggest dream and you want to fullfill it! Now!"

"You mean Jennies biggest dream!"

"Yes, you are right, but for now you are still Anny! I don't want your mom to think that you turned crazy."

"Ok...I'll ask her. But I have to leave now Sandara-"

"Wait! We need a third name!"

"A third name? For who?"

"For your cancer, Anny", she said quietly. "I read it's easier to accept the fact that you have cancer if you name it."

"That's stupid."

"Just do it, Anny."

"Ok...I'm calling it...YG"

"YG? What is that supposed to mean?"

"WHY GOD?!"

We both started laughing for a while and hung up afterwards.


I'll just do whatever Sandara wants from me. She's a good loyal friend...and I know my mom will say no, so I'm not concern about really travelling to a country like Korea...Korea...phhh...my Sandara is crazy! Completly nuts!