Merci pour la vie, merci pour l'amour

Thank you for life, thank you for love

 

Kim Taeyeon

I wake up at seven. I tied my hair and fixed the mattress. I walked as many as eight steps to get me to the kitchen. I spent about fifteen minutes for breakfast. Banana Oatmeal complete with a cup of hot coffee. After that, I showered and spent less time while doing makeup. Honestly I'm not very good at that. After that, I would feed my cute cat before I leave for work. I would leave this home sweet home for about nine hours. That's my daily schedule. Except for Wednesdays and Fridays. Because on that day I would visit exhibition, my favourite place. 

I am 29 years old. These four years I opened a flower shop. Quite a pleasant job, not too many people came. Customers generally don't talk too much. And I don't need to hire anyone. All day with beautiful flowers, listening to classical music while enjoying a cup of mocha latte, and most importantly, I'm alone.

Experts say that people like me are called introverts. Not much talk, keep my own feelings, tend to not actively socialize. I cannot blame the theory. But of course everything there is a reason. So am I. Have you ever felt a feeling where you feel better when you're alone? Away from the crowds and the commotion. Avoid those who pretend to be sincere when they aren't. In this world, good people don't exist. There are only people who expect something. Someone who does something to get what he wants. People are fake. And i don't believe in anyone in this world.

Interacting with humans can also cause disappointment and misery. Nothing in this world is more dangerous than humans. Once you expect from them, you will eventually get hurt. How do you do to not get hurt? Don't deal with them.

They say that a human can not live without another human being. But I think that living by not relying on others will be good for ourselves. It's like you walk on a piece of rope where beneath you there is a deep chasm. If you let someone else stand on the same rope as you, then the risk that you will fall is greater. You fall because the rope sways faster, or you fall because of the person with you. The solution, don't let them stand on your rope.

They say life is like color. It could be bright, it could be dark. I think the color of my life is gray. Neither light nor dark. They say that a person's presence can make your life colorful. It's called true love. True love? I can laugh for a whole hour just by listening to those words. In this cruel world, there is no such thing as true love. You think I'm saying this because I'm single? I can summarize that because I have experienced many things about love. And as I said, hope turns into disappointment. This heart of mine that already full of wounds is numb. I've decided not to trust it anymore.

All I did was just to protect myself. I don't feel there was anything wrong with me. Although sometimes I feel pain in my chest, or I cry for no reason, but this is the best. Close myself tightly. Lock this heart and throw away the key so no one can find it. People always think wrong about me. They tend to leave me or excommunicate me. I don't want to waste my energy for anyone. I'm not trying to be a part of them anymore. The world is fine without me. If I die, people will not be sad. I live or die, the world will not care.

The feeling I hate the most is when I see a family laughing, loving each other, caring for each other and not blaming each other. That's when I realized that being alone is not always fun. But when I looked right and left, there was nobody I could laugh to and talk to. In the end I came home with my face bowed, feeling pain in my heart. I also have done a lot of things that can end my life. Most are not for suicide, but to feel whether there is a feeling more pain than feeling of lonely. Nothing works. My life is full of drama. I had hoped there was at least a part where I was happy. But so far, my life is a melodrama. I am destined to experience endless woes.

I was destined not to live or not to die.

 

Kwon Jiyong

My life is almost perfect.

A brilliant career, earning a lot of money, staying in a luxury home, having extensive connections and many friends, as well as being very popular with women. What's less than living of a 30-year-old man? I already have everything.

When I was young, I had a lot of worries about my future. Everything I achieved in this life of course I got with not easy journey. I have experienced many things. I have fallen many times, but i rose again and again. Great support from the people around me, also my belief that someday I will succeed. Look at me now. I'm up in the wind. Enjoy what I've achieved. I have become the person I want to be. I have lived life like the people I once saw on television. People love me, want to be my lover, and want to be like me. A Kwon Jiyong.

Accustomed to live side by side with people I've known for a long time make myself easy to mingle with others. I've known for being easy-going dan sociable. My work has made me connect with others. Not only people in the country, but also with people from abroad. I've met and worked with famous people. Having the same jobs and share sama interest make our relationship easier. In essence, I have many friends almost all over the world.

I am also like to enjoy this life. Life is not about the goal, but how you live it. I have a motto. That is, "Live your life today as you will die tomorrow". Life is pleasure. Meet people you like and have fun with them. Loving your job is one of them. Often spending a lot of time in the studio room, and staring at the computer screen for a long time makes me saturated and stressed too. To relieve the stress, I spend my time to have fun. Like going on vacation or partying at a club. I have so much fun with my friends.

One of the most important things in life. Women. I really like women. They are really amazing. I have a motto, "Single is not found in my dictionary". I've lived for thirty years and I've been in relationship with many women. Maybe I have more than 20 ex-girlfriends. Whether it's a serious relationship or just a fun. The longest single period is only two months. People usually ask, "How to get a girlfriend?", But I instead "How to be single?". Life is a choice. So also with women. True love? Of course. I'm in the process of looking for true love. But that doesn't mean I'm ready to get married. But I have already thought about how ideally a woman that would be my life partner.

I am grateful that I am an extrovert. That way I become easier to face this world. I'm also very good at expressing myself. I am surrounded by many people who are watching me so that I grew into a person who very hate being alone.

I love life so much. And I will do anything not to waste it.

 

☆☆☆☆

 

Kwon Jiyong

"I'm a chatter box. I just can't stay still"

Kim Taeyeon

"Silence is gold. People need to shut up"

Kwon Jiyong

"Human is social being. We cannot live without others"

Kim Taeyeon

"I can live by myself. I don't need anyone's help. I won't ask even if i'm dying"

Kwon Jiyong

"Life is how we enjoy it. Like hang out with friends by partying in club"

Kim Taeyeon

"I don't even know why am i still alive until now. I still don't understand what's exciting about party"

Kwon Jiyong

"I hate being alone the most"

Kim Taeyeon

"I love being alone the most"

Kwon Jiyong

"I do believe in love. I'm in process to find the one. That's why i date a lot. 'Single' cannot be found in my dictionary"

Kim Taeyeon

"Love is bull. Love only brings you pain, sadness, tears, despair, and temptation"

Kwon Jiyong

"Love is a glimpse of heaven"

Kim Taeyeon

"I told you there's no such thing as love"