chapter 18

Changkyun slowly opened his eyes and looked around the room with white walls. He quickly thought about what happened. the memories coming flying in jooheon helping him down the steps then getting him a glass of water. Sitting on the couch feeling his eyelids get heavy then felt cold really cold. Jooheon coming to his aid and the hug before everything went dark. He tried to lift his right hand but felt something holding it. He looked to his right and saw jooheon sitting down next to him asleep holding his hand. A small smile come to his face right before he felt a slip of tear. He quickly wiped away with his left hand. “ hey you awake how do you feel.” jooheon asked looking at changkyun. Changkyun just looked away trying not show jooheon he was crying. “ I am going to get the doctor and tell you are awake.” jooheon got up and left the room he didn't know what to say to changkyun and was starting to feel like everything that is happening to changkyun is his fault. and the fact changkyun was hiding his tumor from him for so long made jooheon hate himself even more. " I should have known," he said under his breath while he looked around the hall for a doctor or a nurse. 

He walked up to one of the nurses in the hallway telling them his brother woke up but his voice gives up on him before he even finished telling the nurse. The nurse nodded understanding and left to check on changkyun while jooheon stood in the hallway not once moving since the nurse left he stood there with his head down holding back tears that were trying to make themselves down his check. “ I am so sorry, “ he whispered then turned around to go back to the room changkyun was in. he took long heavy steps through the long hallway he looked at everyone there. mothers, fathers, children all sitting together holding one another. a family one changkyun never had, changkyun who never had a family because he made his life horrible taking everything away from him. that's when it hit jooheon "changkyun never took anything away from me I took everything away from him." he said under his breath standing outside changkyun door.  a small warm tear run down his cheek that he slowly wiped it away.  

Changkyun quickly wiped his tears away when he heard the door knob being turned thinking is jooheon he put on his bravest face. But after seeing the nurse entering alone he looked down thinking jooheon wasn't coming back. “ good morning Mr.Lee.” the dark-haired nurse with light brown eyes said smiling at changkyun who was lost in his thoughts. “how you feeling.” she asked after getting nothing from him. “ is my brother coming back.” he asked with a low voice that was almost a whisper. But the nurse heard and gave changkyun another smile. “ his coming he just outside.” changkyun nodded and went back to thinking of how he ended up in the hospital. “ anything on your mind you seem like you thinking a lot.” the nurse asked after seeing changkyun go lost in his mind again. “ um how did i get here.” he asked looking at the nurse who was checking his heart rate. “ will from what I saw last night it seemed like you collapsed because you didn't take you medication and you your brother brought you in he was really worried. he came in screaming asking someone to help him.” the nurse said putting down changkyun right wrist after seeing his pulse. “ jooheon brought me in.” changkyun said shock showing through his voice. The nurse nodded. “ seems like everything alright here I will go get the doctor.” she said walking to the door then leaving changkyun who just lied on his bed thinking why the person who hated him so much just days ago bring him to the hospital. He remembered the endless time jooheon told him he should just disappear that no one what him around, that his a burden that made everyone live horrible. Changkyun took a deep breath he was starting to feel a headache coming from all the thinking and memories.

Jooheon was about to walk in when he saw changkyun holding his head from the small window on the door. He quickly opened the door and run to changkyun aid. “ hey kyunie what's wrong.” he asked leaning down next to changkyun lifting his head up to see what's wrong. Changkyun looked up at his brother and before he knew it he started to cry he quickly looked down trying to wipe the tears away. “ are you in pain should I get one the nurse.” jooheon asked worried he didn't know if changkyun was in pain but seeing him cry broke his heart.

“ I am okay,” changkyun said still looking down. “ then what's wrong why are you crying.” “ it's nothing just thinking.” when changkyun said that jooheon exactly knew what he was thinking about. "Hey chang….” “ you should go dad probably home from work.” changkyun said cutting jooheon of before he could finish what he was about to say. “ I am not leaving you until you get out of the hospital.” “ I don't think I will be getting out anytime soon.” changkyun said biting down his lip when he felt his headache getting stronger. “ changkyun why didn't you tell me you were sick.” jooheon asked changing the subject about him leaving. “you wouldn't care if I told you or anyone.” “ I care changkyun i was really worried last night.” jooheon said looking at his brother.  “ why would anyone care if a bastard like myself is sick or dying.” changkyun said looking up at jooheon who was taken back from what changkyun said. “ it's okay you could leave I could take care of myself I always did.” changkyun said he felt his heart beating really fast making hard him to breathe. “ stop changkyun you're not a bas…. HEY HEY HEY KYUNIE LOOK AT ME CHANGKYUN. HELP.”  jooheon started to shout after he notices changkyun stop breathing and fell back on his bed. He watched in horror as the nurses and doctor come in running he stepped back holding his breath as the doctor started to do CPR. He watched as the doctor grab the electric shock and pressed on changkyun chest but noting. changkyun wasn't moving he lied on the bed lifeless.  jooheon fell to his knees begging the doctors to bring changkyun back.