“I just wanted to start off by saying I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things to you. I know I hurt you and I’m sorry, but truthfully, what you did was pretty hurtful as well. Maybe if you took feelings other than your own into consideration….hmm…ani...I just wanted to say I’m sorry. This whole thing could have been avoided if you just communicated better instead of just leaving. If you want to live with us, you have to be more considerate….ah mwoya, not that that either…” Taeyeon argued with herself over what words to express to Hyoyeon. She sat alone in her dark room, the only light source being her tablet.  She had taken a nap after the fight that erupted earlier and woke up around 5pm. She was still quite tired but couldn’t sleep any longer before making peace with Hyoyeon. The thing stopping her from doing so? Well, every time Taeyeon formulated a good start for a conversation, it leads down a route that would without a doubt start another fight.

Why was she having such trouble thinking? She was always good with words and confronting people. In the past when she and Hyoyeon fought, it ended peacefully with a hug and maybe even getting something to eat or drink after. Taeyeon was usually the one to approach first, even if Hyoyeon was the one who started the fight. She’d keep it short and to the point and she never once second guessed herself. There were also times when she just wanted the fight to be over and dropped things in order for there to be peace. Now she was practicing ways to apologize to Hyoyeon, hesitant to further the discussion about what made her upset in the first place. Something more was behind it this time. Tiffany was that something more.

Before her thoughts could touch down on the role Tiffany played in this, her phone started buzzing. She didn't realize the room had gone dark from her inactive table. She could feel the phone vibrating somewhere under the covers and started patting and moving around in search of it. She felt it close to the pillow and found it underneath. A notification was up on the lock screen. “Taeyeon-unnie..” It said. It was Yoona. Taeyeon swiped the message to go to it and gave her phone her fingerprint to unlock it. It took her to the full message from Yoona:

유나야 5:15pm:

[Taeyeon-unnie...]

[Did you rest well?]

[We peaked in on you earlier and saw you were sleeping.]

[Tiffany, Sunny and I are heading down to the dance studio. The other girls will be there as well.]

[Hajiman…Hyoyeon-unnie is still in the house. When we left, she was on the couch, dressed and ready to go, however, she stayed behind. She said wanted to finish her show, but we think she just wanted to speak to you. Taengooya…Please talk to her so we can all meet again on happier terms.]

[Sound good? Annyeong eonie.]

Taeyeon rested her hand in her lap and looked up at the ceiling. It was all dark except for where the cellphone light was adjacent to it. What would she do? What would she say? She wanted to stay put in her room, there’s no tension in there. Only quiet and the light of her iPhone. As if to signal her to stop hiding from her problems, problems she wasn’t even 100% clear on, her phone locked itself and the light went out. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Aigoo~…”

Hyoyeon was sitting in the middle of the couch, her feet were curled up underneath her and her hands in loose fists on her lap. She was wearing a long sleeve shoulder-less blue sweater and what appeared to be white skinny jeans. Her hair was in a messy top bun with little pieces of curly fringe hugging the shape of her face. She looked so pretty. Taeyeon watched this kid grow from a cute dork into a stunning dork over the years. She was chewing on her lower lip when she caught Taeyeon in the corner of her eye. She cleared and swung her feet out from under her, but kept her hands in her lap. She was visibly anxious. Taeyeon mirrored that expression. Her lips puckered slightly and she found herself feeling like she was standing in a crowded room and everyone was staring at her. She stood there awkwardly in the doorway. She’d glance at Hyoyeon, then look down at her feet. She’d peak up at Hyoyeon and then focus on something else in the room. Hyoyeon did the same, glancing at Taeyeon, at the tv, darting her eyes back to Taeyeon when Tae would shift her posture. This went on for about 30 seconds before Hyoyeon said, “Unnie…come sit.”

It took a second for Taeyeon to react, but when she did she walked over to the couch and sat down. The sound of the leather crunching as she sat seemed extremely loud. She sat close enough to speak comfortably, but further than arms reach. She suddenly felt really hot, even though the room had a chill. Her heart rate was slightly elevated and each thump was hard enough that it felt as if it rocked her body. She opened to say something but Hyoyeon spoke first.

“Taeyeona..” Hyoyeon turned her body to she directly faced Taeyeon. Her brows were furrowed and her eyes had a slight sparkle to them as if they were getting ready to release tears. “Mianhaeyo…I didn’t mean to leave you out. I really wanted to surprise you and the girls. I realize how I went about doing it looked and I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Taeyeon could tell she was being sincere. How could she bring up her complaints when Hyoyeon was like this? Should she just apologize for yelling and leave it at that? Should she make her frustrations clear? The latter seemed better for the long run, but she had no idea how to approach it. Things Hyoyeon did in the past were eating at her, but she had already verbally forgiven her for them in the past just to regain peace. Would this be another instance of that? Or would she stand her ground and not let things off lightly.

“Taeyeona…do you want me to move out?” Hyoyeon asked. Taeyeon’s eyes widened, she was startled.

“Aniya, no, no, why would you say that?” Taeyeon said frantically.

“I heard you saying it through the door yesterday. I sat by it after I slammed it. My back was pressed against it. I didn’t intend to listen, but I heard…Do you think it would be better if I left?”

Taeyeon completely forgot in that moment that she had said it when cleaning up the table. The memory came racing back to her though, as did the looks of disappointment and anger on her friend's faces. “I..” Taeyeon started saying, finally looking Hyoyeon in the eyes, “"I've got something to say. I said that..yes. But I was also angry. I let my emotions take control of my mouth and said bitter words that I didn’t mean. I don’t want you to leave..” Annnnd….annnnnd….Taeyeon thought to herself. She knew she had to say more to address the situation, to prevent it from happening again. To prevent her from bottling up her anger over small instances to form big explosions. She was going to say it. She opened and said, “Hyoyeonnie, how about we put this behind us and go meet up with the girls?” Dammit. Taeyeon cursed herself mentally.

“Are…Are you sure? I feel as though you have more to talk to me about. It seemed like a lot of things were bothering you last night….Talk to me.” Hyoyeon pleaded.

Yes, you’re right, things you have done lately have been making me upset. Taeyeon thought.

“No no,” Taeyeon said, “I was just angry.” Liar. “I really wanted to go and see the place for myself. I also wanted us to go as a family, so I felt hurt by that, that’s all there was to it!” Liar liar. “I’m already over it,” Geoooojismal. “Jeongmal mianhaeyo unnie, I will work harder address things in a more meaningful manner.” 

Hyoyeon had a look of doubt on her face. Taeyeon was obviously glossing over something. Taeyeon hoped her smiling would be enough to change Hyoyeon’s suspicious look, but it seemed to get even more serious. 🎵I got a boy meotjin I got a boy chakan, I got a boy handsome boy nae mam- 🎵

"Yeobeosaeyo?" Hyoyeon said.

”Yeobeosaeyooooooomm” A voice rang out through the speakers of Hyoyeon’s phone. It was Tiffany. Taeyeon's eyes focused on the phone.

“Paniya,” Hyoyeon’s face relaxed and seemed to forget her suspicions of Taeyeon. Taeyeon’s face, however, tightened up a bit.

“Ya, eodi isseo? Did you and Taeyeon patch things up yet?”

“Mm. She’s here with me,”

“I’m here,” Taeyeon called out loud enough for Tiffany to hear. Her voice was flat.

“Ah! Good! Now get your butts over to Sooyoung's. We changed plans about dance practice. Tonight is gonna be a fun night, we’ve got out the drinks and are starting the BBQ!”

“Arassoooo” Hyoyeon replied with a bit of aegyo. “We’re leaving now! Annyeong~!”

“Bye boo!” Hyoyeon’s phone made the sound of a double tone signaling the hangup of the call. She took a deep breath, stood up and stretched. “We should head on over,” She said after relaxing from her stretch. It felt good.

“Mm,” Taeyeon replied and stood up. As she turned around her hand was grabbed by Hyoyeon. Taeyeon turned to face her, her hand limp in Hyoyeon’s gentle grasp.

“Are you sure we’re okay?” Hyoyeon asked, her eyes looking for answers all across Taeyeon’s face. 

Taeyeon lightly wrapped her fingers around Hyoyeon’s. “Mm,” She said while nodding. “I’m gonna get dressed,” She swiftly removed her hand from Hyoyeon’s hold and headed to her room. She fought mentally with herself from the moment she let go of Hyoyeon’s hand, through the process of changing her clothes and to the moment they shut the doors behind them when leaving the house. Why did the relationship between Hyoyeon and Tiffany get under her skin so much. Tiffany was allowed to have other friends. They were all friends with each other. But Tiffany was Taeyeon’s person. She’d been Taeyeon’s person for over 10 years. The way Tiffany looked at her today haunted Taeyeon. It was different from when they fought. It felt different. It felt like she was picking a side. Picking a side that wasn’t hers.

Taeyeon let Hyoyeon drive as she wanted to remain in her thoughts and not have to focus on the environment around her. As the car pulled out of the driveway, Taeyeon wondered if she was losing Tiffany. As the car ventured off, Taeyeon assured herself she wouldn’t let that happen.