7:59 A.M.

Heart Made Up On You

"What. Was that?"

Youngjae silently murmured to himself as he was walking down the empty hallway of the old building of the physics department. He'd just wanted to stay back a little to focus on his assignments because his professors were slowly but surely getting them ready for their finals.

Of course he hadn't expected that somebody would actually interfere with his plans, it had never happened before anyway, but this time was different. Youngjae wasn't sure if he had been dreaming the past 10 minutes, because whatever it had been that just happened, it couldn't have been real. Not real as in, Sungjae-not-having-multiple-cups-of-yogurt-in-his-backpack-every-day-not-real and Yongguk-not-lecturing-Sungjae-on-how-to-recycle-his-trash-the-right-way-not-real. Even if these things may seem odd, Youngjae would feel like something was off if either of those just wouldn't occur some day.

But what had happened in the lecture room just now, just mere seconds ago, seemed even more unrealistic. Because Youngjae would have never thought that Jung Daehyun knew who exactly he is. Even if they went to the same high school together and have been studying at the same college for two years already.

Now, this may seem as if Youngjae had been following the slightly older boy all those years along, but really, it had been pretty difficult to ignore Jung Daehyun during his time in high school. He was on the soccer team, had an angelic voice praised thoroughly by every music teacher at their school, Daehyun was actually intelligent and received a great diploma in the end, he was good looking and in general, a pretty friendly guy who may seem to be hard to approach. Youngjae hadn't tried it so he couldn't really judge.

And really, Youngjae probably hasn't spoken a single word to Jung Daehyun all those years, despite knowing about his existence and despite having the tiniest, littlest, smallest crush on him during their senior year.

He swears he's over that though. He'd even dated this insanely hot guy from the literature department for a short amount of time during his freshman year. Totally over Jung Daehyun.

One of the main reasons that he was studying at this particular college was that his childhood friend Yongguk had always talked about his time there during his freshman year. Now he was in his fourth year and about to graduate, Youngjae being at the very end of his second year.

Yongguk had been Youngjae's next door neighbor since Youngjae and his family moved from one end of the outskirts of Seoul to the other. Youngjae had been eight years old and was already a pretty strong willed kid. There were times he didn't like Yongguk since the older boy seemed to only lecture him and try to teach him whatever when Youngjae really just wanted to play some soccer in their backyard.

But there was something about Yongguk that reminded him of his brother. Even though Youngjae's brother was a bit older, somehow the both of them gave Youngjae the feeling of being protected and Youngjae really needed that despite having a pretty strong character.

Yet there have been times where Youngjae didn't want anything else than Yongguk to just leave him alone and not treat him like a child. Especially when Jaebum had asked him out last year, Yongguk just didn't seem to leave him alone whenever Jaebum was around him. It even went so far that Yongguk would tell Youngjae that Jaebum wasn't the right guy for him and that he'd tell Youngwon. It was pretty annoying, especially since Yongguk was usually very calm and collected, also one of the most reasonable guys Youngjae knew.

So Youngjae wasn't really sure if he should tell him that Jung Daehyun had basically just asked him out.

Kinda. But, like, more in a "Hey bro, wanna hang out" kind of way. Youngjae wasn't sure. He kind of wanted it to be more like a date if he'd be perfectly honest, not just two bros chilling. He swears if Jung Daehyun calls him bro just once he'd call the entire thing off.

But honestly speaking, Daehyun had only asked Youngjae to hang out in the afternoon, have a ride together.

Yeah, sure, Youngjae knew Daehyun was filthy rich and that it apparently was considered a normal activity to just go on a ride together with friends. But they hadn't talked like, ever, maybe that one time during their senior year in high school would count, when they both were about to hand in an assignment to their history teacher. Don't get him wrong here, they have never shared any classes, but due to some issues Mr. Kang had to take two senior classes during that year so it just turned out that way.

And after telling himself that it definitely had to be fate that the both of them would hand in their assignments at the same day and exact same time, Youngjae stammered out a few words of apology since they sort of bumped into each other, a little. He knew his cheeks were probably redder than before and he ducked his head a little, avoiding looking at the older boy as much as he could.

But Daehyun had just said it was fine and dismissed it, knocking on their professor's office and quickly handing his paper over, leaving with a goodbye Youngjae didn't know wether it was directed at their teacher only or not. Youngjae knew he shouldn't be hoping too much, they've never really interacted and this wasn't some cliché romcom where Daehyun would just stop and stare, starstruck because he was sure it was love at first sight.

So Youngjae just smiled at his professor and submitted his paper before leaving, knowing he still had to go to his cello practice.

But it somehow felt a little like heartbreak. That feeling when realization settles into your bones, that the person you've liked for months doesn't even have the slightest interest in you nor will they ever care.

Youngjae wasn't able to concentrate on his cello at all that day, he couldn't get into the mindset, he wasn't able to imagine himself living in the cello like he always does. His little home, his sanctuary.

Despite his interests in physics, chemistry and maths, his cello had always been the most important to him, at first his father didn't want him to play and his mother had suggested he'd rather play the piano but Youngjae knew he would get bored of that. And whenever he felt that the numbers got to his head, Youngjae would simply sit down and slowly breathe in and out before grabbing his cello and playing to his heart's content. He felt as if he could open up whenever he played, showing his emotions had always been pretty difficult to him especially with time it wasn't just being angry at his brother for not having the time to play in the garden with him, it was feeling helpless because he didn't really know what to do with his life after graduating, it was being lonely because sometimes it felt like nobody understood, it was feeling heartbreak because Jung Daehyun didn't even look at him.

But it got better, Youngjae felt content when he entered college, he made friends with a few of Yongguk's classmates such as Seokjin, he was studying literature and was in the same year as Yongguk was but would probably stay in college longer since he's planned a year abroad.

Seokjin was also the person who introduced Jaebum to him. Youngjae remembered that it had been around the end of November, they were getting some coffee at the College's coffee shop before heading to Seokjin's and Yongguk's apartment to individually revise a little.

If Youngjae had to be honest, he'd seen Jaebum around campus a lot wether it was because he somehow stood out to Youngjae or because the literature department was right next to the physics department. But Youngjae was drawn to him anyhow, the pitch black hair always styled up and parted on the side, his eyes piercing and the two little beauty marks below his eyebrows striking. It may have been the way Jaebum carried himself, his head held high and his shoulders broad and protecting.

His smile was sweet and Youngjae often found himself lingering too long in one of the hallways.

So to say he'd already liked Jaebum in the beginning wasn't a complete lie but he's never really talked to him personally, and if it remembered him of his senior year in high school well, he'd try to forget that and focus on the current situation. But if it was a coincidence that Jaebum was working his shift at that time was questionable to Youngjae, he'd always liked to hold onto small things that usually were of a bigger meaning than he'd think they were, so yeah, maybe to Youngjae a lot of coincidences were fate.

It went fine if you were to ask Seokjin but Youngjae remembered forgetting completely what he wanted to order, he felt his cheeks heat up like they usually do when he felt embarrassment creeping beneath his skin. Jaebum's smile was much brighter up close and it felt so warm that Youngjae just stared as Jaebum greeted Seokjin and asked how he was doing.

And perhaps Seokjin knew much more than what he let others think, despite the short amount of time they knew each other and considered each other friends, Youngjae had noticed that Seokjin was very observant and in moments like these, it terrified him. There were things Youngjae would like to keep to himself but with someone like Seokjin around, Youngjae had a hard time keeping his secrets to himself, somehow Seokjin would always succeed and have him talking about his biggest fears and brightest hopes.

So when Seokjin turned around to grab Youngjae by his arm and introduced him, Youngjae could see the faint hint of a sly grin hiding in between the corners of his lips. For a moment Youngjae looked at the older man appalled, Seokjin usually was the one helping him out of uncomfortable or awkward situations whenever those included boys.

"Hi." Jaebum's voice rang lonely in the air because Youngjae was somehow too perplexed to talk, his head full of possible responses and his cheeks hot.

"Hey"

"So, Youngjae, what would you like to get?" Jaebum was smiling and without questioning why he knew Youngjae's name, Youngjae tried to calm himself down because there was no reason for him to become a nervous wreck whenever there was someone slightly attractive standing in front of him.

"Can I get an iced coffee with hazelnut syrup, no milk please."

"Sure."

Youngjae could feel Seokjin nudge him in the rips when Jaebum left the counter to prepare their drinks. "What do you think of him?"

"Why're you asking?"

Youngjae looked around the Cafe, ignoring the harsh look Seokjin gave him realizing Youngjae didn't necessarily want to engage in that conversation.

"Cause I know that he has a thing for you." Seokjin continued, hoping that Youngjae would eventually perk up hearing those words. It wasn't a lie either, Seokjin had been around Jaebum quite often since the term started, he'd tutored one of his friends for two months or a bit more and since Jaebum was studying in the same department it wasn't very unlikely for them to meet eventually.

"I kind of doubt that, hyung." Youngjae turned around to face Seokjin, a smile on his face since Seokjin's statement was somewhat ridiculous.

"Why?" Seokjin sometimes couldn't get his head around what was going on in Youngjae's mind, "You're intelligent and interesting. You're pretty."

"I don't know, no one's ever really been interested in me."

"Oh come on, as if!"

With an exaggerated huff Seokjin fully turned to Youngjae to argue over that statement because it was utterly absurd and he didn't really want to believe it because Youngjae to him had been striking since the first time Yongguk had introduced the younger boy to him and the other seniors. Youngjae was very straight forward and didn't seem to be afraid of his new environment just like many of the other freshmen, he was brutally honest and it stirred an inner desire in Seokjin to be there for him when he needed help.

To Youngjae's luck, Seokjin had to shut his mouth since Jaebum came back with their drinks.

Youngjae honestly hated whenever anyone would ask him about his love life, he'd just recently gotten over Jung Daehyun (or at least he tried) and he didn't really have the desire to experience the exact same thing once again.

"Here you go." Jaebum smiled once again but this time Youngjae couldn't help but feel as if it was only directed at him, Seokjin for sure did say some which messed with his mind and thoughts. He should really forget about all of this real quick, it's not that he didn't have any interest in Jaebum, it was just too early probably.

"Thanks."

Youngjae got out his wallet as Seokjin paid for his own drink and he heard a soft "I'll wait for you outside." only to see Seokjin walking out of the Cafe with both of their drinks and a grin on his lips.

"By the way, it's on the house." Youngjae heard Jaebum say who was still standing behind the counter, his lips slightly parted and a gleam in his eyes that Youngjae couldn't decipher.

"Oh, no, that's fine." Youngjae stuttered, looking down at his wallet before he quickly turned his head to see Seokjin leaning onto the window with his back. "Seokjin paid too, it's fine."

"Well, think of it as a form of bribery." Jaebum said, leaning onto the counter with his palms flat on the surface, the gleam in his eyes Youngjae had noticed earlier was playful and full of youth, it was somewhat enchanting to have someone looking at him like that and it made Youngjae completely speechless.

"Bribery?" He slowly got out, his head tilted to the side as he wasn't really sure where this was going but Seokjin's words all of a sudden echoed in his head. Which was ridiculous, Youngjae has never been that lucky.

"Let me take you out on a date sometime."

 

Youngjae punched Seokjin the moment he stepped out of the Cafe. "You jerk, I hate you."

"I literally warned you." Seokjin was laughing and it was in some way endearing but only because the older one's smile was so bright and he slung his arm around Youngjae's shoulder, having him feeling save and protected. Seokjin knew Youngjae liked it whenever someone would hold him close, be it platonic or not.

But somehow the thing with Jaebum started to feel a little off at some point, to Seokjin and Yongguk especially. It wasn't like they thought Jaebum was cheating on Youngjae or anything or that he was treating the younger not as good as he deserved (which was, if you go with Seokjin's words, like a tiny, angry, half god). It just seemed as if they didn't compliment the other's character traits all too well. Youngjae could be very loud, maybe even at times when he shouldn't and Jaebum seemed to always try and quieten him down when Youngjae had to laugh really hard at something he'd seen on his phone during lunch break, hitting Jaebum's shoulders in the process.

Jaebum didn't like to show his relationship off in public and Youngjae really, really liked to walk down the hallways holding hands with Jaebum whenever they had the time to meet up between lectures.

Youngjae didn't notice at first, that sometimes they seemed to just talk past each other and that sometimes Jaebum would let go of his hand the moment they took a turn to his lecture room.

At first when Yongguk told him that maybe he should talk with Jaebum about some things, Youngjae felt utterly hurt. He didn't want anybody interfering in his relationship now that he finally was happy, but Yongguk's words stuck to his mind if he wanted them to or not. And Youngjae started to understand, and the more time went on, the more he felt that Jaebum also knew that what they had wouldn't last all too long and if they'd continue now it would only unnecessarily hurt in the end.

They ended it on a good note, telling each other they'd stay as friends but ever since then Youngjae hadn't seen Jaebum around too much and maybe it was better off that way. 

Youngjae had really, really liked Jaebum. If that wouldn't have been the case then Youngjae would have never gone out with him, but somehow, in the back of his mind there were glances stolen in the hallways at three in the afternoon, heart beating at 7.59 in the morning and Youngjae couldn't help but remember every little thing that gave him hope during his high school years.

Even if Youngjae told himself over and over again that it was just an irrational crush on someone who would never look at him, he still didn't want to stop thinking about Jung Daehyun.

Something must be wrong with him, if you go after Junhong's words on a Saturday night in Youngjae's dorm room as he was mixing rum and a lot of Capri Sun packs as he was sitting on Youngjae's floor, because who actually enjoys unrequited love.

And as much as Youngjae had stopped hoping for Jung Daehyun to (unintentionally) mess with his head, his encounter just moments ago had honestly thrown him off, Youngjae would have thought he'd fallen asleep and dreamt the whole thing.

 

 

 

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the daejae tag is so dry i couldn't feel my crustY lips anymore

anyhow my fellow kids and polyuals 

i decided to upload a little something that i will continue once i finish a one shot called Spin the Bottle 

enjoy this/ a thought i had during a terrible traffic jam in Italy

 

 

 

 

 

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greypaper
I ran a poll on Twitter for people to decide wether I should change Himchan's character into someone else and the answer was yes, so I thought about who would fit for the character and immediately Seokjin came to my mind, just so nobody gets confused

Comments

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yellowrere #1
Chapter 1: i like the fact that daehyun asked youngjae to hang out even tho they haven’t shared any class or talked to each other I’m curious about it .
bamboy #2
Chapter 1: ahhh i love literally everything you write and i'm so ready to see where this goes! youngjae seems like a sweetheart, i hope daehyun is good to him! thank you for sharing this! :)
NaDaeHyun #3
Chapter 1: Thank you for updating ㅠㅠ ♡♡♡ cant wait to read more!
You're here in Italy? XD
Ps I agree the daejae tag is soooo dry ;_; thank you for updating you're one of my fav authors ♡
onlywriter_7
#4
Why i can't read the chapter? It's updated right?
LuhPark
#5
Please update soon! ^^