Some were afraid of love, some felt like love was the most wonderful thing, some thought love was toxic, some were afraid of feeling love at all. Love was, from what Sooyoung had concluded, good and bad in many ways. That, of course, didn’t come from no observation at all. She was also a bookworm, an outgoing bookworm, some didn’t think at all that she was actually a nerd. So books were a great help to making conclusion.

One thing for sure, love wasn’t all about butterflies and fluttery feeling and shy blushes. She had grown out on those teen reads.

Sooyoung stared at the whiteness of her ceiling. The window was open, and the night air was coming through it. It made her cold, but she loved the cold. Cold brought her peace unlike heat who brought her unpleasant mood.

It was a rare night when she suddenly thought about the very matter. Why? Was she finally an adult now?

The blame was on Seohyun. The very wise and know-it-all Seo Joohyun who thought it was a good idea to ask Sooyoung such a question. The two were bookworms, but in different kind of areas. The younger girl preferred book with such deep, heavy contents.

“Well, do you love him though?” The younger girl asked. It was after Sooyoung had talked about Baekhyun, her childhood, neighbor next door, and her bestest bestfriend, to one of her bestfriends. It was just the usual rant of an annoyed Sooyoung when her bestfriend did something wrong.

“Yeah, of course,” Sooyoung answered. Of course everyone loved their bestfriend. What a creative question.

But Seohyun had looked at her with that look that only Seohyun could pull off. Every stares of hers could hold thousands different meanings. She wondered what this one held. Seohyun stared at the older girl with one of that look while asking that question which Sooyoung had to dig up to the inside of her head to search something she wasn’t even sure what. Although the younger girl said nothing at all after that.

Anyways she hadn’t seen Byun Baekhyun since noon.

Seohyun didn’t mean that kind of ‘love’ did she? She thought. She had read so many cliche stories of bestfriends becoming lovers and whatnot. That they were just not realizing their love at all. That couldn’t be. Her love for her bestfriend was just the same since the very beginning. Nothing different. Nothing changed. Not at all.

How? How in the world could they be in love with each other when both of them had dated through the years they grew up. Now they’d be graduating in months. Oh how time flies.

So why was she suddenly thinking such a deep matter?

She laughed at herself and shifted her stare to the front, wanting to count the sheeps in the painting to help her become sleepy. She stopped in her 37th sheep, forgetting that the window was still open. She decided to close it or she would catch a cold. Summer cold was  bad. It was fortunate that her father decided to make the window not so high and close to her bed, just beside it. She positioned herself to sit, her hands reaching out to the white-framed window.

It was when she caught sight of a plain white door of the room nextdoor was opened from outside. Baekhyun came through it, slowly closing the door again. She could see because his window was also open. Always open. He never closed it. Despite the distance, she could see Baekhyun was a bit exhausted but freshened by a bath, she could tell by his hair that was dripping wet and the towel on his head. The boy had just got home from playing futsal with his buddies.

Sooyoung continued to stare. It was always like that. Always waiting for him to finally look at her direction. He was now trying to dry his wet hair with the white towel. His head hang low down. He snapped his head to move his wet bangs up, trying to dry it cat-style, when he finally look at the direction of the room nextdoor and he saw his bestfriend.

“Hey there!” He said. Though, she didn’t even hear. He continued with wiggling eyebrows playfully.

“Why don’t you use my hairdryer?” She asked, or more like, yelled.

“Great idea,” He yelled too, “but would you want to throw that thing across though?”

The girl laughed. “Chances are high that my hairdryer wouldn’t reach the window, so no.”

He went beck to drying his hair and she went back to lie down after finally deciding to let the window open this time. And she slept.

***

The next evening, though. The same exact thing happened again. Sooyoung looking out through the window to Baekhyun attempting to dry his hair with only a towel. It could take a long time, though. Unless he wanted to make his pillow wet from his hair too.

She saw him getting up from the bed and out of the door. Minutes later, her unlocked door was opened from the outside. Came Baekhyun with his white towel hanging from shoulders, hair still wet. A distinct scent of shampoo suddenly filled her room.

“Guess I really need a hairdryer. Last night I have to wait for three hours to sleep.”

“Told you so.”

“ I don’t have a sister.” The boy casually reached to the table beside the bed, sit on the chair, and then the noisy sound of a hairdryer filled Sooyoung’s room. “Buy one.”

“No way,” He disagreed right away. Sooyoung replied with a shrug.

“Are you going to sleep?” The girl shook her head. “No, not really. I don’t know. I’m waiting to feel sleepy.”

“Just close your eyes. You’ll be asleep before you know it,” the boy suggested. Though, he knew it never worked for her. He knew her very sleeping problem. “It won’t work,” she replied.

“I think we should go to the doctor. See if—” He stopped when she was looking at him with that look again. “—maybe you should try to listen to asmr sounds. It’s a light sleep-aid therapy. I hear they help.”

“Well, just talk. I’m sure I’ll fall asleep hearing you speak.”

“Okay then. Do you mind the hairdryer sound though?”

***

Sooyoung woke with a great feeling as if she could conquer the world right now. But today is Monday, so conquering the world had to wait. She wanted to be out and walk and anything that was outside.