.:.:Honesty&Reality:.:.

Nichkhun Horvejkul does not lie.

He’s just… Hiding a few things.

Ok, maybe a lot of things.

But most of all, he’s so… Uncertain.

Maybe he was forced to join WGM.

Maybe his heart didn’t jump in the slightest.

Maybe he felt about one tenth of what he looked like when he was with Victoria.

Maybe he was just a good actor.

Of course, he wasn’t lying about his feelings; he was just keeping them hidden…

Right?

But then there were the times when he should have been lying… But couldn’t.

Maybe if he could choose, he would pick him instead.

Maybe chubby cheeks were meant for kisses and hands were made for holding.

Maybe hugs meant something more.

Maybe he really felt something.

Maybe… Maybe that boy could feel it too.

But, certainly, he’s lying to himself. He doesn’t really feel anything at all. And he’s just thinking too hard.

Right?

He couldn’t actually like the ssanti boy.

Right?

He was so confused. Weren’t they just friends? Good friends?

Doesn’t he only like girls?

Thousands of questions left unanswered. Millions of thoughts left untouched.

Of course he doesn’t like the boy.

Then…

Why does his heart jump when he enters the room?

Why does he automatically hug him every time he sees him?

Why did he enjoy that paper kissing game?

Why was he only jealous when other people touch him?

If only he could answer those questions.

Was he trying to convince himself?

That he wasn’t in love?

That he only liked girls?

That he was just uncertain?

That he wasn’t a liar?

But who really knows what time will tell?

Maybe uncertainty and lies will disappear.

Maybe he’ll be left with only choices.

Maybe someday he’ll really be certain...

That he’s in love.

That he doesn’t like girls as much as…

His special person.

His chubby-cheeked dongsaeng.

His ssanti dancer.

His one and only huswife.

One day, maybe he’ll learn to accept the facts he convinced himself not to believe.

But before that happens, he’ll always be Nichkhun.

The guy who only likes girls.

The guy who was deeply attached to Victoria.

The guy who thinks of his ssanti boy only as a friend.

The guy who’s perfect in every and any way.

But most of all…

The guy who doesn’t lie.