(an that's a lil important at the end)

it's 2:17 am and luhan has screamed his throat raw, he's practically lost his voice and he's doing nothing to help it, the discarded vodka bottles strewn across the bed prove that. he let his one true love walk out of his life. never again will he see his melanin-kissed skin, his brown eyes that were reminiscent of home, the scar on his right cheek. never again will he hug him and be embraced by the comforting smell of vanilla and wafts of lavender from his shampoo. never again will he hear the lisp that he loves so very much come out of his beautiful mouth, his intoxicating laugh, the way he says luhan's name. never again will he feel the familiarity of the metal of his braces on his tongue, the spot on his left collarbone from an accident that never quite healed right, never run his fingers through his ever changing colored hair. never again will luhan have sehun. luhan wants to drown himself in vodka until he has to have his stomach pumped. he wants to cry until he cries out all the water in his fragile little body. he wants to take a knife and slice his chest open just so he can pull his heart out, because god damn it anything would feel better than losing sehun. sehun broke luhan. he broke him in the most beautiful way. luhan doesn't need to look in a mirror to know he looks worse than he has ever looked before. he knows his already pale face is sunken in and as white as a sheet of paper. his eyes, normally so full of love, are red and swollen, showing luhan's true emotions, emptiness and despair. his wrists are red and on the edge of bleeding because of how hard luhan is scratching, trying to pull himself out of this nightmare that has become his reality, to distract himself from the pain of losing sehun. sehun broke luhan. luhan hopes sehun is happy with whoever he is with. (he so desperately wishes it was him.) he hopes sehun is loved. hopes he is appreciated like the angel that he is. hopes that the next person that sehun decides to love knows everything there is to know, like the fact that he sticks his tongue out when he does anything. that he cries over literally anything. that he loves being cuddled and loves his hair being played with, but if you mention it, he'll deny it. that he loves everyone so whole-heartedly, and he is literally the happiest person luhan has ever known. but most of all, to watch out. oh sehun will steal your heart, and when you're not looking, destroy it in the most gut-wrenching, tear-filled, catastrophic way: with a smile.

an:

this is pretty terrible, i wrote this at 3 am when i was very sad and i edited it and ugh.

please leave comments!

if anybody reads all the way to the end, i'm going to start taking requests for stories bc i can't think of any ideas, so if you have an idea for a story, tell me! my tumblr is @bbaciami and i'd love to write ur ideas!