“Is there ever gonna be a day when you won’t have a new bruise?”

The basketball team was sitting in the middle of the cafeteria, there like fishes in a bowl. The day had been overall uneventful; the social bees had already told all the buzz from last weekend and the plans for the following Friday night party were almost finalized. People usually loathe Mondays, but for SM High, the worst days were Wednesdays. The only way to bring the buzz back was seeing the star athletes strut their way to their socially assigned table. To be a star in SM High, you had to be athletic, locker-high tall, prince-like; someone who runs the hive. Someone like Oh Sehun.

That boy was tall and lean, but not the most muscular. His popularity rested on the fact that he was one of the best players on the basketball team, but also because of his good looks. He also had the reputation of the stoic-faced ice prince who rejected all kinds of dating. It didn't matter; people already predicted his win as Homecoming King of the class of 1988.

“Shut up! You know how clumsy I can be in practice. Just imagine me making myself a meal,” Sehun said to his teammate’s remark, regarding the many bruises and cuts on his hands and forearms.

“Every day?” The newest team player mentioned from the other end of the table. “Doesn’t your mother cook for you sometimes?”

A small wind rose as the many bodies around the table turned to face the newbie. Eyes were blown up wide, even lips mouthing ‘mind his own business’. Sehun shook his head at everyone's reactions, having expected it and finding it a little exaggerated. He went up behind the new kid — Chen was it? — and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“They’re just being stupid. It’s not that bad. I just don’t like talking about my mom’s death is all.”

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t —“

“It’s fine, really. Don’t worry about it.” He tightened his hold on the freshman to reassure him before letting go and sitting in his usual seat. Like always, the team’s shooting guard was quiet as could be, eating his homemade lunch. This one was the tallest member of the team, apart from Kris, the water boy. He had large ears and wide chocolate-brown eyes, but his sharp nose, wavy beach hair and toothy grin made him beautiful, much like a puppy. Like Sehun, his muscles weren’t very developed, but his long limbs advantaged him in games.

“Sup’ Channie. Sorry I didn’t make it for economics this morning, I had… stuff… Anything interesting happen?”

Chanyeol, or Channie, stopped midway in taking a bite out of his BLT sandwich to look up at who just spiked up a conversation. When seeing who it was, the corners of his mouth curled up slightly.

“Nothing really.”

“Ah, so the usual.” 

Sehun scoffed. He watched Chanyeol take small bites and chew, his focus weirdly drawn to the dirty yellow table. The star player didn’t understand why the boy, slightly younger but taller than him, always fidgeted around him. Sehun had never bullied him, or anyone for that matter. He was like a mother to his teammates, yet a queen bee, too. He did have the reputation of a player, but people admired him nonetheless. He was used to people fawning over him; yet, Park Chanyeol , his own teammate, never even dared to look him in the eye.

“Sehun!” He was pulled out of his thoughts when a classmate from his science class called out to him, running towards him. “Sehun! Thank god, I found you!”

“Hey, what’s up?”

“I need your notes for bio. You write them good and I didn’t study.” 

Sehun watched the other making grabbing motions while he, on the other hand, was thoroughly confused.

“Study? What are you talking about?”

“The exam? I didn’t remember until this morning, my girlfriend reminded me. Now gimme, ‘cause I can’t explain another failed test to my parents.”

At this, Sehun’s eyes doubled their size. He had completely forgotten. Even with everything going on in his life, he would never forget anything. Homework, assignments, tests: he would always keep things right. He knew what would happen if he didn’t, but now, he could only fear the worst. He dashed out of his seat, almost forgetting his bag, and ran out into the corridor leading to his locker. He didn’t speak or shout or swear. He just left.

“Does this mean I’m not gonna get your notes?” The fellow senior received a nice slap at the back of his head, followed by the laughs of many teenage boys. Through the loud noise of laughter, a worried glance was pointed at the door, wondering if he really had seen the voiceless scream in the usually empty eyes of his teammate.

 

He forgot. He couldn’t believe he forgot. As Sehun walked all the way to his house on Friday afternoon, his mind jumbled at the memory of lunchtime two days ago. His exam had already been graded and distributed back to the students. His hand went to rest on his backpack and her thought about the piece of paper resting in there, marked with a big red ‘F’. Maybe he wouldn’t ask. Maybe he wouldn't care, tonight. What were the chances?

When entering his home, he didn’t even bother looking in the direction of the living room. He was there for sure, probably surrounded with a few beer bottles and watching TV like every other day. That man never moved, except for a bathroom break or to get more beer.

The basketball player took off his sneakers as fast as he could before climbing up the stairs two by two and closing himself up in his room where his best friend waited. Beautiful mismatched eyes looked at him incredulously as he jumped onto the old ripped mattress. Before it could run away in fear of the movement, Sehun picked up the cat and balanced it in the air.

“Chocolate Chip… You know me better than anyone. I’m not a bad person am I? Nothing’s gonna happen, will it? ChoChi, look at me!”

The majestic calico cat was wrestling too much in his hold, so he put it down and it hid under the bed. So ungrateful.

He lay on his back, eyes looking for something empty to stare at, like the cracks on his ceiling or the patches of humidity stuck to it. He decided on the latter. Fridays weren’t usually this boring. There were multiple parties, sometimes there were evening games, or maybe even a movie night with the boys at their local theatre. Tonight, he rejected all of it. He had never felt so dejected, out of it. His test result was still on his mind, the consequences it would cause already creeping over his body like some sort of possession.

He shook his head. No. That man would probably stay stuck to the TV until the wee hours of the morning. It was nothing to worry about. Maybe a few drinks at the star quarterback’s house would help him forget about it after all. He stood up, not minding the small furry head slowly peeking out of the darkness, and directed himself towards the bathroom for a well-needed shower.

 

He couldn’t ask for worse. There, in front of Sehun’s eyes, was his red-covered exam paper held by the man he hated the most. He had just gotten out of the shower, a towel draped around his hips and another around his shoulders, when he saw his father coming out of his room, paper in hand.

“What is this?” The older man asked in a collected, but certainly not calm manner. Sehun didn’t want to answer. It wasn’t the first time he came back with a bad mark, but nothing like this.

“M-my test from… two days ago.” He almost whispered his answer.

“I ing know what it is, Sehun.” He almost snapped, but gathered himself. “What the is this?” He pointed at the mark on top of the copy, revealing the grade. Sehun couldn't look on straight, so he rather looked at the floor to speak.

“I’m sorry I forgot there was a test so I didn’t study and I thought I could manage it because I know the subject, but I guess I was wrong because I got that grade and I feel awful and I just forgot, I’m sorry.” He rambled on, grinding his teeth together to stop him from sobbing.

“You forgot?” The dirty old man uttered. His eyes slowly squinted, he was just about to crack. “Isn’t that just a bad excuse? You forget everything. You forgot to take the trash out yesterday, 3 days ago you forgot to make me dinner and butchered it when it was done.” He puffed out a laugh. “You forgot… are you your mother or something?”

Sehun’s head snapped up and looked at his father. He was closer to him than before, one hand tightened into a fist while the other still held on tightly to the paper.

“No! Dad, no! I’m not. I’m not her!” Maybe he was; he didn’t know. The only way to get out of this was to say what the man wanted to hear.

“Oh, I think you are. You forget things. You forget about your home. You forget about me. You start doing your own things and before I know it you’re asking for divorce and running off with a ing woman who you’ve been cheating on me with for the past five years!” He shouted the last part and slammed the papers on the ground before grabbing Sehun’s neck in a firm grip. He stood so close, the distinct aroma of alcohol and tobacco felt sickening. This man was wasted.

The old man didn’t care that his son was when he threw him on the ground. He shouted profanities, hitting his son from face to chest to arms. Still, Sehun just let him do as he pleased. He always did. He didn’t dare talk back or fight back. It would be over in a few seconds when his dad would snap out of it and apologize, maybe even pull a few tears and run back to the living room. However, this time was different. He didn’t stop. Sehun already had a black eye and his cheeks were swollen.

Maybe he was a bad son, he thought when consciousness slipped out of him. Maybe if he had been better to his father, things wouldn’t have gone this way. His dad was violent, always had been, even when his mother was still around. No wonder she left them. He would have, too. He did not know if he hated his mother for leaving. She felt dead to him, but he loved her. If only, maybe, she could have taken him with her. If only, maybe, he could have had love instead of bruises.

 

When Sehun woke up, he didn’t know where he was or what time it was. Everything hurt, he could barely move. When the blur had cleared from his vision, he tried to raise himself upright, one motion at a time. It started with one palm to the floor, then the other. Bending one knee up, planting one foot on the cold hard ground. The first push was hard, as he fell right back down. The second was stronger, for he settled into a sitting position before sliding forward and looking for a way to see himself. He wanted to see what that bastard had done to him.

There were multiple blue-black bruises all over his body, a black eye blown enough to close his lid almost completely, his mouth covered with dried-up blood and finger marks around his neck. The rage bubbled up every second he stared at what the man he dared call his father left on him.

In between his enraged thoughts, Sehun noticed the eerie, unusual silence in the house. There was no TV, no shouting, no intoxicated grunts. He looked at the old clock on the wall. 9:22 pm. The old man had probably ran out of the house when he realized the gravity of his actions, leaving his poor son out cold on the floor. It was better this way. Although, as much as he was hurting, he did get some sense beat into him.

“Like mom, huh?” Sehun thought to himself. “I’ll show you you’re wrong. I’m the complete opposite. I’ll show you.” He bit back a few tears that were threatening to fall, as he looked into the mirror. “I’m not weak.”

With one last push, he stood up. He was out of balance in the beginning, but he managed to walk all the way to his room and got dressed. Wearing a simple black tank top under his signature green and white varsity jacket, along with some tight black denims, Sehun wanted to look as y and attractive enough to distract others from his injuries. He cleaned the blood and applied some ointment, just to make sure things didn’t get infected. He looked pretty bad, but it didn’t matter for where he was going. If his father wanted to see him in action, there was only one place he could think of that fit all the requirements.

 

Sehun arrived at the quarterback’s house in record time. The minute he walked in, people gathered around the star basketball player. Drunken mumbles of worry would ask him if he was okay, if it hurt and who had done this to him.

“It’s okay. I just fell down the stairs at home. Clumsy as ever,” he said to them, always accompanied by that emotionless frown. He was indeed a sociable person, but these people were interfering with his plan. He wanted to get wasted right away, he wanted to forget now, but they were blocking the way to the alcohol table. He tried looking for an escape, but without success.

“Sehun.” The boy in question heard before a strong arm tugged pulled him out of the mess and into a less crowded area of the house. His rescuer then stopped and turned around to speak.

“What the hell happened, Sehun?”

“Channie? What are you doing here?”

“It’s a party.”

“Yeah but, you never come to these things.”

“You noticed?” Channie hadn’t thought the other noticed these things, or noticed him for a matter of fact. He quickly brushed away the growing blush on his cheeks. “That’s not the point here.” The taller reached for one of the blue, almost purple battle scar on the star’s face, but only hovered over it. He saw the finger marks around the neck, but decided not to comment. “What happened to you?”

“I fell down the stairs, no biggie.” He pushed the hand away. “Why do you care anyway?”

Silence lingered between them for a while. There was no answer from Channie, but anyone could see the care in his eyes and the worry he felt about the whole situation. Anyone but Sehun.

“Now if you’d let me go, I’ll enjoy myself tonight being wasted out of my mind. Thanks.”

Sehun pointed to Channie’s hand that still covered his forearm. The latter released him and watched his teammate walk towards bad decisions.

The rest of the night was a blur. He could only remember the taste of vodka, cheep wine, tequila and even that newly popular irish cream whiskey. He knew he had made out with a few girls. Many countless faces, yet none had been worthy of going home with him. Only, there was that one he remembered following all night. She was beautiful, he recalled. Other than making out with her in the closet, he felt the touch of her hand on his cheek, showing care. The constant worries of if she hurt him, if everything was alright. He remembered how she looked at him with her large eyes. It felt nice, he thought before passing out, and the rest turned to black for a second time that day.

 

Sehun woke up to the strong rays of light shining through his eyelids, head was pounding. He finally opened his eyes to face his regrets and the world. When his vision cleared, he looked around to realize he did not know where he was. This room was neat, painted a soft blue and black. There was quite the furniture, way more than what he had. He noticed a foot coming out of the blanket and traced it up to its owner. His eyes fell on a short haired beauty, back facing him. From his point of view, there couldn’t have been someone more perfect than this. He thought back to last night and how she was everything he asked for.

He realized he and she were . Linking the hints together, he figured what they had done. He didn’t remember the details, only that it felt good. He stared at the beautiful back and hair, wondering if he could ever get tired of it. He couldn’t wait until she woke up to formally and properly meet her. His eyes then caught the digital clock on the bedside table. 11:07 am. A Saturday. His dad. He was home by now.

Sehun stood up immediately, not wanting to imagine the look of his father when he would realize his absence. He would prove once and for all that yes, he was just like his mother. There was no point in revenge anymore. He gathered his clothes loitering the floor before bolting out of the bedroom. He made sure not to make too many sounds, for the girl probably still lived with her parents. He found the front door easily and got out slowly. He realized he knew the neighbourhood, having been there once before, but not remembering when or why. He knew the way to his house, and that was all he cared for at the moment.

The moment he walked through his front door he kneeled on the ground and hid his head in his palms and to the ground. He didn’t even wait for his dad to say anything, but he pleaded.

“I’m so sorry, I won’t do it again. I promise. I promise I’m nothing like her. I’m not a loser, I’m not a , I won’t forget anything anymore. I’m sorry, please don’t hit me!” 

Sehun looked up at the last sentence, wondering if his dad would accept his apology, but saw no one in front of of him.

There was no old man in the living room watching TV with beer bottles scattered on the carpet, or in his room sleeping the grief and anger away. The house was as empty as Sehun had left it. It wasn’t that he was worried, but it was completely out of the ordinary. His father had a recurring schedule of waisting his time and destroying his life. It just wasn’t right. Just as the questions kept pinging in Sehun’s mind, the doorbell rang and a loud knock was heard on the front door. He opened it to greet two large police officers standing on his porch.

“Excuse me, are you Oh Sehun , son of Oh SeoJun?”

“Yes, that’s me. What is —”

“I’m sorry to announce this, but your father was involved in a drunk driving accident last night. He was sent to St-Rose Hospital’s emergency this early morning.” Sehun was already shaking from the statement. “He fell in a coma after having gone into surgery. Other than his injuries, if I recall correctly from the doctor’s analysis, the state of his liver could be fatal.”

Sehun was on the edge of crying, but kept his facade the best he could until the men would leave and he was left on his own.

“Thank you, I’ll… I’ll go visit.” He tried closing the door, but one of the officers stopped it.

“Can I ask what happened, sir? Your face.”

“Nothing. I just fell down the… stairs.” He whispered the last part. After all the times he would stupidly lie about his bruises, trying to believe himself, he finally doubted everything.

“Okay, then. Have a good day, sir.”

At the click of the door, Sehun collapsed in loud sobs, cursing life and his miseries. Everything crashed down on him. Nothing he could do.

 

The weekend had passed, the nice weather left and the city was left in a dark ashy grey. Sehun had tried to distract himself, but with no success. He spent hours in his room, staring at the damp patches on his ceiling, Chocolate Chip tucked under his hand to receive pets.

Monday was hard to wake up to. He wanted to skip school, but didn’t want to ruin his perfect attendance. He needed at least one thing to stay sane. Leaving earlier than he usually would, he walked slowly but surely towards SM High. Once there, he wandered the empty corridors until the bell finally rang, announcing the beginning of class. Usually he would listen the teacher’s every word, but this time, he was lost in the grey outside world.

Came lunch, Sehun sat early at the basketball team’s table, deciding he wasn’t hungry. More and more people would join him, but he figured he did not care for talking today.

“Man, what’s got your in a bunch?” He heard someone say. “Did Friday night mess you up that much?” Sehun raised his head to see it was Baekhyun, Channie’s close friend, speaking to him.

“I don’t know, I’m just not feeling well.”

“That was a crazy night, though. You were gone almost all night. Making out with some chicks, weren’t ya?” Sehun forced out a puffed out laugh and a smirk.

“You bet I did. Got myself a nice night with one too.”

There was silence before laughs erupted at the table. Sehun was confused as to why his statement caused laughter.

“It’s true! I woke up next to her! We were both !”

“Okay, okay. Sehun, let me tell you what happened.” It was that Baek kid. “You did make out with some girls throughout the night, but the rest of the time you were stuck to Channie like glue! You wouldn’t leave his side for anything. At one point, you two disappeared just to reappear an hour later with him carrying your wasted to bring you back home. He took care of you, man.”

Sehun was the most confused. Everything he thought had happened was a lie. Things started to clear up. The beautiful face he had seen, the large, deep, compassionate chocolate brown eyes he loved to stare in, the ears he kept playing with. He was confused, but also angered and outraged. He tricked him. He —

“Hey, Sehun. I got your jacket. Here, you left it at my place.” Channie looked at Sehun with innocent eyes; the latter’s were full of fury.

“You er.”

 

It started with a fist in the jaw, then a knee in the gut. He had expected this, Channie thought. He never got to tell Sehun everything, because the latter left too early that morning. Channie let Sehun take everything out on him. He knew that things like these was how the older was raised and it was the only way he would be able to listen him afterwards.

“You’re such a piece of !” Sehun shouted. “You dare do that to me? Did you like it, ?” The punches came raining on Channie’s face. Blood dripped on the corner of his mouth.

“So that’s what you’re becoming…”

“What am I, huh? Who am I, Chanyeol? Tell me! Cause you know so much about me, of course you’d say something like that, huh? Well I’ll tell you what I’m not. I’m not a ! I’m not like you Chanyeol, someone that goes around screwing pitiful drunk guys who won’t have any ing memory about it the next morning!”

“Your father.”

“What the hell are you saying?” Chanyeol looked up to Sehun with nothing more than knowing eyes.

“I said,” Chanyeol added. “you’re becoming like your father.” Sehun slowly lowered his fist that was ready to throw another hit to Chanyeol’ jaw. The former’s eyes widened, but anger never left. Chanyeol placed a hand on Sehun’s fist, the one gripping his jacket. 

“Sehun… I know. I know.”

Sehun settled down. He felt strong arms grab him again, pulling him out of the rapidly crowding cafeteria. Channie led them to a place where they could finally talk. They stayed quiet for a while before Sehun spoke first, his eyes pointing downwards.

“How?” Channie was surprised by the question, not thinking he would speak up.

“I…” Channie hesitated. “I… always, sorta, kinda, knew something was wrong. I don’t know why. There was something in your eyes that cried out for help, ever since I met you. I never thought I’d figure out why, but I didn’t want to pry. So I waited for you to out yourself first.”

“I never wanted to.”

“I figured that out myself, trust me, but I still hoped. I should have approached you more, but I was scared. Scared that if I came closer, I wouldn’t be able to let go.” Sehun peeked and saw Chanyeol blushing like crazy with a nervous hand brush his nape. “I’ve liked you for a while, Sehun. I know you might doubt it, but I do.” He took the shorter’s hands in his own and the latter did not fight back. “That night we had together, you told me everything. You told me about your mom, you told me about your dad, you told me about your bruises. You told me about your secret.”

Sehun looked away, thinking he was doomed now. Channie would go around telling everyone about his true feelings. He would be the laugh of the school, get kicked out of the team, maybe people would even sign a petition for him to get expelled. Maybe —

“It’s okay to like boys too, Sehun. I know you’re afraid of your dad, but it’s okay. You don’t have to lie anymore.”

Right then, a thousand bricks were lifted of of his shoulders. It felt like it was what he had waited so long to hear. ‘You don’t have to lie.’ Sehun smiled at the younger boy, thinking about how he let himself be lectured by someone younger than him. He leaned forward to settle into the taller’s arms, a warmth he had longed for every since his mother had left him.

“Will you guide me through it, then?”

“Every step of the way.” Channie hugged him back. “Don’t worry, I’ll heal your bruises.”