"Goo Junhoe-sshi, you are becoming the husband of Park Chaeyoung-sshi. Do you promise to love and respect her, protect her, in joyful times and hard times, in sickness and in health?"

"Yes."

"Park Chaeyoung-sshi, you are becoming the wife of Goo Junhoe-sshi. Do you promise to love and respect him, protect him, in joyful times and hard times, in sickness and in health?"

"Yes."

As the two lovely couple exchanged their vows, it took Jisoo to her own wedding day, back when everything was so innocent and perfect at the same time.

"Kim Jiwon, you are the better half of my life. You will be the bringer of joy in the house, the reason behind my smiles, and everything in between. You will be the father to our future children, and just like what I've seen with our friends' children, I know you'll love them, just as much as I know I'll love them with all my heart. I cannot ask for more. You are everything to me. There will be no promises made. Just the thought that our love exists will be enough."

Those times made her recall how much of a fool she was for thinking that love was only needed to survive. Marriage wasn't about creating the perfect fairytale. As she grew wiser, she realized it was about the journey.

Jisoo looked at the man beside her. Jiwon's eyes held an unknown intensity as he watched the affair. Maybe he was lost in his own thoughts as well. Stuck in the past, playing in reverse.

It hurt. It would always hurt. Maybe love wasn't enough to numb the pain. Maybe it wasn't the answer to every mysteries in life. It certainly wasn't the only answer to forgive and to forget.

However, at the back of her mind, she knew something else.

There will be no other man you'll love like this. And even among the countless pain and suffering, you know he will be the only one living inside your heart.

Maybe love wasn't the answer to everything. But for now, maybe it was.

"Where are we going?" Jiwon found the strength to ask after a long silence settling between them.

"You'll see," was Jisoo's brief reply.

He uneasily looked at his wife behind the wheel. He opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it tight.

Finding it useless, he settled on looking out of the window. The tall, enormous buildings faded into sceneries of greens, the three lane roads into one. The surroundings settled into a quaint, peaceful one, away from the hustle and bustle of the city, away from the people moving as if time was chasing after them. The soft hum of the engine and the occasional whizz of cars passing by were the only things considered as sound. Jisoo didn't even bother to turn the radio on. It left an unsettling thick silence, as if a knife could cut through it.

Jiwon closed his eyes for a moment to let them rest. The tight clasp of the tie around his neck suffocated him so he brought his thumb and index finger at the knot to tug it down a little.

When he opened his eyes, he wondered if he was out long enough since he couldn't believe what he was seeing right now. Jiwon adjusted his sitting position at the sight of the familiar neighborhood. No one prepared him for this.

Both of their dreams were built in this little town. He remembered how they came here full of exuberance, only to leave with crushed hearts.

"Jisoo," he muttered, almost out of breath.

She didn't say anything to explain herself.

The car turned into their old street, the sidewalk full of low and run-down bungalow houses that seemed to be glued to each other. Numerous electricity wires hung low on top of them. Laundries and colorful drums were positioned in front of their doorsteps. Some of the neighborhood ahjummas gathered in a low table making kimchi in big bowls, probably gossiping and laughing among themselves.

The one-way road seemed steeper as it went up in a hill. The children playing in the streets cramped them, causing Jisoo to slow down.

Then he finally saw it. The orange brick wall opposite of it, the persimmon tree, the small convenience store beside... it was their old apartment.

Jiwon thought that his wife would stop the car, but she didn't as she passed by without a single glance. Without knowing it, he breathed deeply, as if the air on his lungs didn't constrict him like barbed wires puncturing through his heart. His wife would've seen it as a safe haven, but for him, the place only held painful memories.

Jisoo continued to drive through the neighborhood, until the congested street gave way to a spacious one. Once again, the scenery was back on the green part of the town, hectares of forest trees surrounding both sides. Modern civilization seemed to catch up with them since the once bumpy road was smoothed out with asphalt.

After driving for quite some time, the car entered a place with iron-wrought gates, a place full of people's mourning. The cemetery.

"We're here." Her tone was silent, yet held so much emotion.

They both unbuckled their seatbelts and went out of the car. Without waiting to see if Jiwon followed, she proceeded to walk inside. He trailed after her, keeping a polite distance between them.

Looking at the cemetery in the distance, the gray tombstones formed crisscross shapes, the accuracy of details somehow making him dizzy. The cloudy skies reflected its gray hues on the ground. The grass, its color contrasting the dull ones of the place, scrunched softly beneath their footsteps as their feet led them to where they had to be.

After some time, the two of them stopped. A tombstone stood erect in front of them. His wife opened her bag and brought out a pink rose, one that Jiwon recognized from the wedding, and placed it on top of the tombstone. His sight lingered on the flower for a moment, studying the light brown edges on the petals and its wilting state. It must've been like that when she kept it in her bag for so long.

He drifted his eyes to Jisoo's figure who smoothed out her skirt from the back and sat on the grass, tucking the fabric behind. He couldn't help but read the epigraph again as she was sitting in front of it.

In Loving Memory of 
Kim Yeun
November 6, 2021
A Little Soul Takes Wings

Jiwon felt a lump in his throat. Quickly disregarding it, he shoved a hand on one of his pockets.

"There's this word I've grown to love these days," she muttered silently, breaking the silence. "It's what mothers say to their kids, or what lovers say in exchange of I love you's. It means one's wish to be buried before their loved ones as life will not be worth living without them."

"Ya'aburnee," she said in a whisper. "The meaning behind the word is beautiful, don't you think so? It reminds me so much of her."

Slowly, Jisoo smiled, one that finally reached up to her eyes. She stood up and wrapped her arms tight around his neck, her stance taller from the heels she wore.

"I'm sorry. I love you so much," she whispered, more to herself rather than to him.

It was enough for his eyes to mist, the lump in his throat back to mess with him. He couldn't say anything, afraid that it would just result with gibberish words. He wondered what he did to deserve her forgiveness.

Those thoughts went forgotten as her body paled against his. Through her warmth, he realized he missed everything about her. Then slowly, as if regaining his strength, his hands found its way around her back, pulling her body close to him, not letting her go any further as if afraid she'd disappear in his arms.

Jiwon shut his eyes tight and savored this very moment. It was something he wouldn't forget for the rest of his life. Ever.

It felt surreal, almost like a dream. They were back on their house again, trying to put the pieces back together to where they belonged.

When Jiwon entered their bedroom, Jisoo was already on her side of the bed, her back turned, facing the window. The lampshade was on, giving the room a warm, orange glow. As if walking on thin ice, he stepped forward, hesitating if what he was about to do was acceptable. However, her request flashed in her mind.

"Please don't let me sleep alone at night."

Jiwon slid under the covers, his movement minimal to avoid waking his wife up. He glanced at the figure beside him. It must've been the days that passed without her by his side that her very presence felt so unfamiliar yet home at the same time. It led him to wonder, was she feeling it too?

His sight drifted towards the ceiling. He knew this night would pass by without him getting any sleep. Afraid that if he did, it would all pass like a dream.

After some time or so, Jisoo turned around, facing him. It surprised him that she was still awake. She adjusted herself to a more comfortable position, tucking her clasped hands under her head. Her eyes seemed to glisten under the dim light. When he looked close enough, he realized that it was tears.

"...Jiwon, am I... undesirable enough? Is there something wrong with me? Am I... do you think I'm not pretty anymore?"

He shushed her, his hands sweeping gently across her face to tuck strands of her hair behind her ear. He never wanted her to feel like this.

"Jisoo..." he called in a comforting manner. "Just like what I told you when I married you, you'll always be pretty, even if there are wrinkles on your face."

She let out a little laugh, letting some tears fall from her eyes.

"I always cry. I'm ugly, aren't I?"

He shushed her again. The sheets rustled as he heaved himself up, propping his right arm on her left side. As their eyes met, he showed her how much he was sincere. "You're always beautiful in my eyes."

She held his gaze, her lips slightly parting. His eyes went to her luscious lips, seemingly tempting him to do something about it. When her eyes shined like stars he would always see on a beautiful night, he knew she was thinking the same thing. Without a moment's hesitation, he leaned forward and captured her lips with his.

During that moment, he confirmed that everything was real, that this wasn't just a dream. If it was, why did her lips feel so alive?

A familiar spark ignited within him. Letting his desire take him further, he brought his hands up to hers, his fingers gently caressing every curve of her face; until it went down to trace the outline of her body.

At the back of his mind, fear resided. He half-expected her to push him away. Her positive response with his touches would help dissipate that.

When he pulled away, they were both panting. Sense came back to him, realizing then that his thumb and index finger were playfully fiddling with the hem of her sleeveless shirt. Her eyes were inviting, and she didn't make a move to remove his hand either.

As if on cue, he plunged his lips towards her again, this time, the approach more passionate. Her hands that were clinging tightly on his shirt found its way around his nape, the space between them disappearing again.

The corner of his mouth curled into a smile. He was sure the movement was felt against her lips as she smiled too.

As the night grew deeper, the two found their way towards each other again. From this day onwards, he knew they would open a new chapter of their lives, finally leaving everything behind.

-to be continued-