No, it was real Tae was blowing his phone up with sorry’s and Jungkook still hadn’t said anything to him. ‘Best friends’ he thought bitterly before walking into the bathroom staring into the mirror touching his face slightly ‘ugly…’ he thought why’d he have to be this way, maybe if he was better Tae would have actually loved him in the end everything came down to looks and clearly Jungkook won in that department. Hoseok slowly opened the cabinet looking at Yoongi’s old prescribed meds, he reached out for one of the bottles but he was a coward he couldn’t do it. Hoseok shook his head cursing himself under his breath, he slowly stripped and walked into the shower turning the water to the coldest setting. When the shower water hit his back his breath hitched but he bared with it until he finished showering, this went on for a few weeks until he got used to it the water probably froze his heart, mind, and body. Hoseok had shutted his phone down getting tired of seeing Tae’s messages, Yoongi and Jimin knew something was wrong with Hoseok he’d barely smile and when he did it was fake, and cold. The next day before showering Hoseok looked into the mirror again smiling calmly before he opened the mirror and pulled out a bottle of Yoongi’s old meds, he popped the lid off and downed the pills before he could second guess himself. He walked out of the bathroom looking as pale as Yoongi maybe even paler worrying Yoongi immensely, Yoongi rushed over when Hoseok held his stomach and fell slightly and took him to the bathroom watching him throw up.

“Hoseok what have you done to yourself?” Yoongi asked before patting the others back and flushing the toilet not able to stand the smell, Hoseok only smiled when he replied.

“I’m doing what i should have done long ago…” Hoseok stated before shakily getting back and heading into his room leaving a confused and worried Yoongi. He tried to follow but noticed the door was locked.

“Hoseok open this ing door right now or so help me i’ll break it down!” Yoongi yelled only hearing Hoseok laugh before ramming himself into the door, as a worried Jimin ran over to help until they opened the door seeing the bloody mess Hoseok was with pills surrounding him.

“Hyung...why wasn’t I enough...why am I never enough?” Hoseok ask