He already gone. I can't believe this. I talked with him? I'm talking to stranger? Am I seriously? Oh no. I'm shaking. Did- did he saw my face? Stupid! Of course he does. 

Why do I have this feeling? Is it normal? 

My bus come in time. I get up from my seat and get into the bus. I stared through the window while thinking about Minho. He really want to be my friend but I couldn't accept him easily. I'm afraid. 

I just arrived at my work place. WH's Cafe. I worked here for almost 1 year. So far, I didn't get any trouble here and I felt comfortable. 

"Oh, Jonghyun! Could you help me? There are customers there please take their orders." and that is my workmate. Taeun. 

I went to the counter and take their orders. I gave their meals and thats it. Thats the only thing I does for a several months for money. I do it for living. By my own. Wh's cafe got a library so that is my work to arranged the books so it will look more interesting and neat. 

I love books. I love reading. I love words. Somehow, I want to be a writer. Maybe one day. Most of my time here I spent it in the library with all these books. I felt, calm. The only thing I need is calm. 

"Jonghyun...." 

I looked up to Taeun that holding a few of books. I took from her and put it in the shelf. 

"That books was just arrived. You can read it if you want. We don't have so much customer today so you can get a rest."

"That's mean I can go home early?" I asked Taeun.

"Well, if you want to" 

"Thanks, Tae." 

I don't feel like to read today so I'm going listen to the music. I put in my earphone and increased the volume up. 

Np: Lonely by 2NE1

I miss them. If only I could turn back time I want to live with these era of kpop. Oh, I just remember Minho suggested me a song. I'm going to listen it now. 

'B...ad... Bo..y' right?

I staring to the shelf infront of me. Minho.... Why do I keep thinking about him? Well, he looks like he care about me. Did he really care? I'm scared. 

Oh, next song, Blue. This is my favourite.

•••

"See you tomorrow, Jonghyun!" Taeun waved at me. I waved at her back and she went back to the cafe. I asked her permission to come home early since I need catch up with my sleep schedule. I looked at the watch. 2148. I need to go home. 

Luckily, the bus arrived on time. I sit in and look at the night scenery outside. Beautiful. Once again, I feel calm. 

The bus stopped infront of the bus stop station that I always wait together with Minho every morning. We will meet again tomorrow. I walked to my house and take out my keys. 

"I'm home." said me to no one in the house. Yes, I lived alone. For 2 years straight. I lived alone. 

I forget to get a dinner tonight. Looks like I need to skip my dinner again tonight. I don't feel hungry at all. I took off my shirt and pants. And went straight to the bathroom and take a quick shower. 

I wear my boxer and tank top and get ready to sleep. 

"Goodnight." I turn off the lamp beside me.

•••

"NO ONE WANT TO BE FRIEND WITH A MURDERER!"

"HE KILLED HIS PARENTS!"

"MURDERER!"

"you should kill yourself!" 

"Shame of you!"

•••

"NO!" I shouted.

I...

It was a dream. Same dream. Again and again. 

I can't take this anymore. I can't take this anymore.

This is all my fault. 

The tears fall down. I'm weak. I'm not strong enough to face this alone. 

I need you.