The Reason

It has been 2 years since Mina left South Korea. She didn’t wish to return but her dad will be teaching at the prestigious Seoul University this coming winter and he gave her no choice but to follow along. This is the moment she dreaded the most. The reason why she left for the states was to be away from this place but now she has to return. Being in Korea is suffocating her. When she opted to return to her homeland Japan, her father refused because her grandmother is no longer around to look out for her. After still not knowing why she left Korea 2 years back, her family decided she was not mature enough to live on her own or even with Sana’s parents.

It has been 2 weeks since her family moved here. Not once did Mina leave the house. She contemplated if she should call Sana. She worry if Sana would not be able to keep a secret. Mina wouldn’t want to put Sana in a dilemma. Sana and Junmyeon has been dating for about 1 year and a half. When Sana informed Mina about it, she was genuinely happy for her friend but she do not wish to know more because after all Junmyeon’s good friend is none other than Mina’s ex-best friend, Kyungsoo. The boy who was or still is in her heart. Technically Kyungsoo didn’t do anything wrong. Mina’s heart broke when she found out that he dated a girl whom she didn’t know about while all the while assuming that she and Kyungsoo were exclusive to each other. When she reminisce the moment about that fateful day, Mina will always cry.

Flashback

DO: Mina ya… where are you? (He asked enthusiastically.)

MN: I am at the studio. I have ballet as always. What is wrong? Why are you panting?

DO: I need to tell you something. I have done much thinking.

MN: What is it?

DO: I have to tell you this face to face. I’ll drop by your place after dinner.

MN: Oh ok… See you later. (Mina answered softly as she blushes.)

MM: Kyungsoo?

Mina nodded.

SN: OMG… Do you think he is ready to ask you out?

MN: I don’t know, I really hope so.

MM: It is about time…You guys have been super close since like what 3 years back… He finally has the gut to confess. Good luck chinggu!

That autumn night was chilly but still nice enough to hang out at Sana’s front yard. Soon enough, Mina smiled at the sight of Kyungsoo.

MN: You’re here.

Kyungsoo came close and sat just beside her. Mina pretended to look at the beautiful moon.

DO: I like you… No … I love you….

Mina couldn’t help but smile as she heard those words. She took a deep breath before answering.

MN: I like you too…. No…I love you too….

DO: Gurei! I hope she would gave me that answer.

Mina’s heart stopped for a second. Her defense mechanism suddenly up a 100%.

MN: So, who is the ‘she’? You managed to keep a secret from you me, you best friend huh! (She attempted to to rid her aching pain.)

DO: Just someone from school… Hyeri… You know her, right?

MN: Hyeri the cheerleader?

DO: Uhmm…Sehun’s girlfriend, Yura introduced me to her 2 weeks back. Everything went on so fast. I didn’t have the time to tell you.

MN: Ani…. Don’t worry. I understand. I am happy for you.

Kyungsoo quickly embraces Mina before excusing himself because he wants to meet Hyeri to confess. Mina waved and ushered him with a short cheer and well-wishes. When Kyungsoo’s back finally disappeared from her vision, Mina weakened leg gave way and she fell to the ground crying. Sana who was peeping earlier on sensed something wrong and as she stepped out to her front yard, she could here Mina’s heart wrenching sob. Sana quickly pull Mina into a tight hug as she tried her best to soothe the girl’s crying.

Only her girls excluding Chaeyoung and Tzuyu knew what was going on. They were too young and secondly, how do you tell Chaeng that her brother broke Mina’s heart. The following weeks passed through like a chaos. Mina’s forever smiling and laughing. Although now, Kyungsoo seems too busy to even chit chat with her, Mina understood her place.

The evening that made her decided to leave eventually appeared.

DO: Mina yah… (He calls out her name softly.)

MN: Uhmm…

DO: When was the last we hang out together?

MN: When you told me about your feelings towards Hyeri.

DO: Ah… that would be close to 2 months huh.

MN: I guess so….

Kyungsoo sigh.

MN: What’s wrong? I know something is wrong!

DO: You know me well …

MN: So….

DO: I am sorry…. I told Hyeri a white lie. I really didn’t mean to but I had to use your name.

MN: I don’t understand. What are you trying to say?

DO: Hyeri felt uncomfortable with our friendship. (He finally fessed up.)

MN: Oh…

DO: So, I lied that you are attached.

MN: Me?

DO: I am so so so so so sorry. But it my head all I want is to make sure Hyeri doesn’t get hurt by our friendship. I am really sorry.

Mina couldn’t process what she was hearing. She was learning to slowly give up her feelings for him and treat him like any how any best friend would. However, seeing how easily it was for him to not consider her feelings at all, Mina knew she has lost a dear friend.

DO: Mina ya… Mina…. (He tried to snap her out of her trance.)

MN: Uhm…

DO: Please don’t be angry…

MN: I am not…

DO: You’re not? When I suggested this to Xiumin hyung, he told me I was crazy and that you would hate me.

MN: He did… So now who am I technically attached to?

DO: Xiumin hyung…

MN: Ah… that’s fine.... It’s just, that right?

DO: Err….

MN: What else? (She asked but this time frowning.)

DO: Hyeri wants to go on a double date. So, I agreed on behalf of everyone.

By now, Mina is already trying her best to control her tears but now she is angry. However, Mina being Mina, the date went well. Well enough to other people’s eyes. During that trying time, Mina managed to convince her dad to let her go to the states and study in a high school near his work place. It wasn’t easy for her to make such decision but Mina gave up, she has no courage to brave it so between fight or flight, she definitely chose the latter. When she finally told the girls that she would be leaving the country, Sana was devastated. Nayeon got angry in the beginning but being the unnie, she understood the reason. Jihyo couldn’t help but cry and cry.

At the airport, Chaeng and Tzuyu sobbed like babies. Why wouldn’t they? These two girls only found out about Mina leaving on the day itself. And they still didn’t know what was the reason.

CYG: Unnie, does oppa know you are leaving?

MN: I wanted to tell him since a couple weeks back. However, he must be busy with classes. So, we didn’t get to meet.

CYG: Ya, too busy hanging with his needy and clingy girlfriend. I should call him.

MN: Ani Chaeng… It is not like he could make it here on time. Anyway, can you do me a favour, could you pass this card to him? I would appreciate if you could help me.

CYG: Anything for you unnie…

Mina wiped her tears away as she recalls the pain. Although it has been 2 years, Mina still don’t know how to deal with the pain. She wishes to forget but she can’t seem to be doing that. It hurts too much. However, she braved herself as she dialed Sana’s number.

What happened?

Kyungsoo dropped his bag on the floor before landing on the bed. He was tired. College was fun but exhausting. He looked up the ceiling and stare at a picture of him and his friends. He smiles as he saw the sweet hug between Sana and Junmyeon, the cheeky cheek to cheek couple Nayeon and Chanyeol, Tzuyu and his sister Chaeng who was acting silly, Momo who was seated on Yixing’s lap, Xiumin hyung, Jongdae, Sehun, Kai and Krystal acting all chic and finally her face, Myoui Mina who was squirming to get away from Kyungsoo’s tickling. It was too late for him to stop his tears from trickling down.

It would be a lie to say that he didn’t feel that Mina’s reason for leaving somehow has got something to do with him. Although no one blamed him, he could feel it. He tried to shake off those weird thoughts and feelings but no, nothing could drive away what he sees whether his eyes are open or closed. He took out his phone like every night, and scroll down to her pictures or should he say, their pictures together. He still remembered roughly half a year after Mina has left, Hyeri finally had it with him. She hates it when al he talk about was Mina.

When his fellow brother told him that he has been in love with Mina all this while, he refused to acknowledge it. However now, nothing seems to be clear. He doesn’t know where to begin to find her. She has deleted all her social media account. Kyungsoo wondered if it was because of him.

Something

Sana, Nayeon and Jihyo nervously waited for Mina at the café. When Mina entered the café, the girls break into their small sobs. Sana reached out to hug Mina.

SN: You bad girl, you said you will keep in contact but a few months after you left, we could no longer contact you. How could you?

MN: Mianhe….

Nayeon tucked Mina’s beautiful lock behind her ears.

NY: Do you know how much I miss you?

JHO: The rest misses you too. When will you see them?

MN: Soon… Let me settle down for a few moments. I just came back.

The girls managed to catch up with plenty of laughter and tears. Although she managed to get the girls to keep mum for the time being, she did promise the girls to come to Chaeyoung’s birthday party. She was nervous just by the thought of it.

The day has finally come. Mina was nervous, honestly she was ready 2 hours ago but her feet just wouldn’t move. She didn’t answer the calls from Sana. Sana slumped on the seat, Junmyeon who was observing from a while back, wrapped his hand around her wrist gently and pull her away towards the toilet.

SHO: My dear princess, what is wrong with you today?

SN: She promised me. How could she do this?

SHO: Promise?

SN: She said she misses us all. She said she misses Chaeng and would be here for Chaeng’s first birthday celebration at a club but once again, she became elusive. (She whines before breaking down in tears.)

Suho finally understood what she meant. He pulled Sana into his arms while rubbing her back to stop her from crying. Kyungsoo was just about to exit the toilet when he saw Sana crying into Junmyeon’s arm. He was just about to ask them what was the issue but the couple’s conversation stopped him in his track.

SHO: Mina’s back? (He asked gently.)

SN: Uhmm… she promised she will come tonight. She promised me.

SHO: Arra… since when was she back?

SN: Since a month ago.

SHO: Oh my dear woman, how do you even managed to hide it from me?

Kyungsoo was taken aback when he heard her name. His heart rate accelerated. He took a couple of moments to calm himself before joining the rest. He pretended to be cool but somewhere deep in his heart, he hopes she turned up. He could see a couple of the girls visibly trying to cheer themselves up especially Sana. Although Chaeng was excitedly dancing with Jongdae, Kyungsoo wondered how awkward it will be. An hour of waiting turn into two. Everyone was just gathering around the seat catching up with each other feeling a little sullen when Chaeng began reminiscing the past.

CYG: I miss Mina unnie. I really do… (She said softly before drinking a shot of vodka.)

No ONE responded, not until a soft gentle familiar voice chimed in the conversation.

MN: I miss you too Chaeng. I miss you so much.

Everyone immediate turned to the voice. The girls were the first to start crying. Chaeyoung ran up to Mina and quickly gave her a hug or more like a squeeze.

CYG: I am not dreaming am I?

MN: Ani… I am here Chaeng.

The girls took their turn before the first big brother of the group came over to hug her.

XM: Aigoo Minari…. Bogoshipo…

MN: Oppa Anyeong…

When it was time to face Kyungsoo, Mina flash a gentle smile and wave to the blur looking Kyungsoo. She gave a small wave in front of his face and startled him for a second.

MN: Kyungsoo ah…

DO: You are back. (He finally mustered up something to say.)

Mina nodded and averted her gaze and conversation to the rest. Everyone knew not to ask of her where about these past 2 year. Throughout the whole night, Kyungsoo barely said anything. All he could do was just admire the smile that he misses. Mina could see from the corner of her eyes that he was staring at her but she brushed off the idea. She knew he must have a thousand and one question to ask her.

After making plans for a short vacation in Jeju island, the group sooner or later has to head back home. Mina was cracking her brain. She wanted to leave first so that no one will offer to send her back but she couldn’t find a reason to leave.

At the entrance of the club, Sana who was happily drunk insisted that Junmyeon will send her home as well. Junmyeon didn’t mind but he knew Kyungsoo wanted to spend some time with the girl.

MN: Gwencana, I will get a cab home. See you soon Junmyeon oppa.

Mina turned to see Kyungsoo gone. She sigh a huge relieve but felt a little disappointed too for some strange reason. Before she could flag a cab, a white BMW stopped right in front of her. Kyungsoo unwind the window.

DO: Get in, I’ll send you home.

MN: It is okay… I will make my own way home.

DO: Minari… (He called out to her tenderly while giving her a pout she couldn’t resist and praying she would still give in to his pout after all these years.)

MN: Arra… (Mina entered the car and put on her seat belt.)

The first ten minute after ascertaining her address was pretty much silent. Mina crossed her fingers hoping he wouldn’t ask her much questions. Mina was thankful when her house was in sight.

MN: Gomawo Kyungsoo ah… I will see you around.

Kyungsoo wanted to say something but he just couldn’t ask her. He nodded and wished her good night before unlocking his car, He has a lot of questions for her but he wasn’t sure it is the right time to ask her. What if she leaves him again? He drove home feeling frustrated. He wants or more so like he needs answers to all the questions in his head.

Tell Me Please

It has been 4 days since Kyungsoo saw Mina. He could no longer wait. He wants to see her, he wants to talk to her and he wants to be by her side laughing like he used to. He decided to ask Chaeyoung.

DO: Chaeng… (He calls out to his sister affectionately as he enters her room.)

CYG: Uhm….

DO: You don’t have a date with Jongdae today?

CYG: Nope, I went for a movie with Sana and Mina unnie just now. Just us girls.

Kyungsoo settled on his sister’s bed and lie down beside her.

DO: Chaeng… Did Mina ask anything about me?

CYG: Ani..wei?

DO: Not even ask about how I was doing?

CYG: Nope…

DO: Is she seeing anyone?

CYG: Nope… Why are you so curious? Weren’t you guys best friend in the past? Go ask her yourself.

DO: Speaking of that, can I have her number?

Chaeyoung quickly gave Mina’s number hoping her brother would stop annoying her. As he sat on his bed, he contemplated if he should text her but for some reason he was afraid she wouldn’t want to see him.

‘Are you asleep. It’s me Kyungsoo.’

Mina who was just lying on her bed was alarmed to see his message appearing on her phone.

‘Not yet. Why?’

Mina waited for a reply but none came. Then suddenly her phone rang. She took a deep breath before answering.

MN: Yobseyo…

DO: Sorry for disturbing you…

MN: Gwencana?

DO: Yes… Do you want to hang out tomorrow?

MN: Just me and you?

DO: Uhuh…like old times.

MN: What do you want to do?

DO: Just chill…. Why don’t you come to my place.

MN: Good Idea… it would be nice to hang out with Chaeng too.

Kyungsoo was disappointed to hear that and couldn’t help but tell a white lie.

DO: She should be home too. So, tomorrow lunch time, about 12pm, arraso?

MN: Uhmm… (Mina was glad to hear that Chaeng would be home.)

Although, she knew the purpose of going to his place was to just chill and catch up but she couldn’t help it. She has been staring at her wardrobe for quite some time wondering what to wear. It is not like she has to impress someone but she wants to look presentable.

She went to the florist to get a bouquet of calla lily for Chaeng and Garrets popcorn for Kyungsoo. Every step she takes to his place is driving her crazy.

‘It’s going to be okay. We’ll just pick up from where we left. I am sure everything will work out fine on its own.’

She tries to convince herself.

Back at home, Kyungsoo had to bribe Chaeng with a $100 to chase her out.

MN: Anyeong Kyungsoo ah… (She greeted him chirpily when he opens the door.)

DO: Come in… (He invited her in.)

Mina took a look around and noticed some interior changes which looks very Japanese Zen like.

MN: Your parents renovated the place?

DO: Just a little here and there. Take a seat… Is coke okay?

MN: Sure… why not.

Mina and Kyungsoo’s head immediately turn to the stairs when they hear Chaeng hastily came down.

CYG: Mina unnie… you’re here.

MN: Uhuh… you’re all dressed up. Where are you going? (She asked feeling nervous as though she felt she will be left alone with Kyungsoo.)

CYG: Mianhe oppa and unnie. Jong’s lecture got cancelled and since we have not been on a date since my birthday party, he thought it would be good if we could spend some time together. You wouldn’t mind right unnie? (Chaeyoung pleaded sweetly.)

MN: Ani… why would I? (She attempts to hide her nerves.)

Chaeyoung gave a sweet kiss to Mina and Kyungsoo. Before she exits the door, she playfully teases them.

CYG: Both of you better behave!

Mina wrecked her brain thinking of what to do or say. When she saw the XBOX, she smiles.

MN: Soo ah… Let’s race! (She as she raises the 2-game controller. Little did she realized, she uses the endearment that they once used.)

DO: Ara… It’s been so long since you called my name like that.

Mina was taken aback. For a moment, she forgot the reason why she left Korea. She gave him a faint smile before her eyes glued back to the television. Kyungsoo noticed the change when he commented on her calling him using an endearment, and he wondered if it is the right time to ask. Mina on the other hand can feel that he wants to ask questions.

After about 2 rounds of playing with silence, Kyungsoo held up the remote and switch off the television.

DO: We need to talk.

MN: I need the toilet. (She rebutted before making her way to the toilet.)

She knew she couldn’t hide any longer. She knew at some point, she has to answer his questions but she didn’t know it would be that soon. Kyungsoo was right in front of her when she opens the toilet door.

MN: Ya Kamchiagia….

Kyungsoo held her wrist as he pulls her softly to his room. When he opened the door, Mina realizes that there were not much changes. As she inhales his smell in the room, she began to feel nostalgic. She wanted to take a step back and run away from him but his held on her wrist was stronger. Mina convince herself not to cry. She pretended that she was fine and started looking at the pictures on the wall and ceiling. Her heart misses the old ‘them’.

MN: You still keep all the pictures. (She said softly as she turns to look at Kyungsoo who was leaning against his door guarding it as if she will run away.)

DO: There is no reason to throw away all these pleasant memories.

MN: I guess… (Those were the only words she could think of at that moment.)

DO: You know some people actually value memories and friendship. (He suddenly responded sarcastically.)

Mina could already predict what is about to come. She kept quiet in order to control her feelings.

DO: Right? Don’t you think so Mina ah?

MN: Well … if you put it that way of course I agree. Some people seem to forget about their closest friends.

DO: Forget?

MN: You know… they may be right in front of you but some people are ignorant and blind to the hurt that their friends went through. (She responded cynically with the newfound courage.)

DO: Well sometimes, when friends keep secrets and hide things, how do they expect others to understand. (He defended his ‘theory’ knowing very well and understanding well enough that it is true that she left because of him.)

MN: Sometimes friends… even after knowing them for so long actually become strangers. Why? Because they stopped caring. So, I guess some friends realizes there is no point in working hard for a friendship when only one party bothers about it. (She bitterly recalls and spell it out for him as she took a seat at the corner of his bed looking through an old photo album of them.)

DO: What makes that friend so sure that the friend no longer cares?

MN: Well Kyungsoo ah… when a friend stop noticing that their actions and words hurt another friend repeatedly, doesn’t even remember when was the last they met, literally omit a friend’s presence to take care of a new lover’s heart…. Were some examples … good examples and reasons to stop caring and leave. (She responded calmly although she sounded like she was about to cry.)

DO: If that person considered themselves a s friends, why wouldn’t they say it straight up to their face?

MN: Doesn’t that friend has a heart? Does everything need to be spelt out?

DO: I don’t know what else to say. (He responded feeling a little lost.)

MN: Well if everything is in the past, they should just leave it as that. Some things are better left unspoken.

DO: Like our feelings for each other? (He finally started questioning.)

Mina was speechless. She has no comeback for his words.

DO: Answer me… (He pleaded softly.)

MN: You are so funny … (Mina began laughing randomly startling the guy.)

DO: Don’t pretend to not understand my question. Did you leave because of me?

MN: Huh… that is ridiculous.

DO: Have you ever like me more than just a friend?

MN: NO! Never!

DO: Is that the truth?

MN: You were my best friend. You tell me. Do you think I ever had feelings for you?

DO: I don’t know.

MN: Kyungsoo ah… why does my answer matters? It shouldn’t. Nothing you say will change the past.

DO: I need to know.

MN: Kyungsoo ah… stop talking about this or I am going to get angry at you.

DO: And what? You are going to run away again. (He blurted out without much thought.)

Mina immediately closed the photo album and stared at him.

DO: Why are you all quiet now?

MN: Those words are too much. You have crossed the line Kyungsoo.

DO: What line? Who set those lines? How many lines have you crossed when you left me for 2 years? (He raised his voice at her not realizing that she looks like she will cry anytime.)

MN: You are too much. I’m leaving.

DO: Andwe! (He refused to budge from the door.)

MN: Stop being childish! How long do you think you can stay in front of the door?

DO: Until you answer my question that you have deflected from just now.

MN: Move… (She firmly asked of him.)

DO: I won’t…

Mina tried to push him from the door but she wasn’t strong enough.

MN: I said move…

DO: Mianhe... I won’t….

Mina began hitting his chest.

MN: Jebal… let me get away from here.

DO: Answer me first….

MN: Stop with that. (She finally screamed at him.) Why does my answer matters so much? Nothing will change? You and I are just friends. Even if I loved you from the very beginning, I know my place very well. So, what are you trying to prove when you get my answers? You need my answers to feed your ego?

DO: Mianhe Mina ah…

Mina gathered all her strength and pushed him away. Kyungsoo who was stunned by her answer stumbled back and Mina managed to escape from his room. By then Kyungsoo’s front door opened. His mum was super glad to see Mina.

DOM: Ommo! Minari… is that you?

MN: Yes Ommunim!

DOM: It’s been so long.

MN: Yes... Omani I got…

DO: Oma… you’re back early today?

DOM: Neh, I am done with work early. I thought of cooking something nice for dinner. Stay for dinner okay Minari?

MN: I … I (She was hesitant of what to answer)

DOM: You won’t deny this old lady from catching up with you right?

DO: I am sure she would love to stay. (He answered for her earning a stare down from the tiny girl.)

MN: Sure… I don’t mind.

Dinner was a mixed of awkward and nostalgic. After dinner, Kyungsoo had to drive Mina home. Both kept quiet. No one dared to say anything. 30 minutes to the journey, Mina realized they are not heading back to her place but she wouldn’t want to say a word to him. When he finally parks the car, they are at top of Seoul’s many hills. Kyungsoo left the car. He leaned at the front of the car waiting for her to come to him.

5 minutes gone.

10 minutes gone.

15 minutes gone.

20 minutes gone.

Then he felt her standing next to him.

MN: Soo ah… what are you trying to do? Why are you doing this?

DO: Don’t tell me you don’t know?

Kyungsoo took out his wallet and retrieved a folded card. A card that Mina left him. Mina turned to wipe her tears.

DO: You said to keep in touch but you disappeared. And the sad thing was… I know the reason you left. I know why you did what you did but it still hurts.

MN: Let’s not talk about this. I have already forgotten the feelings I had towards you. (She managed to string the sentences.)

DO: Are you sure of that? (He asked her with the cutest pouts and voice.)

Mina accidentally smiles at the pout that she misses so much.

DO: I miss that gummy smile…

Mina immediately pretended to be cold towards him. Kyungsoo’s reaches for her chin. She slaps his hand away. He nudges her arm. She crosses it and roll her eyes. Kyungsoo braves himself and stood right in front of her. Mina heartbeat races at the daring side of Kyungsoo. She looks away but Kyungsoo tried his best to look into her eyes.

DO: Mianhe for taking this long…. I like you too. But how do we move forward from here?

MN: I never said I love you.

DO: You did just now in my room.

MN: You heard wrong. (She stutters.)

DO: Myoui Mina… really? You still want to deny.

Mia rolls her eyes away. Kyungsoo pulls her lose to him.

DO: Look at me… Tell me you don’t like me at all. Tell me to stop dreaming of us getting together as a couple. Tell me that you love someone else. Tell me… So that I can give up waiting for you. (He asked for a clear answer.)

Mina stares deep into his eyes. His pout is so irresistible. She holds on to the lapel of his jacket before her lips reaches for his. Kyungsoo immediately wraps his hand around her waist. When they finally pull away, Mina quickly enters the car leaving a stunned Kyungsoo outside. When he regained his senses, he enters the car. He took out his phone and immediately started texting.

‘Mina and I are officially dating. We kissed.’

He sent those words to the group chat.

MN: Ya… micho!

DO: You can’t run away already. Oh wait. you can’t run.

MN: Why can’t I?

DO: Because you and me are both penguins. We swim. we don’t run… (He started giving his lame jokes.)

Mina smiles as she hears those words. She wipes her tears of happiness as she stares at the penguin beside her. Of course, she worries a lot.

Will they be able to pick up from where they left off?