Krystal Jung was 18 when she first saw her sister on her deathbed.

For her, Jessica had always been so beautiful. She had a fair skin, almost pale and her sharp features that resembled their mother had made Krystal jealous a few times in her life. She did not understand why people kept complimenting her looks. Had they gone blind? Could they not see her sister, breath-taking in her cold beauty and a warm goofball when she was with her group members?

She received the news late at night after she was done with a performance with f(x). They were all in the company’s van and she was at her usual spot, leaning against Amber making the older girl as her pillow and bed when their manager oppa took a turn that did not lead to their dorm. Luna, being the only one among the younger girls who was still alert questioned their manager but his stern face gave nothing away and Victoria who was sitting at the front sit turned her head away to look at the window, hiding her face from her younger members.

Krystal should have realized by then that the manager had been throwing her anxious looks ever since he was ushering them in the van. She should have realized the quiet conversation that Victoria and their manager had made Victoria’s face tainted with fear and the Chinese girl almost burst into tears but was silenced with a shake of head by their manager. She should have realized that she did not receive a text or any missed calls from her mother today; worrying about the maknae of the family.

Instead she joked around as usual with Sulli and Amber, helping them to tease the other members and fooled around backstage with EXO members, especially with her same-aged friends, Kai and Sehun who had just debuted that year.

Truth was, she should have seen it coming but she was too busy growing up, too busy chasing her dreams that she forgot monsters did not always stay under the bed.

Sometimes they came in the sound of tires screeching, the tears from her mother and her father’s head hung low from defeat.

Sometimes they came in the form of her beautiful sister lying on the hospital bed, smiling weakly before letting out bouts of coughs that brought out small blue daffodils tainted with blood.

As she grew up, she learned all of these and more. She learned that loving someone was a choice, although sometimes it did not lie in your hands as she watched her sister hoarse voice screaming in protest when her parents decided to make her do the surgery to forget whoever it was that she loved. She learned that her sister was a fighter when she stood up from her bed and took a surgical knife and threatened to kill herself. She learned that peace came for her sister in the form of a petite girl with round eyes; begging with her soft voice for Jessica to undergo the surgery. She watched as her sister’s trembling figure dropped the knife and wailed her heart out before being sedated and brought into surgery.

Most importantly, that night she learned that her father could not always protect her from all the monsters in the world. However, she could always turn to the girl with a short hair that would always held her up, even when she herself could barely standing.

She could always count on Amber, always.

She was 21 when she visited Red Velvet’s dorm for the first time with Amber.

She had pretty much sworn to herself she would never fall in love at this point, after seeing how much love had broken and changed her beloved sister.

For all, Jessica was still the caring daughter and loving younger sister but for Krystal, she saw how the sister she had looked up all her life started to lose the light in her eyes. She watched how Jessica argued with her group members often before The Great Separation happened and she noticed how her sister’s once warm eyes turned cold especially when she was looking at a certain someone in the group. She knew her sister could not remember the feelings she had before but she seemed to lose a huge part of herself and when that happened, she replaced the empty space with anger and resentment.

She pledged to never let the same thing happened to her.

Probably that was the reason why she was crinkling her disgust at the scene happening in front of her.

“I did not come here to be the fifth wheel.”

Her cold voice shocked Wendy and Irene (who were spoon-feeding each other carrot cake) and Amber and Seulgi (who were wrestling for the tv’s remote control). Wendy and Irene smiled sheepishly and Amber walked over to Krystal and snuggled beside the younger girl at the couch. Meanwhile, Seulgi was celebrating her newfound dominance of the remote control quietly, afraid that Amber might took it away again.

“Aww Baby Jung, are you jealous? You know I was only fooling around with that bear there?”

Amber cooed and Seulgi made a sound of a butchered cow, disgusted by the greasiness displayed by the girl who liked to act all tough. Wendy meanwhile, had moved to sit beside Seulgi on the carpet and Irene made herself comfortable at one of the empty couches.

Krystal squinted her eyes before answering.

“What are you, stupid? I thought I’m being invited here to watch a movie, not a live scene.”

Seulgi laughed a little too loudly at this and Wendy took the opportunity to snatch the remote control from her and started to pick a movie. The resident bear pouted at her friend but Wendy only ignored her attempt at being cute and scrolled through the list of movies.

“Wendy always choose a romantic one! Let’s watch a horror flick!”

Seulgi suggested and Krystal found herself cringing in disgust at both suggestion.

“No! Let’s watch something funny!”

Krystal was quick to offer her own idea but no one seemed to react to her. Amber was the only one who smiled apologetically at Krystal, knowing that Seulgi and Wendy heard the girl but pretended they did not.

“What do you want to watch, Amber? Let’s hear from everyone then.”

In the midst of chaos, Irene’s calm voice seemed to restore some order and when Amber realized that everyone was waiting for her answer, she just shrugged.

“I’ll go with whatever Krystal wants.”

“Whipped.”

“er.”

“-kisser.”

“Greasy unnie.”

Seulgi and Wendy’s voices went back and forth, ridiculing Amber. The girl with tattoos on her hand just threw her head back and laughed raucously. Krystal meanwhile, appeared happy with the support.

“Two for comedy, one for romance and one for horror. I’m winning so far! Now who’s left to vote?”

Krystal’s question made them turned around and looked at each other. When they came into realization who was the only one who had not voted, Wendy smirked and Seulgi buried her face in her palm, groaning in frustration. Amber just seemed amused by her friends and Krystal just muttered a small, ‘Oh.’

“Since I’m the unnie here, and Wendy’s my girlfriend, we’ll go with whatever Wendy wants.”

Wendy did a small dance ceremony while being seated and everyone wondered why they even bothered voting in the first place. Nevertheless, Wendy chose the movie they would watch before hopping on the couch and snuggled with Irene. Seulgi brought some pillows and laid down on the carpet while being surrounded by her messy pillow fort. Krystal did not need much; she just rested her head on Amber’s shoulder and the older girl caressed her hair softly, knowing that she liked it. She let Amber’s flowery scent filled her lungs. Amber always smelled nice for her, and the older girl’s scent had calmed her a lot of times. That was how they all stayed throughout the movie.

Krystal could not understand why Wendy would choose a movie with hanahaki disease as the main theme. Those kind of movies rarely had happy endings anyway. If she was to be honest, she hated movies with the disease as the central plot as it brought her back to that night Jessica had her surgery. Amber knew this and she took Krystal’s hand and held it with her free hand, squeezing it with assurance once in a while. Slowly, Krystal’s tense figure became more relaxed and she could almost enjoy the movie without feeling like her heart was going to burst.

As she had expected, when the movie ended, almost everyone was in tears. Amber did not cry but her eyes were red too. Krystal smiled teasingly at the other girl and Amber scoffed at her before scurrying further from her, taking her flowery fragrance with her although they were still sitting at the same couch. They were immersed listening to the soundtrack of the movie playing in the credits when Amber’s voice broke the tranquillity that was settling in their hearts.

“Irene unnie, have you ever coughed out flowers before?”

Irene seemed taken aback by this question and Wendy looked u