Part 4: These Nights

    Seungwan pushed her way out of the bathroom, into the sounds of echoed chatter and bass-driven music. Purple and blue strobe lights blasted down from overhead, throwing the entire club into a shadowed, extenuated glow. Around her, the most beautiful people in the country - idols, actors, and actresses - mingled and talked. They wore elegant dresses and sharply cut suits, holding their drinks with graceful fingers, living angels wearing perfect smiles.

    And she couldn’t help but feel that she didn’t belong. That wasn’t exactly a new development for her; she was in a group with four of the most beautiful women in all of Korea. She also knew she shouldn’t compare herself to other idols, but she couldn’t help it. Not in a place like this. These people seemed so ethereal, so perfect. Like statues carved from marble. Permanent youth and beauty, regardless of their age or gender.

    Seungwan brushed through the dense crowd, spouting constant “excuse me’s” and “sorry’s” as she went along. Despite her furtive personality, she tried to remind herself that these people were, well… just people. They had vices, flaws, and insecurities. She’d heard one of them snorting something in the bathroom stall next to hers. The woman with the thick eyeliner and the silver hair covered the scars on her wrists with concealer. The strong-jawed man with the shaved head had a terrible gambling addiction, and liked to visit brothels on his downtime. The actress in the frilly white dress slept with a different person every night.

    Those kinds of thoughts might have been mean-spirited in any other circumstance, but Seungwan didn’t judge them for these things. She just used each of those facts as grounding tools, ways to prevent herself from being overwhelmed by their perfection.

    Seungwan cut through the dance floor, came out into a carpeted strip filled with lounge couches. This area was reserved for the “top” idols, which meant whoever could pay the most to sit there. Despite their dismissive attitude, SM liked to maintain Red Velvet’s image as an expensive, exclusive group. As a result they were given VIP seating at parties like this. It wasn’t a gift so much as it was a status symbol, letting everyone know who was on top.

    It also served to make Seungwan feel a hundred times more out of place in that club.

    Sooyoung and Seulgi sat at a drink table, chatting with a few young boy group members. Seungwan didn’t recognize them, but they were clearly trying to flirt. Seulgi was being her usual oblivious self while Sooyoung played along, offering toothy smiles and tinkling laughs. Unfortunately, the security guard assigned to their booth hadn’t allowed them to enter the VIP area, so the three young idols were forced to tiptoe over the fence. Just another way to extenuate Red Velvet’s status “above” the rest.

    The guard continued to eye the three boys as he let Seungwan in. Briefly, Seungwan caught Sooyoung’s eye, and the taller girl’s smile widened, becoming solid and genuine. Seungwan couldn’t help but smile back.

    “You guys should get back to your managers,” Sooyoung said to the three overeager boys, “They might get mad if you’re gone for too long.”

    Thankfully, the boys took the rejection for what it was and walked away, offering half-hearted, muttered goodbyes.

    Seungwan sank into the seat beside Sooyoung. As if by reflex, the taller girl reached an arm around Seungwan’s shoulders and pulled her in. Though they’d been close like this more times than she could count, Seungwan still felt a flutter in her stomach at Sooyoung’s touch.

    “Sorry for not going with you,” Sooyoung said apologetically, swirling the wine around in her glass, “I just didn’t feel like having to get through all those people.”

    “It’s fine,” Seungwan said with a shrug, peering around. “Joohyun went home?”

    “Yeah, she got a cab,” Seulgi answered, looking up from her phone. “She had a ‘headache’ again.”

    Seungwan grinned and accepted a sip of wine from Sooyoung. There was a lipstick stain on the rim of the glass, and Seungwan had to make a conscious effort not to put her lips right over it.

    “I figured Joohyun would be out before midnight. She hates these things,” Seungwan said.

    “Yeah, but now I feel like I’m third-wheeling,” Seulgi said, shaking her head in mock sadness, “For the fifth time this month.”

    Seungwan had no idea what to say to that, but thankfully Sooyoung was always quick with her quips and responses.

    “Oh, you’re fine,” Sooyoung said, patting Seulgi on the shoulder, using her most salacious voice, “You can turn this couple into a , if you want.”

    Seungwan let out a loud laugh, failing to cover the blush that filled her cheeks.

    Seulgi, who was less amused, sighed explosively. “I wish Yerim was here. She’s the only one who can keep you under control.”

    Having just turned twenty in March, Yeri was still too young to come to clubs with them. That was usuall