[July 31st, 2015]

“Taeyeon I swear to god if you keep talking about Tiffany in that way I will shove my sock down your throat.”

“Geez Yoona. Chill a bit will ya? I'm only human.”

“A erted human is what you are.”

“There's nothing wrong with talking about the wonderful human body.”

“There's something wrong with you, honestly.”

The bickering duo of Im Yoona and Kim Taeyeon walked, more like raced in Taeyeon's perspective, across campus to get to their first class of the day. Yoona was never a morning person and honestly wanted to be at home rather than school. Taeyeon used to be the same way until she locked eyes with Tiffany Hwang on the first day of school. Yoona was glad her only friend had found someone in her life, now if only she could find the same.

It was a good thing their class wasn't far so Yoona could manage to fall asleep in class and most likely get away with it. Teachers knew the young girl for 3 years now and expected nothing less than seeing her at the back of the class in a deep sleep. Almost instantly, Yoona rushed to her seat, but was prevented from sitting down when she saw another girl in her spot.

“Excuse me, that's my seat.”

“Oh, sorry. I just transferred into the class and assumed the seats in the back were empty.”

“Honest mistake. The seat next to me is empty in case you want to sit down.”

“Thank you.”

The other girl didn't bother continuing the conversation and in turn went back to reading the book she had in her hands. Yoona wanted to keep making small talk but didn't want to push the other girl into continuing a conversation that was clearly at its end.

Thankfully the class soon began so Yoona took advantage of the situation and began napping. The other girl glanced over at the stranger to her left and decided she should better forget the small incident and go back to taking notes. The class, as well as the rest of the school day, passed by in a blur to Yoona though she still wondered who the mystery girl was.

Maybe she was a new student? Probably. Or maybe she had just transferred into the class period. Whoever she was, she had left some sort of imprint on Yoona’s mind and it would eventually drive the girl insane if she didn't get some answers quickly.

- ▪ -

“Hey Tae, do you know who's the girl that was in my seat in the beginning of 1st period?”

“Of course I do. She's in my dance class as well.”

“What's her name?”

“I think it's Seo Joohyun. I don't know since I don't hang around her much.”

“Oh.”

“You know what, she's really close to Tiffany.”

“So?”

“Maybe I can get some information from Tiffany and then tell you next time.”

“Are you just saying that so you can really get closer to Tiffany.”

“...maybe…”

“Wow Tae. You'd do anything to get closer to Tiffany.”

“Of course. Why do you think I'm taking dance class?”

“You have a good point there.”

The pair sat down at the bus stop and remained quiet for a few seconds. It didn't take long before one of the two decided to break the silence by asking questions.

“So, does this mean you have a thing for Joohyun.”

“Of course not. She's just different.”

“Different? How?”

“She didn't give me attitude like all the other people that know me.”

“Maybe she's just nice.”

“Nobody is ever that nice to me. You should know this by now.”

“Point taken.”

“Let's just drop this here. I see the bus coming.”

Taeyeon and Yoona got on the bus as well as the other people that were waiting. The latter sat next to the window and stared blankly towards the high school. She almost didn't notice the girl rushing onto the bus at the last minute.

It was her. Seo Joohyun.

Yoona glanced over at the girl then looked back out the window. She managed to smile a bit from the girl attempting to reach the bus on time, but that was it. The following minutes of the ride would be filled with the nagging of Taeyeon and the small talk from the other passengers.

- ▪ -

[August 13th, 2015]

“I can't believe you managed to get transferred into choir with me Yoona.”

“It was recommended for this class and took the chance to join.”

“Are you sure it's not because of Joohyun?”

“She's in this class? I didn't know.”

“Sure you didn't.”

“I'm serious. I honestly didn't know.”

“Whatever you say buddy. Now, let's get to choir before we get marked as late.”

Yoona walked through the red door and scanned around the room for a place to sit. She didn't see any open space so she just sat at the piano and waited for the class to begin. It didn't take long for her to be completely lost in what the rest of the class was doing so she just hid beside the piano.

Once the class was over, Yoona stayed inside the empty room and observed every detail her brain could intake. She noticed the dozens of trophies lining the top of the cupboards and countless plaques mounted on the walls. She felt inferior to the rest of the group now. Her voice wasn't that pretty but somehow she ended up in the advanced choir.

The sound of tapping piano keys brought Yoona out of her thoughts. She looked towards the piano and saw Joohyun eagerly playing a beautiful melody. The notes were soon accompanied by her soft voice. The harmonious relationship between the piano and Joohyun sounded almost angelic to Yoona’s ears. Once Joohyun ended the piece and was about to leave, Yoona gained some courage and stopped the former.

“You have a lovely voice Joohyun.”

“Thanks. Um, I didn't think anyone was still in here.”

“I decided to stay after for a bit. I'm actually kinda glad I did.”

“Why?”

“Well I got to hear your voice so that's a plus.”

“Thank you Yoona.”

“You're very welcome Joohyun. Um, this may sound strange but do you wanna go hang out with me and a few others inside the theater?”

“I don't know. I kinda have to be home soon.”

“That's okay, just promise me you'll come and hang out with us some other time.”

“I promise. See you around Yoona.”

“Bye Joohyun.”

Joohyun rushed out of the choir room practically sprinting towards the bus stop leaving Yoona dazed. She didn't know where the the newfound sense of confidence came from when she approached the girl, but she knew she liked the feeling. Before even a minute could pass, she heard the door open again and was immediately dragged away by Taeyeon towards the theater.

- ▪ -

[September 30th, 2015]

The theater never seemed more lively, or at least that's what Yoona believed. She saw Taeyeon being her usual dorky self on stage while Tiffany watched from the tech deck. Yoona was on the side of the stage, hoping a certain someone would run through the doors and be a part of the creative chaos.

“Yoona, stop looking like a lost puppy towards the door. Your crush will come later.”

“Shut up Tae.”

In the last couple of weeks, Yoona and Joohyun had started talking more. Whether that be in class or on the bus rides home, the two enjoyed being around one another. Of course, that also meant constant teasing from Taeyeon.

“No need to be bitter Yoona. I just see it how it is.”

“I don't like her. She's just a friend.”

“You say that now, but I think you like her more than just a friend.”

“I do not. She's just another friend on campus.”

“Ah, so now you have three friends. Great.”

“You know what, I think it's better if I just leave. You obviously don't know when to stop joking.”

Yoona grabbed her black backpack and ran out the theater. She felt the tears starting to stream down her face, but she didn't care about wiping them away in that moment. Taeyeon probably didn't mean to take the joke that far, but it still hurt knowing the remark came from her best friend.

She finally gave up on running when she managed to reach the bus stop. Her stuff fell to the floor as she took a seat on the cold metal seat. She wiped away the tears that were still on her face and let out a deep sigh.

Her mind began racing with all the thoughts she had. What if she had just put a strain on one of her few friendships? What if she can't return her friendship with Taeyeon back to the way it was before? All these what if scenarios just piled up more and more inside her mind.

“Yoona, are you okay?”

“Oh, Joohyun. What are you doing here?”

“Well I went to the theater and Taeyeon told me you had run out a little bit before I had gotten there.”

“So how'd you find me?”

“You told me a while back that you would always go to one of two places when you're mentally distressed at school. The theater or bus stop right outside campus.”

“Wow. I can't believe you remembered that.”

“Well it pays off to listen.”

“I guess.”

“So do you want to tell me what's on your mind?”

“It's honestly nothing. Just a small misunderstanding between friends.”

“You sure?”

“Of course I'm sure.”

“Okay. Whatever you say Yoona.”

The situation soon lightened up when Yoona started telling jokes to Joohyun. The pair spend most of the remain time waiting for the bus laughing and just flat out being themselves. When the bus finally came, they continued on at the back of the bus until Joohyun reached her stop.

Yoona continued riding for another three stops then got off. She took out her phone and saw a new message on the screen from an unknown number. With very little hesitation, she opened the message and read it.

‘Hey Yoona. It's me, Joohyun. Taeyeon gave me your number. I hope you get home safely :)’

A small smile formed on Yoona’s face when she read that message. She chose not to reply simply to not seem desperate. Something about Joohyun made Yoona feel better about herself and she was loving that feeling.

- ▪ -

[December 19th, 2015]

It finally hit her. Yoona had a crush on Joohyun. The realization hit Yoona when she found herself reading their text messages before school started and smiling from ear to ear. She had fallen head over heels for the girl that made her heart race and stomach do somersaults all at the same time. She knew she'd have to hide her feelings since the two didn't know each other well enough yet to be on a dating level.

Yoona liked Joohyun. What if Joohyun didn't reciprocate those feelings? What if Yoona told Joohyun and the latter chose to stop being friends with the former? Her mind was uneasy and nothing could really stop her from coming up with these mental scenarios.

She knew she'd need to hide her true emotions or she would risk losing one or all of her friends if she said anything to Joohyun. No one could ever find out about this, not even Taeyeon.

- ▪ -

[February 14th, 2016]

It had been a long few weeks for Yoona. She had been trying to hide her emotions and was succeeding for the most part. Joohyun had started hanging out with the girls in the theater after school which was both good and bad for Yoona. She had been spending so much time with Joohyun that it made it nearly impossible for her heart to not beat erratically when she was around the latter.

Today, Taeyeon and Tiffany were going to the movies after class which meant Yoona and Joohyun would be alone in the theater, if they chose to hang out there. Yoona waited inside the theater for a full hour after school before she came to the conclusion that Joohyun wouldn't be coming. Just as she was about to exit the building, she saw something that shattered her heart.

It was Joohyun and another girl together. She held her hand and was making her smile. It only hurt more when Joohyun gave the girl a kiss on the cheek. Yoona couldn't watch any more of this and ran up into the tech deck. She locked the door and broke down in tears.

All the pain she felt surged through her veins. She wanted to believe what she saw was all a lie, but that most likely wasn't what was going on. Her tears continued to fall for a good while until it was clearly night out. In a rush, Yoona grabbed her things and ran out. She put her jacket on and kept the hood over her head to avoid making eye contact with anyone who would wonder what was wrong with her.

Yoona hated feeling insufficient and this was no exception. She had thought maybe if she had confessed today that she'd get the weight lifted off her chest, but clearly that wouldn't be happening. Her single red rose now seemed pathetic in her bag.

She rode the bus home, but got off a couple stops before hers. The brunette lazily walked towards the house she now seemed to dread, Joohyun’s. She casually walked up to the fence and stopped.

Yoona took a deep breath and took out the rose in her backpack. She clenched it in her left hand despite the stinging pain then threw it towards the door of the house. Small drops of blood dripped from her hand, but she didn't care about the blood or the pain. She picked up her bag and started walking away, but not before saying the words ‘I love you’ in the direction of Joohyun’s room.

Yoona would need to forget her feelings for Joohyun. Even though she loved the younger girl, it would do no good to hold onto someone who was never hers to begin with. Joohyun would never know how much Yoona loved her, and in the mind of the latter, it was better if it stayed that way to prevent anyone else from being hurt.

Falling in love was pain, and Yoona had sadly figured that out the hard way.