Playlist on Shuffle

The library, as usual, is empty when I arrived. Nobody really bothers to go here. Unless, they really need for a class or required by a teacher. I mean, why would you need a library when there's coffee shop and internet. It's modern day with modern technologies, libraries aren't that much appreciated anymore. Which is why I am here.
It may be the only place in the school which isn't crowded by people's noise or occupied by people's chattering. The only place you could actually be alone when you want to. I am not a loner, but I do prefer silence when I have free time in between breaks. The constant voices of people around me tires me out. Even my own voice tires me out.
I wasn't even half way on the playlist on my music player when somebody tapped my phone three times. His usual greeting. I looked up to see him send me a smile before he plopped down on the opposite chair from mine and digged out his own phone and earphones to listen to his own music.

 

From Music guy:
3:18 pm
I found a new song.

 

My eyebrows raised in interest before I picked up my phone to reply to him.

 

To Music guy:
3:19 pm
Pass it on.

 

After exiting out the messaging app, I went to the setting on my phone to open my bluetooth. And then I waved my phone to show him I opened it. He send me a thumbs up before my phone finally recieved an mp3 file.

Perfect Strangers by Jonas Blue

I opened it and immediately added it to the playlist I was just listening and the playlist specifically for this, before finally listening to it.

-

His name is Mark and we met a year and half ago. The finals were over and soon the semester would too. So as per celebration, my friends decided to go to a club. I wanted to say no. Actually, I did say no. But they wouldn't really be my friends if they aren't equally as stubborn as me. So even if it's against my will and I'd rather stay home to watch sappy movies, they dragged me along.

The club was too crowded and too loud. Something both I really hate. What's worse is the EDM that's playing is really ty. It has too much bass and less music. It's actually annoying. And as usual, I was left alone on our table because I wouldn't really dance on the floor or try to hook up with other people. I sighed, I am the world's biggest killjoy as of the moment. Eventually, my friends came back. With an additional of a group of four boys. I frowned. Of course, they're just too friendly aren't they? Needless to say, I am enjoying the night less and less.

They were introduced to me but I honestly doesn't give a so I really don't remember anyone. They talk for a couple of minutes, then drink, and then two by two (yes two by two, partners, duh), they returned back to the dance floor or to the heart of the club. Whatever. I wasn't really paying attention. Until there was only the two of us left. We didn't talk at first, I really wasn't the type of person who likes small talks to pass the time or to fill in the silence. And he seems the same. The time passed, around thirty minutes or so, and we're still not talking. I was just listening on my phone, despite the loudass music, and he was occupied with the game on his phone. Until he tapped me on my shoulder,

"Hey, I'm leaving" He said out of politeness.
"What 'bout your friends?" I asked, almost a shout, because the music suddenly boomed loudly. He shrugged.
"I'm starving, so I really don't care about them at the moment" He said and I nodded. He put his two fingers on his forehead, as if an imitation of a mock salute, before turning around and leaving. Within the next thirty minutes, I also decided to it and went home.

Three days later, we met again. I was once again dragged by my friends. Seriously, I am questioning why I even interact with them. The only thing that changed was it is in our school court rather than a club. Still, it's too crowded and too loud. I don't even know why we have to go there, like, we don't have any male friends, or none of us really have a boyfriend who's playing basketball. In the end, we still watched the game even though I wasn't really aware of what's happening. Two hours later, we're in a small snack and eat food store with four other guys, two of them who played on the earlier game. They wrere the guy we met on the club they say, and oh- I can remember the silent guy. The one who actually seat down beside me without talking. I sighed, at least the store has good music.

"Do you know what song is this?" I asked my friends as it was playing on the background.
"No? Do you?" One of my friend asked the others and they all shook their head as a no. I pouted and just continued on listening. Hoping to pick up the title on the lyrics. It has been my hobby to collect random songs and if I like them, I download them and put them on a playlist.
"If I'm lucky" silent guy said and everyone looked at him suddenly because, okay, that's so out of the context. We (note: they) were talking about ty professors on our school when he suddenly said that. But he just continued to eat as if he didn't say anything.
"Dude, what?" His friend, was he jackson? Or Jb? I really forgot.
"The title of the song, it's If I'm lucky. By the State Champs" He said and continued on devouring his food. I gaped at him.
"You know it?" I asked him when the other people on our table shrugged him off.
"Yeah, I have it on my phone. You like me to pass it?" I nodded at him and that is the start of how we kept on passing music to each other.

-

To Music guy:
2:09 am
Do you know Tori kelly?

 

I hit send before opening a few tabs to download my newly discovered songs. I just finished my term paper when I decided to surf the internet a little bit before going to sleep. That was when I stumbled upon her and her songs. I didn't waited for his reply since it's already late, and shut off my laptop as soon as the mp3 is downloaded.

 

From Music guy:
6:32 am
No. Who?

 

I closed my phone before getting up and washing myself. It's just seven in the morning but I already need to run to school because I have a class at eight.

 

To Music guy:
2:51 pm
Singer. Dear no one? It's a nice song.
Are you at the library?

 

I closed my laptop and started to pack my things. I have three hours break after this class and I'm actually looking forward on going to the library to show Mark my ney discovered singer.

 

From Music guy:
2:53 pm
Yep. Usual place.
Hurry, I want to listen.

 

I smiled with his reply and sling my bag on my shoulder before walking out of the room.

 

To Music guy:
2:55 pm
On my way.

-

Believe it or not, I only found out his name on our sixth encounter. At this point, he had atleast passed a couple of songs to me. He and his friends are starting to be an addition to our circle of friends, but I wasn't still keen on talking to them. I usually talk to Bambam, the youngest out of the four of them, because he's actually relentless on talking to me. I am learning to like his company. Mark doesn't usually talk. And if he does, it's either he has a song for me to listen to or he's dissing his friends. He's quite of a savage . But I can see that his friends are used to it.

We were gonna go to a house party that night, and we decided to split teams because honestly, going to a party late at night without a car is suicide. And I haven't had a car. There were three of them who offered a ride; Jackson (or is it Jb? I'm still confused), my friend Rica, and Mark. I was supposed to ride with Rica but when we found out that Mark was nearer to me, well, change of plans.
Before we have our seperate ways to get ready for the night, he handed me his phone and I was kind of confused why he's giving it to me.

"Your number, so you could text me your address later for me to pick you up" He said and oh, right. That's embarrasingly right. Why didn't I thought of that? I input my number on his phone and he dialed it so his number would appear on mine.
"See you later" He said and I nodded. He was actually a couple of steps away already when I realized with a jolt that I still don't know what his name is.
"Hey!" I called but he didn't look back.
"Music guy!" I called again and this time he turnned back.
"Are you... Perhaps, calling me?" He asked, a bit amused, maybe as to how I called him.
"I... Don't know your name?" I said and he raised his eyebrows in confusion.
"Mark. My name's Mark." He answered. I nodded and waved at him before I too turned around to go home.

 

From ******6956
7:45 pm
Music guy? I liked that.

 

Three hours later, we're on the party. As usual, I immediately started my hunt to find the most peaceful place in the house. The only good thing in the party was that whoever holds the playlist has great tastes. Most songs that are playing are mellow and soft. Songs that help people relax and it might be anticlimatic since this is a house party, but I can see people not really bothered by it.

I don't know whose bedroom it belongs to but I immediately settled in there, thankful that there's nobody inside having . I was in the middle on singing along with the current song playing in the house when the door opened and revealed Mark.

"Can I?" He asked, motioning inside the room. I nodded. Just like our first meeting, and other meetings for a matter of fact, we don't talk and just sat on silence. Or he's playing on his phone while I sing along softly with the song.
"That's Swift, right?" He asked when the song was finished and I nodded.
"What was it called?" He asked again.
"Enchated. It's on her Speak Now album" I answered him. The next song that's playing is something I haven't heard before and I honestly doesn't like so I didn't pay attention to it.
"Do you have it?" He asked.
"I'll pass it on" I said grabbing my phone and he nodded. We started to bond on music after that.

-

"Hi babe" He greeted and was about to kiss me on the lips when I smelled smoke on him so I tilt my head to the side.
"I thought you said you'd stop smoking" I told him. My tone bordering monotonous because this is something we had talked about for like, a million of times already.
"Wasn't easy, babe" He tsk'ed and sat down on the chair beside me. I rolled my eyes at him.
"Stop that. You're not my mom" He said, annoyed.
"I know. I'm your girlfriend" I bite back. He glared at me but I ignored him to check out who messaged me instead

 

From Music guy:
6:27 pm
Superman by Charlie Puth.
Check that out.

 

"Huh. So loverboy still texting you" He said after grabbing my phone.
"What the , Liam. Give that back" I said and tried to grab my phone back but he only moved his hand so I won't be able to reach it.
"So you could keep on messaging him? no. I'm your boyfriend and your loverboy has to know that" He spit.
"He knows, okay? And stop calling him loverboy. He's my friend!" I finally stood up and ignored the other people who are in the store too. I tried to grab my phone but he moved it away again. I groaned in frustration.
"Friend? Yeah, you could've fooled me. I can see the way he looks at you. And you at him. Do I have to remind you that you're mine?" He said, grabbing me by the shoulder.
"Did I ever bothered you at how you look at your es?" I said and violently shrugged his hold off before grabbing my bag.
"Where do you think you are going?" he said, stopping me from stepping around the table to leave.
"Away. You and my phone could for all I care" I said and turned my back away from him. I can hear him shouting my name and cursing Mark, and suddenly I'm glad that Liam doesn't know my password. I grabbed a cab and decided to go home.

-

The first time I realized that I maybe starting to like him was when I'm on my third month with Liam. By this time, we were already fighting on a daily basis about small things. And when that happens, Mark is usually I talk to when I'm annoyed or hurt. One, becuase he mostly just listens than talk unlike my friends. Two, he has nice songs that comforts me. And lastly, I just found his presence comfortable. He has always been this steady and quite, and hours with him are peacefully enjoyable.

"Its title is Latch." He said after the song finished and I nodded. He's on his laptop doing whatever paper for school he was doing when I arrived.
"How 'bout this one? I've never heard of it" I asked, drumming the beat on his back.
"ahh. You'll like this one. It's called happily ever after, by He is We" He answered and I nodded as I continued listening on the song. I took the time to observe him.

Mark has nice skin. It isn't pale nor is it tan. It's just in between that somehow looked radiant on him. He has small slit eyes, and anyone who looks at him could tell that he is chinese. His lips are pouty, kissable. Like most guys, he doesn't put anything on his lips but somehow they're redder than other guys. He's undeniably handsome. No wonder there's a lot of girls (and guys) falling for him.

"You're staring" He said and I would've been embarrassed if I was any other girl but yeah, totally not my thing.
"I'm thinking" I told him as an explanation. Techinically, I'm not lying. I'm thinking about him. We were silent again after that. He went back to typing, and I went back on checking him out.
"I've never ask... Why are you with Liam?" He asked. Unlike to my friends, his tone isn't malicious or judgemental. It's just curious. I started to think.

Liam might be an but he was nice to me. Our parents are friends so we practically grew up together. Although he's a jerk to everybody else, he isn't to me. Unless when we are fighting and arguing. And even if we do, he would still be the one who'd crumble and say sorry first. He confessed to me after graduating highschool, right in front of our parents on our celebratory night. And I said no. Though he is nice to me and treats me differently than other people, I am not blind. I know how much of an he is. He bully other kids and has his own set of gang. He smokes and drinks and sometimes, I know they do weeds too. I also know that he s around with different girls. That alone is enough to make me say no.
But he told me he'd do anything to make me say yes. Though he still is rude and a jerk, he doesn't bully other people anymore and I know he stopped brawling too. He also rejects girl trying to get in his pants and started to actually study. It went on for two years, until I said yes three months ago. But after a month or so, he started to lapsed back to what he was doing before we became a thing. And it kind of hurts because I do have feelings for him.

"He changed for me..." I answered. And he stopped typing to look at me. I was so sure that he'd scold me, try to talk me out of it like my other friends who doesn't like Liam. But I want to work this relationship out. Liam is both my childhood friend and boyfriend, I still believe that we can work this out.
"Fools" He suddenly said and turned his back on me to go back on typing. I looked at him offended. I was about to defend myself and my relationship when he speak again.
"By Troy sivan. This song is nice" He said and I realized that the song changed already. Oh. So it was the song title.
"Oh. Yeah, it's nice" I said and slumped down on his couch.
"He's a lucky guy" He suddenly said in the middle of the song.
"Huh?"
"He's a lucky guy for having you" For some reason, my heart skipped a beat at what he said. And whenever I see him again after that, he never fails on making me feel that over and over again.

-

"what are you listening to?" He asked as he put down his bag on the floor to sit beside me.
"If I were a boy, Rihanna" I told him and handed him the left earpiece. He raised his eyebrows but he took it anyway and put it in his ear.
"Did you fought again?" He asked as he started to eat his lunch. Wow, he didn't even ask me if I'm hungry or not. I really can't understand how he can eat so much. It should be annoying but it is cute.
"I'm thinking of breaking up with him" I said and somehow, it cause him to stop eating.
"What happened to working it out?" He asked, he then grabbed my phone as the song finished to choose the next one.
That should be me by justin bieber. Nice choice of song.
"I'm... tired" I answered honestly.
"Why now? I mean, it's obvious that your relationship is tiring. But why now? You've gone far already" He said and I looked at him. He has point.
"I can't take it anymore. I... I can't breathe, Mark" I said and dropped my head on both of my hands.
"Do you still like him?" He asked.
"Honestly? I don't think so anymore"
"If that's what you want then" He said and patted me on the head before resuming to eat.

After we talked, I walked my way to Liam's apartment. I've been pondering for awhile now. On how to break it up. I don't even think there's something to break. Our relationship as of lately... Is not even a relationship anymore. We keep on fighting, arguing and shouting at each other. He got too possessive, and I always get annoyed at him. He hates it when I'm with Mark or with Bambam or the other guy friends. But he himself kept on flirting on other girls. We tried to break things off on our fifth month, but when he asked for another chance, I didn't hesitate to give it to him. And then it just somehow, became a routine. We fight, we break up, and then we make up. And I'm just tired of it.

"Hey babe!" He immediately pulled me into a hug as soon as I arrived in his apartment. I smiled at him but didn't bother to return the hug.
"Let's talk" I told him.
"Babe, if this is about my smoking and what. Please let's not-"
"Let's break up." I cut him off mid sentence. He froze and looked at me bewildered.
"Why? I didn't do anything now, right?" He grabbed both of my shoulder, trying to make me look into his eyes. I don't even know why I can't look at his eyes. I loved him, I know. But the feelings are just... gone. I don't hate him, no. He's still a friend and that won't change.
"Liam... It's not working anymore" I softly said it to him.
"What's not working? We're okay. I'm okay, you're okay. What's not to work?"
"It's not that easy" He was silent after that. I thought, is that it? The break up is... easier than I thought it would be.
"It's not working or you don't want it to work?" He suddenly said and I looked at him. There's a misplaced anger in his eyes. I know he would be angry. I expected it. But it doesn't made it any less scary.
"Huh?"
"It's loverboy, isn't it? That Mark! I knew it! I knew you and that er would do this to me!" He screamed and I take a step back in fear.
"What? What's got Mark got to do with us? I'm talking about us, Liam! He's not a part of this!"
"Yeah? You can't fool me. You like him, don't you? You like him!" He suddenly grabbed my shoulder and gripped it hard.
"Liam! Let me go!" I screamed at him and tried to shrug him off. But his grip just tightened even more. And for the first time, I am genuinely scared of him.
"I knew you would leave me for him!"
"Then why didn't you do something to stop it!" I screamed and if it makes sense, his anger fired up even more. And I was speechless at what I said. Yes, I want to break up with Liam. But no, it has nothing to do with Mark or my feelings for Mark. The relationship is just so ty I just feel like his possession rather than a lover. And I'm not that kind of girl. And I don't know what happened to my head for the past ten months to just take every bull Liam feeds me and stoop down to this level. I am not this kind of girl. I don't deserve this.
I can practically see his fist shake, like he's trying to stop himself from doing somethimg like hurting me. And it hurts me that yes, he is capable of doing that to me.
"What? Are you gonna hurt me? Huh? Do it!" I screamed at him but he just gripped me even harder.
"No. No. Not you"

-

I should be doing my homework. I should be reviewing my notes. But no. Here I am, hiding in the library because somehow I saw my boyfriend flirting with some girl and I can't even do something about it. Pathetic.

I turned the volume higher as I keep on listening on to Pink's Just give me a reason. And somehow, a laugh made its way to my throat as I hear more of the song. I can taste bitterness in my mouth. This is stupid. Why do I need a reason. I could just break up with him, and then he'll be running after me like what he did two years go. But why... Why do I feel so hurt?
A pack of M&M was put on top of my phone and I followed the hand that put it there and found eye to eye with Mark. He smirked before sitting down on the opposite chair.

"Food isn't allowed in the library. This is illegal" I told him after taking off my left earphone. He shrugged.
"Not if no one sees" He said and started to type on his phone. Right after he put it down, my phone buzzed.

 

From Music guy:
2:28 pm
Want to tell me what happened?

 

I bit my lips. Suddenly feeling so vulnerable and all I want to do is cry and hug Mark. But that's stupid because I have a boyfriend, no matter how ty he is, and Mark is my friend. The only friend who can comfort me. Even if I have feelings for him, I can't let it get on the way.

 

To Music guy:
2:31 pm
Have you listened to this?
I knew you were trouble by Taylor Swift.

 

I heard him sighed but kept my eyes on the phone. I don't think I can see the pity in his. I don't think I can look at him look at me like I'm the most stupid girl in the world for putting up with the biggest .

 

From Music guy:
2:35 pm
Yeah, listen to this.

 

And under his message was an mp3 attached.

Battlefield by Jordan Sparks.

It's not my choice at all when a tear fell down from eyes. But instead of him acknowledging it and calling out on me for crying, he just slipped another M&M on my way.

-

The blaring of my phone was enough to call the attention of the whole room. I flinched when all of them looked at me. I thought I put it on silent but hearing it keep on singing Let it go (yes, that frozen song) tells otherwise. I excused myself, and was ready to scream at my bestfriend who should know better than to call me in class but stopped when she started to scream instead.
"HELP! LIAM IS KILLING MARK!" is all I heard before suddenly I was already running.
"Where are you? RICA WHERE ARE YOU?" I screamed as I was running.
"GYM! GYM PLEASE!" That's all I needed before I ended the call and run on full force to go to the gym.
And my blood run cold seeing Mark on the floor as Liam continued on punching him. He's not even fighting back.
"LIAM! STOP!" I screamed and tried to pull him off of Mark. But he pushed me away, causing for me to fall harshly on the floor with a loud thud. I don't know why but it caught Mark's attention. He looked at me once and when Liam was about to hit him. He blocked it and pushed Liam off of him before kicking him.
"are you hurt?" he asked me and I gasped as I fully look at him. There's already a bruise forming around his eyes and on his cheeks. There's blood on his nose and on his lips. My heart ached to hold him.
"We're not finished yet!" Liam suddenly got hold of him and was about to punch him but Mark was faster and landed one on Liam's jaw. I screamed.
"Stop please!" It was fortunate that time that Jb and other guys arrived to hold both of them away from him.

"Let go of me you s!" Liam said and when he stopped fighting, the guys let go of him. He glared at Mark for a couple of minutes before walking towards me and he grabbed me by the shoulder.
"Come with me" Liam said but Mark got hold of my wrist.
"Let go of her" there's a dangerous tilt in his voice that is the first time I have ever heard from him. Mark looked furious.
"She's my girlfriend" Liam snarled at him.
"She broke up with you!" Mark tugged my wrist but Liam pulled me so he was suddenly holding me on my waist. I tried to push him but...
"I'd hurt him more if you don't come with me. Trust me, next time, he won't be this lucky" There's a threat om his voice that all the fight in my left. Knowing that I can't get Mark hurt because of me.
"Don't please." Mark said and somehow, there's a desperate tone in his voice.
"I can take care of myself. You can't do this! He'll hurt you!" Mark pleaded and I looked at him in the eyes. And there's fear and worry and pain swimming in them. It hurts to see it in his eyes. I want so badly to hold him, to reassure him, to wrap him in a hug. But I know I can't.
"He won't. He won't hurt me".
That was the last time we ever have a conversation.

-

From Music guy:
1:28 am
Stay with me by Sam Smith.

It's been one week and we haven't talk. I'm back with Liam but honestly? It's feel like we're saving a dead relationship

-

From Music guy:
2:46 pm
We don't talk anymore by Charlie Puth.

Two weeks. I stopped talking to my friends. All breaks is spent with Liam. It's suffocating.

-

From Music guy:
6:51 pm
Faded by Allan walker

Eighteen days. And we're both avoiding even eye contact. Liam keeps his hands on mine. I feel like I'm chained into him.

-

From Music guy:
3:12 am
Treat you better by Shawn Mendes.

Three weeks. And I can't even stay in a place where there's a trace of Mark and Liam's eyes is all over me. I feel like a prisoner.

-

From Music guy:
5:17 am
Let me love you by Neyo

I am so tired. I am so tired that I just won't replt to any of Liam's messages. I always reject his call. I let him hold my hand, but doesn't hols back. When he scream at me, I let him. I don't answer back. When he kisses me, my lips are tight shut. What's worse is... I'm starting to hate him. I used to think of him as my friend even if the love is gone. But now... I just look at him and all I can feel is anger and pain.

-

From Music guy:
3:22 pm
Fight for you by Jason Derulo.

A month. A month is what took me too grab my things, take back my hand and walk away from Liam. I didn't say anything. And I know he wanted me to stop. He tried to stop me. But he looked at one last time in the eye before letting go of my wrist.

"I can never have you back, can I?" He whispered. And for the first time in months, I can feel that he did love me. That he's scared of losing me. But he already did. Long time before I can even say I've fallen for Mark.
"I don't want to hate you" I told him, and even I myself can hear the emptyness in my voice.
"I don't want you to hate me"
"Then let me go" I stated and we stayed there, looking at each other's eyes in the midde of an open court. With a lot of people around us, not even remotely aware of what's happening.
"Please" I pleaded ans he closed his eyes before nodding his head. As soon as he does, I ddn't even hesitate to walk away. And when I looked back, he still has his eyes closed as if he's afraid to see me leave.
And for the first time for a month, I replied to Mark.

 

To Music guy:
3:38 pm
My boo by Alicia Keys and Usher.

 

I closed my phone and started to walk down the path I already knew by heart. The place where I know he'll be at.

-

From Mark:
11:47 pm
Chariot by Jacob lee.
Goodnight, love.

 

To Mark:
11:50 pm
That's the way I love you by Taylor Swift.
To you too.

-

From Mark:
5:28 am
Perfect by Ed Sheeran.
Good morning and I love you.

 

To Mark:
6:31 am
Mine by Taylor Swift.
I love you and I'll see you later.
-