Jisoo didn’t have to open her eyes and check the mirror to know that she probably looked horrendous. She did end up pitching the “confession” idea to the Inkigayo writers, just to show Jinyoung that it was a legitimate idea. She never anticipated that the writers would actually like it. 

After her text message failure, she had stayed up every night until the Inkigayo recording, trying to come up with a plan of action. That, and searching the internet for an excuse not to go altogether. Her Naver search history had search terms like “how to fake a fever,” “is time travel possible?” “blackpink jisoo lookalikes,” and “cheap same-day flights.”

She really did not want to go to the Inkigayo recording that morning. But she was laying in bed pretending to be asleep and possibly unwell when their manager knocked on her door.

“Jisoo! It’s time to get ready, you have to be at the SBS building in an hour,” their manager she. Jisoo groaned, loud so that her manager could hear. When she didn’t get up to open the door, their manager turned the handle and walked in.

“Jisoo, what are you doing?” she said, tilting her head with concern. “You were supposed to be up an hour ago. Have you had breakfast?”

“I don’t think I can go,” Jisoo tried. Her manager raised an eyebrow.

“Why not?” she asked. “You’re usually excited to record. Are you okay?”

“Umm,” Jisoo said, her voice partially muffled by her pillow. She hoped she sounded sick. “I don’t feel so good, unni.”

The door opened again, and Jennie and Rosé walked into the room and plopped themselves down on the bed on the opposite side of the room. Jisoo didn’t look up to keep her face hidden from her manager, but she didn’t need to look up to see the satisfied, teasing grins on Jennie and Rosé’s faces. When they came home from a late-night ice cream run last night, Rosé had walked into the room and found Jisoo still in a fetal position on the floor with her cellphone leaning against the opposite wall like she had thrown it. 

So naturally, Jisoo had to explain and recount the embarrassing mishap. 

“Oh, no, unni,” Rosé said in a sing-song voice, holding back her laughter. “What’s wrong? You can’t be sick? I told you if you use your phone too much, all the electronic radiation will go to your head.”

“You’re not fooling anyone with your sick act, either,” Jennie said, covering to laugh. 

Jisoo groaned. She was about to turn around and yell ‘yah, Kim Jennie!’ but just as she whipped around, their manager slapped a hand on her forehead. She had a thoughtful look on her face.

“You don’t have a fever.”

Jisoo swallowed. “But… I did… last night?”

“It wasn’t a fever, though,” Rosé said, smiling. “Maybe you just felt all hot and bothered because Jinyoung—”

Jisoo, in her whole life, had never moved as quick as she did as when she jumped out of bed and bolted toward the opposite bed. Rosé and Jennie squealed as they jumped off the bed and ran away, out of Jisoo’s range of attack. Which ended up being a mistake since, seeing her up and out of bed, Blackpink’s manager determined that Jisoo was well enough to attend the Inkigayo producers’ meeting after all.

“Be ready in ten minutes!” their manager said, closing the door behind her, leaving Jisoo to stand in front of the mirror alone. Jisoo slapped his palms over her temples and clenched her eyes shut again. She opened and let out a mute, panicked scream.

The entire car ride over to the SBS Building, Jisoo fidgeted with her hands and her hair. 

God, what would she say to him? Would he bring up last night’s text conversation again? She hoped he wouldn’t. Please don’t, Jinyoung. . Her nerves were a wreck. The drive into the city felt like she was floating aimlessly in space. She normally didn’t get car-sick but today she was feeling slightly woozy.

What would he say? What would she say in reply? What if he didn’t say anything? Should she say something? And Doyoung, what if he noticed her acting weird and then he said something? 

“Just chill out, just chill out,” Jisoo started whispering under her breath as she clenched and unclenched her fists. Just be cool, she thought. Maybe he wouldn’t say anything at all. 

Jisoo felt like a ghost walking through the halls of the SBS building, escorted by her manager. Her eyes darted back and forth, right and left, simultaneously anxious to see Jinyoung and hoping not to see him. One inside, a producer handed her the script for the day and began pointing out some changes they had made. Jisoo tried her best to concentrate and take her mind off her blunder. The producer was in the middle of telling her that they would begin the day’s recording with the MC’s special stage when the door of the waiting room opened again, and in walked Doyoung and Jinyoung.

Jisoo felt like her heart had jumped straight up into at the sight of him. He was wearing a blue sweater and jeans, a typical outfit of his. Having just walked in, there wasn’t a spot of makeup anywhere on his face. Instead, his skin glowed with light perspiration. His hair was loose and soft and fell gently over his forehead and Jisoo was finding it harder and harder to breathe.

God, why did he have to look so beautiful all the time? And naturally so. It was almost upsetting that he could look so good without a stylist’s help. Jisoo thought she looked okay with makeup of heavy styling, but god knows she didn’t look that good in the morning. 

“Jisoo, are you listening?” asked the producer. “Jisoo-ssi!”

Jisoo snapped back to attention, but the way the producer shouted her name had caught Jinyoung and Doyoung’s attention, too. 

“Are you nervous, noona?” Doyoung asked, smiling as he slid into a chair to get his makeup done. “It’s not like this is gonna be your first time performing. And hyung’s song is really good.”

Jisoo laughing nervously. She turned her attention back to the producer who was explaining when they would go up and perform their “confession.” Doyoung had been given a sweet ballad by his DBSK seniors to sing. Jisoo, it was decided, would sing a bit of 2NE1’s “I Love You,” and Jinyoung would bring up the back end of the performance by singing GOT7’s “Confession Song.”

She nodded intermittently, trying not to look sideways and confirm her suspicion that Jinyoung might be looking at her. She thought she could see him in the corner of her eye, turning his head in her direction. He was sitting in a chair like the one Doyoung sat in, getting his makeup done. 

They weren’t usually this quiet. Jisoo eyed Doyoung, too, and she could tell that he was sensing a change in the atmosphere. They weren’t usually this quiet, the three of them. Once the producer finished briefing her, he turned to the boys and gave them the same quick run-down. Jisoo, meanwhile, was led out of the room for a minute to change into her stage outfit: a flowy, lilac dress, soft and romantic to suit the atmosphere of the stage. She paced out in the hallway for a minute, using the excuse that she wanted to run through some vocal exercises alone, but it was really just a chance to calm herself again.

“Chillax, Chichu, just relax,” she said, pressing the heels of her palms to her forehead. “You are stressing this out way too much, he hasn’t even said anything. Maybe he forgot the whole thing.”

She shook out her shoulders to calm herself. Then, putting on a brave face, she walked back to the door of the waiting room. She was about to turn the door handle and enter, but before she could, the door swung open, and Jisoo found herself standing face-to-face with Jinyoung.

He was hair and makeup ready and had changed into his stage outfit: a simple khaki pants and blazer ensemble, but it did wonders for his appearance. Not that he needed any help looking good, he was naturally handsome. But suddenly being so close to him, Jisoo felt her nerves overwhelming her again. She even let out a small, audible whimper as she leaned sharply away.

Jinyoung instinctively put a hand onto her shoulder to steady her. A concerned look was on his face.

“You okay?” he said. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were… are you okay?”

Jisoo nodded mutely. “I’m fine!” she said, laughing nervously. “I’m okay. I was about to go inside when you came out and… yeah.”

Her words trailed off at the end as she stared into his face and slowly forgot what she was about to say. She could feel her cheeks getting hot. Jinyoung smiled reassuringly. 

“Good,” he said. “Well, it’s almost time to take our places on stage, we should get going.”

“Right,” Jisoo said. “Let’s go.”

The team of producers and staff accompanied the MCs to the recording area. There were already hoards of adoring fans filling the auditorium and Jisoo put on a happy smile for her fans’ sake. Jinyoung and Doyoung were both looking down at their scripts one last time, ensuring that they knew their lines by heart. Jisoo felt bad that she wasn’t doing the same. Crew ran back and forth across the staging area, making last minute changes to the set, which was decorated with flowers and stars and soft, romantic lighting. 

All the while, the three MCs stood side-by-side, waiting for their cue to get on stage and take their places. Jisoo’s heart was pounding once more, a new sensation, since she didn’t often feel nervous before a performance. She gripped her microphone tightly, palms sweating.

“Jisoo?” Jinyoung said softly. Jisoo tensed.

“Huh?” she said. 

When Jinyoung didn’t say anything, Jisoo turned to face him slowly. There was a look on his face. One that she couldn’t read, but she could tell that he wanted to say something. She pressed her lips into a tight, flat line and raised her brows.

“Yes?” she said again.

Jinyoung’s mouth opened slightly, but then instead of speaking, he gave her a half-smile.

“Nevermind,” he said. “Uh… good luck today. Don’t be nervous, you’ll be fine.”

“Oh,” Jisoo said. Why did she feel so disappointed? “Thank you.”

Jinyoung’s shoulders fell slightly as he let out a sigh. Then, he turned back to his script and Doyoung tapped his shoulder to ask a question.

Was that it? Jisoo felt relieved that Jinyoung didn’t seem interested in discussing her latest mishap, but she wondered why she suddenly felt so… empty? 

The bell rung and the director instructed them to take their places on stage. Jisoo walked over to stage right and stood in her spot. Doyoung was first up in their stage. He was to sing a few parts from a DBSK song. Jisoo would follow after him. NCT fans in the auditorium screamed his name when the music started and the cameras started rolling. Doyoung did his thing, belted out his parts with grace and confidence. Jisoo did her best to force her nerves away and perform her best. She was ever mindful of Jinyoung, who was standing just a few paces behind her, waiting for his turn. 

Doyoung finished his part and returned to his spot. The music changed and the lighting shifted. Jisoo looked up, smiled her idol smile and lifted the mic to . 2NE1’s song had a bit of different feel compared to Doyoung’s ballad. Where Doyoung’s performance was dramatic and theatrical, Jisoo’s performance was a bit more powerful and playful. While she sang 2NE1’s “I Love You,” Jisoo tried her best to banish all thoughts of her earlier anxiety.

But then her performance ended and she returned to her spot. Jinyoung’s part, “Confession Song” was to be the main point of the performance. The lights changed once more so that three lone spotlights focused on the three MCs. Jinyoung turned around. Jisoo didn’t know why she stared at him since it wasn’t in the plan nor in their rehearsal, but as Jinyoung spun around to face the audience, he found himself staring her straight in the eye instead. Jinyoung lifted his mic and sang:

“I’m in love with you,” why are these words so hard?

I keep hesitating to say it over and over again

Why is it so hard just to write a simple letter?

I keep writing it and tearing it over and over again

Jisoo tried not to get lost in his voice. She still had her own part of the song to do. She lifted her mic and sang after him:

You may not feel the same way as I do

I may never see you again

That’s what I’m afraid of 

I don’t have the courage to tell you

With this song, let me open my heart to you

Doyoung joined them in the chorus, the three of them singing “I love you,” but where Doyoung looked confidently into the audience and smiled radiantly, Jinyoung could only seem to look at Jisoo and she at him. I love you, baby I love you.

Stop looking at me, Jisoo thought, her cheeks coloring again, but she was unable to drop her smile, for the audience’s sake. Stop looking at me like that, she thought. Look at the audience, they’ve gone through a lot to be here. Sing to them, not to me. What is with that look in your eyes? Why do this? You must know what you do to me. 

Somehow, in the middle of the performance, Jisoo looked back at Jinyoung and found him, once again, looking at her. She thought she felt something snap inside her. She couldn’t hear the music anymore. moved and her voice sang all on their own, for her soul wasn’t in the song anymore, it was here, in the thread of nameless emotion that connected her gaze with his and kept her from looking away. She felt her singing voice beginning to waver as she sang her lines:

I love you, baby I love you.

This wasn’t a performance. Not anymore. 

{to be continued}

A/N: I am actually really blown away by the response to this, I thought I was a lone JinJi shipper, but it so nice to see that there are actually more of us! Thank you for all the enthusiasm and support! Please stay tuned for part 3, which may be the last part, and pray for me as I draft my senior thesis *cries*

Also, please listen to GOT7's "Confession Song" if you haven't heard it, it is one of my favorite GOT7 songs ever. Also, could you imagine Jinyoung singing this song to Jisoo? omg