Kibum waited until he was off watch duty before climbing into his tent he pitched earlier that night and tied it close. Without the heat of the numerous fires, the chill of the night air began to seep deep into his bones. His horse was sitting just outside his tent, thick blanket put over him. His massive body gave the tent a little warmth, but Kibum still pulled out many blankets, including the one Jinki packed especially for him. The warm scent of the man filled the tent and Kibum’s heart ached a little. He grabbed the lantern by the closed tent flap and pulled out the letter Jinki had given him before he headed out to report. With a deep breath, he pulled open the wax seal and opened the letter to begin to read.

Dear Kibum,

Here’s to a quick and safe deployment. I am not quite sure what they need you to do in their conquests, but I have so much hope and certainty in your abilities that it is the uneasiness of not knowing what the people you will be up against have at their disposal that makes me as worried as I am right now. Saying goodbye isn’t what’s hard for me Kibum, it’s the idea that it may be the last time. I’ve told you how I feel about you going off to war, and while I understand they are your orders and you cannot ignore them, I wish you never had to leave me. I’ve always been stuck in the middle of wanting to keep you close to home where the most dangerous thing you would come across is a wolf in the woods when hunting and knowing how much the honor and structure of the military means for you. I don’t want to ask you to not reenlist because your father and grandfather kept that legacy alive in you before they passed.  It’s your connection to the family you’ve lost.

I love you so much Kibum. There’s something within you that just pulls me toward you. It was present when I ran into you in those woods thirteen years ago and it’ll be in you when I see you off in just a little while. You have a fire within your heart, and you make me feel so warm and ablaze every time you look at me. I’ve thought a lot about you leaving the last couple days. We both knew orders would come again, and though I never imagined it would be war so soon since the last great war that killed your father and grandfather ended…. After a lot of turmoil, I must ask you if this could be the last deployment. When you return to me will you put up your mantel as a member of the military and be happy with just being mine completely?

Until Next time,

Jinki

Kibum slowly rereads the letter as his eyes got blurry with forming tears. Guilt pooled in his belly at his lover’s words. He had so much hope that he’d return to his arms after all this, but the real meaning behind the coded orders nagged at the back of Kibum’s mind. He pulled out the parchment from his pack and slowly began to write a letter to be sent out in the morning. He hoped his words sounded more optimistic than he felt.

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The first letter from Kibum arrived just over two weeks after the man had departed. Jinki had been kneading dough when he heard the bell outside his door being rung. He popped his head around the corner, hands covered in flour as he tried uselessly to wipe them off on his apron. It sky was still pitch black as he approached the door with a candle lit in a lantern. “How may I help you?”

“A letter has arrived from the army,” The man smiled wide, pulling out the envelope. “Jinki Lee correct?”

“Ah yes,” Jinki felt excitement and worry bubble up, “Thank you.”

With a tip of his hat, the man continued on his way. Jinki closed and locked the door as he held the letter in his hand. Luckily he knew the layout of the place better than anything because he quickly opened the letter and began to read as he walked back to where he was working. It wasn’t the smartest decision with the only real light coming from the candle in the lantern. He found a place by the fire where the first few loaves were baking and finished reading.

Dear Jinki,

We rode until the horses could no longer handle it and the terrain began to be too rough to pass in the low light of the moon. I know how hard it was for you to ask me to give up my position in the military, but I wish you weren’t in such turmoil over it. You should know I’d give up anything for you. The army was my connection to my family I had lost, but it was what was expected of me and a way to take care of myself. The wage at first wasn’t much, but it was more than what I had before. When I get home to you I’ll put in my papers to step away. You should realize though that me stepping away just means that more tiny cupcakes will be taken on average than they already are.

In time we’re going to be heading up into the mountains which mean the air is going to start getting a chill to it and I am not happy about it. I miss the warmth of your arms already. The blanket you gave me is already helping me feel safe enough to fall asleep. I hope business is going well and that you are smiling again so easily as you do when I’m there. I can’t write much for I need to rest before we set out again early in the morning. I love you. I look forward to hearing from you again Love.

Love,

Kibum

Jinki’s heart swelled at the softly curved words. He had to finish the bread for the day before opening soon and after closing, he would write his reply. He folded the letter again and slipped it back into the envelope. Once it was pushed onto the highest step he could reach from the ground floor he returned to making bread. He still had to fill his obligation to the military in the form of a few dozen loaves.

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The soft green grass was slowly melding into frozen land, the soft breeze changing into fridge air and snowflakes, and white clouds with blue skies turned into gray stormclouds. Kibum frowned deeply as he shifted his gaze to the woods to the far left of him. He was ordered to ride on just in front of the King and the higher generals, to act as the first layer of protection. The sun was setting and that left him a deep dread feeling filling his chest. He knew walking through the narrow mountains was like asking to be attacked, but he was unsure who was the best case scenario; bandits of the area or the Kingdom they were on the way to destroy. All they needed to do was make it to the giant lake in the valley just past the line of thick trees about a mile ahead before nightfall and they would be safe until morning. This whole thing hinged on their movements being masked and kept secret from the Kingdom of Agasha. The closer they got the increased chance of there being loyal scouts along their path.

His fingers were curled around his bow that was lying over his thighs. He didn’t have to hold the reigns of his horse for he trusted the mare with his life. He leaned down to run his hand over her strong neck, “You’re not going to enjoy the snow Girl. Not at all.” She shook her head with a whinny. Kibum chuckled. “My sentiments exactly.”

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Dear Kibum,

It seems like there’s someone from the military asking for more bread, more rolls, more everything that I can give. As you may know, the military doesn’t pay much for the services they demand of their people. I’m running thin Kibum, but no matter what I say that still expect the orders ready in the front of the shop every two days like clockwork.

 I miss you something. I wake up to an empty bed and for a moment I think you’re just gone to get a drink of water, or to relieve yourself, but then the sheets are cold and I remember you’re on your way to somewhere far colder. I often think of the time we traveled up there during the hot summer months a few years ago. I remember the ancient stone walls, the buildings that have stood for thousands of years, and I wonder what could make our King want to destroy it all. There’s so much history in terribleAgasha, our history as the human race, it saddens me to think something trivial is going to cause it all to go up in flames.

When you return maybe we could go south, take a boat or ride down to the hot springs of Galie. My body aches from all the unusual heavy lifting I have been doing lately and I know after a deployment you sound like a bag of stale bread cracking with every movement. It’ll start getting colder here too. The leaves are beginning to change again. I wish we could go out to the cottage, see the way the trees turn beautiful colors, the air gaining a slight chill and even more so late at night. I thought about going there one of these days for a break of a sort, but I know it won’t be the same without you to keep me warm through the night. I hope you’re staying warm where you are Baby. It’s been a very long two months without you Kibum, but your letters have given me a part of you while you’re away. I look forward to the next.

Love,

Jinki

Kibum gently ran his fingers over the soft parchment, a small smile pulling at his lips. The paper still managed to smell like their home, like fresh baked bread and the slight hint of the vanilla incenses Jinki burned in their rooms above the bakery. It was then he checked the envelope, and in the bottom where two incenses. Kibum chuckled quietly, pulling one out to bring it to his nose. His eyes fluttered close as the memories attached to the smell rushed forward. How many kisses they shared as Jinki just lit one, the long nights of lovemaking by the fire, and how his clothes still smelt of it when he went hunting so much so that he had to cover them with mud to mask the scent from his prey.

He ruffled through his pack to the bound stack of letters from Jinki and extra papers he has folded. He pulled out one and peeled the wax from the new letter to remelt it for his seal. He wished he was there to massage the ache out of Jinki’s shoulders. He worried about Jinki bad knee and how his back acted up if he carried too much for too long. He wanted to be home to help him, take a little load off of him as he could. The wind blew hard against the tent and Kibum frowned as he pulled the layers of blankets back over him. At this rate, they’d lose more people to the snow than to a sword. He wanted Jinki, his own personal heater, back.

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Dear Jinki,

Going to Galie sounds wondrous Love. After our makeshift marriage, we went there remember? One thing I’ll never forget was your silhouette in that steam, the way you smiled at me when I called your name, my husband, and how sweet you tasted as you swam over to me. It’d be a nice coming home present, just after having you in my arms.

It’s freezing here.  There’ are more snow and ice than solid ground at this point. There have been carriages of bread and food for us coming. I know which is yours just by breaking it in half and the aroma just wafts out. It’s still not as good as the fresh bread just pulled out of the oven, but it’s as close to home as I can get this far away.

I can’t write much love, not this time. We’re in enemy territory so scouts are more likely, which means fewer letters home. I love you and miss you. I’ll see you as soon as I can. Don’t push yourself too much, meeting the military’s order is not worth your wellbeing.  Goodbye Love.

Until next time,

Kibum

Jinki brought Kibum’s shirt up over his nose, eyes fluttering close for just a moment before he looked back at the letter in his lap. Four months since he had slept in the same bed as Kibum, and it was starting to only smell of himself. The flames of the candles flickered in the soft breeze from the slightly open window. It was getting chilly, and he’d have to close it before bed. His skin tingled gently at the memory of their time in Galie years before, a soft smile on his lips as he laid his head back and remembered. Memories were powerful things. He just hoped he’d have the opportunity to make more with Kibum.

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The huge city of Agasha could be seen on the horizon, ancient and beautiful, and it pained Kibum to know it would all be in flames in the next few days if everything went as planned. He had his orders, knew the way through the woods and up to the northern mountain. No letters had come from Jinki other than the last, telling him how the number of loaves on the order have increased, but the number of orders have decreased significantly. He flexed his fingers over the grip on his bow and sighed, boots crunching in the snow as he pushed off the hill to return to his men to tell them their orders. How was he going to tell his men he was leading them to their deaths soon enough.

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Jinki tried to put the lack of letters to what Kibum told him and not worry that the reason they weren’t coming was that something happened to Kibum hindering him from replying to his last message. Soldiers just left with the last order of bread and Jinki really didn’t feel up to opening the store for the day, but he needed the income. He was taken from his thoughts when the bell over the door jingled as he shifted his eyes from the flames flickering in the fire he bakes his bread in, to the person entering his shop. He put a big smile on his face at the sight of the little girl. “Why hello Miss. How may I help you today?”

“My Pa gave me money for a peach danish.”

Jinki moved over to the display and pulled out the tray to put it on the counter so she could see. “Which one would you like Sweetie?”

“The middle one please Mister.”

He wrapped it carefully and exchanged it for the money. “Have a good day.”

“You too Mister!”

The sweet innocence of the child almost took the darkness of worry from his heart for just a moment.

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When the horn sounded over the wall Kibum finished cutting down the enemy and looked up. It was when he heard the loud rumbling noise that he turned to look further up the mountain. Snow was falling, twisting and twirling around itself as it descended over the mountain, and dread filled Kibum. “Fall back!” He yelled over the commotion of the battle and the sound of the avalanche. He spotted his horse dashing through the retreating men, but he saw an injured soldier he stopped running. He pushed his arm around the man and lifted, “Stay with me, you’ll be okay.”

He helped the soldier up onto the saddle and latched on his bow. He grabbed the man’s hand and made sure he was looking at him. “If I don’t make it, take that to the baker.” He hit the horse on her and she dashed off, Kibum swallowed thickly as he began to run, mumbling, “God help us.”

He heard the snow, felt the sprinkle of cold on the back of his neck before he looked back to see how close it was. Darkness was falling around him when he saw his horse making it around the thick walls. This must have been their final defense, the reason the Kingdom of Agasha had lasted for thousands of years and outlived so many more powerful kingdoms around it. The walls could withstand the avalanche. As the snow reached him and darkness fell he only had one thought. I’m sorry Jinki.

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