Mina has to give it to Dahyun for her A game in flirting. She hasn’t seen Sana being so flustered since forever, and she must admit it’s fun to see her usually confident friend being in such a mess. She heard Jihyo telling them that Chaeyoung would be joining them later, and Mina is actually looking forward to meet the genius composer of the team. What kind of a person is this Chaeyoung, who writes all the songs for TM, who the other members have overflowing adoration for and who shares the same name as the Chaeyoung she knows (and loves)? She pushes down the nagging feeling that this Chaeyoung and that Chaeyoung is the same person. South Korea has a population of 50 million, what are the odds that they are one and the same, right?

A raucous laughter rings out from behind the door before it is opened, and she sees Jeongyeon’s face light up in recognition at the newcomer. “Yah, what a rare guest we have today.”

Dahyun also looks at the newcomer, teasing look already on her face. “As expected, only Yerim can bring the great caveman out of her cave.”

A very familiar laughter rings from behind her, and Mina instantly freezes. Sometimes, the more you think it won’t happen, the more it will happen, as if fate is trying to with you on purpose. She appears at the foot of their table, grinning at Sana and exchanging a handshake with her. Even with the new short cut and specs, Mina recognizes that face, thinks that she can still recognize it even if it is burnt into ashes. She sees the way she laughs, revealing her crooked teeth as she shares a joke with Dahyun, sees the way curve up into a smile, the dimples showing (like how she remembered it to be) and she sees the sparkle in her eyes, and Mina thinks she had made a good decision to let her go that day.

She’s brought back into reality by Dahyun’s introduction and Mina locks eyes with her as she turns to look at her, the genius composer of TM, the girl she was and is still in love with. Son Chaeyoung. She sees the smile drop from her face immediately, the previous carefree demeanor gone, replaced with stoic stares of disbelief. Mina takes it back, she knows it wasn’t a good decision when she sees the light in Chaeyoung’s eyes extinguished, knows it wasn’t a good decision when she can literally feel the heartbreak in her eyes and words.

“What a ing joke.” Chaeyoung mutters, but she might as well be shouting it because Mina heard it loud and clear. She’s gone just as fast as she came, and the whole room is shocked into silence, all of them reeling from the turn of events.

Jeongyeon gets up from her seat, smiling sheepishly. “She’s usually not like that, she’s probably just on her period or something. I will go get her, you guys continue.”

--

Chaeyoung doesn’t know how long she’s been running, but her legs and lungs are on fire. There is not a single soul in sight and she finds a bench to plop down on. She pulls out her phone, the notifications filled to the brim with missed calls and texts from her members. She turns it off. She isn’t in the mood to explain herself, at least for right now. She thinks about the places she can go to avoid her members; the dorm and studio is out of the question, she contemplates about going back to her parents’ place, but knows that is too obvious a hiding spot. She sighs. There is only one option.

It takes her an hour to walk to her private hideout, but it clears her head. She makes her way into the building, the lift dysfunctional as always, the lobby still smelling like piss. She takes the stairs to the fifth floor, and stands outside the door to the apartment. She has bought over it a long time ago, but she hasn’t found the time (and courage) to actually visit it. Making up her mind, she uses her key to unlock the door, taking in the surroundings slowly. She lets out a sigh of disbelief. She had purposely bought and placed furniture to make it as similar to last time as possible but it’s so similar that Chaeyoung wonders if she has made the wrong choice, it’s as if she was never gone, never left.

She can still see everything from here, all the fragments of her, of them in every nook and cranny of the apartment. The bed where they used to practice the script together, where they used to cuddle together, the kitchen where it all ended. Chaeyoung can almost hear the screams, almost smell the pancake mix, almost sees the way the bowl breaks as she throws it against the wall. It’s ironic that she ran away from her, just to run back to where it all started.

Chaeyoung chuckles as she picks up the chair, throwing it against the wall swiftly. It lands with a bang, but doesn’t break and she thinks her heart is weaker than the goddamn chair, because her heart got broken by a girl in just one try. She stomps towards it, furious, as she picks it up and bangs it against the wall, floor, any surface she can find until it is in tatters. She moves on to the next furniture in her blind fury, and it’s only when everything that can be destroyed is destroyed that she sinks to the floor beside all the mess she created. She looks at the mess around her and laughs bitterly. She is just like the wrecked furniture around her, a mess.

--

It's all my fault, Mina thinks as she enters the hotel room she shares with Sana. Needless to say, the mood was totally dampened after Chaeyoung’s stunt and they had to call it a night. The TM members apologized for the cub’s rash and totally uncalled for behavior, but Mina knows exactly why she reacted that way.

Sana had been quiet the whole ride back, but it seems like she couldn't control herself anymore, standing before Mina who is seated on her bed. It seems like she has put one and one together, staring at Mina with her arms crossed. “It's her, isn't it?”

Yes, apparently in this life, she's only destined to meet this one Chaeyoung (and she doesn't know if that's a curse or a blessing). She nods and Sana let's out a sigh of relief. “Thank god! I thought she was one of those rude stuck up celebrity!”

Mina looks at her as if she grew another head. She just met with this girl she harshly ended things with and that is all she was worried about?! The reality finally dawns on Sana that this is not just TM’s Chaeyoung, but also the Chaeyoung-who-was-dumped-by-Mina. She clears as she plops down beside Mina. “Well I mean, you deserve it! If it's me, I would have cussed you out more than that.”

That much is true, Mina thinks and sighs. She didn't care if she got cussed out by Chaeyoung, but she couldn't stand the hurt she saw in her eyes, and to know that she was the one who singlehandedly caused it. She buries her face in her palms, the look Chaeyoung gave her before she left haunting her. Sana takes her into her embrace, patting her on the head.

After a few minutes when Sana feels that Mina is considerably calmed down, she tries to lighten the atmosphere. “Hey, at least the heartbreak you gave her helped her write dope songs.”

Mina immediately pulls away from Sana, sending a light hit to the latter’s shoulders. She didn't care two hoots about TM and their music before, but everything is different now. “Can I… listen to their songs?”

Sana gasps exaggeratedly. “Of course! See! If you had listened to me and listened to their songs earlier you would have found out it was her earlier!”

She opens her library to TM’s discography and places it gently in Mina’s hands. Sensing she needs private time, Sana stands up and heads to the bathroom. “I'm going to take a shower, holler at me if you need anything.”

Mina stares at the screen, clicking on the first track she sees. She doesn't know how long has passed, but song after song about heartbreak plays and she's not sure if it's because she imagines Chaeyoung writing them, or if it's because of her voice that appears occasionally in those songs, but it hurts. The pillow she's lying on is stained with her tears and she finds herself drifting off to sleep, weighted down by pain, worries and unsaid apologies.

--

Jihyo tries Chaeyoung’s phone again, but it’s directed to the voicemail for the umpteen times. She shakes her head at her members, Jeongyeon frowning and even the usual cheerful Dahyun is just sitting quietly at a corner. Nayeon gets off her phone. “Her parents said she didn’t go home last night.”

“Where could she be?” Jeongyeon asks, frown deepening as she closes her eyes and rubs her temples.

They haven’t heard from the cub ever since the outburst at the restaurant, and they are all worried sick. They can’t find her in her usual hangout spots, and she didn’t even go back home to her parents’ place. The worst thing was, they had a photoshoot in an hour, and they might risk losing this endorsement with this brand if Chaeyoung is still nowhere to be found by then. Nayeon tilts her head back to rest against the couch with a huge sigh. The girl is going to get it from her when they find her.

Their manager enters the room, who is followed by Chaeyoung who just trudges behind him nonchalantly, as if she didn’t just disappear for one whole night. Nayeon springs up, furious as she makes her way to Chaeyoung who just takes a seat to get her make-up. “Where have you been?!”

“Somewhere.” Chaeyoung just answer vaguely.

“This isn’t funny Son Chaeyoung! Do you know we nearly lost this endorsement deal just because you didn’t turn up?!” Nayeon fumes, Jeongyeon already at her side, trying to calm her down.

“I’m sorry.” Chaeyoung replies with her eyes closed but it doesn’t appease Nayeon, the girl continuing to rant. “This is a team, it’s not only about you! Is this your first day working? You know fully well that we are not supposed to bring our emotions with us when we work! Especially when we are celebrities who are constantly in the public’s eyes.”

Chaeyoung’s eyes flicker open and she stands up from her seat. “Look, I said I’m sorry, okay? What else do you want me to do? Post an apology letter online?”

Jihyo steps in before it gets worse, pushing both of them away from each other. “Chaeng, go get your outfit from the stylists first.”

The cub steps out of the room, trying not to show her frustration. Nayeon huffs as she points at the retreating view of Chaeyoung. “Did you see that attitude?! How do you bring up your daughter?!”

Jeongyeon pushes her down in a chair, massaging her shoulders in an attempt to soothe her anger. Jihyo raises an eyebrow. “Wow, now that she’s acting out, she’s my daughter now?”

Dahyun coughs, not wanting another fight to break out. “Let's just wait for her to tell us what that was about. She will tell us when she’s ready.”

Jeongyeon agrees readily. “Yeah, give her some time.”

There's nothing else they can do anyway, all of them deciding to put this issue aside until Chaeyoung is ready to tell them.

--

Chaeyoung is treating her wounds from her outburst last night when she sees Dahyun putting on her hoodie and she raises her eyebrows. It’s almost midnight, and usually by this time the dubu will be dead to the world, but here she is dressing to head out. “Where are you going?”

Dahyun freezes like a thief caught in action. “Somewhere.”

The vague reply just makes Chaeyoung’s eyebrows raise higher. She crosses her arms as she stares at Dahyun defiantly, demanding an answer. The both of them stare at each other, neither backing down until Dahyun compromises with a, “If I tell you where I’m going, you have to tell me what yesterday was about. And also, those wounds. And where you went yesterday.”

Chaeyoung chuckles. “That doesn’t seem like a good deal for me.”

The unwavering stare of Dahyun tells Chaeyoung she’s not backing down from this one. Her curiosity got the better of her as she sighs. “Fine.”

“I’m going to the airport to send Sana off.” Dahyun spills first and the thought of wanting to flashes across Chaeyoung’s mind, but the thought that Sana is leaving hits her imminently. If Sana is leaving, that means Mina is leaving too. And she might really never see her again this time. She springs up from her seat. “I’m coming with you.”

--

Dahyun doesn’t know if she wants to punch Chaeyoung more or punch herself more for not catching on quicker. She should have known, only one person could elicit such a huge emotional response from her usually calm and collected friend. And that also explains why Jeongyeon and her found Mina familiar, the beauty as striking as before, but the face difficult for them to pinpoint in the depths of their memory. But she thinks she wants to punch Mina the most, finally meeting the person who broke her friend’s heart to pieces again.

She would never forget how Chaeyoung broke down in front of them that day, and the months it took for her to finally come out of her shell. She swore to make her pay for it, but now that she finally met her, she’s not sure how to go about with it.

The cab pulls up in front of the departure hall and Dahyun hops off, hoping to meet the two Japanese as soon as possible, not sure if it’s because she wants to take revenge for her small friend, or because she’s excited to see Sana. She pulls Chaeyoung along, searching for the check-in counter they are supposed to be at, only to be stopped by a tug on her hand. Chaeyoung suddenly looks smaller, worry and fear written all over her face. (Dahyun adds that into the never-ending list of ‘Things to punch Myoui Mina for’.)

“I… I will just wait for you somewhere.” Chaeyoung mutters and Dahyun flares up even more. Why is she so afraid when she’s the one who was left behind? She should go to her with her head up to demand answers.

“Why?! You have done nothing wrong! You deserve to know why she did what she had done.” Dahyun almost screams at her.

“The truth is, I’m not sure I’m ready to hear it yet.” Chaeyoung speaks so softly Dahyun could barely hear her. “I… I would like to at least believe that what we had was real. To have even that taken away from me… I… I really might not be able to take it unnie.”

Dahyun clenches her fist. She might really just land it on Myoui Mina’s face later. “Okay. You stay around, okay? I will come back for you later after they go off.”

Chaeyoung nods without spirit as Dahyun heads to the check-in counter for the Japan flight. She spots her target among the other passengers easily, Sana with her hoodie up and a mask over her face as they sit at the waiting area. Covering up sometimes bring even more attention to themselves. Dahyun makes her way to the girl, instantly seeing Mina beside her, engrossed in the papers she’s reading and she resists the urge to just run over and land a punch on that beautiful face that got her friend so smitten. She keeps her fists to herself, standing before the two of them.

Sana’s eyes widen dramatically when she sees Dahyun in front of her, instantly rising to her feet, almost tumbling over herself in her haste. “Da-Dahyun-ssi! What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to send you off.” Dahyun beams, and she sends a glare towards Mina, seeing no need to be polite to the person who hurt her friend so badly. This doesn’t go unnoticed by both Mina and Sana, and Sana immediately chuckles awkwardly, trying to dispel the tension in the air. She says something in Japanese to Mina, and the latter nods before leaving her seat, avoiding Dahyun’s unwavering gaze as she walks away.

“Hey, I thought that stare was reserved only for me.” Sana jokes, moving Dahyun’s attention back to her.

“It is, I’m staring at her for a totally different reason altogether.” Dahyun grits her teeth, not even realizing that she has confessed indirectly. Sana just beams as she sits back down, tugging Dahyun along with her.

“Relax, I know.” She coaxes and Dahyun stares at her with her eyebrows raised. “You know?”

Dahyun doesn’t know if Sana actually knows what she’s talking about, and if she does, how much she knows. Sana shifts to face Dahyun properly, a small smile gracing her features. “Mina isn’t a bad person, it’s just… they met at the wrong time.”

Dahyun would have snorted if she didn’t actually like the girl in front of her. She’s her manager, of course Sana’s going to side with her. “Do you even know how badly Chaeng was affected?”

“Of course I do!” Sana scoffs. “I listened to every song that she wrote.”

“Then you should know very well how much she struggled.” Dahyun finds the anger in her raising again.

“I know but they met under circumstances that are… less than desirable. I’m sure Mina will be able to do a better job the second time around.” Sana discloses. “You will help me help them right?”

Dahyun gives her a look that tells her she’s not fully convinced and Sana pouts as she pulls the best puppy eyes she can muster. She sighs. How is she even supposed to say no to that face? Sana just grins, poking Dahyun’s cheeks. “Trust me.”

--

Chaeyoung finds herself in the convenience store, running her fingers through the numerous cuts on her hands as she spaces out. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to ruin all the furniture in that apartment; now she has to hire people to remove the mess and get new furniture. She sighs. She has to pay such a heavy price for her fury. Although it seems like whenever it comes to Mina, she always has to pay a lot, be it emotionally or financially.

She wonders if she should buck up her courage and head to where they are at. After all, that was the reason why she came with Dahyun, right? But it seems like this is the limit to her courage, stopping her from taking the last step. It’s true that she can finally get the closure she has been dying to get, but she might die in the process of it. She doesn’t want to love so hard, only to realize she was the only one in love. It would just make her feel so stupid, and so much more pathetic.

A figure blocks her view, and she looks up slowly, seeing the person she wanted to see the most and the least all at the same time. She doesn’t swear this time, doesn’t bolt this time, just stares at that beautiful face that she misses all these years, taking in all the details carefully, as if this is the last time she will ever see her (and it might just be). She looks healthier, no longer just skin and bones and the gloomy aura that used to stick to her is gone. It seems like the deal with the sugar dad really did helped her get better. She closes her eyes and grits her teeth, pressing harder on a particularly big cut, the pain keeping her in check. She doesn’t need you. Not then, not now.

Chaeyoung makes a move, having seen enough, just having enough of this situation but Mina grips her wrist. “Give me a moment.”

When Chaeyoung just stares at her, as if egging the other girl to convince her, Mina replies with a, “Please.”

That’s all it takes for Chaeyoung to plop back down in her seat again. Mina comes back with disinfectant and a box of plasters and stretches her hands out, asking for Chaeyoung’s hands. When she doesn’t comply, Mina just takes the liberty to reach across for her hands, putting them on the table as she starts to disinfect the wounds. No one says anything until Mina is starting to put the plasters to cover it.

“What’s the use of covering it up with a plaster? The harm is already done. It still hurts.” Chaeyoung states, and they both know she’s not just talking about the wounds on her hands. Mina freezes a little, before continuing her work on Chaeyoung’s hands. “I’m trying to make things better.”

“Then help me to understand you better too.” Chaeyoung answers, her courage in full force now. Mina lets go of her hands and sighs as she shifts in her seat uncomfortably. This wasn’t something they can avoid, so they might as well just get it out of the way once and for all. She nods, and Chaeyoung takes it as the cue to continue.

There’s so many questions she wants to ask, so many questions she’s dying to know the answer to, but she decides to start it off easy. “When did you go back to Japan?”

“I went back shortly after… our last meeting.” Mina phrases it neutrally, but they both know what a disaster their last meeting was.

“Why? What happened to your…” Chaeyoung can’t even bring herself to say it out. “Whatever.”

“Something… happened along the way and I didn’t have to do it. So I left and went back to Japan.”

Chaeyoung is not very sure how much Mina is and is not telling her, but what baffles her the most is how she could just talk about leaving so easily. Her anger surges up and gets the better of her. “Why? He didn’t fancy you anymore? He replaced you with other prettier and younger girls?”

That sounded harsh even to Chaeyoung herself, and it’s no wonder Mina got slightly mad at that. “I just didn’t feel good being a mistress, someone that will break someone else’s family, okay?”

And the indignant tone Mina used just fueled Chaeyoung’s rage even more. “But you felt good breaking someone’s heart?”

“Chaengie-“ Mina immediately starts, realizing that they had ruined this conversation as they run high on their own emotions, spilling words that they don’t really mean. But Chaeyoung has heard enough as she stands, making it clear that this conversation is over.

“Forget it. Forget I said anything.” She takes a few steps but stops. This may be the last time they will ever meet, what with their homes in different countries, so Chaeyoung thinks she shouldn’t be childish and just walk away from what might be the last meeting they will ever have. Maybe, closure doesn’t have to be given by Mina. Maybe, the closure she had always wanted is something she has to come to terms with herself. “Just... be happy. That's all I wish for you.” Even if it’s without me.  

--

a/n: had a thought to mark this as completed just to f with you guys but i shall be nice HAHAHAHAHA

also signal will be released at 6pm kst so pls SHOW LOTS OF SUPPORT FOR IT!!!