If I die,

The world would go on as if nothing has happened,

Nothing at all,

Right?

After all, no one would care, (Not really)

Sure some would shed a few tears,

And grieve for a few days,

A few weeks,

Months, maybe,

But eventually they’ll move on, (They have to)

Eventually they’ll forget, (Forget all about me)

Eventually my absence would no longer be felt,

Soon I’ll be nothing but a memory,

One that will be safely buried,

And tucked away,

One that will fade away with time,

And will soon be forgotten, (For good)

I won’t be missed, (Not as much)

Soon things would go back to the way they were,

Life will go on, (After all, it doesn’t stop for anybody)

As if nothing has happened,

And maybe,

In a way,

Nothing really did.

The brunette sighed as she felt the cool summer breeze caressing her pale complexion. She closed her eyes, wanting nothing more than to escape the cruel, sad, and dark world that held her captive. Wanting to be free. Wanting to feel at ease and at peace for once in her miserable life.

She slowly opened her hazel orbs and took in the beauty of the scene that was unfolding in front of her. The sun was setting down, slowly disappearing behind the icy blue waves. The sky was painted in various shades of red and orange, creating a magnificent work of art. The brunette was entranced, enchanted, even hypnotized by it all. Unknowingly a smile crept upon her lips as she kept on admiring the lovely scene.

The quiet roar of the waves as they crashed against one another was music to her ears. A simple melody that put her mind and body at ease. She felt the warm earth beneath her body and the cold air brushing against her skin. She felt relaxed. She felt at home, as if nothing could go wrong, as if nothing (And no one) could ruin this moment.

Here, no one could come and disturb her. No one.

She felt free of everything that weighted her down on earth. Free of problems. Free of any pain she’d ever felt. Free of everything. Every single thing. Of her parents constant nagging and disapproval. After all, nothing she ever did satisfied them. Nothing at all. They always had to criticize her and point out her short-comings. Always. It was unbearable. It truly was.

She was a straight A student. A model for many. Constantly praised by her teachers and admired and envied by her peers. Yet, in her parents eyes she’ll always remain that little girl who couldn’t do anything right. The troublemaker. The nuisance. The disappointment. The attention seeker.

Was it her destiny to live in the shadows of her siblings?

Was it?

The saddest thing was that she tried. (She really did) She tried as much as she could to get her parents approval but to no avail. She studied hard. Really hard. Maintained her ranking. (She was at the top of her class). Was student body president. And captain of the debate team. But that wasn’t enough. It never was. She simply wasn’t good enough. In her parents eyes she’ll never be good enough. She’ll never be as successful as her siblings. She’ll never be as beautiful and well-spoken as her sister or as athletic and talented as her brother. She’ll always be overshadowed by their long list of achievements. Whatever she does would never be enough. It never will. Never.

She was the black horse of the family. The person no one paid attention to. The person no one truly cared about. She was seen as a speck of dust and treated as such.

A bittersweet smile played on her lips. Her mothers’ so called constructive criticism (More like nagging) resonated throughout her mind. Her hurtful words stabbed her over and over again, cutting deeply, pulverizing her already bleeding heart.

“Why can’t you be more like your sister?”

That’s because I’m not my sister,

I’m not her,

I’m not.

I’m just me…

Is that so wrong?

 

“You never do anything right!”

I…

I’m sorry,

I’m trying my best,

I really am,

I am,

But that’s not enough, is it?

It never is.

 

“Make up doesn’t do wonders you know, you either got it or you don’t, and you clearly don’t”

Gee, thanks.

 

“You might look better if you lose all that weight”

Why?

Am I ugly now?

Is that it?

Why can’t you accept me the way I am?

Why can’t you love me the way I am?

Is it too much to ask?

Is it?

Mia looked down at her trembling hands. Tears fell down her cheeks. The warm liquid dripped on the sand, leaving a mark as if to engrave her pain and agony on this very land, in this very place.

Am I that unlovable?

Am I?

Tell me, am I?

I guess I am.

I am, aren’t I?

I’ll never be good enough, will I?

Not quite.

 

The brunette sniffled. She rocked back and forth, tears coursing down her doll-like features. She wanted. No, needed to let it all out. All the heartache. The pain. The hurt she kept bottled up inside her throughout these years.

 

I’m sorry,

I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment,

I’m sorry,

I really am.

But is it wrong of me to want your love and recognition?

Is it?

I guess I don’t deserve it, do I?

I guess I never did,

I never did.

Mia strived to make them proud. She worked really hard and studied her off to get good grades in order to be finally acknowledged by them. But she wasn’t. She never was. After all, what she did was never enough. It never was. (And it never will be)

Someone would always snatch away her spotlight. Someone would always take her away from the limelight. She waited and waited for her moment to shine, yet it never came. It never came.

Her parents didn’t even attend any of her piano recitals since her brother had his football matches. Of course he came in first. She always came in second. Always.

It’s normal for parents to want to cheer on their kid before his big game but what about her? Was she that unimportant in their eyes? Was she? Apparently, she was. She was.

I can’t even begin to describe the amount of pain she felt when she saw how supportive the other parents were. They proudly beamed as their kids played, showcasing their pearly whites. Some of them even teared up. Her heart ached when they embraced them in the end. The sight was endearing but she couldn’t help but feel jealous. After all, she had never experienced that feeling before. The feeling of being loved and cared for. But she wanted to. She wanted to. She really did. Was that selfish of her? Was it? Was it selfish of her to want to feel her parents love? Was it?

Tell me, was it?

However, she could clearly tell that it was a nice feeling. How? The bright smiles her friends adorned whenever they caught sight of their parents cheering them on was all the proof she needed.

Oh how she wished to have that. To have someone who’d be by her side at all times. Someone who’d love and accept her for who she was. Someone who’d support her no matter what. Someone who’d listen to her. (Just listen) Someone who’d lend her a helping hand. Someone who’d guide her and protect from what may come. Someone who’d mend her broken heart. Someone who’d fight away the demons that lurk in the back of her mind.

But she had no one.

No one to care for her,

To love her,

And to protect her.

She had no one,

No one but herself.

Mia was tired. So, so tired of everything. Of trying. Of breathing. Of living.

Everyone would be better off without me,

Without a nuisance such as myself in their life,

I’m sure they would,

They definitely would.

She wiped her tears with the back of her hand and failed to suppress another sob. She gazed at the clashing waves. She felt as if the ocean was calling to her. She was tempted to take a few steps and get engulfed in its depth. She wanted t