Chapter 37
The One Who Got AwayThree weeks. For three weeks Dara had been mulling over Jiyong’s decision to disappear from her and everyone else’s life. For three weeks she had also been keeping an eye out on news about Jiyong and his self-imposed hiatus but surprisingly his being MIA had gone under the media’s radar. For three weeks she had also kept her thoughts to herself, choosing not to talk about Jiyong to anyone, not even with Bom. For three weeks she had been trying to come to terms with herself on why oddly enough despite the initial sadness and the hurt of him leaving she had felt relief.
She heaved a sigh as she was finalizing the playlist for her segment later. Jae Suk had already reviewed it earlier and had given her his approval. For the past minutes the cursor had been hovering over the last songs she had included. She was itching to break her silence but she wasn’t looking forward to talking about it in detail with anyone yet either. She straightened up and finally decided to save the playlist as it is. The songs would serve as her confession. For now.
As the midnight hour went passed, Dara took a deep breath before saying, “I'm going to take this chance to do some confessing of my own to someone." Dara breathed deeply once more and went on to say, "I hope wherever you are this message reaches you. When we met once again I loved you like I never felt the pain but I was honestly still haunted by our memories. When we got back together I had thought that I was strong when I survived losing you once but I was wrong. I feel fragile next to you. Powerless. I hate you and love you for that."
"When you went away I felt equal parts of despair and relief. I know that loving hurts. You’re not the only one who also felt the need to leave. I also did. You may be the one who literally went away but I am also figuratively going away, too."
"Some days I might hate you for leaving but I am thankful that you made the tough choice for both of us. A choice that will make most people hate you but it is a choice that I understand. Because this love has become more of a burden that we can't carry anymore and it's honestly been keeping me down."
"Loving can hurt. Loving you hurts. But what choice do I have? Loving you has been the only thing my heart knows. You told me not to wait for you but I will. In the mean time let's both learn to live and run free. Once you have you come back home because I’ll be waiting for you to come and kiss me under the lamppost down the street from here."
“These songs are for you. Wherever you may be. Goodbye for now, Ji. Annyeong.” She then clicked on the button and the songs started to play on air.
Little Did You Know by Alex & Sierra
Little do you know
How I’m breaking while you fall asleep
Little do you know
I’m still haunted by the memories
Little do you know
I’m trying to pick myself up piece by piece
Little do you know
I need a little more time
Underneath it all I’m held captive by the hole inside
I’ve been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind
I’m ready to forgive you but forgetting is a harder fight
Little do you know
I need a little more time
I'll w
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