Hollow

The television was playing in front of them, but they weren’t paying attention to it. They never did. Jinki traced his finger around the loose button of Minho’s shirt as he laid in the other’s arms, listening to that steady heartbeat. He felt long fingers comb through his messy hair, and Jinki closed his eyes for a moment before looking up at Minho, who smiled down gently at him. It was radiant. It was breath-taking.

It wasn’t real.

Jinki jolted up from the bed, sweaty and panting. He could feel a migraine already kicking in the back of his head. The clock blinked “2:35 AM”, and Jinki sighed as he pulled his knees toward his chest. Always the same dream, but it seemed as if that was the only place he would be able to see Minho. Jinki’s shirt clung to sides and chest from the sweat, and the other ripped it off in disgust. He threw his legs over the edge of the bed and got up, grabbing the pack of cigarettes on the counter before going into the balcony. Jinki had managed to stop when Minho was with him, but now that the other was gone, he didn’t see any point in restraining himself anymore. He wasn’t a drinker, but he chose smoking and vaping as his poison. Jinki took out a cigarette before setting the rest of the pack on the railing. He lit it and inhaled deeply, allowing the bitter air to fill his lungs and numb his mind. The cold, night air slapped against his body, and Jinki blew out a long stream of smoke and watched it be carried away by the wind.

After going through half of the pack, Jinki heard rumbling in the distance, and he saw the clouds in the distance become more and more concentrated. A storm was coming.

The rain came down hard on Jinki as he stood in front of a wooden door, one that held memories and things he would rather forget. It was barely morning, but Jinki rang the doorbell. He heard it sound out from behind the door, and he waited with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his drenched hoodie. He had grown numb to the cold a long time ago, and Jinki knew he wouldn’t be able to feel anything until the door opened. When there was no response, Jinki tried knocking. And he waited again, with only the sounds of the rain to keep him company. It was probably his seventh time coming here, so no response was not surprising to Jinki. But tonight, tonight he was feeling desperate.

“I’m sorry…” The rain dripped down from Jinki’s lips and tasted like tears. “I’m so sorry…I was stupid, and I pushed you away. You were only trying to help and I—I took that for granted. I know- I know you don’t deserve someone as worthless as me, but—“Jinki took in a shaky breath. His eyes and throat burned and his muscles were incredibly tense from the cold, “I love you. I love you so much; I never stopped loving you. Without you, I just feel so empty and-and—“ Jinki’s breath hitched as he began sobbing, “I need you. P-Please, take me back. Please, Minho!” He yelled out the other’s name, loud enough to break through the sound of the rain and echo down the street. But only the wooden door stared back at him. Jinki took in a shaky breath and wiped the raindrops from his face before turning to leave. He would try again next time. Maybe next time—

All of a sudden, there was the sound of something unlocking, before the door swung open. Before Jinki even had a chance to look back, he felt himself being pulled into the house, and the door slammed shut behind him. The room was warm, so warm, and Jinki gazed up at the one he missed the most. The one he saw in his dreams and thought about without break. Jinki opened his mouth to speak but was silenced by Minho crashing their lips together. Immediately, Jinki’s senses were flooded: Minho’s scent, his taste, the warmth of his body, it was almost too much for Jinki to handle, but he tried. The scene felt so familiar, like how they had first met in the club. How they spent their first night together. How lust turned into love.

“Min—“

“Don’t push me away.”

The younger male’s thick, low voice sent shivers through Jinki’s body, and he wrapped his arms around the other’s neck, “No. Never again.” He promised and felt Minho pull back slightly, eyes glistening from within the dark space. Jinki finally noticed the other’s light brown hair. “Bed,” Jinki whispered as he leaned forward, so their lips were barely touching. “…I don’t think I can wait.” Minho mumbled back, and the two of them shared a look, desire burning in their eyes. Jinki’s mouth fell agape when Minho’s hand gripped his thigh, and he felt his back being pressed firmly against the door,

“I want to relearn everything about you. Memorize this body and this face. So you can never run away.” Minho whispered between kisses. Jinki could feel his heart threatening to burst from his chest, and he loved this feeling. The sense of being alive and with the love of your life. He almost forgot what it felt like.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

The deed is done.