Kissing Mino is more about lips and less about worries.

Kissing Jinwoo is more like being bathed by the sun, bright and warm. It makes him feels like home. 

Mino is mesmerized, his eyes capturing his face, every instant of that moment, recording it forever more.

It's just a kiss, a simple touch of lips but, still, he wants more, he wants Jinwoo's lips on places he has never know that could be kissed, he wants his hands cradling his cheeks, get lost on the ocean of warm and colour that are Jinwoo's spring eyes.  He wants him, all of him, his love. But Jinwoo lets go of him, breaking his embrace, pushing him away, gently but firmly. And Mino feels rejected, the coldness settling over his skin because he is not caressing him. He misses it, even if it stopped a second ago. It kind of hurts. 

"I'm... I'm sorry" Jinwoo mumbles, eyes down, full of sorrows. "Kissing Seungyoon-ah was an accident. Kissing you... It's a mistake" he says, apologetic, nipping nervously his lips.

Jinwoo's resolutions have died as quick as they have raised. He can't do that, not to him, not to the person he truly adores. It's just that Mino is amazing, incredible. He loves him that much to know better, that he only deserves the best, and he has nothing to offer, nothing good enough for him, nothing to win him over. It's better to end it before it stars before it turns into something real, something that can hurt Mino as much as it is hurting him. Because at this moment Mino doesn't love him, he was only confused, maybe curious about it, about sharing a kiss with him. There is no further explanation, no more deep meaning to it, Jinwoo lies to himself. He lies to himself because it's the only way to keep his heart from drowning onto Mino's.

It's easy, they just have to pretend that the kiss has never happened, keep his heart closed and his lips seals, erasing the memory of skin covering skin, hands dancing on his face, millions of lights burning in his mind, little fireflies escaping through his eyes. It's simple, it's just one more lie, one more excuse. 

"Did I kiss you that bad?" Mino asks, ashamed, putting the blame on him. It breaks Jinwoo into little dust particles. Mino is looking intensely at him, eyes wide open, a frown on his forehead, waiting for him to tell. 

"There is nothing wrong about you" Jinwoo's voice is soothing as ever "the fault it's on me. I... Shouldn't have kissed you. I'm sorry, Mino-ya. Would you forgive me?" 

Why should he forgive him? He was the only one who wanted it, the one who was craving for it, since forever, since the first time he saw his perfect heart shaped lips. And the way they had brushed him, so smooth and sweet... How can he forget it? The taste, the way it felt, the way he made him feel, indelible, like a tattoo over his lips, evergreen. Forever inside his memory. 

"What are you talking about, hyung?"

Mino doesn't seem to understand it, and he is so tired... Tired of lying, of concealing his feelings, of covering them under layers of secrets and its-just-friendship. Maybe Mino doesn't love him, which he is OK with, he has never expected the other way around, how it would be possible, anyway? Jinwoo is nothing but a death beginning, an empty spot who would never fulfil his dreams. No one will love him because there is nothing on him to be loved, just sorrows, regrets and tears. And Mino... He has the right to know the truth. 

"I... I just... You are so good, Mino-ya. And I am so... It would be a mistake... And... Anyway, it doesn't mean anything... " he fumbles, words not reaching what he wants to mean. 

"I like you, hyung. A lot." he cuts him before he can keep going on, rambling about things he doesn't want to understand. The only thing he wants lays next to him, trying to convince himself that there are no mutual feelings between them. "We... We should be together." he wants to hug him, to keep him safe in his arms, don't let him push him away again. 

"There is no we between you and me, Song Mino" he points out, seriously.

Why is Mino so stubborn?

"I... I can't do that to you" he waves, the truth escaping from his lips, little pieces of his heart leaving him, crushing him, shattered and ruined because that's the truth because it's impossible. "There is no way you like me... The way I do."

"But I do" he assures him, reaching his avoiding hands. He holds them, fingers tangled around, caressing the soft palm with so much care, as if he doesn't want him to get scared, to run away, far from him, like he is trying now. "I like you since the start. How couldn't I? You are so beautiful, so alluring and captivating... You are such a great person, hyung. Sweet and caring..." 

"You should stop it. That's... That's not true." he mutters, soft and hurt. "It's you, you are the perfect one, the star, the one who always shine. And I'm so irrevocably in love with you...  But it's ok, I can deal with rejection... It's won't be the first time" he says, smiling a bit. But it's a sad one, a regretful one, full of love and neglected emotions. 

His face is flushed under the dim light of the night sky. Mino's pounding heart is the only thing breaking the heavy silence that has engulfed them. Jinwoo is sullen, avoiding him, evading his glances, his touching, his presences. 

"Then, what's the matter?" Mino finds his voice and muter the courage to ask. "If you love me..." 

"I do." Jinwoo sighs, softly, scrunching Mino's heart because he does it, too. There is a jolt and Mino smiles with relish at the simple confession. 

"Then why we can't be together?"

"Because you can not love me, Mino. How can you claim to be in love with someone like me? Someone so meaningless, useless and dark as me... I have nothing, Mino, nothing to offer, nothing to repay all the good things you always bring to me. I can't let you do it. Please..." he is pleading. He will do whatever he has to in order to prevent Mino's feelings for him. 

"Are you idiot?" Mino's voice echoes through the dorm. 

"It's the truth. There is nothing I can do. I spent all this time doing nothing. I can't write or compile. Not dance, not sing... Nothing, Mino..."

"You love me. You can do that" Mino's worlds are colliding with his mind, with his convictions, shaking his lies, unveiling the truth lying behind; that there is something that he can do. "You are the only one who can do that, the only one I want to be doing so. You love me, and that's all I wish for" Mino keeps saying, convincing him "and, besides, there are a lot of things you can do. Don't let this hiatus take away your straight. You can dance, you proved it, don't you remember? They had chosen you to be the Little Prince. The National Ballet!" he exclaims in admiration "and you acted on a few doramas. I saw them and you were great. I hoped you would have a bigger role in them because you did it amazingly" he praises him. "Look, Jinwoo, I'm not afraid of this, of loving you. I have been denying it for so long and I have been missing you so much that it hurts. I thought my heart was going to leave me to go to you. I just want to be with you and I will do anything to prove you how much you worth it. How much I adore you, every single part of you, the goods ones and the badd ones. Everything about you."

"Really?" Jinwoo's eyes shine, with tears and hopes and so much love that Mino can only stare at them. 

"Of course, hyung. Always."

And there is nothing else to say, because Jinwoo's lips are over Mino's, drawing his edges, hands in his neck, his eyelashes brushing Mino's cheeks. 

Kissing Mino is more about feeling at ease, forgetting about everything, melting in his softness, in the way he makes him feel a lot better, a hundred of miles above the sky. 

Kissing Jinwoo is more about being loved, Mino thinks while capturing Jinwoo's lips again.