Chapter X

Company

*This ficlet takes place after chapter 51 on TWT

Contrary to popular belief, Jonghyun is capable of being speechless. Sure, he’s usually good at making conversations, and he knows what to say when, but there are moments when words just left him. Like, say, right now.

As soon as he closes Younha’s chatroom, he reopens Minho’s and stares at it. Scrolling through the conversation, Jonghyun tries to weigh his replies—whether he should have said anything differently, or picked a different word or just not say anything at all—and study Minho’s. The guy didn’t sound all that different, of course, because if there’s anyone capable of hiding this big, it’s Minho. Well, okay, Jonghyun has seen him around Taemin and they’re actual open books to each other, but to other people? Minho has masks thicker than Jonghyun’s ornate wooden ones.

Heading to the bathroom, he decides to take a quick shower, brush his teeth thoroughly, and sprays himself with decent amount of perfume before opting for his favorite Star Wars shirt (he doesn’t watch Star Wars) and grey jeans. Jonghyun combs his hair and styles it to the usual stylish bed hair before squinting at his reflection, wondering if he should shave his barely-there stubble.

After a beat, he decides to it. Younha’s seen him in worse shape, after all.

Grabbing his hoodie, phone, and keys on his way out, Jonghyun immediately heads to the elevator, marveling at the quiet basement as he heads to his Hyundai. It makes him think of Taemin, who thinks that whoever uses Hyundai is lame. Jonghyun always argues back that using Hyundai is an act of nationalism. It’s an argument they can never settle, and it makes him miss Taemin a little bit.

As he drives out of the basement and onto the streets, Jonghyun lets his muscle memory guide him to Younha’s apartment—he knows the turns and signs by heart now—because he’s too busy thinking about Taemin. He wonders if Minho told him that Jonghyun knew; wonders if Taemin would say anything at all if he knows that Jonghyun isn’t in the dark about this.

Jonghyun thinks of their grief and it makes him feel a little lightheaded. He recomposes himself quickly, trying his best not to let the grief eat him from the inside out; doing his best not to think of how much it must hurt for Taemin and Minho.

A new train of thought occurs to him, then, about how Taemin is a grown-up now. Jonghyun always has a hard time seeing him as an adult even though he’s only 4 years younger than Jonghyun himself. Taemin has always been a baby brother he never had, and now, he’s all grown-up and starting a family with someone he loves.

He was about to start a family and He took it away from him, just like that. He was having a child. Jonghyun was about to have a nephew, or a niece, or even both, and now he’s not. He hasn’t even gotten the chance to see them. Hell, he hasn’t even gotten the chance to hear about them—

“—ing idiot! Are you blind?” someone yells at him. Jonghyun startles so bad he reflectively slams his palm against the horn. The driver next to him spew out more curses, but Jonghyun—as soon as his mind caught up with the fact that the light is green and he’s supposed to go—has already step on the pedal and goes as fast as he’s allowed.

Shaking his head with more force than what is advisable, Jonghyun continues to drive.

*

Younha looks perfectly gorgeous and perfectly at home when she opens the door and jerks her chin as a gesture for Jonghyun to come in. Her puppy, Tribble, runs up to Jonghyun as soon as he passes through the door. She shrugs at him apologetically. “He likes strangers.”

“That,” he picks Tribble up to his eye-level. The pup looks cute, Jonghyun thinks, and it looks perfectly comfortable being around him despite never meeting him prior to this. Jonghyun has gone to Younha’s apartment building often—usually to drop her off—but he never actually came up yet. “Is a very dangerous habit to have. What if someone fancies your cute little nose and decides they want to keep you?”

“Over my dead body,” Younha calls out from where she’s arranging the plates and utensils on the dining room. Jonghyun nods in agreement.

“Okay, yeah, that. But, what if mommy isn’t there when they lure you to the dark side?” he asks, tone threatening. Tribble sniffs at his hand and it. Jonghyun sighs. “He’s hopeless.”

“He’s a total idiot,” Younha agrees, gesturing at Jonghyun to take a seat as she bustles around the kitchen, reaching for mitts and opening the oven to take the lasagna out. Jonghyun watches her wordlessly, wondering if he should help her. After a while, she finally helps him make his decision. “Could you get me the knife, please?”

“Sure,” Jonghyun rises to his feet immediately, taking one of her biggest knives and handing it to her. Younha’s lips purses in amusement, so it probably isn’t the right one, but she accepts it anyway. “So, what’s in this?”

“Kale, tomato, ham, sausage, and two types of cheese,” Younha answers easily, taking Tribble from where he’s snuggling against Jonghyun’s leg and places him in front of his bowl. The pup stares at his snack dubiously for a second before immediately inhaling it. Jonghyun chuckles and tears his eyes away from the dog to start paying attention to the owner.

“Let’s eat first,” he says to her silent question.

They eat in silence, with Younha occasionally filling him in on the staff that still says they miss him. Jonghyun takes the compliment in stride, not really in the mood to be mock-arrogant. It surprises him a little, how much this news is affecting him, but he doesn’t dwell on it for long. After all, he did lose a family member—whether or not said family member was ever truly here doesn’t matter—so he’s allowed to feel a little down.

Younha seems to agree, because she doesn’t comment on his less-than-cheerful demeanor. Once they’re done, Jonghyun helps her wash the dishes and she rewards him with a tube of ice cream that she pushes against his chest. Taking two spoons with her, Younha shoos him to the TV room, Tribble following close behind them.

“You want some BG music? Or should I turn the TV on?” she asks, sounding uncharacteristically motherly. Usually when she speaks to him, there’s always a hint of amusement, like she’s constantly laughing at him or she’s waiting for him to say something dumb (he usually does), but now she sounds completely serious and ready to catch whatever it is Jonghyun’s abou