Honestly, today came to be such a shock to me and I honestly no longer know I feel about everything.

I'm sure everyone knows about it now and even though I really hope it's fake or some type of rumor...it appears that this is reality this time.

I really hope, from the bottom of my heart, that today was a nightmare but apparently not. Perhaps I am still in denial as this has never crossed my mind and surely I have never imagined this could happen. It was just....it me hard. Really hard.

Infinite to me, was everything.  Infinite has always been the 7 dorky members to me and I can really not imagine Infinite as one less. I am more than sure myself that I am still in denial. I thought I will cry and yes, a few tears has already escaped but it was a rather silent cry, just a few tears. Perhaps I will not cry or come to face reality fully yet until the day they comeback and I can really see for myself that there is a gaping space, an empty spot that should have been filled. It probably will only be then that I will be able to see them all on a screen and notice the numbers.

Because we have not seen pictures of them for so long, them as seven, I can't seem to get myself to believe in anything; to get myself to accept this very fact.

I am sure I will forever stay as an Inspirit and will forever support Infinite as for real, Infinite it my everything. I never knew something I have never truly met or seen or heard will ever mean so much to me. I have stated before that I am unable to imagine my life without Infinite. I had made myself believe in them as they constantly reminded us that they will overcome the 7 year jinx and with The Eye comeback where Sunggyu said that they had a talk with the seven of them, and the seven of them has decided that they will stay Infinite together forever really hit me. I believed in them and I still believe in them now and I am sure Hoya has his own reasons. The members support him and his decisions and so will I. 

It's merely the fact that I can't seem to incorporate myself into accepting this easily or quickly. I will forever have an empty feeling in my heart and it will forever be missing something and it will definitely be extremely difficult to those of us who has known Infinite for long and has only ever seen them as the 7 dorky lovable members of Infinite. But I want us to stay strong and support Infinite and Hoya no matter what. Even if it hurts me, even if it pains me so much to say that Infinite is no longer seven but six.

I have truly believed that Infinite will overcome the jinx and come back to us as seven and it is just so....I am not sure. I'm just hurt? I felt so betrayed at first but that feeling is no longer there. What's left of me and I hope is the same for the rest of you as well, is our love and support for the members. Because although it is hard for us to accept and believe, I'm sure it is much harder on the boys themselves. They have came a long way together, 7 years with Infinite, and much more before debut. So I really wish we can bond together and make it through this together with them. With Infinite. No matter what people say nowadays or whether the number is now changing, Infinite will forever be the Infinite of 7 members in my heart. In my heart, Infinite will always be Kim Sunggyu, Jang Dongwoo, Nam Woohyun, Lee Howon, Lee Sungyeol, Kim Myungsoo, and Lee Sungjong to me. Perhaps there will be those of you in the future who will only know of Infinite as Infinite from today on but I really do hope you will come to know of the Infinite from before today, from 2010 to today.

I had not wanted to make any assumptions and have hoped that this is merely a rumor or some sick joke and even, some dream that I can't seem to wake up from. How did you guys hear the news? I have to say that it just striked me hard. I was having an Infinite marathon where I was just going on listening to their songs on list and over and over again. I watched their shows and scrolled through their photos and just suddenly, this dropped on me like a bomb. It just hurts so much that I can't see them anymore like that, that they will no longer be like that. 

Do you know what really pained me? It has always been my dream to meeting Infinite in person, in live. To see and meet the 7 of them at their concert, take photos of them, get their signature, and see them dance and sing live. But now, I just so painfully realized, now, even when I do get to meet them one day, it will no longer be the 7 of them and that itself leaves a gaping feeling in my heart.

I have no words to explain my emotions or what I am particulary feeling. I have yet to fully cry and think about this as I'm sure I am still in denial. I just feel so empty right now. And it will never come true to me yet until one of the boys officially come say something or when they get together again. Only then will I probably cry my heart out as see that I really need to face reality. I just know, my reflexes or instinct or whatever you call it, is telling me automatically as if it was programed that I will and need to support Infinite as if. And I am pretty sure I will because they are just such a big part of me that I can't just go, "Oh well, okay. Bye." They mean too much to me for me to ever think of even doing that.

This may come as extremely offensive to you Inspirits of now and maybe even those of you Inspirits of the future that may come across my message to you all today but Infinite will and is always 7 to me. Infinite is not Infinite if not all seven of those boys. I really hope you understand this feeling of mine and do not get offended by it. I am not saying that I will not support Hoya as himself and Infinite as they will be but it just means that in my heart, it will always be like that. I will always support, love, and care for them and I hope all of you out there will as well.

I do not wish for you to leave the fandom or give up on the boys because of this or even blame them for such. I am sure that Inspirits is much more mature than that. We have always been a very understanding and kind fandom so I hope it will stay like this forever. I hope you do not come to blame any of them and instead, accept and support. I may sound like a hyprocrite as I myself have problems doing such right now. I hope you do not feel betrayed either. I understand if you do at first that I have but then I hope like me, you'll be able to come to understand and no longer feel betrayed by such. Please do not blame them and hurt them for that. Please do not leave Infinite as right now, they really need us. Infinite and Inspirits are really close so I hope we can and forever will be as close and connected as we always have been. It will be different, yes. But, even if the wounds in our heart right now is big and even though there will forever be a scar, our pain will slowly heal day by day. It will never heal completely but it will get better. We'll be okay, I'm sure of it.

I am sorry that this message came out to be so long. I am sorry that I am unable to do anything but say such things. I wish I can be with them and support them and everything but I am not and I am unable to. I can't hope but feel extremely sorry for not being there but I know that there is nothing I can do about that. So all I can do is hope that I am able to bond us together and still trust in Infinite. I heard that there were already many who left the fancafe so please, please don't do this to our boys. We really need to stay together right now for us, and for them.

I myself am very empty and broken but I will try my best to return as normal. I really hope Infinite will be okay and that they have each other and that they truly have talked everything out. I still wish that they will forever as Infinite even if not in name, but in their hearts. Their teamwork and friendship is one of the best in the industry so I believe in them. And I hope you will to. So please, please stay with them. Stay with Infinite and Hoya and support them to the very end.

On a side note, like I said, Infinite to me is always 7 and will forever be 7 because Infinite is 7 so I hope you don't mind me writing them as 7. I will write them as Infinite, as Kim Sunggyu, Jang Dongwoo, Nam Woohyun, Lee Howon, Lee Sungyeol, Kim Myungsoo, and Lee Sungjong. I hope you understand and can come to accept this fact. I will still write them as they always have been. I truly hope that this is okay with you all. Thank you truly for all the support you have given me thus far and may you still continue to do so. For me personally, and for Infinite infinityly. Thank you.

As a matter of fact, this fanfic, this story, "Although we are Infinite" will be discontinued for now. Please note that this does not mean I will stop writing forever and leave the fandom or stop writing about Infinite forever. It merely means that I am still hurt right now. It merely means that I can't get myself to write about them as 7 and the wavers the possibility of ever changing the "Infinite is always 7". Perhaps one day I'll be healed enough to come back to this story and write about them with a much lighter heart but for now, I am unable to. I hope you all understand this. Thank you and I am truly sorry. Really sorry.