Great.

I just happened to be thinking about the embarrassment of standing in the front row when hopes are not high yesterday, and today we are standing in the back.

We don't talk a lot about charting and winning among the group. We have lives outside music shows. We talk about radio shows we attended and the stupid things we did, we talk about what fans told us during the fan meetings, we talk about the great fancams shared by our buddies. We do broadcasts, we practice, we jam to songs in the car. Oh yes, and we sleep. Sleep is an issue now. My dark circles are like those of pandas, and I pray that I don't need the acne patches... But anyway, that's not what I want to talk about. My point is, I don't think I care that much about charting and winning, nor does our group.

I admit that this sounds a bit fake because here I am talking about our position in music shows, and now I am saying that I don't care. Doesn't sound perfectly harmonious in one chapter.

Don't get me mistaken...I am happy for most of the time in this era, I enjoyed it a lot, but how our song is doing on the charts does have an implication on me, especially when it's 'throne time' on music shows. It's not exactly a sense of loss...maybe I should put it as a sense of imbalance. Having had two brilliant comebacks that were much loved, could be called the hit of the hits, and did great on the charts, this is not exactly what I expected. Although changes were expected.

We all know that people may have an issue with accepting the change, and we have tried very hard to make the change less abrupt. We kept this song at the bottom of our drawers for such a long time already...We expected some negative noises, but deep down inside I was hoping for something better.

This concept is something that we all wanted to do...well, me in particular. We prepared for such a long time...8 months after the last album...and we enjoyed the preparation a lot. I don't know...maybe it is me who have a bit of a trouble setting expectations.

Perhaps it's not entirely about me. We have been showing great 'report cards' to our agency, our CEO, our managers, our teachers, and now I feel like a kid who messed up with an exam that she shouldn't have messed up. Our agency didn't put pressure on us, but sometimes I feel like a kid who disappointed her parents.

Maybe I do care? I don't know...

*Author's message*

Sorry for the slow update, but I have been very busy these 2 days...I slept at 4 am yesterday OTL

This chapter could have been slightly longer, but I got sth to do now and couldn't write it today...so I am not entirely sure whether I would amend anything later on.

But for now, enjoy~ :D