The street is busting with cheerful voices and boastful laughter of friends who have not seen each other for a long time; sharing stories of their summer adventures. The street leading to schools has come to life again.

 

But I seem to be in another dimension for I can’t share their sentiments. I pick my iPod out of my pocket, untangled my headset and put on my ears. I kept the volume up to distant myself from the reality; and kept walking with my head down.

 

Why am I feeling down? Why did I dread for this day to come? This is what I asked for, right? So why can’t I even feel elated?

 

I felt somebody pat me on my shoulder, when I looked up, it was one of my friends, JIyong. He is talking but I can’t hear a word he is saying.

 

“ . . . . alright?” it was the only word I heard from him.

 

“Dude, he didn’t hear anything you just said.” Seunghyun pointed out while showing him the earpiece he just unplugged from my left ear.

 

“Stupid Jiyong!” Taeyang pointed the obvious.

 

“What?! The f***?! I just wasted my precious voice when you weren’t even listening?!” Blah blah blah, JIyong continued to nag on and on and on. And I just shook my head in amusement.

 

“Jiyong, stop nagging, you sound like a girl on her period.” Seunghyun said nonchalantly and so, Jiyong’s attention was shifted to him. I can’t help but smile. At least these idiots are around to keep my mind at ease.

 

“Hey! Your avid fan is approaching. I repeat Soo-hyuk’s avid fan is approaching!” Taeyang announced as I froze on my spot.

“Eh? Since when did she and Donghae got closed?” shocked was evident on Jiyong’s voice.

 

I didn’t want to look up but curiosity got the best out of me, when I did so, there she was. She’s walking with Donghae beside her and she’s smiling widely at him. Why do I feel uneasy?  And is if the fate was playing tricks on me, Ed Sheeran’s Happier was playing from my iPod.

 

Walking down 29^th and park

I saw you in another’s arm

Only a month we’ve been apart

You look happier

 

“It doesn’t matter, I’m sure once she sees Soo-hyuk, and she’ll coming running to him and will do some silly stuff again.” Taeyang said while laughing.

 

“Oh! Ofcourse! She never missed an opportunity to declare her undying love for our friend! Remember when we were in 7^th grade? When she . . . . . . “ Jiyong started to recount those memories, and I just kept quiet as I continued to stare at them as they walk towards our direction.

 

 

I kept staring at her and nothing seems has changed. She’s still wearing her knee length skirt, her hair long black hair is still braided on both side and she didn’t change her Ahjumma eye glasses. But why does it feel like that there’s something that has changed?

 

He said something to make you laugh

I saw that both your smiles were as twice as wide as ours

Yeah, you look happier, you do

 

She’s laughing with something he told her. But why do I feel this selfish desire that she shouldn’t be? Why do I feel insecure knowing that she’s smiling at him instead at me?

 

 

She turned her head around and our eyes met. I fisted my hands when I saw how her smile faded when she saw me and how her eyes look empty while staring at mine. I can’t seem to make myself to look away and the feeling of guilt is slowly eating me up.

 

Donghae noticed how her smiled faded and looked ahead. When he saw me he finally understood. He patted her back to get back her attention and he succeeded. She looked at him and he gave an encouraging smile. She nodded and they continued to walk, towards the gate, where we are.

 

“Her she comes! Oh man! I can’t wait to see this!” Taeyang said, I forgot that they were still there and that they were still talking about how she used to be.

 

Like a movie, playing in a slow motion mode, they walked towards us. I can feel my heart beating fast in anticipation. I don’t even understand myself, why am I anticipating for her to come to me and greet me like she usually does? Didn’t I hate it? Wasn’t I annoyed on how cheerfully she would greet me? Didn’t I think that she was stupid for waiting for me in our school gate?

 

 

The distance between us is shortening, she’s nearing and my heart just beats even faster.

 

 

But then, she just passed us by and continued walking. She didn’t even give me glance; she didn’t even gave me a smile. She walked near yet it felt like she was a few kilometres from me.

 

 

“What?! What just happned?!” Dumfounded, Taeyang questioned.

 

 

“Did she just ignore you?!” JIyong asked me with bulging eyes. At other circumstances I would find it funny.

 

 

“Oh my God! Is it the end of the world?! Did Dara just ignore you?! You?! that she said the love of her life?!”

 

 

“ This is the first time since she ignored you for the last 8 years the we’ve known each other. What happened last summer Soo-hyuk?”  Seunghyun asked me but I couldn’t answer him.

 

 

I turned around and saw her retreating back. She kept talking to Donghae as if nothing happened. I hurt her that bad ha? I did it this time. I should be glad right? This is what I asked of her.

 

 

Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you

 

 

You finally gave up ha? Your affection for me has finally reached its limit. The eight years of you pestering me has finally ended. For once, you really did listen to me.

 

 

I should smile now, but why does a part of me is slowly dying, Dara?