Now that the secretary badge was off from his blazer and settled safely on his palm, everything in this room triggered a series of flashback images inside Mingyu’s head. Behind the boy who will receive the badge, there was a modest-sized transparent shelf filled with trophies and plaques at one side and folder maps at the other. Mingyu remembered how the sliding door had been stuck, and then broken, several months ago because somehow it refused to open properly for Mingyu. On the right side of the shelf were three sets of desk computer. He had not break any of those--thank God--Mingyu had fond memories especially with the one nearest the shelf, Mingyu’s partner during the whole year he served as student council’s secretary.

Turning his head further to the right, he saw the image of that one afternoon. Minghao was in front of him, so close that Minghao’s lips were almost touching his. They looked so inviting, he wanted to kiss them so bad. And when his wish was finally realized, he felt warmth—no, heat—transferred from Minghao’s rough lips to his own, then all over his body—

“Mingyu!”

“Whoa!”

Mingyu’s body jolted and the badge fell off his hands, rolling on the floor until it hit the shoe of the junior he’s supposed to hand the badge.

“Sorry!” Mingyu quickly picked up the badge and gave quick bows to all of his colleagues and juniors for his blunder.

“Aah...” The president—correction, the former president Hyungwoo—sighed on his left. “I’m gonna miss seeing you dropping and breaking things in this room.” His gaze was fond as he cooed at Mingyu. Mingyu replied with a pout.

“I’m gonna miss everyone...” The former treasurer Mina whined with her lips curved down.

“We’re still going to the same school for one more year.”

Yeah, but we’re all going to be busy studying,” Mina said before turning to Mingyu with accusing eyes. “And you’ll be busy kissy-kissy and smoochy-smoochy with Minghao,” she added with slightly bitter tone.

Mingyu almost dropped the badge again. “Wha—I, I—“ he managed to clear his throat to regain his composure. “Please stop being petty because you can’t get a boyfriend.” His own voice sounded calm enough, but his heart was still beating erratically against his rib cage.

It was no secret to the school that Mingyu was dating Minghao now, and Mingyu had no intention to hide it. But he was surprised by Mina’s words; it was as if she had been peeking into Mingyu’s head and saw what Mingyu just saw (it had happened many times before, it was creepy). Even as Mingyu loved to show the world that Minghao was his, he wouldn’t want others to see them in their private moments. He’d like to think that those were only for the two of them.

“Rude!” Mina pouted. “I can. I just... don’t.” Despite her confident start, her voice trailed off. Everyone laughed at her.

Laughter continued to fill the room every once in a while during the rest of the ceremony, the comfortable air was like the student council itself, warm and soothing. When it ended and Mingyu was out of the room, he felt refreshed. It was indeed an end, but it’s also a new start. So Mingyu didn’t feel sad.

Feeling invigorated, Mingyu headed to the town’s public library, going straight to the reference room at the back of the first floor, because that’s where he’d find Minghao. He was surprised that he couldn’t find Minghao at the table near the chemistry shelf, but when he turned slightly to the left, there Minghao was.

“Hey,” said Mingyu as he walked towards Minghao. He could feel his own lips curving up into a wide grin against his will. He probably looked like an idiot but he couldn’t help it, especially when Minghao lifted his face from his book and looked at Mingyu, giving the most dazzling smile Mingyu had ever seen.

Mingyu took the empty seat beside Minghao. “Which part are you on?”

“Page 67.”

Minghao’s answer made Mingyu raised his eyebrows. “So fast?”

“I skipped part C from the last chapter. You said it rarely comes out in exams.”

“Yes, but it doesn’t mean you should skip it.”

“My brain is not big enough for all of them, Gyu. I just need to cover the basics to get a passing grade.”

“But—“

“Ssh!!”

Mingyu only realized that their bickering was getting too loud when the librarian lady scowled at them from the side. After giving the lady an apologetic look, Mingyu turned back to Minghao. The latter was already back at his books, forehead furrowed in concentration. Mingyu didn’t have the heart to bother him.

To be truth, Mingyu’s insistence stemmed from his own insecurity. He was going to apply for one of the top universities out of town while Minghao was trying for a certificate program in a local university. Minghao’s target university didn’t have requirements as demanding as Mingyu’s, so it made sense to focus only on getting over that university’s passing line.

Mingyu actually hoped for Minghao to do more. Maybe, if he tried hard enough, Minghao could get into his choice of university.

But Mingyu knew it wouldn’t happen. Minghao had his mind set and plans ready to get the independent life he wanted. He even had a clearer vision of his future than Mingyu, the Mingyu whom everyone deemed as a bright student with bright future ahead of him. At this point Mingyu only had a vague images of himself 10 or even 5 years later. What was clear to him was that in every image, Minghao was always with him. He couldn’t help but worry that enrolling in different universities would threaten that dream.

He had never told Minghao about this. He wouldn’t, not today and probably never. But when they walked out of the library later, he knew he had failed in hiding his secret.

“What is it?” asked Minghao from his right.

“What, what?” Mingyu feigned a nonchalant voice, but it didn’t fool Minghao.

“I can hear you thinking.”

Mingyu let a small whine of defeat before saying, “I’m scared that if we go to separate schools we’ll naturally drift apart.”

Mingyu thought he wasn’t scared of endings. But the thought of Minghao and him ending brought a kind of fear he’d never experienced before.

Minghao stopped his steps and scoffed. “You think you can forget me and move on.”

Mingyu didn’t address that and said this instead.”...but you can...” He saw Minghao’s eyes, filled with pure curiosity, and felt his own lips puckered into a pout. “...forget me.”

Minghao’s confused look disappeared as he suddenly scooted closer, slightly tip-toeing so that his grinning face was only a breath away from Mingyu’s. “I won’t and I’ll remind you that, again and again.”

“Hao!” Mingyu squealed--how embarrassing--as he took a step back. “Not... Not here...”

Minghao laughed and pulled away, but not too far. They were close enough for their shoulders to bump each other. Minghao took his hand and Mingyu let Minghao hold him as they resumed their steps.

They almost reached the bus station where they would go to their separate ways home, when Minghao stopped to read a text. Mingyu couldn’t see what’s on the screen. Minghao’s expression didn’t change so he thought it was nothing.

But then Minghao said, “I still have a few hours before work and was going to spend it at home, but Mom said she got off work early, trouble with boss, and told me not to come home yet.” Nothing from his expression nor voice suggested any distress, thought Mingyu couldn’t help but worry.

Things did looked good enough. Minghao had told Mingyu what he was dealing with, like his arrangement with his mother whenever his mother was feeling angry. Minghao had been honest and open, and Mingyu was relieved. But Mingyu would always worry. He was never sure that he could read Minghao right, give the support Minghao needed when his mother was going through her usual episodes. What if Minghao was hiding things because Mingyu wasn’t reliable enough? There’s Wonwoo so Minghao should be okay, but what if Wonwoo was too occupied to even pay attention to Minghao?

The trail of unsettling thoughts was forced to a halt when Mingyu felt Minghao’s hands moving away from his own. It was only for a split moment. Soon Minghao’s calloused palm was back on his equally rough hand, readjusting their positions into a firmer hold. A sense of reassurance wrapped Mingyu.

“We’ll work it out. You and me. Me and my mom,” said Minghao gently without diverting his gaze from the street ahead of them.

Meanwhile Mingyu was staring at Minghao’s side profile. He gazed as he held onto Minghao’s hand and the trace of Minghao’s reassuring voice in his ears.

“So stop worrying,” Minghao said as he moved his body to hit Mingyu on the side, forcing Mingyu to stumble on his feet. The only thing that stopped Mingyu from rolling over the asphalt was Minghao’s insanely strong arm. The beautiful sound of Minghao’s laughter filled the air and Mingyu couldn’t bring himself to whine.

“Let me crash at your place a few hours,” said Minghao after he had his share of laughter.

“Sure. But my parents won’t be home until late and Yuna said she’s going out with friends.”

It happened so fast that Mingyu almost thought he was imagining things, be he could’ve sworn that Minghao had run his tongue over his lips at Mingyu’s answer. For a second Mingyu’s heart went still.

“Good.”

There was no mistaking the mischievous glint on Minghao’s eyes this time. Mingyu thought that while he had wasted his energy worrying about endings and other things, which were possible but less likely than what’s happening in front of him now, he and Minghao moving forward, together, to various new stages of their lives and relationship, could today be another new step? Oh my God, Mingyu was sweating profusely, his hand was sticking to Minghao’s and it felt gross but he couldn’t let go, of course not, he just couldn’t focus on anything but Minghao’s tongue over his lips earlier and his own heart slamming against his rib cage.

Mingyu could only hope that his heart would hold on until they arrived home. He still wanted to live a long life with Minghao.