Wonwoo took in the sight before him and compared it to a few months ago. There was no longer a gap between Minghao and Mingyu; their shoulders literally touched as they had their heads bent over the table.

Minghao never talked to Mingyu at school anymore. No chasing after him or trying to walk home together. As if to compensate that, Minghao went all out during their study sessions. He would sit closer to Mingyu, try to make conversation, tease Mingyu most of the time. During those times, Minghao had his best smile.

Mingyu didn’t try to dismiss Minghao. At Wonwoo’s room, Mingyu was less “perfect student Mingyu” and more relaxed. He didn’t budge when Minghao moved closer to him and responded to each of Minghao’s teasing with his best effort. Most of the time he lost, the last witty remark went to Minghao. Yet after pouting at his lost, Mingyu would always smile. More than once Wonwoo caught him staring at Minghao when Minghao was too busy scribbling on his notebook. It made Wonwoo believed that human’s eyes could sparkle.

Wonwoo didn’t know if it’s for the best, but at least in this room, Mingyu made Minghao smile.

Inside his head, he often replaced Mingyu and Minghao with Jun and himself, how they would sit so close to each other like Mingyu and Minghao did, sharing the same hearty laugh and calming atmosphere. Every time Wonwoo found himself doing this, he felt his cheeks burning hot.

**

Wonwoo went downstairs to send Mingyu and Minghao off. He saw his mother in the living room, still in her working suit. Mingyu and Minghao greeted her and she replied with a smile. Wonwoo thought she must’ve had a good day.

Yet after his friends were out of the door and Wonwoo was back in the living room, his mother’s face turned impossibly sour.

“Wonwoo, we need to talk.” Her tone was calm but stern.

Heart beating slightly faster, Wonwoo nodded and sat on the couch. He scooted to edge so that there’s space for his mother. She didn’t take the seat but kept standing in front of the couch with a frown and a hand on her hips. Wonwoo didn’t like this. He knew what his mother was angry about. It was about time that she found out.

“Why are you reducing your time in cram school?” Her voice was shaking now, probably from holding back anger.

“I need the time to practice marching band.” Wonwoo replied honestly. There’s no use in lying.

His mother shut her eyes hard. The lids stayed closed for a while and when she opened them, Wonwoo wanted to sink into the couch.

“I’ve told you to quit, didn’t I? Why are you—How did you even get the cram school to—Your father. He did this. He’s never done anything right in raising you kids, always spoiling. When he gets home....”

She stopped to look Wonwoo in the eyes once again.

“You’ll go to school tomorrow and quit the band.” Her tone was firm.

Wonwoo was always afraid of her voice. It didn’t bring many good memories for him. Mostly speaking in raised tone. That’s why he used to obey anything she said. He was terrified of what would happen if he went against it.

Now he’s still scared, but he no longer want to let his fear take over.

“No.”

His mother looked stupefied, it was like she was turning into a statue for a moment.

“What?”

“I’m not quitting the band, Mom.”

He saw how his mother’s lips trembled. He was prepared for what’s coming.

“Listen, Wonwoo. The band isn’t going to help you get into university!” Her chest was heaving up and down. She looked slightly out of breath as she spitted out the words. “It’s a waste of time! Don’t you get it? I’m trying to tell you what’s best for you. Is it so hard to just follow it?” She was almost screaming, Wonwoo wondered if the neighbors could hear her.

All his life Wonwoo had been following his mother’s words to avoid this. He hated this version of Mom, so he always shut his mouth, listened, and did what he was told to. But recently he’d been thinking. Did he want this for the rest of his life?

Mother stopped talking. She looked at Wonwoo, her eyes demanding a response.

“If I fall out of the top 20% in school this semester, I’ll quit the band,” he simply said. His heart was beating erratically against his rib cage, yet his voice sounded calm and sure.

His mother opened but said nothing. She spent a few moments just gaping at Wonwoo. When she finally said something, her voice no longer bore anger. She just sounded tired and Wonwoo couldn’t bring himself to hate her anymore.

“I’ll hold on to that.”

She left him in the room without another glance, and he finally let himself sink into the couch. Only then he realized that his body had been so tense, it took time for him until the softness of the cushion travelled to his skin. As his numb senses started to come back, he felt how his lips were slightly curved up.

**

Hansol and Seokmin were summoned by their homeroom teacher so they left the class while grumbling what could’ve been so important that they had to spare time from their precious lunch break. They told Wonwoo and Jun to have lunch without them. As much as Wonwoo liked Hansol and Seokmin, he cheered loudly inside his head.

“You bring lunchbox today?” asked Wonwoo.

Jun’s shoulder jolted before he turned to face Wonwoo. “Yes,” he answered.

“I want to eat somewhere else today. Would you go with me?”

Jun looked confused but nodded anyway. Wonwoo led him outside of the school building, to the part of the school ground that’s higher than the rest, behind the thick trees near the field; his special spot. He plopped down under the tree and Jun followed. At first Jun took Minghao’s usual spot on his left, but as always, the ground’s a bit damp. Jun immediately lifted himself and moved, closer to Wonwoo. He seemed surprised when realizing that their shoulders were almost touching. Wonwoo was nervous but didn’t move away. He was relieved that Jun stayed too.

They opened their own lunchboxes and had their lunch. They had never had any difficulty in making conversation, but this time Wonwoo put in some extra effort, trying to talk more with Jun, even telling some jokes to get him to laugh more (Minghao said his jokes were lame but they made Jun laugh anyway so Wonwoo decided to not care about Minghao’s evaluation).

When their lunchboxes were empty, Jun said, “I’m glad.”

Wonwoo twisted his neck and Jun gave him a shy smile. “I’m just glad to talk. To know more about you. Sorry, I’m being weird,” he ended with an awkward laugh.

Wonwoo wanted to say something to that, but his head was a mess. Thoughts jumbled up, like how Jun looked so cute right now, how his own heart rate was spiking up dangerously and he needed to stop it, whether to say “it’s fine”, or “I’m glad too” or something else. He couldn’t come up with a response so he just smiled.

A moment of silence came and the one who broke it was Jun.

“Oh, I just realized. We can see the field from here.”

Wonwoo casted his gaze on the field. “Yeah. That’s why I like it here.”

He saw Jun smiled from the corner of his eyes. “It’s like your own secret space,” he said with amusement in his voice.

“Yep.”

“It’s very well-hidden too. I wonder if the teachers even know about this place.”

“I don’t think so. Minghao always hide here and they never know.”

“Oh.”

Suddenly excitement was gone from Jun’s voice. When Wonwoo turned to see him, he had that look again. There were creases between his eyebrows and the edges of his lips seemed to be strained, like they’re trying hard to keep the smile from faltering. Wonwoo used to agonize over how he should interpret this look of Jun, how he should respond to it, kept thinking whether it would be the right response and ended up not doing anything. But now all he could think of was how uncomfortable Jun seemed and he wanted to make him at ease.

“Have you been to that new fried cutlet shop downtown?”

The discomfort from Jun’s face made way to a look of surprise at Wonwoo’s sudden and unrelated question.

“No.”

“You want to try it this Sunday?”

“Sure. Seokmin’s been there but I think he’ll say yes.”

“No.”

“Hmm?”

Once again the confused look was back on Jun’s face. Wonwoo thought of how endearing he looked, it was making him warm all over. Really, Jun could make him feel so many different things in just a couple of minutes.

“Not with Seokmin, or Hansol. Just you and me. If you’re okay.”

The way pink crept on Jun’s face so quickly was stunning. Looking at that, Wonwoo felt his own face warming up and he desperately hoped that he didn’t look as flushed as Jun.

“Okay.” Jun nodded once, and twice, and when he’s about to nod for third time, he laughed, not completely free from awkwardness, but sincere and hearty.

Wonwoo felt like he had finally made the jump.

**

Wonwoo wanted to tell Minghao, but the rest of the day went unexpectedly busy. He could always text, but Wonwoo felt like telling him in person. So he waited until Tuesday, but Minghao was nowhere to be seen. When he went to Minghao’s class after the last bell rang, Minghao’s classmate told him that Minghao didn’t show up at class at all. It was usual for him to skip one or two classes even now (especially Mr. Kang’s class), but to skip for the entire day was unheard of. Wonwoo texted him before going to band practice. Even when the practice was over and he’s already at home, there was no reply. Wonwoo went to sleep feeling uneasy that night.

Minghao still didn’t show up at school on Wednesday. Not replying Wonwoo’s text either. Worry grew more in Wonwoo’s chest, but he decided to wait. Maybe tomorrow Minghao would show up. They’re having study session after school on Thursday. Minghao wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Wonwoo was right. Minghao did show up on Thursday. What Wonwoo didn’t expect was to see him with left eye covered in bandage, a trail of bruises that peeked out from under the short sleeve of his right arm. He suspected there were more bruises hidden. Minghao was walking very slowly, careful not to let his body come into contact with anything and especially attentive with how he lifted his legs.

They didn’t even had the chance to talk. Minghao was approached by the teachers as soon as he entered the school gate and was brought to the teacher’s office.

It didn’t take long before everyone knew. Some said Minghao’s been to another fight, this time with more opponents. That’s why he was bruised all over. Those who eavesdropped at the teacher’s lounge said that the teachers asked Minghao about the fighting rumors. He didn’t deny them.

Wonwoo had never talked to Minghao about the rumors before. He didn’t know if they were true. Frankly, he didn’t care. But now he wished he did. Maybe if he had asked Minghao, tried to know him better, he could’ve prevented Minghao getting all battered and suspended from school for 2 weeks.

Wonwoo tried to find Minghao at lunch break, but he was already sent home. So he sent a text, asking if they could meet and talk. No reply came.