Nobody saw it coming. Then again Yongguk was always so quiet and didn't let his emotion out very often.

They were shooting the music video for skydive. They had shot the fight scene in the warehouse. The director had told them to take a well deserve break and said they were going to resume the shoot after.

Everyone went to the rest room except Yongguk. They were speaking about the mv and Daehyun acting. Youngjae said to him that he was a little worried at first but now he was proud of Daehyun performance. After some time the director called them. However Yongguk was nowhere to be seen.

"Hyung? Do you know where Yongguk hyung is?" Daehyun asked Himchan.

"No. Come to think of it he never went with us in the break room."

"Well, we all know he love his alone time but not during mv shoot" Zelo said.

"Yeah you're right. It's strange" Youngjae added. Jongup Just nodded in agreement.

"I will look for him" said Daehyun and with that he went out of the warehouse.

As soon as he was out he heard strange noises. Like someone was being choked. He walked in the direction of the noise. Just after turning the corner Daehyun saw something he thought he never see. Yongguk was squatting and shaking like crazy. It seemed like he wasn't able to breath and in a lot of pain. Daehyun squat immediately in front of him.

"Hyung?? Are you all right? What is going on? Did you hurt yourself?" Daehyun asked worried. Yongguk hadn't move an inch and it's only when Daehyun took him by his shoulders to try to stop the shaking that Yongguk eyes went to focus.

"Dae... Hyunnie..." Yongguk tried to speak but he breathing was not back to normal.

"What is going on hyung? What can I do? Do you want me to call manager hyung?" At The mention of the manager Yongguk breath became more erratic. Daehyun mentally slap himself for causing more pain to his leader. And then he had an idea.

"Hyung? Focus on my voice ok? Breathe for me. In and out. Follow my lead. Good." After seemed like hours Yongguk breathing come back to normal and he stopped shaking.

Daehyun helped him to stand and put one arm around his waist for support. They walk in silence. When they arrived inside the warehouse everyone was waiting for them. But upon seeing Daehyun supporting their leader everyone started to asked questions. Before any of them could answer Yongguk manager came to take him away from Daehyun and went to the waiting room.

"What happened?" Himchan was the first to ask.

"Is he ok?" Youngjae said before Daehyun could speak.

"I don't know. I was looking for him when I saw him squatting in pain and not able to breathe outside"

"What?!!" Every B.A.P members said at the same Time.

"I was able to calm him down after sometime but I don't know what caused it".

At the same time Yongguk and his manger excited the waiting room and went to speak to the director. The members were worried and dying to know what was going on. The director told them that that was going to shoot Yongguk part in priority and after that the latest would leave. They wanted to protest but Himchan silence them and said that Yongguk was going to tell them when he was ready.

The rest of the shoot went well despite their leader absence. After wrapping up the shoot they went home to their dorm. While they were on the road they each received a mail from their company saying that that had a meeting the next day. Upon reading it their stress level grew even more.

"Guys don't think too much ok? I'm sure everything is fine. Let's get a good night of sleep and we will deal with whatever this is tomorrow" Himchan said. They all went to their room without adding a word.

***************

Daehyun had barely slept. Every time he closed his eyes he would saw Yongguk in pain not able to breathe. That's why he was the first in the van the next day waiting for the others. When they arrived, Yongguk was already here with his manager and their CEO. B.A.P members sat across Yongguk and waited for anyone to speak.

"Guys we asked you to come here because we need to tell you something. You're all wondering what happened to Yongguk yesterday. Well, he was..." Before the CEO could finish his sentence Yongguk stopped him by speaking for himself.

"I have anxiety disorders. And yesterday when Daehyunnie found me I had a panic attack".

As soon as he stopped talking the room went completely silent. Nobody knew what to say. Until the CEO spoke once again.

"That's why Yongguk will not be taking part of the Skydive promotion" And right after that every members started shouting their disagreement.

"Guys stop!" Yongguk said with his deep low voice. The room went silent again. "I was the one who asked to take a break all right? I've been diagnosed for quite some time now but my attacks were never this severe. I don't want to cause problem during our promotion and I'm going insane here. I need some time off."

"Well, that's not exactly true. He had an attack like this during That's my jam era but he didn't tell you about it. I ask him to step down for a while but he wouldn't listen saying that he had to finish the album" Yongguk manager said.

Upon hearing that the members went crazy. Himchan asked their CEO if they could speak to their leader in private. The latest said to his manager to leave them also.

"Bang Yongguk you better have a freaking good explanation to all of this!" Said Himchan almost shouting.

"Yes hyung. Tell us everything please." Youngjae said.

"Well, you all know that I don't feel very comfortable in front of cameras. But I manage. I had my first panic attack in 2014 after our concert. I thought it was the end of it but it kept happening. After that the lawsuit happened and my stress kept growing. Only my manager and after the CEO knew. I felt responsible for the lawsuit and I didn't want you to worry and give you unnecessary stress. But since our Hawaii trip my crises kept becoming more powerful so here we are." Yongguk said with his low voice.

Jongup and Zelo were shocked. Himchan and Youngjae were pissed. Daehyun didn't know what to think.

"You're telling us that it has been nearly two years and you didn't think about telling us? I would understand if you didn't want the kids to know but at least you could have told me" said Himchan angrily. And with that Zelo started to cry. Yongguk rose from his seat and went to hug him.

"I'm sorry guys. I should have told you but I feared that you would think less of me, your leader".

"We don't care about that hyung. Your well being come first to us. We are a family!" Jongup said surprising everyone.

"He's right. But you can't blame us for feeling a little betrayed." Youngjae said.

"Once again I'm sorry." Yongguk said feeling guilty.

"But what are we going to do now? Are you leaving now or?" Daehyun asked.

"Of course not! I will do the DMC festival performance and after that I will leave. I'm sorry to let you promote Skydive and our 2nd full album without me".

"Let's just get out of here yeah?" Himchan said.

After having lunch together, B.A.P minus Yongguk went practice. Their mood were down so after 4 non producing hours. Their choreograph send them home.

Daehyun was in the living room all by himself thinking so deeply that he didn't Heard Himchan calling him.

"Dae? You're here?"

"Oh sorry hyung. What did you say?"

"I was asking if you were all right. After all you're the one who found Yongguk yesterday. And I know you didn't catch a lot of sleep last night".

"Don't worry about me. We need to do whatever we can to support Yongguk hyung." And before Himchan could reply Daehyun rose from his seat and went in his room.

*************

It has been a week since they had seen their leader. It was like he was already gone. Until one night, Himchan was cooking and the rest of the members were watching TV when the door bell rang. Daehyun went to see who it was and when he opened the door he was shocked. There he was his hyung, their leader, Bang Yongguk.

"Good evening Daehyunnie" said Yongguk with his famous gummy smile. Instead of saying it back Daehyun jump in his arm. As soon as he realized what he had done Daehyun let go of his hyung saying sorry on repeat.

"It's ok. I've missed you to." Said Yongguk laughing.

"Come in. Why didn't you enter? You know our password" Daehyun said confused.

"Yeah but I don't live here anymore and I didn't see you in a while. I didn't want to intrude".

"Oh my god hyung stop. It's your home to!"

"Daedae? Who is it?" Youngjae asked at the end of the corridor. "Hyung?! You're here! Come in". As soon as Yongguk arrived in the living room Zelo practically tackle him on the floor.

"Let him breath Zero. Well, you're here just in time. I hope you're hungry!" Himchan said bringing the food over.

It was like the last diner they had in Hawaii. They were eating delicious food and laughing with one and other. The maknae did the dishes while the others were talking in the living room. After that Yongguk said that he needed to go and that Himchan had to come with him. They said their goodbyes. Himchan said that Daehyun was in charge while he was gone and that made Youngjae not happy.

Yongguk and Himchan were at his house. Yongguk offered some beers. They talk about what Himchan needed to do while he was gone. Being the temporary leader and all. After that they talk about his illness and why he hadn't told Himchan about it. And after they talk about nothing in particular.

"Daehyunnie is beating himself up you know?" Himchan then said.

"What? Why?" Asked Yongguk shock.

"Well, he was the one who found you remember. He hasn't been sleeping for a couple of days. I think you need to talk to him and tell him that it is not his fault".

"Well dam. It's exactly why I didn't want to tell you my condition".

"No. You should have told us and we would have understand. But since you didn't tell us we are assuming that it's partially our fault. And I know deep down it is. You're caring everything alone Bang. Let us take your charge of work and go rest".

"Sorry".

"Don't worry, I forgive you. It's late. I need to go make sure the kids are asleep. See you in four days for the festival".

When Himchan arrived at the dorm everything was silent. Well almost. He heard some noises coming from Daehyun room. When he entered Daehyun was moving like a crazy person in his sleep. He face was in pain. Himchan went to woke him up.

"Daehyun-ah? It's a nightmare. Everything is fine. Yongguk is fine".

"Hyung? How long have you been here?"

"I just came back. Try to sleep ok? If you want I can stay here tonight." Himchan proposed.

"Oh no. I'm ok now. Don't worry. If I can't sleep in an hour I will come to you".

"Night Dae".

**************

They were waiting for their rehearsal when Yongguk step out of the room. Daehyun went straight after him.

"Hyung? Are you ok?"

"Yeah yeah don't worry I'm fine. I just wanted to go to the restroom before going on stage".

"Oh sorry" said Daehyun awkwardly. Yongguk pated his head before leaving.

Their rehearsal went great. Everyone knew what they have to so and when. Now then would have to wait for the real performance. They spent their time talking about their future album. Jongup even slept for a bit.

Right before going on stage Daehyun saw the strange look on Yongguk face. He went to him and saw that his hands were shaking a little. He took them in his which took Yongguk by surprise.

"Hyung, it's ok. We're here, don't worry. It's only two songs and then you can take some well deserve time". Before Yongguk could said anything then were called to go up on stage.

Their performance went smoothly but everyone could see that their leader had watery eyes. The members escorted him to their waiting room making sure no one bothered them in the way.

"Give him some water." Himchan said. Zelo arrived with a bottle right away.

"Hyung are you ok? Do we need to call your manager?" Youngjae asked.

"I'm fine. I'm just sad that it was our last performance together for a while". The room went silent. Zelo started to tear up and the other had sad expression on their faces. "Guys, I 'm not leaving you. It's a break. I will come back even stronger and we will show our Babyz some cool stuff. I love you guys".

"We love you too Bang" Himchan said for everyone.

At the exact same time Yongguk manager opened the doors and said that it was time for Yongguk to leave. The latest asked for a couple of minutes to say his proper goodbyes. Zelo wouldn't let him go. Each one of them hugs him with their maknae in the way. Then he left. The members then proceeded to go home.

They arrived and Himchan said that he was going to make food for them. Daehyun was going to help when his phone rang. Seeing the caller ID, he excused himself and went to his room.

"Hyung? Is everything all right? Did you forget something?"

"I'm good. I just wanted to talk to you about something. Can you come over? And don't tell the others please, except to Himchan". Yongguk said.

"As you wish. See you soon Hyung". Daehyun went to the kitchen and told Himchan. The latest said that he would cover for him and asked him to come back as soon as possible. And with that Daehyun was out the door.

Yongguk opened the door as soon as Daehyun press the door bell. He offered him some takeouts. They ate while talking about their appending comeback. Daehyun was a little nervous because Yongguk hadn't told him why he had called him here.

"What did you wanted to talk about hyung?"

"Well first I wanted to tell you that what is going on with me has nothing to do with you all right? I'm sorry that you were the one to found me that day. I wish he would have been any other members but you. Excluding Zelo of course. I know you have your own worries and I don't want you to carry mine" Yongguk said very seriously. "I know you like being fun and very open on broadcast but deep down you constantly questioning yourself and it's not good. B.A.P is nothing without you, know that please".

"I don't know what to say..."

"You don't have to. Oh and do one more thing for me."

"Anything!"

"Don't let Himchan carry all the weight of my responsibilities alone while I'm gone".

"Don't worry, Youngjae has divided your job among us five. We're going to make you proud!"

"I will be watching!" Yongguk said smiling.

Daehyun said his goodbyes and went back to the dorm. Himchan was waiting for him. He asked him about what Yongguk had said and wished him a goodnight.

**************

Doing their vlive without Yongguk was strange for them. But Himchan had told them they needed to make him proud. At a certain point Himchan even tried to call their leader but he didn't pick up.

Their showcase was even harder. Himchan had step up has their leader but almost forgot to do their introduction. Youngjae had to remind him. But other than that everything went fine. The fans had a great response to their new song and performance.

Even thought their promotion was doing great the same questions kept being asked. Is it hard without you leader? Do you miss him? Do you know where is he and what is he doing? Of course they missed him and it was hard doing all this without him! But they didn't need to be reminded of it every second of every day. Daehyun once had as gently as possible tell to people to stop asking this question because it only saddened the mood. And said that they were doing the best they could to make their leader proud.

Even Yongguk twin brother took to his Instagram to tell the fans to not worry too much because Yongguk was going to come back even stronger and that in the mid time they needed to support the rest of B.A.P. After that the questions stopped. The fans kept supporting Yongguk and sending messages but respected his privacy.

And their labor was rewarded by them wining a trophy on The Show. For the speech Daehyun said that this trophy was for their leader and that he hoped he was watching them. Little did he know that Yongguk was watching and he was very proud of them.

And several weeks later once again their labor was rewarded. They won an AAA because of their worldwide tour. Once again Daehyun made the speech and said that they were able to won this trophy because of their leader who was producing wonderful music for them. Once again Yongguk was watching the ceremony and was grateful for his Daehyunnie words.

With the year's end awards their Skydive promotion ended. They were proud of themselves for wining several trophies. Then they all went to spend Christmas with their respective family.

***************

After the holidays they came back one by one. They were pleased to be together again even thought them hadn't seen Yongguk for quite some time. Himchan told them that they were asked to go to the office tomorrow for discussing their next comeback.

When they arrived, their manager led them directly to the studio. When they opened the door Yongguk was here waiting for them sat on a chair in front of the console. Zelo went straight to him and gave him a hug immediately followed by the other members.

Yongguk was bombarded with questions. "Guys. We're here to discuss or next album. I will tell you everything you want to know later over dinner at the dorm ok? For now let's get to work". Glad their leader was back they did what they have been told.

Later at the dorm Yongguk told them what he had been doing while he was gone. He had gone back home and enjoy some free time with his family. He had work on music. And he said to them that he was very proud of them for wining a couple of trophies and for doing a smooth promotion without hiccups. He also told them that he had missed them very much and even thought he loved his quiet and alone Time a lot, having dinner with them and being surrounded by their laugher was equally important to him.

Their routine came back to normal after that. They chose what song they wanted to put on the album. Recorded them and chose with great difficulties what was going to be their title song. Their chat room was filled with little fight about what was the best choice for their title song.

When the album was done they started to promote it. First they dropped some photos. Fans were please to see Yongguk pictures. They were overwhelmed by joy when TS entertainment said that Yongguk was going to be part of the comeback alongside the other members. After that they dropped multiple teasers for their mv and finally after a vlive they dropped the official mv for Wake me up.

The response was great. Fans applaud the subject and the lyrics of the song. They were glad that B.A.P was true to themselves and their believes. After their first comeback stage fans had said they loved their performance. B.A.P members were glad because the first time they saw the choreography for the title song they had been choked to see that Yongguk was not with them until his part came on. They argued for quite some time about it but after some reflex ion they thought that it would make Yongguk return even greater. And they were right. The fan loved it.

The second stage was on Music Bank. Himchan was a little bit stress and was checking if everything was all right. Making sure everything was prepared. He was all over the place. Yongguk seeing this went to him and stopped his pacing with a hug.

"I'm back." It seemed to do something to Himchan because he stopped moving and talking about things that didn't really matters and hugged Yongguk back.

"Welcome back Bang." Said Himchan with love and respect in his voice. Little did they know that the others were watching them with smile on their lips.

B.A.P leader was back. Everyone had taken their rightful place in the group. They had come from this stronger and closer than ever. Of course they were going to watch Yongguk back and help him every time he was uncomfortable. They were family after all.

The king B.A.P was back.

---

I hope you liked it.

I just want to remind you that English is not my first language so I apologize for the mistakes I could have made.

As always feel free to comment.