(italic word is hyungwon talking to himself)

 

 

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Things become difficult for me lately.

It happen after some our fans pairing me and wonho hyung, minhyuk and shownu hyung. I know I should happy because our fans happy too but I doesn’t really like it. Don’t get me wrong, I love everyone in my group. I like wonho hyung too because we have same taste and he very easy to talk about everything. I think he can be my best buddy. But I just have more love for minhyuk because he is my best friend from the first time, even our mother become friends too.

Honestly, me and wonho hyung always stick together if camera with us. This is all company’s plan cause they said pairing up every member can increase our popularity like 1% (?). I don’t know anymore. I just doing what our company said.

I don’t know since when my like become love and my love become this much stronger for minhyuk. Maybe because he become very pretty after we debut? Or maybe because we always take care each other well and I let myself fall deeper? Or maybe I can’t take off my eyes from him if he around me? Or… Oh My God.. should I slowly avoid him for once? because I think If I continue like this I will end up hurting myself. But isn’t he too cute and adorable? I love when he laugh or smile the most, it’s breathtaking. I like when he just come next to me and doing nothing, it’s like he just need my company and sometimes I like to do that as well, How he would smile when I smile too and he always there listen to me when I need someone to talk.

But, I don’t think that minhyuk have same feeling like I do and I can’t make sure too, because… look at him! He so carefree and always playing around. We work with so many people. Stylist, makeup artist, managers, dancers, all of them both guys and girls. Honestly I don’t even know minhyuk straight or not! That’s very important point in my love life! Maybe he secretly date one of our co-worker or maybe one of our member? Emm.. Thought that minhyuk maybe already have someone he like or love make my heart hurt and ache, sad and angry, then my whole day become nightmare itself just because I jealous for nothing. But who know, right?? Minhyuk always easily attach to someone that laugh at his joke.

These day I always jealous if minhyuk attach too much to shownu hyung. I really don’t like it. So, I tried to not think too much and occupy myself with other member around me like wonho hyung and changkyung. I found it effective to distract myself from thought that maybe minhyuk really like shownu hyung.

“shownu hyung…come here please I want to ask something” I heard minhyuk calling from living room.

Not again! Why they always have something to discuss. Can’t he calling other member? Maybe me?  By that, my first attempt to sleep seems like never happen.

I decide to go to our living room and see what happen. And.. what I see is shownu head are too a little close to minhyuk for sake.

!! Feeling frustrated. I need to be out of here. I see someone out from kitchen and lucky it’s wonho hyung.

“wonho hyung.. lets go for coffee or something. I’m hungry” I asking without see his face and walk directly to front door. I can feel minhyuk and shownu hyung turn their head to look at me.

“okay. Wait.. with that outfit? Why you suddenly hungry?” wonho hyung asked while put on his shoes. I don’t feel answering so I just walk first.

“okkee. First you asked me to go out wih you butttt you leave me.. second why you are hungry? I thought that you are a frog who can hibernate for 16 month!” wonho asked after he reach me.

I turn my head disbelieve and of course with frown in my face.  “what? Do I look like a frog to you? Seriously? 16 month? You must be kidding me. I eat yesterday and this morning. I’m not hibernating for you information”

“hahahaha.. but you always eat so little and go to sleep for… no one can count how long it is”

“thank you. That’s make me feel better” I said with sarcasm and heading to one nearest café.

“your welcome” I think I see smirk on his face.

after we arrived I directly order my meal. “I want one jajangmyun, one portion of kimbab, one kebab and one americano, please” I said to women in counter. I can feel wonho hyung watch me with carefully and shock eyes.

“how about you sir?” that woman asking wonho hyung

“I want one ramyun and Americano, thank you”

We wait until our order come and go to corner of café so no can notice us.

“okay. Now tell me whats really happen to you, chae frog hyungwon?” he ask directly after my sit on chair.

“nothing. Let’s just eat oke? I’m really hungry now” I ignore him.

“ok ok. Then let’s take a picture so our monbebe know what we doing” then we take a picture together. I don’t think too much because I really hungry after leave the dorm, thanks to minhyuk and our leader. I eat my order without word and wonho hyung still in his phone too upload that picture.

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“oke u still won’t talk aren’t you?” we walk home after eat

“no. I think I can handle it myself. Thankyou”

“you are not handling it. You run away and pretend nothing happen when something clearly happen. Your mom will shock if she know how much you eat earlier”

I sigh maybe he’s right “ can we walk to park near to our dorm. I don’t think I can think wisely in dorm”

We end up being there for 1 hour. I told him that I have crush on someone and it make me sick because I don’t know if the other one feels. So I just keep it to myself and sometimes it hurt when see them with someone. Not a random someone, but someone that my crush potential boyfriend.

“why you don’t try to talk to them?” wonho ask me with disbelieve

“I was afraid and I’m afraid now. I was a coward and I’m a coward” I sigh

“then, when you will tell them? Are you really want see them with other person?”

“of course no. I don’t want my 3 years crush just end like that. I just not ready and find a perfect moment”

“why you don’t make that perfect moment?” I turn my head to see wonho hyung… he is smirking.. for the first time I want to punch his handsome face.

“maybe you’re right. Thanks man. Now lets go back. Its midnight already”

“yeah. I think I never wrong” I see him with disbelieve eyes and we laugh together.

On the way home he ask me what pet name I will give to my crush if we both end up together. Once again I stare him with disbelieve eyes. He just laugh and say “babe? Honey? Sweetie? Cutepie? Beautiful?” and ect. He suggest me another disgusting name and I just face palm him but I end up laughing with that name. he even make a joke about me and my crush, I really regret what I told him earlier.

Now we are at our front door and I think I could answer him for his previous question.

“maybe baby?” while he’s pressing code security

“baby?” he enter our dorm with facing me

“yes. Why not.. I think it’s sweet” I told him but I facing floor and take off my shoes. Why I told him this. This so embarrassing.

“oke then, baby.. I think you should sleep” . He mocking me again. i show him my disgust face

“don’t mock me again please. It’s embarrassing” I punch me lightly and he run away. I still arrange our shoes when I hear wonho hyung talk with minhyuk.

“ohh.. hi minhyuk, why don’t you sleep?”

“no. not yet”

Why minhyuk doesn’t sleep yet…?  I ask myself and prepare myself to face minhyuk then go to our living room. He still on his ipad maybe read a comment, watch video and of course playing game.

“why you stay up? Are you not tired?” I ask minhyuk and sat beside him. I can’t see his face clearly, I just can see his eye because there ipad between us. then he look directly into my eyes for a moment not saying anything and I swear I can feel my heart beat a little.

“why?” I ask without look at him.

“nothing” I can feel his body get closer to me and his head in my shoulder. If only he know, I really want to kiss him now.

“what are you playing? You don’t sleepy? You always with your ipad from evening” I ask him with whisper because I think he can hear because we are this close.

“iam not that sleepy.. I can stay up one or two more hour”

“no you cant. U must sleep. You need sleep so tomorrow will full with energy like always”

“stop it. Now my time to ask you some question” he’s no longer in my shoulder. Now he’s facing me. directly into my eyes.

“what?” I frown, looking at him

“why suddenly you eat so much food? I always ask you to eat with me but you keep refuse and sleep” he asking me with confuse face. I don’t know what too answer. What I supposed to say? That I purposely run away from him so I can’t think about him for a bit? That I want learn to not love you? That I just a coward to tell you? my life!

“chae hyungwon-sii?” I look at his eye. I realized that I drown in my though

“why suddently so being formal?”

“I have call you three time. You ignore me..!” he pout and pretend to be mad. He is so cute. I want that cute just for me. why can’t I directly kiss him? He’s not yours, stupid!

“hello~~? You day dreaming again..” now I just smile at him. “I’m not. I’m looking at you. I always look at you” I want to hug him now but I can’t do that.

He’s smiling.. wide smile “you being cheesy again. now, answer my question erlier.. what happen?”

“from where you know that I eat so much?” I ask him

“SNS, Wonho upload your photo with so much food around you with caption “even chae hyungwon eat so much food. Mine just 1 thing” whay this is about? Why you invite wonho hyung instead me? if you ask me I will definitely go and eat with you, do you eat with pressure and that’s  why you come home this late? and why wonho hyung call you baby and you seems happy? Are you both dating now?” he say last question without look at me.

I am so shock with so much question in one breath. I want to laugh listen to every question and I don’t miss the different intonation for last question. I just look at him in awe because I don’t even remember first question. If I want to him to repeat he definitely mad.

“wow. There so much question for this night. I tired. I can’t even remember first question” I

“noo… you not allow to sleep before answer my first to very last question” he punch me lightly and pout. I just laugh at him. And he keep punching me. He’s so childish like this.

“ok..ok.. stop it. I will answer it. Calm down ok?” he stop his punch and calm down.

I look at him and ready to answer “earlier you busy with shownu hyung so I cant invite you. I didn’t eat with pressure. I ate happily and we finish eat quickly. We when to park near our dorm and talking so we came home this late. For last question, i… yes, I date him now” I want to . I can’t wait for his reaction because this too funny (I think). I just keep thinking he reaction will childish like always and he will punch me again.

After a moment I’m try holding my smile and try to be serious, but his reaction far from my imagine. He just stare at me and I think this become awkward. My plan vanish because his reaction.

“why?” he ask with very serious tone.

“hmmm? why what?” I frown and ask him back

“why you such a ?!” now I really don’t understand he talking about. from his expression I can tell that he suddenly mad at me. He want me to answer and now he told me I’m an ?

“what do you mean, minhyuk?” am I wrong?

“No.. no.. its my fault. It my mistake being so slow” he like talk to himself instead answer my question. Then he suddenly get up from his sit. “what.. why??” I reach his hand before he far away.

“let me go! You an all this time” minhyuk keep shrug off my hand. what?? One second he call me , another second he said this is his fault now I’m an again.. what is this?

“I’m not letting you go until you told me what’s really make you like this?” I grab his hand even harder.

“I will let you know!! For all this time I think you know my signal and here I keep waiting for you to make a move. I want to make move first but I’m too afraid and coward. But now, I realized that I’m totally wrong from the start. Don’t you realized that all this time, I love you and I give you a little too much attention. I want you always happy and look at me. I don’t want you to forget about me, even we just a friend…. But still I’m happy for you because now you with wonho hyung happy to. Iam really sorry and you not an . The mistake in mine.” His voice crack a little, from anger become sad and emotional. I lost my though and loosen my grip but I keep look at him with disbelieve eyes. I don’t know what I feel now.

“now excuses myself, I know I ruined our friendship this night. this won’t happen again and by tomorrow I hope you just forget what I said. I just want we still be friend and part of this company. Don’t let this thing change us. please” he talking without look at me, he keep trying to run away from me. I tighten my grip. Not let him go. I feel a little dizzy because sudden information. “I.. I don’t know what to say”

“you don’t have to say anything. I’m embarrassed enough to tell you this and now let me go” he begging me to let him go with watery eyes. I see him struggle and i try to calming my self, “what if I can forget it tomorrow? What if this become awkward for us and other member will notice?” I look directly at his eyes and minhyuk look at me too. I pull him close toward me and put my hand two hands around his waist so basically hug him. He look shock because his eye open so big. “I will…. hypnotized you” he said with hesitate while continue to struggle. I tighten my hug so our stomach almost touching. “you can’t do hypnotized” I smile at him. I decide that this is the time to make  perfect moment like wonho hyung said earlier.

“I….. “  I kiss him before he finish his sentence. But, it just a touch. i touch his lips with mine to make him silent. His feel very soft and small compare to my lips. I really happy finally I can kiss him and my dream come true. But I feel his not moving at all, so i look at him. He look so shock and can’t say anything. I feel my cheek heat up and he didn’t say anything either. Honestly, I don’t know to do anymore. I just want to kiss him again but seeing minhyuk like that make me afraid he might hate me. when I decide to move closer again..

“!” he said with agry face. My hope fall and I froze on the spot just stare at him.

Then he grab my face with both his hand and pull me closer again. once again we kiss but this time more passionate and deep. We just move slowly and full of love then become a little more rough. Now I know is don’t up this moment and I want more, his lips taste like strawberry or something and I really like that. I bite his lower lips, when he gaps I insert my tongue to his mouth and explore every inch of it.

Oh God this is so good. Thank you for make this happen. I really love him.

“hhhmmm…” minhyuk moan and I froze. That’s make him stop either. We apart but still I can feel his breat, I can see cleary his rosy cheek, and theres little saliva in the corner of his lips. He smile with watery eyes.

“your moan so y” I smirk and kiss him again, deeper than before and longer than before. I don’t know that I have this so much lust for minhyuk. Maybe because I was waiting to long enough. But who can resist y minhyuk? Hell no! I don’t wanna miss this change.

We release when we need air and need a break. I smile at him but he just stare me day dreaming eyes again.

“why you kiss me from the start, are you playing with me cause I love you? How about wonho hyung? Am I look that easy to you?” he has frown in his face.

I think this time I need to explain everything to him “ok. First I love you minhyuk. All this time! I always look at you, like I said earlier. You just don’t notice. I try to give up when I think that you maybe have someone you date like shownu hyung or other co-worker. I feel I can throw a bus if that really happen without tell me” after I explain he become more calm down then he smile.

“shouwnu hyung?”

“yes! You always with him. if he not our leader, I will scold him anytime, enywhere even when he doesn’t wrong at all because I’m jealous. And earlier I was eat so much food because iam so upset with you and him” minhyuk laugh

“and wonho hyung?”

“I told him about my crush, you.” He cheek become red and he has shy smile. He’s so cute. “he ask me what will I call my crush when I end up with them.. and that all”

“so, what you will call me?” minhyuk ask seductively while come very close to me.

“b-baby…” I smile before kiss him again.

That night I not only explore his mouth every inch but his whole body as well.

 

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So.... thats it. I hope you all like that. thank you