.

.

.

"I'm not joking Dahyun, I love you more than anything else."

"....Really? Do you mean it? Sana, are you serious?"

"I've never been serious in my entire life. I've waited to say this to you since I had a crush on y-

"What? YOU had a crush on me? I thought you just considered me as a good little sister..."

"No, I always loved you, and just to make you sure-

With that, Sana leaned in, and lowered her lips to mine. They were coming closer and closer, my heart was almost exploding.

 I closed my eyes and waited for those-

"DAHYUN WAKE UP! WE HAVE ONLY 10 MINUTES LEFT FOR THE SHOW!"

"Uh..uhh?"  I opened my eyes.

My manager was yelling at me exasperately, I looked around and found myself in my dark room, fully dressed and in makeup.

Then I realized that I had dozed off in the sofa while I was waiting for the other members to finish their makeup.

"What? Are the members already in the van? "

"Yes! It's been like 15 minutes and we couldn't drive off without you, let's go downstairs, they're waiting for us."

I stood up clumsily, with my eyes half-open and my body stiff. I was irritated by the manager's sudden wake-up.

It had been a good dream. Her lips were almost at mine and why did he wake me up at that precise moment? Couldn't he wait for just a few seconds? Did he know that I've been waiting for that moment since Sixteen?

I shook my head and thought to myself, "It's just a dream. It's fake. Sana doesn't love you. She's your team member. Get a grip girl." But I couldn't help feeling both disappointed and frustrated at the same time. I had kept that feeling to myself for over a year, because the others think it will be crazy, and Sana will be immensely shocked and our relationship will never be the same, it will be over. If I confess to her, the news will spread and it'll end TWICE, making the whole years that we've worked together to nothing.  

But I can't simply hold back my love for her. I've remembered every moment that she touched me and held me in her arms, the first day when she kissed me in the fansign event, the second kiss which happened on my birthday. I've always picked Sana for my ideal boyfriend, and although I act like I'm annoyed with Sana's skinships, actually everytime she does that, a small fire erupts in the pit of my stomach. The little emotion that I thought it was nothing had expanded itself to a size that I knew it was 'love'. All those moments when Sana hugged me or even kissed me, I felt I was flying through the clouds. I was quite sure that her skinships were directed specfically at me. I was sure that her skinships to me were a bit stronger and carried some emotion, until I realized that I was being delusional after seeing Sana kissing other members constantly.

And I know that even if in the smallest possibility that she likes me, we can't be engaged in any romatic relationships, so I'm trying to keep that feeling down. Maybe that feeling will someday disappear.

That dream was almost a month ago. Today's date is 11/11.  I kept dreaming the same things repeatedly, only the same thing that never changes is that at the precise moment when our lips meet, somebody wakes me up. Moreover, I got control of the fire that's within me, and the days were becoming better and better, as I learned how to control my love for her.

But I didn't know that this day, November 11, will be the turning point of my 19-year old life.

I didn't know that today is the big day which I've been yearning for the past couple of months.

I headed back to my dorm with my members after musicbank had ended, the back of our van full of peperos. Our fans gave us a huge box of peperos because today was the famous 'pepero day', we tried eating it all in the Musicbank waiting room but it never seemed to run out, so our manager had brought it with us.

Finally we arrived and changed into our pajamas.

"Today was great. Great work guys, let's rest we're all tired," said Jungyeon.

We gathered in the living room, some lay drooping down on the sofa, others chatting loudly with their animal pajamas on.

I was talking with Chaeyoung about how today's MusicBank stage was, when someone said unexpectedly,

"I'm hungry. I want jokbal. I'm hungry. Give me some food." whined Momo.

We all chuckled, everyone knew Momo's crazy love for Jokbal.

"You can't order jokbal in the middle of the night. Eat those peperoes our fans gave us, we have plenty of them." said Jihyo earnestly.

All of us reached for the snack, and we were eating it without a word when suddenly Nayeon put the end of the pepero on and reached Jungyeon. Immediately my eyes followed them.

"Jungyeon let's do the pepero game. We haven't done it since Sixteen."

Jungyeon sighed like I-knew-you-were-going-to-do-that, and held the other end to .

The two started eating both ends off, Jungyeon scolding Nayeon for dropping the pepero pieces constantly.

"Let's do it too Mina, I've always wanted to do this. hehe." said Chaeyoung. Mina hesitated, and the two started the game too, more careful than Jeongyeon & Nayeon, but otherwise passionate as much.

I was watching their mouths getting closer and closer until someone had to break the thing off. Soon the pepero pieces were scattered on the floor. Jungyeon, being the official clean mum of TWICE, started to clean the little pieces. Tzuyu and Jihyo were concentrating on their phones, Momo was devouring