It’s Monday. The busiest day of the week. I marked the calendar with a cross sign. Today gonna be a bright day. The morning breeze gently slapped my face to wake me up and help me to get rid of this sleepiness. I will visit her again today. Yesterday, she successfully chased me away from her room with her cute threat. Maybe, I was just being too much. I came to the fruit store and took a shopping cart. What should I buy for her? After look around the store, I took some oranges and put it on my basket. But, I put it back again remembering she was blind. It's not practice since she needs to peel it first. I walked around once more and finally decided to bought some fresh apples for her.

I was about to enter her room when I saw the doctor was still in there through the small window on the door. She had a morning check-up. I was waiting outside her room until the doctor finished her morning check-up.

“Good morniiing!!! Have you just finished your daily morning check-up?” I greeted her brightly and put the basket of apples on the table beside her bed.

“How is your condition? Does your brain was damaged due to the accident?” I asked her and walked around her room. I stopped in front of the window and looked outside.

“I think the one who has a damaged brain is you. You need to check your brain whether it functioned properly or not. Why do you coming back here. You know your presence is unwelcomed. Moreover, why did you come this early? You ruining my mood,” she seems annoyed but I pretended not to hear.

“What a nice day! Hey look, the view from your window is very nice! Ah but it's useless to have this nice room with a great view. You are blind. To make it worst, you also can’t walk,” I love seeing her reaction and her expression whenever I made her annoyed. It was so funny. Unlike yesterday, she just kept silenced and didn’t say anything. I assumed it as a sign that she was seriously mad at me. It was dangerous. She could explode all of her anger and it will be hard to calm her down. More importantly, it was not fun when she didn’t gave any reaction to my jokes, or to be more precise my savage jokes.

“I think you especially hate me for being here today. Then, before you kick me out of here, I will leave on my own. Bye blind girl, have a nice day! See you soon!”  I decided to back off and leave her alone.

***

This morning, Dr. Jin, the doctor who was in charge of my condition came and asked me about my condition. I will go through full medical check-up this afternoon. This accident caused a fracture on my right two ribs, right hand and my right leg. Fortunately, there was no damage to my internal organ and my brain, except of my eyes. Because of the head injury, I suffered with temporary blindness. Even though it's only temporary blindness, Dr. Jin said that it could become permanent. It depends on how big this accident causing a damage to my optical nerves. Hearing that news completely destroying my life into a pieces. In my entire life, I was never ever thought I will lose my eyesight. I never thought I will blind.

I can’t completely regaining my sense even after Dr. Jin left. I still in shock and broke. Not long after Dr. Jin left, that jerk was coming to visit me again. I was not really aware of his presence. I was too busy to digesting Dr. Jin’s words regarding my condition. I was busy thinking about what will happen to me if I lose my vision forever.

He came in and greeted me nice and brightly. But it was not last long because he quickly said harsh and sarcastic words to make fun of me. It seems like he will feel something was missing if he didn’t say something hurtful. I must admit it, even though his presence was annoying, but I was so glad he came. At the very least, I could felt that I was still alive. He was right. I have nobody who will come to visit me. I didn’t tell anyone. Ever since I regain my consciousness, I only spoke to Jimin, the nurse and Dr. Jin. And of course that jerk. I only talked about my condition with the nurse who come three times a day to bring me food or to give me a medicine. I was so lonely. I can’t even play with my phone since I am blind. Well, I  don't have a phone though cause it was crashed due to accident. The only thing I could do is speak and hear. But I didn’t have anyone who can talk or listening to.

“How is your condition? Does your brain was damaged due to the accident?” he asked me.

I didn’t have enough energy to reply to his question after what I heard earlier. Listened to his words was irritating but I like it. It feels like I was not completely alone. I was mumbling some words which I was not very sure whether he heard it or not. But, it seems like he didn’t hear me.

He continue to talked about the views and the weather. Hearing his words suddenly make me feels like my whole world is crumbling, falling and vanished into a tiny dust. The anxiety of losing my vision forever took away my happiness and energy like a dementor. I was so scared. I was drown in fears. I was too afraid to imagine I can’t do the things I love to do because I will be blind forever. I can’t think of anything. My mind was blank. I was too afraid to think about anything.

The fears made me forget about his existance. I can’t even hear what he said clearly. But, I was sure that he was leaving because I heard the sound of the door being slided. After he left, I felt so empty suddenly. I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t want to keep this burden only by myself. I really want to call Jimin or Lisa right now. But, I can’t called them. My phone was crashed in that accident and I don’t remember their phone number. This painful anxiety will be solved once the result of the medical check-up that I was going to do this afternoon is out. Suddenly I don’t want to go through that medcheck. I was too scared to facing the results. I was not ready to accept the worst case scenario.

The clock seems to stop ticking. It so quiet. I even can heard my heartbeat. Worrying to much will never change everything. I need to calm myself. I was trying to get out of my bed and searched for my wheel chair. I was using my unbroken arm and leg to support my body to move from the bed to the wheel chair. Finally, I was successfully sitting on the wheel chair. I tried to move its tire with one hand. I move it toward the window. Although I am blind, I can sense the light intensity. Besides, I was able to sensing the breeze. That's why I could guess the position of the window. Moved the wheel chair with only one hand is really difficult task. The distance between the bed and the window probably not too far but I was getting so tired.

I was giving up and just sitting down and look straight. I was pretending that I already looking out of the window. I imagined the flowers were blooming, the green sprout were began to say hello to the world and the children played on the grass. I didn’t know how long I was daydreaming. The sound of the knocked door bring me back to the reality. The nurse was coming and took me to do a medcheck.

***

Around lunch time, I was coming back to her room but she wasn’t there. Where was she? Did her friend come over and they took a walk in the park? I closed the door and decided to search for her in the park but then, I met the nurse who come with Dr. Jin this morning. I asked her whether she knew where the blind girl was and she told me that the blind girl was in the middle of medical check-up right now. I thank her and she said it would be better for me to accompany the blind girl after she is done with the medcheck. The nurse told me about her condition. She was temporary blind due to head injury but there was a high possibility that it could change into permanent blindness. Her mental condition was not in a good condition right now so it would be better to cheer her up.

I was waiting in front of her room and a couple minutes later I saw her. I come up and took over the wheel chair handle from the nurse. I took her to the hospital park. I took her walked around the park and after one round, I stopped at the bench where I first talked to her. I was sitting on the bench and unconsciously began to stare at her face. We both just sitting quietly without saying a word.

“How long do you planning to sitting on there and staring at my face with that stupid expression of yours?” She broke the silenced between us.

“I am not staring at you. Where do you find such a big confidence like that? Besides, how dare you saying I look like a moron when you can’t even see my face?” I replied to her joke but actually, I was surprised by the fact that she knew I was staring at her like an idiot. It was kinda give  me a chill though. I stood up and pushed her wheel chair then walked around the park once again.

“Where are we going? I am so tired right now. Please call the nurse to take me to my room. I want to rest,” she did sounds so tired.

“I told you this morning. The weather is so good. I will take you around the park so you can feel it. I am not lying. It so much better than just sitting on your room. Staying all day in your room will make you stress even more. It such a rare opportunity for you to walk around the park and get a fresh air,” she was not protesting. Maybe she really enjoy it and want to release her stress.

“So, how is the result? When will the result come up?” I built up my courage to asked her about this sensitive topic.

“I don’t know. I am not in a mood to talk about it now,” she replied. That was the last conversation we had before I took her back into her room.

I opened the door and pushed her wheel chair toward her bed. I stopped the wheel chair and she was trying to stand up. Her hands were flailing around tried to found her bed.

“Need a help?” I was worried she might tripped and fall.

“No, thanks,” she finally found her bed and lied on it after giving so much effort.

I positioned the wheel chair so it still within her reach. She was breathing hard and tried to calm herself. Looked at her action to stand up from the wheel chair to the bed which was not even two step away with so much difficulty was really funny yet touching. I was smiling while seeing her tired face. She indeed went through so much today. A few minutes later she was fallen asleep. I bid a goodbye then left her room without making any sounds.