When Taeyeon is told that she’s going to have a female love interest in her music video, she may or may not immediately embrace the idea. When Taeyeon is told that said female love interest is going to be played by Jessica Jung, she may or may not quietly but completely freak out.

“This is great!” Tiffany exclaims. “You’ve had a giant, embarrassing crush on her forever.”

“What do you mean embar—” Taeyeon splutters, but Tiffany doesn’t even let her finish.

“Now you can actually meet her! Well, you could have met her earlier if you had just gotten your act together and talked to her during award shows instead of hiding under the table.”

“Since when did I hide under the table? You make me sound like some kind of lovesick wimp.”

“You basically are,” Tiffany says, unruffled. “And hey, now you get to play the lovesick part with her in the flesh!”

Yeah, if she lives that long.

“As your manager, I have to tell you that Jessica Jung is one of the most popular actresses in the industry so don’t mess this up.” Tiffany breaks into a grin. “And as your best friend, I have to tell you that this is your chance to finally get into her—”

“Tiffany!”

“—heart so don’t mess this up.”

Taeyeon has a feeling that she probably will.

Jessica Jung is, somehow, even prettier in person. It’s not Taeyeon’s first time seeing her as such, but it’s the first time that they’ve been in such proximity. She never hid under tables or any other objects at events that they both attended, but she never greeted Jessica either, resorting to sneaking glances at her when she was sure she wasn’t on camera.

Taeyeon would like to say that she behaves like the professional she is, but in actuality she can barely make eye contact with Jessica. She’s pretty sure that if she actually talked to her, she would either be struck speechless or blurt out something horribly embarrassing like the fangirl she is. Another person would probably try to work on this somehow. Taeyeon, however, has the brilliant solution of avoiding Jessica.

She can actually hear Tiffany’s voice inside her head saying Taeyeon, this isn’t how you do things! You need to confront your feelings, not run away from them.

Taeyeon cheerfully tells imaginary Tiffany to shut up.

She gets a text from Yoona, because Yoona is a good, supportive dongsaeng.

I saw some pics of you and Jessica unnie on set. You look cute together :)

Taeyeon doesn’t quite know how to reply to this, even though a part of her wants to bombard Yoona with questions as Yoona had worked with Jessica for a drama before.

She also gets a text from Sooyoung, because Sooyoung never passes up on an opportunity to make fun of her.

What time is the wedding? I’m invited, right?

They had been friends as trainees and were told that they were going to be put into a group together along with a number of other girls. Taeyeon remembers resenting that, as all she had ever wanted was to be a solo artist. She didn’t want to be saddled with other people; she’s never liked having to depend on anyone except herself.

For some reason or the other, their group never happened. Taeyeon got her dream to be a soloist and even though she’s immensely successful (this is the facts speaking, not her ego) and this is exactly what she wanted, sometimes she feels a little lonely and a lot lost. Even though her life is full of schedules and success, she feels a hollow place inside that she doesn’t know how to fill.

Maybe acting will be good for her. On some days, she would very much like to learn how to be someone else.

It’s obvious that Jessica had no idea who she is before the drama. Most people would try to hide the fact that they know nothing about their very famous co-star, but Jessica isn’t that kind of person. Tact isn’t really something she bothers with, and that’s something Taeyeon has always liked about her. On this particular occasion, however, she feels a bit…well, not offended, really, just kind of…okay a tiny bit hurt.

Yoona calls her to ask about a party, and Taeyeon takes the opportunity to ask her a (hopefully) casual question.

“Hey, when Jessica worked with you for your drama, did she know who you were?”

“Know who I am?”

“Yeah, you know, that you’re Im Yoona.”

“Um, yeah? She watched two of my dramas.”

“Oh.”

“Does she not know who you are, unnie?” There’s a smile blooming in Yoona’s voice. Taeyeon wants to hang up, or maybe hang herself. “Do you want me to tell her? I could give her a PowerPoint presentation on you. Kim Taeyeon 101.”

“What—”

“I’ll ask Sooyoung to help. We can make a short film.”

“I don’t know why I even called you,” Taeyeon mutters.

“Because you love us, of course,” Yoona chirps. But then, more seriously, she adds, “Don’t take it personally. Jessica unnie is just…isolated from the celebrity world. I think she wouldn’t have heard of herself if she were someone else.”

Taeyeon is silent for a moment. “You seem to know her really well.”

“Aww, are you jealous, unnie? I can add this part to the presentation.”

“Bye,” Taeyeon says, and hangs up.

Jessica’s fans buy her some giant edible fruit arrangements, and she insists on sharing them with everyone, starting from the crew. She offers Taeyeon a pineapple skewer, and Taeyeon almost drops it when Jessica’s fingers brush against hers when she passes it over.

“Be careful,” Jessica says. “Wouldn’t want to get injured from eating fruit.”

That would be an extremely lame injury, Taeyeon thinks, but she only nods and duck her head. “Thanks,” she manages.

“Thank my fans. They bought them.”

If Taeyeon were braver, she’d say I’ll tell them that at our next meeting, but she’s not so she just nods again. Nodding is a great motion.

Taeyeon’s fans, like it’s some kind of competition, arrange for a street food vendor to visit their set. Everyone stuffs themselves on tteokbokki and sundae. Taeyeon makes sure to leave a plate for Jessica. She almost adds some cucumber kimchi as a joke, but she knows that they’re nowhere near at that level so she doesn’t.

Her own food tastes a bit stale for some reason.

Taeyeon knows that everyone is frustrated with her for not being able to get the scene where Jessica walks away from her and Taeyeon stares after her. The person who’s the most frustrated is probably her.

“Let’s practice,” Jessica says, and Taeyeon thinks that her fantasies must have caught up to her because she’s imagined Jessica saying that for their non-existent kiss scene too many times.

“What?”

“The scene where I walk away and you look after me,” Jessica says, bringing Taeyeon back to reality. “Let’s practice it.”

Taeyeon agrees, not that it’s much of a choice, and Jessica smiles at her in a way just like and yet completely different from her most winning characters.

This is going to be her last comeback, because she’s not going to survive filming this music video.

Taeyeon knew it was a bad idea for them to practice alone (together), but she couldn’t have predicted just how bad of an idea it is. And also, just how bad of an actress she is.

She can tell that Jessica is struggling not to lose patience with her, and she’s impressed by Jessica’s tolerance because she would have given up on herself a long time ago. It makes her feel guilty, not just because this is Jessica but because this is someone working with her who’s being held back by her. The last thing that she would ever want to be is a burden.

“Just pretend I’m not here,” Jessica says, and Taeyeon almost snorts because—how is that remotely possible? Jessica couldn’t have been more here if a spotlight was shining on her.

“I can’t with you staring at me,” she blurts out, because if Jessica’s presence is distracting enough, Jessica’s gaze fixed right on her is something she’s surprised she’s survived thus far.

“You’re my lover,” Jessica says in that duh voice of hers. “You’re supposed to want me to look at you.”

Taeyeon knows that she’s just talking about the music video, but. She almost gives herself away by saying something like I want you to do a lot more than just look at me, but of course the words never leave her lips. It’s like she has a case of selective mutism when it comes to Jessica.

Jessica tells her that she’s a good singer, not in an I’m going to praise you since you’re my co-star and all way, but in an offhand way that only made it more sincere. Taeyeon can’t help the flash of pleasure that comes over her at the knowledge that Jessica enjoys her singing. She knows that a great deal of the country enjoys her singing (this is the facts speaking, not her ego), but this is different. This is Jessica.

“Let’s try something different,” Jessica suggests. “We’ll switch roles. You abandon me and I’ll stare after you.”

Like I could ever abandon you.

“Oh,” Taeyeon says. “Okay.”

“Make sure you look at me,” Jessica says, and Taeyeon knows she means it in an instructive way but keeping her eyes on Jessica was never a question because—

“How could I look away?”

A look comes over Jessica’s face that Taeyeon can’t read, but it’s gone soon enough. “Okay. Um, take five.”

Jessica looks like she might say lights, camera, action! as well, and Taeyeon smiles. Maybe she can do this after all, she thinks, as she reaches for Jessica’s hand. She reminds herself to drop it and walk away, even though she just wants to stay there and hold onto Jessica’s hand, hold onto Jessica.

She turns around and commends herself on not either spontaneously catching on fire or passing out when Jessica looks at her in a way that she couldn’t conjure even in her fantasies. Jessica doesn’t go overboard with her acting; she conveys more with her eyes than many other actresses express with their whole bodies.

“Acting is like playing an instrument or a sport,” Jessica says, and Taeyeon thinks that it’s true, except that you’re playing a person. It can’t be that hard; if she learned how to play Taeyeon The Idol, then surely she can learn how to play this girl.

“Sooooooo,” Tiffany says. It’s amazing how obnoxious she can make that one word sound. “What’s it like to work with the object of your fantasies?”

Taeyeon makes a face. “Can you not call her that?”

“What should I call her then? Your dream girl? Your ideal type? Your lo—”

“How about my co-star?” Taeyeon suggests, even though the word doesn’t quite fit.

Tiffany wrinkles her nose. “No thanks. Ooh, how about your wish come true? I mean, given your music video and your fan club name and all.”

“You are the lamest person ever,” Taeyeon says with a laugh.

“I think you’re confusing me with you.”

“Hey, thanks for biting me, by the way.”

“You asked for it,” Tiffany says, completely unapologetic.

“You almost gave me away in front of her!”

“I think that’s exactly what you need,” Tiffany says. “It’s obvious to anyone with eyes that you have a huge thing for her, but she doesn’t seem to get it from what Sunkyu has told me.”

“You two talk abo—”

“I thought you were the densest person on the planet, but it looks like you have serious competition for that title.” Tiffany clucks her tongue. “Man, you guys would make such a thick couple.”

“Like we can…” Taeyeon swallows. “I mean, do you even think that Jessica would like me?”

“Why wouldn’t she? I mean, yeah you’re weird and lame and awkward—”

“Thanks, I feel very reassured.”

“—but you’re full of unexpected charms and you can be funny.” Tiffany pauses. “Sometimes. And you’re not exactly hard on the eyes. It’s not like she would be looking outside of her league.”

“I just…can’t imagine her liking me back, okay?”

“Your imagination has always been lacking,” Tiffany tells her. “Don’t worry, I have more than enough to make up for it! Hey, where are you going? Kim Taeyeon, come back here!”

Q: You have a lot of female fans who are really excited about you having a female love interest in this video.

T: (laughs) Yeah. I’ve seen some of their reactions.

Q: Are you receiving more proposals now? ‘Taeyeon unnie, please marry me?’

T: Hmm, I’m still going through my previous ones. I haven’t started counting the more recent ones yet.

Q: What’s it like working with Jessica Jung? This is your first time collaborating with her, right?

T: Yes, it is. The truth is… I’m a big fan of Jessica.

Q: Oh you are?

T: Yes. (laughs) I’ve been a Golden Star for a long time. I was really starstruck when they told me that Jessica was going to be in my music video.

Q: I take it that you were thrilled then?

T: More nervous, to be honest. I’m a very awkward person so I didn’t know if I could work successfully with her.

Q: And judging from your results, I think people would definitely agree that you did. The music video turned out very well.

T: Ah, thank you. That was mostly thanks to Jessica. She gave me a lot of pointers about acting.

Q: Would you like to work with her again someday in the future?

T: Definitely. I don’t know if we can get the chance, but I would love to.

Krystal is exceedingly terrifying. Jessica is known for her glares, but Krystal’s makes Taeyeon feel like she’s staring death in the face.

“Hey, I don’t care if you’re Korea’s darling, if you hurt my unnie I’ll—”

“Soojung,” Jessica sighs. “Stop threatening Taeyeon. She’s never going to help you with your—request like that.”

“Oh.” Krystal suddenly turns a smile on her. “Taeyeon unnie,” she says sweetly, and Taeyeon feels like she has whiplash. “You wouldn’t mind doing me a little favour, would you?”

“Uh,” Taeyeon says eloquently.

Jessica intercepts again. “You don’t get to scare her and then ask her for help, okay?”

“She didn’t scare me,” Taeyeon lies.

Jessica pats her arm. “It’s okay, Tae. I won’t think any less of you just because my baby sister made you quiver.”

Krystal snickers, and Taeyeon’s blush darkens. “You’re right, unnie, Taeyeon unnie is cute when she blushes.”

Taeyeon gives Jessica a this is what you say about me to your sister? look, and Jessica just smiles back innocently.

“You should have seen her when we first started filming,” Jessica says. “All she did around me was blush and stammer.”

“You didn’t tell me this at first, unnie,” Krystal says disapprovingly. “You just said she was awkward. I would have wanted all the details.”

Taeyeon wonders if it’s possible to disappear through sheer willpower. Maybe she can make herself sink through the ground if she tries hard enough.

“Well, she was awkward,” Jessica says. “She still is.”

“You’re one to talk about being awkward,” Taeyeon and Krystal say at the same time.

“You know what,” Krystal drawls. “I think I like you after all.”

Taeyeon smiles, trying to cover her relief. Judging by the look on both Jungs’ faces, it doesn’t work.

“So, Taeyeon unnie,” Krystal says, back to that saccharine voice. “You’re friends with Amber, right?”

“Uh, yes?”

“Do you think you can introduce me to her? Like, in a friendly way.”

“Soojung has the biggest crush on Amber,” Jessica says, ignoring Krystal’s cry of “unnie!” She smirks. “She won’t admit that she’s a desperate fangirl though.”

“It’s a hard thing to admit,” Taeyeon says. “You wouldn’t believe how much soju I had to drink to tell you.”

“Ooh, give me the details,” Krystal says, eyes lighting up. “Unnie won’t tell me the whole story.”

“That’s because it’s none of your business,” Jessica says pointedly.

“Taeyeon unnie,” Krystal whines, unleashing her aegyo as she tugs at her arm. Taeyeon looks at Jessica, channelling help me with her eyes, and Jessica gives her a look that tells her you’re on your own.

She wonders why she ever thought meeting Jessica’s sister was a good idea.

“So, I heard that somebody is a big fan of mine,” Jessica says with a grin, waving the magazine with Taeyeon’s interview in front of her.

“You already knew that I am.”

“Yeah, but it’s different reading it. Now I have it in writing!” Jessica sounds and looks so happy, like a kid who got their dream birthday present, that it makes Taeyeon smile.

“Are you going to cut that out and frame it?”

Jessica looks thoughtful. “I should! Where do you get things framed?”

Taeyeon’s smile widens. “Have you never gotten anything framed before?”

“No, I just buy things already framed or I stare at a picture until it grows a frame.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you had that power. Now I’m scared that if you look at me for too long I’m going to sprout a frame.”

Jessica laughs. “Well if you do, then I can mount you up in my bedroom.”

“You can mount me wherever you want.”

“Kim Taeyeon!” Jessica is the one to blush now, and Taeyeon can’t help a grin.

I have good news!!! reads Tiffany’s text, and Taeyeon feels a mild ripple of dread underneath the wave of her curiosity because she doesn’t always trust Tiffany’s idea of good news. Then she reads the rest of Tiffany’s texts, which are riddled with exclamation marks and emojis that Taeyeon’s learned to skip past.

Jessica reaches out and pokes Taeyeon’s chin. “What are you smiling about?”

“They want us to sing an OST together,” Taeyeon says, not quite beaming but almost.

“Did you ask them for that?”

“I made a wish at 11:11 and it came true.”

“You’re so lame,” Jessica snorts, swatting her shoulder.

“You love my lameness.”

Jessica gives a long sigh. “It troubles me that I can’t deny that.”

“Da Nile river isn’t a good place to be,” Taeyeon says. “I heard there are lots of crocodiles there.”

“Good, maybe they can teach me how to shed tears. I’ve always had trouble with crying scenes.”

“I think you love my lameness because it matches yours.”

Jessica smiles. “We’re a good pair, aren’t we?”

“The best,” Taeyeon says, meeting Jessica’s smile with her own mouth.

When Taeyeon receives the music for their duet, she stares at it for a full minute without taking in the lyrics or chords. There’s something about finally having the song in her hand, the song that she’s going to sing with Jessica.

“What’s it called?” Jessica asks, poking her head over Taeyeon’s shoulder.

Taeyeon smooths her hand over the sheet, even though there aren’t any wrinkles in it. “Want and Resent.”

“Hmm. Sounds interesting.”

“Want to try it?”

“Yeah,” Jessica says, but kind of freezes up.

“What is it?” Taeyeon asks.

“It’s just…” Jessica bites her lip. “I’ve never sang with you before.”

“Well, now we have the chance.”

“Yeah, but.” Jessica’s voice is small. “What if I—what if I’m not—”

“Not what?” Taeyeon asks, gentle.

“You’re such a good singer. I’m just—I’ve only sang a couple of OSTs, and none for a while.”

“Sica.” She’s so cute. “You’re a great singer. You have nothing to be worried about.”

“I’m not at your level,” Jessica says with a half-pout.

“Well,” Taeyeon shrugs. “Not everyone can be me, so.”

“Thank goodness,” Jessica says wryly. “One you is already more than enough.”

“I feel so loved.”

Jessica grins. “You know I’m always here to boost your confidence, Tae.”

Despite how she’s teasing now, Taeyeon knows that’s true. Jessica’s never failed to support her, to encourage her, to believe her even and especially when she didn’t believe in herself. However, this time it looks like Jessica’s the one whose confidence needs a boost.

“Jessica,” Taeyeon says seriously. “I’ve heard you sing. You have a great voice, you don’t have to worry about holding me back. First of all, you’re not going to do that, and second of all, I held you back so much when acting and we still got through it.”

“Taeyeon,” Jessica says quietly, and Taeyeon feels like she’s already started singing.

“Yeah?”

“Let’s sing,” Jessica says. “Together.”

Taeyeon smiles. “Together,” she agrees.

“Here, give me my mic,” Jessica says, even though there’s no microphone anywhere in sight. Taeyeon hands her a water bottle. There’s only one, so Taeyeon uses a hairbrush for hers. Jessica grins. “You ready to sing with me?”

“Yes,” Taeyeon says. “Always.”

They lock eyes as the music starts.

Still unable to love, I know your weary heart all too well…

Q: You worked with Jessica again. How was that?

T: Even better than I anticipated. She’s a really talented singer.

Q: Are you still a fan of hers?

T: Oh yes. Bigger than ever.

Q: People call you the OST Queen. How do you think this one compares to your solo ones?

T: That’s a flattering title, thank you. Well, I think that a duet offers different things from a solo song. I really enjoyed my previous OSTs, and I really enjoyed this one too. It’s different to sing with someone else.

Q: Who would you like to sing a duet with next time?

T: Jessica again.

Q: You really liked working with her, huh?

T: (laughs) I’m a really big fan.

Go to page 9 for the full interview!

A/N: I literally wrote 99% of this in November (right after I finished RMLAS) and then I kept meaning to finish it but just didn't get around to it. Then yesterday I opened up the document and I was like, wow I actually have a lot written. I'm trying to clear my WIPs folder before it turns into a graveyard.