Sunday Morning
Not Anymore
note: you can listen to Sunday Morning while reading the 2nd half of the chapter if you want :))
Flashback.
Joshua felt his heart shatter as he looked through the DSLR camera which belonged to Mingyu; it was apparently the present Mingyu was planning to give him on their anniversary. He knew how lovely of a guy Mingyu was and how much he cared for Joshua; the one thing he didn’t know was how far his love could extend to. He had no idea how far Mingyu loved him to.
“Painful, isn’t it?”
“Hansol…”
Hansol didn’t maintain his stand afterward; it was horribly painful to be stuck between the two lovers when he was a mutual friend to both sides. He moved to sit beside Joshua, draping an arm around Joshua’s shoulders to bring him closer. Although he was pretty pissed at how easily Joshua had forgotten Mingyu last week, he also pitied him for being hurt by Jeonghan like that.
“Josh,” Hansol started off softly, “if you want Mingyu back, you’re going to have to prove yourself.”
Obviously.
Mingyu deserved the world after being so tolerant of Joshua’s insecurities and tantrums during their relationship phase. Joshua didn’t need to worry about Mingyu doing the same, because Mingyu was dedicated and he was truly in love with Joshua. He was such a gem, yet Joshua let go of him like he was nothing at all.
Tears began to pool at the corners of Joshua's eyes; why would Mingyu ever love such a useless and incapable person like himself? He didn't like reality at all; he detested the fact that Mingyu had fallen in love with him, only to get his heart broken some time later. It was horribly unfortunate for Mingyu and Joshua wouldn't blame him for trying to move on if he even tried at all.
“Come on, Josh. This is no time to cry, understand? Mingyu needs to know that you feel the same, and that you deserve him as much as he does you.”
Flashback end.
Joshua kept that well-needed memory in mind as he held a cup of freshly-brewed coffee in one hand and a packet of gummy sweets in the other; there were Mingyu's favourites and they were his must-have when he went to a lecture. Mingyu had this lecture with him every twice a week so Joshua had to make the best out of this chance since Mingyu wouldn't want to see him.
“Jisoo?”
Gulping at the sight of Wonwoo staring at him, Joshua placed both his hands behind his back and tried to manoeuvre his way across without having to interact with him – Wonwoo was not going to tolerate his antics anymore. Joshua flashed him a smile, hoping that Wonwoo wasn't going to stop him or there would be no time for him to grab a place beside or even near Mingyu.
Wonwoo grabbed hold of Joshua’s arm just before he walked into the lecture hall, “good luck.”
Before Joshua could even react or say anything, the grip on his arm vanished and Wonwoo disappeared as fast as he had appeared; it was almost as if Wonwoo came to wish Joshua good luck and that was it. Joshua was taken aback but he had no time to ponder on that, seeing as Mingyu was already taking the books out of his bag with no one on either side of him.
“Hey.”
Mingyu turned to him with no hint of a smile though surprise was present in his eyes, “hi.”
Joshua swallowed nervously and placed the cup of coffee as well as packet of gummy sweets on Mingyu’s table, “here. I know you always need these to get through the long lecture.” He didn’t allow Mingyu to respond, efficiently turning back to his own books to flip through his notes for the lecture; he didn’t think he’d make it through the lesson if Mingyu rejected them.
Much to his surprise, Mingyu simply smiled and took a sip from the coffee, his eyes going back to his notes almost immediately.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
And the rest of Joshua’s day was already made as he watched Mingyu finish the coffee and half the packet of sweets during the lecture; perhaps it wasn’t going to be that difficult to win Mingyu back after all.
*
“And that’s basically what happened,” Mingyu sighed, resting his cheek on his palm as he talked to both Wonwoo and Soonyoung, “I know he’s trying very hard but I don’t know… I mean what if the same thing repeats?”
Wonwoo might have been extremely harsh when Joshua first remembered Mingyu's presence in his life but he could only imagine how painful it must have been when Joshua got his heart broken by his ex-boyfriend. Honestly, it was amazing that Joshua even accepted Mingyu when he was insecure and all. No one had expected them to ever progress as a couple before two years was over.
Soonyoung bit his lower lip, looking at Mingyu with a rather sympathetic gaze, “but if you’re afraid, you won’t ever know if the two of you can be happy together.”
Mingyu paused all movements after hearing Soonyoung's blunt words. He had never thought of it that way before; he had never even considered the possibility that Joshua might love him more than he did Joshua one day. The thought of them actually having more time together as a couple was too difficult for Mingyu right now, knowing that Joshua was still affected by Jeonghan.
“I love him so much, I’m afraid it’s going to kill me if Joshua ever leaves me for someone else…”
“That’s the problem.”
“What is?”
Wonwoo looked up and knocked the table with his knuckles, successfully catching Mingyu’s attention, “you love him, but you don’t trust him enough to know that he’ll come back to you sooner or later. Jisoo’s coming back now, isn’t that good?”
Silence.
Joshua's return was not too late but regarding Mingyu's feelings, it was still a question mark now. Mingyu was sure of his feelings but it was another issue as to whether he was going to accept Joshua back or not. He loved Joshua deeply, no doubt but after what happened between the two of them... Mingyu was the one who was terrified now. Joshua hadn't missed the chance completely though.
Seeing the blush on Mingyu's face as he continued replying Joshua's texts, a similar thought came to both Soonyoung and Wonwoo's mind - as if Mingyu could move on without Joshua in his life.
*
*
Mingyu watched as Joshua bustled from to and fro, pushing past everyone in the hallway as he struggled to move the guitar along with him. He had co-curricular activities after school today hence dragging the guitar everywhere with him despite of the cramped hallway. Joshua looked adorably endearing as he apologised to everyone, flashing his cute smile as he excused himself from the crowd.
“You’re hopeless.”
“Shut up. He’s so cute.”
Wonwoo snorted and walked into the class first, waiting for Mingyu to come in was like waiting for the snail to win the race. He wondered if Joshua was coping fine with all the stress regarding school activities and the ex-boyfriend; Joshua was always a soft-spoken gentleman and he always put on a brave front, not letting anyone see his tears - it would be nice to ask about him every now and then.
Sitting down next to his table partner, Wonwoo nudged the quiet one. “Junhui, how’s Jisoo coping?”
Junhui furrowed his eyebrows, having been woken up from his short nap; he just had supper with Joshua last night along with Hansol. He did promise Joshua that he wouldn't tell anyone that he broke down last night; to make things even worse, Joshua nearly got himself knocked down by a car when he was crossing the road in a drunken stupor.
To tell them or not?
There was something Junhui wasn’t telling him, and Wonwoo wasn’t pleased about it. He knuckled Junhui’s head and glared at him, “stop hiding things from me. This concerns both Mingyu’s and Jisoo’s happiness, Jun.”
Sigh.
That was true too.
“You can’t tell Mingyu, alright?”
It seemed like forever before Joshua made it to the music room; he had been scrambling all over the place for the past hour or so without stopping. He ran to the lecture hall since he had to get a set of last week’s revision notes as well and he had to run straight to the administration office to manage some of his contact details. It took quite a while before he could make it to the music room.
“Hey, Joshua! Here to brush up on your guitar skills?”
“Yes, Fany-noona.”
Tiffany simply eye-smiled before patting Joshua’s head, taking her leave at once. She respected Joshua as a very talented musician; he had the voice of an angel, the guitar skills of a professional and he was a decent dancer too. Not to mention that he had a personality of a gentleman, manners of a man and bewitching good looks. She took her hat off to him for being this amazing.
That being said, Tiffany took her leave and left Joshua alone to focus in the music room.
“Hope I can get this done by today,” Joshua mumbled, placing his fingers in accordance with the chord to check the tuning of his new acoustic guitar, “I need to sing in the festival this year…”
“Sing what?”
Joshua resembled a deer caught in headlights when he saw Mingyu leaning against the frame of the door, his arms crossed over his chest with a warm smile on his face. Mingyu seemed to have been watching him for quite some time now; in fact, Mingyu seems to be enjoying this whole hide and seek game they were playing. Joshua's blush was deepening the longer Mingyu stared at him, and he couldn't help it.
Mingyu grinned, walking into the room before plopping his opposite Joshua, “play me something.”
Clearing his throat nervously, Joshua felt sweat droplets gathering upon his forehead and dripping down his sideburns. He had never played the guitar for Mingyu before; they were never this close in intimacy or emotionally so it was a nerve wrecking moment for him as well. Mingyu wasn’t too good at instruments and for his current boyfriend to be a well-rounded musician… it was a bonus.
“What would you like to hear?”
“Sunday Morning.”
Joshua finally revealed a smile of his own, a rather goofy one at that. He couldn’t help his racing heart at Mingyu’s request, “don’t you get tired of hearing me sing that song?
Mingyu would never get tired of Joshua, not any time in the foreseeable future. He would never get tired of such a spontaenous gentleman who was trying so hard to make Mingyu know that he wasn't going to give up on this budding relationship. Joshua was amazing at everything and for the life of Mingyu, he would never understand why anyone would cheat on Joshua.
sunday morning rain is falling
steal some covers share some skin
clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
you twist to fit the mold that i am in
but things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
and i would gladly hit the road get up and go if i knew
that someday it would lead me back to you
that someday it would lead me back to you
Mingyu could feel his stomach doing a couple of flips as he watched Joshua sing his heart out; he thought he'd seen Joshua at his most beautiful but this beat every other moment hands-down. Joshua singing a song he liked and playing the guitar that he treasured so much was a sight to treasure for the rest of his life.
Joshua finally opened his eyes after singing the first chorus and the second verse, staring straight into Mingyu's eyes. He seemed to know what Mingyu was feeling because he was feeling it too and not any lesser than the other.
fingers trace your every outline
paint a picture with my hands
back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
change the weather still together when it ends
That was what Joshua wanted to do with Mingyu; they had a long way to go as a couple. He wanted to kiss Mingyu every morning and have breakfast together before they headed off to work. He also wanted to go on movie and dessert dates whenever they needed to take a break from the stress. Most of all, he wanted them to be the last person they saw before they went to sleep and the first person when they woke up.
It was what Joshua wanted.
Not with Jeonghan.
But with Mingyu.
Mingyu finally placed his hand on Joshua’s guitar, effectively stopping the song and Joshua’s voice. He wanted to say something that was probably going to affect their relationship in the future. He took several deep breaths to calm himself when he saw the anxiety in Joshua’s beautiful eyes; he was not going to harm any chance of them formally breaking up.
“Shall we start over?”
“Really?”
Just as he'd asked, Joshua ducked his head and shielded his face defensively; he couldn't cry now, not when Mingyu was being this sweet and sincere. He never cried in front of Mingyu either, he wasn't going to do it now. He didn't shed tears anyhow or anywhere in public; he was going to try his best to keep the tears in.
Mingyu cooed at the cute guy in front of him; Joshua seemed to have gotten a lot more adorable during that one week break. He pulled his chair closer and cupped Joshua’s cheek, caressing the soft skin beneath his fingertips.
“First thing’s first, you need to stop hiding your tears away from me.”
Joshua felt his cheeks warm for the nth time today; Mingyu needed to stop making his heart race like that or he'd be blushing all year round when they were together. He held onto Mingyu's hands and brought them to his lips, pressing sniff kisses on his knuckles. He'd missed Mingyu a lot more than he knew up till this point.
More dates?
More fun?
Hell yeah.
As long as he was with Mingyu.
And that's the end of it! Thanks for subscribing and commenting, guys <3 I might give this one an epilogue but that'll take some time since I'm working on those near completion first!! This is technically completed so it'll be put on hold if you want an epilogue ^^
By the way, check out my three new on-going shots / short stories!!
Here's a list:
Class President & Romantic Prankster
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