Waking up was almost one of the things that Kim Taeyeon hates. Everytime she wakes up, she feels cold. Her bed seems to be much bigger than last time. But, oh how can she forget that she must always bear this from now on? Her warmth is somewhere out of her grasp. No longer in her grasp. She knows that someday, somehow, she must continue without expectations. She's not coming back. Never coming back.

Reluctantly, she left her bed in a mess and went inside the shower. With the cold water running down, she adjusted the temperature. Warm. Okay, this will do. She took her time washing her hair and suddenly grimaced with the smell of the shampoo. Sigh. Note to self: Do the groceries later and throw away her things. She just quickly finished washing her hair, then washed her body. After her bath, she immediately went out of her bathroom with only clad towel covering her. She can't bear being inside the bathroom with her scent. She faced her cabinet and looked for a decent shirt. After contemplating for a while, she just opted for black jeans and hoodie for today's outfit. Another note to self: Kill Yuri for setting me up in another blind date.

-

"So Taeng! How was you--"

"Shut up. I still have to kill you for setting me up in that date. I'll kill you later. Remind me, okay? I still have groceries to do."

Yuri frowned and shook Taeyeon's body.

"Yah, I told you that you need to be loosened up, right? Don't think too much. Don't be cold too much too. I'm here. We're here. You know you could always talk to us or something." Yuri worriedly looked at her.

"Anyway, I don't have anything to do. Want help with your groceries?"

"No thanks, bud. You can just go and enjoy yourself with Hyo. Go clubbing or whatever. I'll go now." Taeyeon slowly walked away and sighed. 

Yuri could just sigh with her friend. Tsk. People who fall in love with the wrong person. With Taeyeon's retreating body, Yuri fished out her phone from her pocket. She called a certain number and waited until it was picked up.

"Hello? Yuri unnie?"

"Hello dongsaeng-ah! I just have a question..."

"Sure unnie. What is it?"

"Uhh... Are you still pursuing that girl you met with your Taeyeon unnie?"

"Uhm yeah. Why unnie?"

"Nothing. I was just worried about your Taeyeon unnie. All of us are. And now, I'm worried about you. Does she still give you cold shoulders?"

"It doesn't really matter to me unnie, don't worry. I'm not backing down on her."

Yuri smiled at the statement. She's really stubborn. Just like her cousin.

"Arasseo. Just... When you're already hurting, stop it, okay?"

"Don't worry unnie. I know the limits. I won't be a martyr like Taeyeon unnie. Hehe"

"Just make sure of that ssaeng. Anyway, can you go home to your Taeyeon unnie's apartment? Just in case, you know..."

"Okay unnie. Don't worry, I'll be there when that cousin of mine goes home drunk again. *sigh*"

"Arasseo. That's all. Go home after class, okay?"

"Sure unnie. Bye!"

"Hm. Bye-bye!" Yuri ended the call and texted Hyoyeon.

To: Hyorengi

Guess who's up for the party tonight. 😁

 

-

 

Taeyeon immediately went back home after shopping for groceries. She went to her bathroom and got the shampoo bottle she used earlier and threw it to the trash bin. Same for the cologne inside her drawer, brush comb, a small towel, a lipstick, and a certain necklace that she just hid under her pillow. She almost cursed when she realized that there are 2 of this necklace. The other one is with her. Nah, I'm sure she already threw it. She sighed again for the nth time this day and went to the trash bin. She got the black bio bag out and carried it out of the apartment to her front gate. She went back again in her pad and contemplated for a while. There's nothing to do here anymore. Might as well go out again.

She's not suppose to go to her "usual" place anymore since she has already been warned by her friends, but she just can't take out her mind off of the things that has happened. Especially about a certain she.

She entered the smoky club and was actually quite surprised that she doesn't find it gross anymore. I guess I'm already used to it. She made her way towards the counter and planned to order her usual drink. "No, Taeyeon. No more alcoholic drinks." Suddenly, Yuri's voice rang inside her head. She sighed again. (How many times had she sighed today?) She just told the waiter to hand her a cocktail. While waiting for the drink, she turned around to see the dance floor. There's not much of a crowd since it's still 4 in the afternoon. Happy hour would usually be from 10pm to 2am. 

Her reverie was soon stopped when the bartender coughed a little to get her attention. She smiled thankfully and got her drink. She again faced the crowd. She thought she could have a peace of mind but her attention was taken again to the front door being opened. She boringly stared at some guys who entered and was about to take away her attention but a certain person who entered next, with a man whose arms are around her waist, caught her attention.

She could no longer take away her attention from them. She stared at the new comers and from where she seated, she was sure that she had a brief eye-contact with the girl. She shook her head hard. No. I should not be affected anymore. She then, turned back and put her glass on the counter and was about to go stand up when a random girl went to her. Urgh! Not again! Before the girl could utter any "flirty" words to her, she beated up the girl to it.

"I'm not interested." She shrugged her shoulders to take away the girl's hand away and immediately went to the door. She opened the door and looked back for a split second (because she can't help it) and once again saw her already staring at her. She immediately pushed the door and went out. She leaned her body against the wall beside the door after she closed it. She sighed. 

The door was opened again and the second she saw the girl's back, she was ready to run, for she knows who that was but the girl was also quick to notice that there was someone behind/beside the door. Taeyeon could not move anymore when she saw the girl's cold eyes. The same ones she fell in love into.

After a few seconds of just staring into each others eyes, Taeyeon was quick to gain her inner conciousness and walked, passing her by. 

"Tae" 

Taeyeon almost stopped walking but she dared to still continue on her steps.

"Taeyeon"

Still walking, she closed her eyes for a while. 

"Kim Taeyeon." and a hand on her arms made Taeyeon almost yell.

"You're done with me, aren't you? What do you still want?!" Taeyeon half-yelled while gritting her teeth, somehow making herself be sane still. She's going crazy. May it be from anger, hopelessness, or simply from her being here and calling her.

The girl did not speak and just stared at her. She must have been at loss of words by seeing Taeyeon like that. Taeyeon was calm and her eyes was always blank-- a facade she made. But the Taeyeon that she's seeing now has eyes that spells tiredness and hatred.

"What do you want, Jessica?! If you have nothing to say, please let go of my arms. I have more important things to do" Taeyeon's voice was colder this time.

Jessica smiled. A bitter one.

She slowly walked towards Taeyeon-- her hands extending to the older one's neck. Taeyeon shivered. Please. Please. Please. Don't let her get under my skin again, please. Taeyeon looked down and closed her eyes. This is her weakness. Her touch. HER.

She felt her chin being lifted up, and slowly a pair of lips landed onto hers. She wants to cry. I hate you. I hate you for making me weak. I hate you for coming to me without realizing that I'm deeply hurting. I hate that I still love you after all.

Slowly, Taeyeon responded into the kiss and just let her tears fall. 

"I think it's going to rain any minute soon..." Jessica trailed off after the kiss and looked up to see the dark clouds.

"...Am I still invited at your house?"

 

-

 

Taeyeon fished out the key from her back pocket and opened her door wide enough, letting Jessica to enter first. She then followed suit and went to the kitchen to have a glass of water. On the table, as she placed the glass, she saw a post-it note.

Unnie, I'm suppose to look after the apartment and be here

but Wendy told me that Irene unnie caught a fever... and you

know I can't just sit here, without doing anything. 

Sorry unnie. I'll be back early in the morning though.

:)

-Seulgibear

Taeyeon smiled warmly at the note. She poured water into the glass and went back to the living room and handed it to Jessica.

"Irene caught a cold?" she briefly asked.

"Hm. That cousin of mine was stubborn enough to wait for her boyfriend in the rain yesterday. And the jerk of a boyfriend of hers did not show up, leaving her crying in the rain." Jessica shared after drinking her water and rolled her eyes upon mentioning what happened to her dear cousin.

Taeyeon inwardly scoffed. I pity my Seulgi. Then, she rolled her eyes when her inner brain just need to have a counter. You're more pitiful.

"How'd you know?" Jessica asked.

Taeyeon immediately composed herself and shut down her stupid inner brain for a while. 

"Seulgi left a note. She mentioned it there." she explained. 

"Hm." Jessica nodded.

The atmosphere was far from being comfortable, but Taeyeon needs to speak.

"Why did you kiss me? Why did you go after me earlier?" she asked. Head was still hung low, afraid that if she see Jessica again, she'll melt down inside.

"I don't know. I just want to." was the nonchalant answer.

Taeyeon deeply breathed.

"I'm asking you a proper answer Jessica." 

"I'm saying the most honest answer I could say Taeyeon." 

Taeyeon looked upon Jessica to counter, only to be faced with a face. Taeyeon moved back at the little shock and quickly composed herself.

"Should I remind you the meaning of "personal space"?" Taeyeon sarcastically remarked.

"Oh come on! We'd already passed that stage." Jessica smirked.

"Much more than that stage, actually." she continued.

"You said you're done. What are you doing?" Taeyeon was giving all of her just to not crumble under Jessica's stare. Luckily for her, she had a moment to breathe again when Jessica backed out.

"Our wedding's in two days." 

She couldn't understand it, but Taeyeon heard her heart shattering again and again after that short statement. She knew it beforehand. She knew that Jessica would marry that guy soon. But she didn't know the exact date because she was afraid to know. And now that she's hearing it from Jessica herself, she doesn't know what to do anymore. 

"Congrats, I think..." Taeyeon smiled.  A forced one.

"But you did not answer my question." 

Jessica sighed. Call her selfish and all, but she just can't let go of Taeyeon. She doesn't even know what's holding her back. It should have been just a one time thing with no strings attached, but soon, it became more frequent, and she was 'addicted', but she doesn't have any feelings. Or that was what she always tell to herself.

"I don't know too, Taeyeon." she just safely answered.

Taeyeon smirked in bitterness. 

"You always don't know what you know but denies." Taeyeon stated.

"You're not giving me answers, you're giving me false hope, Jessica." Taeyeon added. A moment of silence engulfed the two. Taeyeon sighed.

"I'm tired. I'll sleep now. Please lock the door on your way out." Taeyeon stood up from the couch and headed to her bedroom.

 

-

 

"You're one of a stubborn girl, unnie. Tsk." Seulgi talked to the sleeping girl on the bed. She arrived at the Bae's house with quite a sight. Irene was in the living room bawling her eyes out on the movie shown on the TV screen, with a bowl of popcorns in her hand. What catches Seulgi's attention was the movie. It was currently showing a happy scene and it doesn't seem to have a heavy drama, and yet, Irene was still crying. 

*flashback*

"Unnie." Seulgi called out after a few moments of watching how Irene Bae cries just because of a jerk boyfriend.

"What are you doing here, Kang Seulgi?" Irene, upon noticing and hearing Seulgi, immediately wiped her eyes, turned off the TV, and shot her a glare.

"Tsk. Wendy told me you caught a cold, and yet, here you are, watching a movie. Shouldn't you be on your bed right now and sleeping?" 

Irene rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"Shouldn't you be on your own house right now and minding you own business?" Irene, again, rolled her eyes as she got up and went to the kitchen.

"You're my business, though." Seulgi shrugged while following Irene, but immediately stopped upon seeing Irene looking back at her with a glare. She smiled innocently.

"I am not anyone's--especially a stranger's--business, Kang." Irene stated and opened her fridge to get a bottled juice.

Seulgi just smiled and watched Irene. Seeing the bottled juice Irene got, she immediately went to her and got the juice from Irene's hands and put it back on the fridge.

"What are you doing?!" Irene called out, but Seulgi ignored her and offered her a glass of water instead.

"Please. Just for today, don't be so stubborn and just drink this water." Seulgi handed her the water and Irene just stared at it. 

"Please?" Seulgi insisted. Irene rolled her eyes and drank the water. Seulgi smiled.

Irene stared at her with a brow scrunched up, looking displeased. Seulgi answered with a questioning look.

"What?"

"What are you still doing here? Disappear and never come back again!" Irene just walked pass by her, walked to her room and closed the door with a slam.

Seulgi just watched and sighed. Since Irene was alone in the house, and no one could really look after her, Seulgi decided to stay (since she already wrote to her Taeyeon unnie). She made herself comfortable on the couch and turned the TV on. She browsed some channels and just landed on a cartoon channel. After seeing the time on her watch, she turned the TV off again and slowly went to Irene's bedroom, just stopping before the door. She was contemplating to knock or not, and was hoping for Irene to be asleep already. It was already an hour anyways since she slammed her door.

Opting to do the former, she tried her luck.

"*knock* *knock* *knock* Unnie?" she pressed her ear against the door to hear a response, but after a few moments of still hearing nothing, she tried to twist the knob, and to her quite surprise, it was not locked so she slowly opened the door and welcomed herself in. While tiptoeing, Irene suddenly moved and faced towards her direction making Seulgi be frozen on her spot. She was afraid Irene would see her and make the latter hate her more. After seeing Irene, with still eyes closed, fixed her position, Seulgi released a breath that she was not even able to realize she was holding. She continued on tiptoeing towards the bed and when she finally did it, she silently cheered for herself.

*end of flashback*

"I swear to all living daylights on earth, if I see that Taehyung hurting you--may it be intentionally or not--again, I'm going to punch his handsome face so hard." Seulgi talked to the asleep Irene, as if the latter could really hear her.

Suddenly, her phone rang, making her panic a little and immediately answered it without looking for the caller's ID.

"Good evening Seul!" a cheerful voice greeted her. Seulgi got a questioning look and looked at her watch for the time. It was already 10 in the evening for pete's sake, and yet the caller just have to greet her in a very cheerful voice. She stood up from the bed and attempted to distance herself to be able to answer the call, but she got the surprise of her life when suddenly, a hand held her wrist, stopping her. She slowly looked back, only to face a very, VERY cold face, glaring at her. She gulped the invisible lump in and wanted to move, but she can't. Her mind was on a jumble on whether to explain to Irene first why she entered her room without permission, or apologize for waking her up, or just run out of the house. She opened with an attempt to explain, when she suddenly felt her phone on her grip be stolen.

"Yes, good evening to you too Jimin. Seulgi is already asleep now, so why don't you sleep now too and maybe, never wake up!" It was calm at first but Seulgi just have to be surprised for the 3rd time today when Irene shouted on the phone while saying the last phrase. Seulgi is shaking a little now, seeing Irene glaring at her again. O my ghad, please, let me die right now in your hands. Just not in Irene unnie's hands. It'll be hell.

"You--" Irene started but the phone rang again, making her shout at the caller.

"What?!!"

"Uhhh.. chill. I just want to know, why do you have Seulgi's phone?" Turned out, it was Park Jimin again.

"That is totally none of your business!" Irene rolled her eyes for the nth time today and was about to end the call when she remembered something.

"And oh! Park, tell that buddy of yours that we're done. Not that we really became something. Tsk." She scoffed at no one in particular and ended the call then shutting it down.

Seulgi was once again in tense. She thought that the call would finally save her, but it seems like it was just a hindrance. Though she was curious about the meaning of Irene's last statement, she can't still ask.

"Uhhh... I think... I think I should go n-now." Seulgi stammered and planned to walk away when Irene replied her with a threat.

"You walk out of that door, you're dead." 

Seulgi slowly looked back at Irene's direction but looked at everywhere but Irene. I walk out of the door, I'm dead. I stay here inside, I'm also dead. Waaa TT TT

Irene moved to one side of the bed and patted the space beside her.

"Lay beside me here." 

Seulgi was not sure anymore if she was actually hearing the right thing or her mind is just playing games with her. She was not sure anymore, so she just stayed at her place.

"Kang Seulgi, did you not hear me? Do I need to repeat myself twice?" Irene asked in a stern voice, so Seulgi immediately went to the bed, and laid herself, and also careful not to be so near Irene. She just stared ahead, not knowing what to do. Suddenly a movement was created and - a hand hugged her waist, a leg went over her leg and a face went dangerously near her neck. Seulgi was frozen and became stiff as hell, also her brain just stopped working. It was just her heart that still functions. Overly functions, actually. Beating with a speed of a mile per second.

"Sleep." 

She felt goosebumps when she felt the hotness of Irene's breath on her neck. And she felt her heart about to explode when she felt Irene's heartbeat beating as crazily as hers.

"Sleep, Seulgi, sleep." Irene whispered and Seulgi complied. She might as well just really sleep for she needs a very precise explanation tomorrow.

 

-

 

Taeyeon woke up with her alarm blaring so loud throughout her bedroom. She groaned because of the disturbance and turned the alarm off, before covering her body with her blanket. She turned around and again for a few moments before she finally sat up with a frown on her face. She can't go back to sleep, so she just decided to go out of her room and proceeded to her kitchen. She got a half a glass of water and drank it up in one gulp. Since she was feeling lazy, she did not cook her breakfast yet and just went to the living room instead.

On the center table, she found a paper. She examined the paper and read the name on the outside. Kim Taengoo.

She opened the paper and found a handwritten, average letter.

Taengoo, 

You might be still mad at me or something,

but I realized just now that you're right.

I always say "I don't know" to things I 

know but denies. You know, I kind of regret 

meeting you in the first place. Then maybe,

I wouldn't be so confused about my feelings.

Let me confess to you something. I rejected 

his proposal. You did not even notice that I 

don't wear any ring.

Do you know why I told 

you about that wedding lie? Because I was 

waiting for your reaction. But then, you

just answered a 'congrats'. I guess you''ll

be better off without me.

And sorry for barging

in your room last night, too. I saw you crying

even in your dreams, so I guess I don't 

deserve you. I've hurted you so many times

and so deep now that I'm afraid I can't heal

it. I guess this will serve as my apology to

you.

And I'm not gonna deny. I'm not gonna

stop myself anymore.

I love you. Just know that.

 

-Jessica

 

 

-

A/N: It's hanging, I know. :p

Btw, Oppa! Your request story is finally done. (You know who you are)

Anyways, thank you for reading. Have a great day ahead. 

pyoooooong!! ^_^