“I can't. I need to work now. Sorry." Sehun just stare blankly to his phone. He just hear his heart broke into pieces. It's not the first time. And he know this not the last.

Oh Sehun then walked reluctantly to a nearby couch. Time showing 2:00 AM. Without him knowing, tears have fallen, for the umpteenth times.

This night supposed to be their third anniversary. But it's look like what he been expecting never going to happen. All the plan he make is failed. And the food he prepared has turned cold.

Sehun silent cries turn into heartbreaking cried. Repeat all the things zitao ever do to him. Its beautiful and hurt at the same time. Maybe, everything has changes. but there's nothing left behind.

Maybe he is too stupid. Maybe he close his eyes too long that he blind to see what zitao have done to him. Maybe. Or maybe sehun just doesn't care. As long as zitao is his.

"You're so beautiful tonight." His pale cheeks turn into tomatoes. Zitao always have a way to make him blush.

"You too." He says shyly. He looks into zitao natural black eyes. Only find a softness in there. Pull him into zitao's worlds. And make him trapped in there.

"i'm wondering how you would turn into when you getting older. Will you still as beautiful as now?"

"Then stay by my side and wait untill i'm getting old." Sehun says.

Zitao kiss his lips lovingly, "You know i will. At that time, you will realize how much i love you when you see me by your side in your rocking chair. I promise you forever."

Sehun smile at that. "Don't promise me forever. Just love me day by day."

His frail body walking to the bedroom with empty step. Remembering the old days when Zitao still being the sweet Zitao. Zitao who make sehun fall in love to him deeper every days. 

At this time, he starts to wonder. Will they be able to make it every day? Untill they old. Untill they buried in the ground.

"Sehun, today's i'm coming late, just sleep and don't wait for me."

"But you promise to come with me to see Kris Hyung's exhibition."

Zitao just stare at sehun, then take a deep breath, "i'm sorry, okay? Nowadays my jobs is really a lot. I hope you understand. But i promise you if my job is over, i'll go there, okay?"

"No- just don't promise me. Just come if your job is over."

"Sehun... i'm sorry.." he held sehun's face, touch it with softness, but no, there's something missing. sehun can't see zitao usual loving stare.

"It's okay. I used to it..."

He just sat there, in their shared bed, staring blankly into the space. Wondering why everything turns into a mess. Turn into something that sehun never dream of.

Sometimes, he just hope and begging to god, to take he back when they started.

Sehun close his eyes when Zitao enter the room. he smiled silently, but then it's turns into silent tears when zitao climb next to him, he can smell a strange parfume. Smell that's doesn't belong to any of them. But its all over zitao body now.

Sehun feel Zitao's hand s around him, and like always, its succes to make his heart in peace.

"Zitao..." he calls in broken voice.

"Hmm? Your not sleep yet?" Zitao asked hoarsely.

Sehun just silent, neither of them try to say something. But what's make his heart hurts is the fact that zitao doesn't ask anything about his broken voice or his trembling body, it was obvious that he was crying, but zitao doesn't seem to care.

"Can i ask you something?"

"...what?"

Sehun turns his body to face zitao, looking deep into zitao's eyes, his face must look so messy right now, "can you please just stay by my side untill the rest of my life?"

Zitao just stare blankly at sehun, he looks like he lost in words.

"Why are you crying?" But sehun doesn't seem to answer it.

"You want me to promise you?" Zitao asked doubtfully

Sehun shakes his head, "no, it is an request." He says, "you don't have to answer me though,      i just need your action." It is the last thing he says before buried his face in zitao's hard chest, try to sleep in zitao's warm bodies, but foreign smell.

He doesn't know since when he was in the bathroom, sitting in the bathtub full of water. In just zitao's white shirt.

There's no tears anymore. He want to cry but no tears come out. There's nothing left. He is in the point of despretion, he wants something to make him realise that he not gonna be okay, his relationship with zitao never gonna be okay anymore. Nothing can fix it.

He press something in his phone that he just realise he already held it in his right hand from the start. He calling zitao.

"Sehun?" Zitao's voice that call his name make him think that he just should be strong, endure all the pain. Comfort him that everything will be okay.

"Zitao..." his voice starts to trembling.

"Sehun, why don't you sleep, this already midnight. Didn't i tell you not to wait for me? I won't-"

"Zitao... thank you..." now his voice starts to broke down. Same things goes to his life.

"What- sehun, what happened?" He smile faintly. He can hear worrieness in zitao's voice. At least zitao still care about him. Even though it's just a little.

"Thank you for this beautiful three years. You don't have an idea how importants you are to me. How meaningful our memories together."

"Sehun... what do you mean? Please don't say something weird, i don't understand at all."

"What parts you don't understand, zitao? Didn't it was too clear? That you mean everthing to me. Everything that we've been trough, its very special to me. Even though this past six months everything seems to changes."

"S-sehun..."

"I know zitao... i know..." he start to sob even harder, "i know what have you've done to me, all affairs you do behind my back. All this time, i know everything zitao, i know the truth, even if its just from your eyes. And it's hurt me as hell zitao, its really hurt to just imagine what have you done behind me."

"Sehun... i'm sorry baby, i'm sorry... please don't cry"

"Its hurt zitao... its hurt that i felt like i'm dying. But its the truth, i'm dying right know, my soul is broken. And this all just make me wanna die."

"Sehun... baby please don't talk like that. I'm coming home right now, okay? Please baby, stop crying."

Sehun smile, "You don't have an idea how much i miss you calling me that. How much i wish that you care about me again."

"Sehun, when i got home, lets we talk about it and start from the start okay?"

"Zitao... i'm sorry but its... too late."

"Se- what do you mean baby? Nothing too late, we can still fix it. We can still talk about it."

"No... there's nothing left to do. Nothing left to say. I have given you my all, and you've thrown it all away."

"Sehun..."

"I'm too tired zitao, i'm too tired to close my eyes for this past six months, now i can't endure it anymore. It's a little too late now. I'm a little too gone. A little too tired to just hanging on. And now i feel like just to end it."

"What do you mean, Sehun? You want to break up? Sehun- no, lets talk about it at home!"

"If you think that i want to break up, then you don't understand me good enough, all i want is to end it. Cause i realize it now. You didn't love me anymore, it is the truth. I know that you too tired of me, maybe you want your old live where you freely to sleep around with girls and boys. And i'm too stupid to think that i succed to changes you. I'm sorry that i ever think that we will be forever, but you just prove to me that there's will never be forever."

"Sehun, please stop say something like that, okay? I'm close to our home now, lets talk about this at home." Sehun just silent. He stare at the knife in his left hands, slowly he bring it to his right hand, where he was holding his phone. With a smooth movement and a faint smile, he slide his wrist with it. Surprisely, he doesn't feel hurt at all, all he feel is relief. Then he bring his phone to his ears again, with his injured hand.

"Thank you zitao, even though this is not forever, but this is the best think that ever happen to me."

"Didn't i promise you forever? Please don't give up on us!"

"Promise are mean to be broken."

"No baby, i will prove it to you!"

"I'm sorry zitao. I love you"

"Hey, i love you too, okay?" With that, sehun close his eyes with beautiful smile in his lips, the words that he been dying for the last six months to just hear it. "And don't be sorry, i'm the one such a jerk. I'm at our front house right now. Where are you?" But zitao didn't get the answer. Didn't hear anything through the phone. 

"Hello? Sehun?" He keep walking untill he at their front bedroom. "Sehun?" His face turn into the confuse one when he didn't see the sight of sehun. Then zitao walk into bathroom, didn't realise that he held his breath. 

And the sight inside the bathroom make him lost his breath. Sehun. Drowning in bathtub full of water and blood.

His Sehun. His beautiful Sehun

"Seh- sehun... no!!" He shout. He cry. His foot run as fast as he could. Run onto the love of his life. His hand is trembling when he touch sehun cheeks. So cold. He check sehun's pulse. And he can't feel anything.

He helds sehun body. So tight. Like he never let go of him. But it's too late now. Sehun is gone, even though his body is in zitao's arms.

"Se-sehun... baby... i'm sorry..." he start to sob. Start to regret everything. Start to blame himself. What if he come soon? He might have a chances to stop it all. To fix everything with sehun.

"There's nothing left to do. Nothing left to say. I have given you my all, and you've thrown it all away."

And then he remember it all. Realise that everything he done would never enough to make sehun stay. Because like he said, he too gone, too tired.

And the only thing he know, that he still fall in love with sehun. Too ing in love that the only thing he know is just to be with sehun, forever. And it's just have one way. The knife beside sehun.

"I'll prove it to you, sehun. Promise aren't mean to be broken."

 

END

 

sorry if this is not like your expectations. I promise you guys to make a better story in my next fanfics.

 

Please leave a comment if you like it

See you soon♡♡