“I’ll call you a little later so you can talk to your grandmother, okay? So keep your phone by you. Unless you’re on a really good streak with your report, don’t pick up then, just call me back when you’re done.”

Hanbin grinned at his mom and nodded. “Right, so you can make grandma think that I prioritize my education over my family?” 

His mom swatted his arm and shook her head. “She’ll already think you do since you’re not coming.” She was only teasing him, though. 

“True, but still, I’ll pick up.” 

She smiled at him and leaned in to kiss his cheek. “I made you some food for the weekend, it’s all in the fridge, all easy to heat up.” Hanbin nodded, grateful she’d done it for him. But the look on her face gave him a moment of concern before she dropped the unexpected. 

“I made enough for two people, in case you have company over.” 

Hanbin could physically feel his cheeks turning red. She meant Bobby. Of course she meant Bobby, because she knew, even without asking her (which he really should have, just to prove he was responsible and didn’t have anything to hide). 

“Listen, sweetheart,” she waited until he looked at her before continuing, “whatever you do, be responsible. If you have company over, which you can, just make sure your report is done, and done well. That’s the whole reason I’m letting you stay home, after all. But when you’re finished if you want to havesomeone over, just be smart. I know you will be, but consider this your reminder.” 

Hanbin’s smile was a little bashful in the face of his mother’s honesty. He didn’t deserve his parents. They were too good to him sometimes. “Thanks, mom. I promise my report will take top priority, okay?” 

“It better.” 

He leaned forward and hugged her, still slightly embarrassed but pleased she’d brought it up. He locked the door behind her and stood with his back to it, grinning to himself. He pretty much had his parents’ blessing for a night with Bobby. His mom had actually cooked enough food for the both of them,expecting him to come over. 

But Hanbin wasn’t about to invite him over without finishing his project, he was far too responsible and wasn’t about to disrespect his mother’s thoughtfulness either. So he went to his room and sat in front of his laptop at his desk, getting to work on his paper. 

Hanbin finished his report around six, spurred on by the promised reward of the coming night. He showered quickly and relaxed for a bit, texting with Donghyuk for a last minute pep talk about what to expect. Bobby showed up at exactly seven on the dot, as they’d agreed. 

“Did you really just get here, or have you been waiting in the hall for the exact time?” Hanbin , standing back to watch as Bobby toed off his sneakers. 

“Get here early? Nah, sounds like something a loser would do.” Bobby teased back. He actually had gotten there early, but he’d sat in the hall for ten minutes, getting himself together. Hanbin had told him seven, because of his report, and Bobby wanted to respect his timing. 

“Mm, sounds like something a loser would say.” Hanbin grinned, waiting for Bobby to drop his bag and shrug out of his coat before walking into his arms for a kiss. That kiss was interrupted by Bobby’s growling stomach. 

“You were serious about dinner, right? My mom tried to make me bring some food with me but I turned her down.” 

Hanbin grinned and pulled him into the kitchen, fixing them both a plate. “Not lying! Mom even specifically told me she’d made enough for two in case I had a guest.” 

Bobby grinned and wrapped his arms around Hanbin as he got the food ready. “Did you tell her I was coming over?” 

“No, but I guess it probably wasn’t a stretch for her to guess I’d be inviting you. Do you wanna go watch a movie while we eat?” 

“What kind of movie?” Bobby waggled his eyebrows, and Hanbin groaned. 

“Nothing dirty, okay? We’re eating first.” Hanbin led the way into the living room, where they settled on some action movie that Hanbin had seen before but Bobby hadn’t. Hanbin wasn’t sure how much he’d actually be concentrating on the movie, so he’d let Bobby pick. 

They sat close together while they ate, but they didn’t get entangled with each other until after they’d finished eating, and that was when Hanbin’s nerves decided to sneak up on him, unexpected and unannounced. 

He was sitting in the corner of the couch, Bobby next to him, and Hanbin had a leg thrown over Bobby’s lap. Bobby’s fingers were squeezing his leg, no real pattern to the movement. But Hanbin’s eyes couldn’t stray far from them for long. 

It was stupid. He’d been perfectly fine an hour ago, when he’d been talking to Donghyuk. He’d done a barrage of reading about it lately, ever since he and Bobby had exchanged their I love yous. Reading about things always made Hanbin feel better about them, made him feel like he understood everything. So why was he getting nervous now ? 

His nerves must have been projecting outward more than he’d realized because Bobby suddenly paused the movie and looked at him. 

“You okay, Bin?” 

Hanbin nodded, trying to fake it. “Yeah of course.” 

Bobby knew better, though. “Let’s lie down instead, okay?” Bobby got up and pulled on Hanbin’s hands until he stood up, and maybe it was the slightly ridiculous dance of it all that made him feel a little less nervous as he settled down in front of Bobby, smiling when Bobby wrapped an arm over him. 

“Is this better?” Bobby’s voice was at his ear, all affection as he kissed Hanbin’s neck. 

It was better. 

“Yeah, this is good.” Bobby started the movie back up and Hanbin relaxed for a while, his mind half on the movie, half on how nice it felt to lie down with him, how comfortable he was with the weight of Bobby’s arm over his chest. A few minutes later and Bobby’s left leg had snuck its way over Hanbin’s, like some kind of cuddly koala wrapping himself around a branch. Hanbin closed his eyes for a minute. 

Bobby, on the other hand, was having the hardest time being polite about the whole thing. It was still fairly early in the evening and he didn’t want to rush Hanbin into anything. But he’d been thinking about this literally all day after thinking about it all night, and now a palpable desire had settled on his shoulders, whispering in his ear to speed things up. 

Watching the movie was helping, because it was something he was actually interested in, but it couldn’t stave off the excitement that came from knowing that very soon he was going to have Hanbin completely underneath him. It also didn’t help matters that Hanbin’s was right there against his (which was already getting hard, despite how much he was trying to control himself). 

He wasn’t an animal with no self control. He could handle this. He could totally handle the waiting without getting too impatient. 

Hanbin’s focus was on the movie, though his fingers were playing with Bobby’s hand. It was comfortable, being this close, it was nice to do it without wondering if someone was going to walk in on them. But then he shifted just slightly and the effect was automatic. Bobby’s was totally hard and totally pressed against his and it brought Hanbin’s nerves rearing back out. 

Calm down, stupid, this is entirely what you invited him over here for, quit freaking out about it! But the longer they laid together like that the more it got to Hanbin, the more wound up he felt, like he needed to move, like he was caged in. He turned over suddenly, unaware of the panicky look on his face. 

“Do you still wanna watch this?” 

Bobby had been waiting for Hanbin to say the word, and his first instinct was to abandon the movie immediately. But there was a tightness in Hanbin’s posture that he recognized, and of course it was there on his face too, the nervous tension he must be feeling. Bobby was actually proud of himself for recognizing the signs instead of listening to his own needs. 

“Yeah, actually I’m really into the movie.” He even picked up the remote and paused it, grinning at Hanbin in a teasing way. If he played into Hanbin’s nerves right away he’d probably just get even more worked up. Hanbin usually relaxed with a bit of teasing, though. 

Hanbin let out an annoyed huff of breath because he couldn’t just lie there anymore, he was going to go crazy. “Well, I don’t want to watch it.” But he didn’t really want to do anything else, either. He just needed to stand up. Maybe if they swapped spots and he lied down behind Bobby he’d feel better. 

“Well there are other things you can do while I finish watching it.” Bobby teased again, just to see how Hanbin would react. 

Hanbin sat up and narrowed his eyes, glaring at Bobby. Was he really suggesting that right now? 

Bobby couldn’t help but laugh at Hanbin’s insulted expression. “Oh come on, I was teasing you, don’t get that look.” 

Hanbin shook his head and smacked him in the arm. “I can’t believe you’re that selfish.” 

“Excuse me? What did you think I was suggesting?” Bobby asked, pretending offense and grabbing Hanbin’s arm as he tried to hit him again. 

Hanbin was still glaring. “You want me to blow you again, don’t you?” 

Bobby gasped in dramatic offense. “Hanbin! Do you really think I’d suggest that?” 

Hanbin didn’t answer, just tried to wrench his arm free, but Bobby held it tightly. 

“You can’t deny it’s a good opportunity for some practice, right?” 

The nerve. “Hyung!” 

“You’re nervous, I get it—” 

“I am not!” Hanbin’s answer was super defensive, he knew it as soon as he said it. There was no helping it, though. 

Bobby’s expression softened, as did his grip on Hanbin’s arm. “Why are you lying? It’s okay, you’re allowed to be nervous.” Bobby actually thought it was cute. Hanbin was so rarely nervous, and it just made him think about Hanbin’s secrets again, and that just made him want to hug him. 

Hanbin was about to protest but suddenly he realized that maybe Bobby was right. Hanbin was nervous about the , there was no disputing that. But maybe it would help if he didn’t try hiding from it before they actually got to it. Studying things made him feel better, after all. Maybe that’s what he needed to do with Bobby. 

“I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but you’re actually right. I should practice.” 

“What?” Hanbin’s sudden turn of thought confused Bobby. 

“I am super nervous, I’m trying not to be but I am. And I have all of this nervous energy that won’t let me lie still with you right now, and I need to expend it somehow. I think it’ll help me if I get all up close and personal, you know?” 

Bobby grinned at him, because he’d only suggested it as a joke. But now it seemed like Hanbin had actually gone and found some logical reasoning for it. Bobby wasn’t about to protest, not if Hanbin was getting behind the idea. “Are you sure you want to?” 

Hanbin nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure.” He stood up and looked down at Bobby. “You finish watching the movie, and I’m going to play with your mini me.” 

Bobby laughed at the explanation, happy when he saw Hanbin laughing about it too. “Okay, if you’re sure that’ll help you. We could just go to your room, if you want?” 

Hanbin shook his head. “God, no. The more I think about it the better this is. If we tried to get started now I’d honestly probably just clam up. I think I need to ease into it a bit slower.” 

Bobby smiled at him, happy Hanbin had figured himself out. “Alright, you’re in charge. I’ll do my best not to get riled up too early.” 

“If you do I’ll just bite you,” Hanbin , reaching down for Bobby’s hands. “Pants off, come on.” 

Bobby let Hanbin pull him up, and when he was standing he pulled Hanbin in for a quick kiss. “If you change your mind, just say the word.” 

“I will, I promise.” They kissed again and Bobby grinned when Hanbin slid his hand down the back of his pants and pinched his . “Come on, quit wasting time.” 

“You’re so eager now,” Bobby replied before shoving his pants down over his hips and kicking them off his feet. “You know, I think I might be in for some trouble when I get you all experienced.” 

Hanbin grinned at the comment. “Oh yeah? What kind of trouble?” 

“You have a bit of a bossy streak,” Bobby replied teasingly. 

Hanbin actually blushed a little. “Well, you’d better be good to me, then, before I take it out on you.” 

“I will be, baby, don’t you worry.” Bobby tried to kiss him again but Hanbin pushed him back onto the couch. 

“Don’t be gross.” 

Bobby laughed and got himself situated on the couch, sitting in the corner where Hanbin had started the night, left leg drawn up and pushed into the back cushion, right leg laying flat. He watched as Hanbin laid down in between his legs, trying to keep a leash on his own excitement. 

He unpaused the movie and focused back on the TV, because he was sure that watching would only make Hanbin feel nervous again. It would probably also make it even harder on him to fight the urges. 

Hanbin was happy to have the background noise of the movie, it helped to keep his mind half distracted. He was lying down right in front of Bobby’s lap, and he could see Bobby’s straining up inside his boxers. Of course he was wearing the ugly bright purple ones that Hanbin hated (well, kind of hated, because they matched the stupid purple beanie he’d started wearing recently, and Hanbin would never admit it to his face, but they were growing on him). 

“Hyung, can I make a request?” 

Bobby looked down at him, pausing the movie. “Yeah, babe?” 

“Next time can you wear something a little more y? Boxers really don’t do anything for you.” Hanbin grinned as he . Teasing always helped. Always. 

Bobby shook his head. It was good that Hanbin was in a teasing mood, that meant he was feeling better. “Noted. I admit I wasn’t really expecting to be wearing them for that long.” Hanbin winked at him before returning his attention to the offending piece of clothing, and Bobby took that as his cue to unpause the movie and try to pay attention to it again. Which was proving to be difficult. 

Hanbin ran his fingers over Bobby’s abs for a moment, pushing his shirt up a bit to look at them. It was calming, and after a few seconds he slipped a few fingers under the waistband of the boxers and pulled them down, his other hand wrapping itself around Bobby’s . 

He was glad he’d decided to do this, because now that he was here with it in front of his face he felt nervous again. But it wouldn’t last, he knew that. It was just like learning a new form of math, or trying some new chemistry formula in the lab. He just needed a few minutes to get familiar with it, and he’d be fine. 

Bobby bit his lip to keep from making any noise when Hanbin touched him. He was staring so hard at the TV that he was barely seeing anything, trying to keep his focus off of Hanbin. He couldn’t enjoy this too much right now, because it wasn’t , technically. This was for Hanbin, to let off all his nervous energy. 

Movie. Focus on the movie. 

Hanbin’s grip wasn’t very tight, it was more exploratory, because the first time he’d done this had been outside in the dark, and it had been more about just doing it then it had been about paying attention. But being up close with it now made it all a little less scary, took away some of the mystery. He took the tip of it into his mouth, closed his eyes while he swirled his tongue around it. He wasn’t really doing any of it with the intention of getting Bobby off. He was just getting to know it, it was like a little bizarre pre- worship, like they were communicating. 

I’m going to let you get all the way inside me very soon, so please be good to me? 

Bobby would probably laugh at him (definitely laugh at him) but the idea was kind of comforting to Hanbin. He pulled back and stared at it for a bit, ran his fingers up and down the length. 

You’re not that scary, really. You’re not even that big, plenty of guys have taken bigger than you. Not that I’m insulting you! Just saying, you know, I’m sure you’ll be fine, I’ll be fine, we’ll get along just fine. I’m sure I’ll even love having you in me, once I get used to it. 

“Bin? Stop staring, you’re making him uncomfortable.” Bobby couldn’t help it, when Hanbin had pulled it back out of his mouth and had just sat there staring Bobby had glanced quickly down at him. The look on Hanbin’s face was serious, like he was scrutinizing it. 

Hanbin blushed at Bobby’s teasing comment, because it was way too close to the mark and he’d just die if Bobby knew what he’d been thinking, knew the conversation he’d been having in his head with his . 

“Honestly if you’re worried, don’t be. It’ll fit, you’ll be fine.” Bobby couldn’t help but make the joke, hoped he wasn’t pushing it a bit too far. 

Hanbin reached back and grabbed a pillow, whipping it against Bobby’s chest. 

“Shut up, I know it’ll fit, okay. I’ve done my research, I’ve watched enough to know how it works.” 

Bobby laughed at the reply, which only made Hanbin hit him with the pillow again. “Why are you watching without me? Who are you watching it with?” Bobby had lost all interest in the movie now, his focus firmly on Hanbin. 

“I don’t have to watch with anyone, maybe I’ve been watching it by myself.” He had watched the majority of it by himself, but recently he and Donghyuk had watched one together. Mostly for some last minute studying. 

“For pleasure or research?” Bobby teased, shielding himself when Hanbin hit him again. Hanbin was trying to be annoyed, Bobby could see the look on his face. But he was also embarrassed, like he felt guilty for watching . Bobby thought it was adorable. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be watching your movie?” Hanbin whined. 

“Maybe we should watch a different kind of movie?” Bobby said, wondering if he could manage to flip their positions and pin Hanbin beneath him. Bobby had been on the receiving end of more than enough moves from Jinhwan over the years, and he was sure he could pull one off. 

“We are not watching , get that thought out of your head.” Hanbin replied, whacking him with the pillow again. 

Bobby went for it while Hanbin was distracted, grabbing his arms and pulling a struggling Hanbin down onto his back. Maybe he should have tucked himself into his boxers before, though, because the band was inching back up now, trapping his in a slightly uncomfortable position. It was worth it, though. 

“Let me up, this is bull, you’re too heavy!” Hanbin whined, annoyed that Bobby had caught him off guard. He didn’t really mind, though, in fact getting manhandled like that was kind of hot. 

“You’re fine, stop crying,” Bobby teased, grabbing Hanbin’s hand and pinning it to the couch behind his back. Hanbin looked like he was about to protest, but then their eyes met and everything died on the tip of his tongue, and Bobby knew that look, didn’t waste any time in crushing their lips together, desperate for a kiss. 

Hanbin wrapped his free arm around Bobby’s back, no complaints about the weight now. He even raised his knee, grinding his leg against Bobby’s , providing him with the friction he’d been so desperate for. He was grateful Hanbin was in jogging pants and not jeans. Bobby let go of Hanbin’s other arm and dug his arms down around him, holding Hanbin tightly while he rocked himself against Hanbin’s leg. 

Hanbin’s freed hand was in Bobby’s hair now, holding his head while they continued kissing. Bobby was certain it was going to happen now, there was a completely different energy coming from Hanbin, none of the former trepidation or nervous anxiety. Just desire. 

Bobby used one hand to shove his offending boxers off, and Hanbin didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. Instead he ran a hand over Bobby’s , pinching it again. Bobby responded by running a hand underneath Hanbin’s shirt, fingers brushing over his stomach. Hanbin gasped against him, his breath hitching just slightly in his throat. Bobby wanted to hear more of it. 

“Bin?” He asked into Hanbin’s neck, kissed him just under the jaw, and when he finally looked up to meet Hanbin’s eyes Hanbin nodded, and there it was. 

Let’s go. It’s time. 

Jinhwan had played the piece so many times that the notes came to him like breathing, his fingers moved from sheer muscle memory. He no longer needed to look at the music sheet, he knew it all off by heart. He played it from start to finish without a single error, and even though Junhoe didn’t really know anything about classical music, he was still really impressed, and it made Jinhwan feel really good about playing for him. 

“Wow, hyung, you’re so good, seriously. You’re amazing. I always forget how nice the trumpet actually sounds. It’s really pretty.” 

Jinhwan smiled and laid the instrument back in its case. “Well, if that’s my one lasting impression I leave on you, then I’ve done my work.” 

Junhoe watched him as he packed it away. Jinhwan had played a few pieces for him as a surprise, for which Junhoe was really grateful now. It was like seeing a different part of Jinhwan that he rarely got to see. It reminded him of the concert they’d gone to together, which seemed so long ago now. But that had really been a huge turning point in their relationship, now that he thought about it. Musician Jinhwan was so different from fighter Jinhwan. He had a different sort of passion, more agreeable and not so out of reach. 

But he wasn’t above teasing Jinhwan for that passion. “Well, I mean I think that now. But like I said, I keep forgetting.” 

Jinhwan rolled his eyes. “What, you expect me to stick around and give you constant reminders about the beauty of brass instruments?” 

Junhoe grinned back at him. “Yeah, pretty much.” 

Jinhwan finished with the trumpet and joined him on the couch, smacking his leg. “You’re so annoying.” 

“I know, everyone tells me that all the time.” 

“That’s not something you’re supposed to be proud of!” Jinhwan replied, and Junhoe’s arrogant little shrug was oddly endearing. “You might want to cut back on being annoying tonight, by the way.” 

“Oh? Why’s that? Is tonight special?” Tonight was special, but Junhoe was in a teasing mood. 

“Oh not at all,” Jinhwan replied, “it’s tomorrow I’m worried about.” 

Junhoe looked at him in confusion. “What’s happening tomorrow?” 

“I have my entrance exam for the music program at SNU,” Jinhwan replied, smiling to cover the conflicted feelings he had. 

“Wait, your test is tomorrow?” Junhoe hadn’t known that, and it suddenly made him feel annoyingly nervous. “Are you sure you wanna, you know, tonight?” Ugh, what was it his sister had said to him? If you can’t talk about out loud, you shouldn’t be having it. Embarrassing. 

“Oh don’t worry about me, I’ve been ready for weeks,” Jinhwan replied, “I just meant that I hope you’re not terrible tonight.” He grinned when Junhoe’s cheeks turned red. He loved the way that Junhoe blushed so easily. It made teasing him that much more fun. 

“Well, that’s kind of what I meant, hyung,” Junhoe replied through gritted teeth, “I don’t want to throw you off for tomorrow.” 

“Oh be quiet,” Jinhwan replied, moving closer to him and putting his arm around Junhoe’s shoulders, “I was just teasing you. If we don’t do this tonight then I probably will flunk my test tomorrow because the only thing I’ll be able to think about is how I could have had my in your tonight.” 

Junhoe frowned at him, embarrassed that he always seemed to let Jinhwan’s teasing get under his skin. “Who said anything about you getting in my tonight?” 

Jinhwan seemed to ponder the question. “Well, I suppose I could let you me too, it just probably won’t last very long and won’t do anything for me.” 

Junhoe knew that Jinhwan was just teasing him, and he knew that he should probably back to avoid giving himself away, but for some reason he couldn’t. It was like his brain was stuck on the idea of wanting this night to be so perfect that Jinhwan would change his mind about their dating status. It was stupid. He was only digging his own grave by letting those thoughts control him. 

Jinhwan waited for the retort he’d been expecting Junhoe to make, but he was surprised to see him clamming up and looking nervous instead. “Hey, I’m sorry if I’m not helping. I guess you’re more nervous than I thought you were. Sorry.” He squeezed Junhoe’s knee. “I do really want to you, and I think this is the perfect opportunity for your first time. But if you’re really not ready for that then we don’t have to. I’ll just let you me, okay? And don’t think about my test tomorrow, honestly nothing will make me flunk it.” 

Junhoe fixed his eyes on the wall, embarrassed that Jinhwan had so accurately called him out on his nerves. “It’s okay hyung, I want both.” 

“Are you sure?” Jinhwan wasn’t sure that he believed him, but Junhoe probably just needed to be talked up for it. 

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Junhoe wasn’t entirely sure, but Jinhwan was right that this was the perfect opportunity, and he’d be stupid to pass it up. 

Jinhwan squeezed his leg again. If Junhoe was going to push ahead, the least Jinhwan could do is make it as easy as possible for him. “Okay, well, I think that I should probably let you me first, then. You’ll be more relaxed.” 

Junhoe nodded, and suddenly the whole reality of the situation reached out and slapped him across the face. He was going to Jinhwan. He was actually going to  Jinhwan. 

Jinhwan stood up and tugged on Junhoe’s hand. “You wanna just go do it now? I know it’s still kinda early, and we have a ton of time tonight, but you wanna go now?” 

Junhoe nodded and let Jinhwan pull him up. There was no sense in delaying anything, he’d probably just get in his own way if they did. He led the way to his bedroom, all the while his brain was only semi-functioning, still hung up on the whole holy we’re about to have !! while also freaking out about it oh we’re actually doing this oh god oh no are we ready we’re not ready we’re so not ready what are we doing?? 

Junhoe moved liked he was in a daze, just going through the motions without understanding them. He moved to his bedside table where he’d stashed condoms. He needed one, didn’t he? He turned around to see Jinhwan, who was just standing there, watching him with an amused smirk. 

“You don’t need that just yet,” Jinhwan replied, reaching out for Junhoe’s hand and tossing the back on the table. “Come here.” Jinhwan pulled him in closer, his hands settling around the back of Junhoe’s neck to pull his head down. He kissed him, soft and deep, and it had the desired effect of calming Junhoe down a little. 

“Lie down,” Jinhwan instructed, and Junhoe did as suggested, lying back on his bed, breath nearly catching in his throat as he watched Jinhwan pull his hoodie off, tossing it on the floor. Junhoe wondered if he should take his own off. But Jinhwan hadn’t told him to. 

Jinhwan slipped out of his jeans next, letting them pool on the floor near his hoodie, before quickly taking his socks off too. He had a slight trauma regarding socks. He’d left them on one time with Eric, and it had been so distracting to him that he’d had to stop half way through to take them off. Eric had laughed at him for weeks afterwards, always making an ordeal out of taking his socks off. 

In only his underwear and t-shirt he straddled Junhoe on the bed, looking down at him with expert eyes. He really didn’t know how this was going to go. Junhoe might surprise him, or he might way premature, before he even got it inside Jinhwan. He’d been nervous about s, but the nerves in Junhoe now seemed amplified about tenfold. 

Jinhwan leaned down, settling across Junhoe’s body, and kissed him again. After lying stock still for a moment Junhoe moved his hands, settling them over Jinhwan’s back. Jinhwan pulled up and looked at him. 

“You’re not going to be ing my back, are you?” 

Junhoe’s expression back at him was confused. “What?” 

Jinhwan just grinned and winked at him. “Grab my , Junhoe.” Junhoe blushed but did as told, and Jinhwan rewarded him with another kiss, grinding down against him while Junhoe d him. At least he was taking direction as well as ever. 

Junhoe wasn’t sure why he felt so weird about this all of a sudden. Jinhwan was laughing at him already, but there wasn’t anything new about that. Was he just making everything into a bigger deal than it was? All he had to do was relax and let Jinhwan tell him what to do. It had worked wonderfully for him so far. 

He thought back to the blindfolded sparring session, the moment that had been the true catalyst for everything. Jinhwan had been the one making the moves, from that day onward. Jinhwan hadn’t steered him wrong yet, had he? He wouldn’t do it tonight either. Junhoe just had to let go of his worries and listen to him. 

Jinhwan could feel Junhoe settle beneath him, all of a sudden it felt like half the tension was gone from his body. It was like Junhoe had finally managed to wrestle the worst of his nerves down to a manageable level. That was good. 

Jinhwan sat up and pulled his shirt off, tossing it behind him while Junhoe stared at him. “Do you have lube?” 

Junhoe nodded. “Yeah, in the drawer.” He watched as Jinhwan stood up and went to retrieve it, his eyes roaming over Jinhwan’s mostly body in appreciation. He felt too warm all of a sudden, sitting up and tugging his own hoodie off and throwing it on the floor. 

Jinhwan smirked at his loss of clothing and looked pointedly at his denim-clad legs. “Might as well lose those too.” He watched as Junhoe hastily took his jeans off. “Give me your hand,” Jinhwan said, holding his own out. Junhoe offered up a palm and Jinhwan squirted some of the lube into it. “Rub it in your hands to warm it up,” Jinhwan instructed, before tossing the bottle on the bed and pulling his underwear off. Junhoe stared, mouth gaping, as Jinhwan laid face down on the bed, a pillow under his hips and his legs spread. 

Oh my god it’s happening what do I do? 

“Is it warmed up?” Jinhwan asked, looking back over his shoulder at Junhoe. He grinned when he saw the stupefied look on Junhoe’s face. “Like the visual?” 

Junhoe snapped out of it with the teasing question, shaking his head. “Yeah, it’s warm.” 

“You know what that’s for, right?” Jinhwan asked, grinning when Junhoe blushed. “You need to work a few fingers in first, okay? Just start with one.” 

“Yeah I got that figured out.” Junhoe replied defensively, before glaring at Jinhwan’s teasing grin. Okay, he could handle this. No big deal. Dudes each other all the time, right? 

He listened to Jinhwan’s instructions, did what he was told to do, and even though it was really weird and a little uncomfortable at first, when he saw the way it made Jinhwan react, he started to feel better about the whole thing. He’d found the little walnut as Jinhwan had described it, and it was wild, honestly, the way Jinhwan reacted every time he brushed it with his fingers. He moaned and hissed and clenched around Junhoe’s fingers, like a scene straight out of a . Junhoe was doing it all. 

Jinhwan wasn’t faking it for him—Junhoe’s fingers felt fantastic. But he was ready for more. “Okay, I’m ready, so let’s do this.” He pulled forward and turned over, smirking at Junhoe’s surprised expression. 

“Junhoe-ya? Now’s the time for the .” Jinhwan winked at him, and Junhoe nodded before getting to his feet and reaching for the little packet. His fingers fumbled with it, he couldn’t seem to get it to tear open. 

But Jinhwan was there, taking it from his fingers. “Everything off, hurry up.” Junhoe pulled his shirt off and dropped it on the floor, his underwear following suit. “Socks too, it’s just weird if you keep them on.” 

Jinhwan sat down on the edge of the bed, right in front of him, and Junhoe looked down at him expectantly, pulse racing. He felt like his heart might explode in his chest at any second. Before putting the on, Jinhwan took Junhoe in his mouth for a moment, cheeks hollowed in suction against him. Junhoe grabbed Jinhwan’s head, his fingers running through Jinhwan’s hair. 

After a minute Jinhwan pulled off, grinning up at Junhoe while he slid the over him. “You ready?” 

Junhoe nodded, and he actually did feel ready. He waited for Jinhwan to get himself situated, and the visual itself was almost enough for him, Jinhwan splayed out wide open in front of him. What was Junhoe supposed to do with him? (He knew what he was supposed to do, but it still felt completely surreal to him.) 

“Just push it in, but stay still for a minute, okay?” Jinhwan told him, biting back a joke about not wanting Junhoe to as soon as he got in. 

Junhoe didn’t answer in words, he just did as he was told. It felt weird right now. Like he felt ready, but he also felt like he wasn’t even present, like someone else had taken over his body and he was just there, watching. He watched as hands that didn’t even feel like they belonged to him gripped Jinhwan’s hips, as they lined his up with Jinhwan’s hole. He pushed forward, burying himself in, and he couldn’t even breathe at first, too shocked with the fact that he was here right now, his inside Jinhwan. 

He suddenly thought back to the very first time they’d met. Jinhwan, looking at him with that smug expression, and Junhoe, an immature and overconfident punk, who thought he’d kick Jinhwan’s just because he was bigger. It had taken them months to get to this point, months for Junhoe to feel like somewhat of an equal. 

Jinhwan felt giddy in the moment in a way he hadn’t felt in a while. He was Junhoe’s first, and he felt weirdly proud about that. He’d never been anyone’s first before. He’d never been the one teaching someone else everything he knew. He clenched around Junhoe, revelled in the feeling of having him in all the way. He missed this, missed having someone inside him. 

It was a far cry from what he was used to, though. Junhoe was being obedient to a fault, following Jinhwan’s exact instructions. He was in, but he wasn’t moving, because Jinhwan hadn’t told him to move yet. It was cute. 

Jinhwan didn’t want it to be cute, though. He wanted it to be hot and wild and passionate, because it was easy to get lost in that. But cute made things dangerous. Cute made feelings surface that weren’t supposed to be surfacing. 

“Junhoe-ya, you can move now,” Jinhwan teased, looked back at him over his shoulder again, and now Junhoe’s face gave Jinhwan what he was looking for. Now he looked hot, he looked exactly the way Jinhwan wanted him to look. 

Junhoe was on autopilot, like he was letting someone else control him. He knew, essentially, what he was supposed to do. He just wasn’t entirely surehow to do it. Thankfully Jinhwan was able to work around him, his own movements helping Junhoe to figure out what he was supposed to be doing. After a slow start he picked the pace up, his fingers digging deep into Jinhwan’s hips, clamped tightly into his skin. 

He’d probably forget everything about this later on, but right now in the middle of it he felt everything so acutely, even though there was so much going on. There was too much, though, eventually everything caught up to him and before he knew it Junhoe was crashing. He came hard, his muscles seizing up on him, he had this weird sensation of feeling almost strangled, but in a good way. 

Then he just felt like he was floating, collapsed over Jinhwan’s back, arms around him, panting heavy against his skin. If you’d asked him his name, he’d have probably forgotten it for a moment. 

Jinhwan had far better control over himself, thought it had been surprisingly good for him too. Junhoe had lasted longer than he’d expected, and his s had been full of power when he’d finally gotten himself into the proper role. It gave Jinhwan a lot of hope for future sessions. 

But right now he felt like he was being crushed under the dead weight of a nearly comatose Junhoe, and he did his best to squirm out from under him without disturbing him too much. Jinhwan’s breathing was hard too, his own limbs felt shaky and even as he sat up his knees trembled, and he didn’t know if they’d support his weight right away. 

So he sat and watched him, the way his body rose with every breath. Despite Junhoe’s dramatics, despite his over the top behaviour, despite how loud he could be and how annoying he could get, despite it all Jinhwan liked him, a lot,   and he knew that if it weren’t for the fact that he was planning to leave, he’d possibly even fall even harder for him. The bottom line was that Junhoe wasgood for him. He listened, he followed, and Jinhwan liked it. Being with Junhoe made him feel responsible and mature, like he had someone who looked up to him and relied on him for things. 

He waited it out, there on the edge of the bed, waited for Junhoe to finally have the presence of mind to roll over and look up at him, blinking open one bleary eye, and Jinhwan smiled back at him. 

“Hyung,” Junhoe grunted out, his voice hoarse despite his barely making any noise. 

“Was it good?” Jinhwan asked, and Junhoe responded with an affirmative kind of grunt. Jinhwan leaned down to brush a kiss over his forehead. “You ready for me?” 

Junhoe hummed in agreement, because he couldn’t form words. 

Jinhwan didn’t need words, though. Didn’t need them at all.