„Why does it have to be like this?“ he asks the boy in front of him, his voice laced with sadness and the shimmer in the other's eyes makes Jungkook believe, he hadn't even seen half of the other's self yet.

A silence rears up between them and Jungkook feels his heart being squeezed by an invisible force, feels as if the pressure of the universe engulfs him in a trance that he can't escape.

His mouth is dry and Taehyungs hand comes up, only to linger in the air in front of his face for a second, before falling back down, taking the shining in his eyes with it.

Blankness washes over Taehyung's face and his mouth closes, his lips lying neatly on top of each other.

Jungkook feels his heart shatter, the glass that is supposed to protect his heart from moments like these breaking into a thousand little pieces right before his eyes before the muscle in his clenches painfully again.

They look into each other's eyes and he can see the shadow overtaking the brown of Taehyung's eyes, whisking away the last remains of a certain shimmer in these depths that had been Jungkook's universe. Or so he had thought.

Taehyung doesn't say another word when he turns around, making his way out of the door slowly, movements stiff and face void of any emotion.

Looking after him, seeing how his outline slowly walks down the empty street, step by step into the orange-yellowish sunrise, Jungkook feels tears spilling over.

When Taehyung is almost out of sight, the sunrise emitting his outline in an unearthly beauty and gradually engulfing him in the warm light of a new day, Jungkook swallows hard and Taehyung partly turns around.

He raises his hand a little as if to say goodbye and smiles, sadness framing his features while being bathed in orange radiation.

Jungkook feels his soul reaching out to the other, tries to keep the other's retreating form for just a little bit longer when there is a sudden feeling of overpowering desperation washing him away.

Jungkook wakes up with a deep intake of breath, soaked in sweat and trembling like leaves on a tree in fall, leaves that he dares not to come off because every little movement in this reality means, that he has to acknowledge it at some point.

His breath comes out strained, eyes staring up at the ceiling and his hand moves by itself, patting the cold white sheet next to him, patting until there is only lost hope to grasp for him and his heart sinks.

The air is cold when he sits up, face void of emotion and his fingers lose the strength to even grip at the sheet beneath him.

Not bothering to look up, he keeps his empty gaze fixed on the pair of legs walking by. Hoseok's legs.

It's quiet in the room and the crispy winter air streams through the small open window at the other side of the room, the cold breeze cooling Jungkook's body down even more.

The deafening silence isn't pleasant, it's dull, hollow and lost in it's own grief.

No laughter fills the rooms, no one speaks when Jungkook stands up, tries to keep breathing although it had become so hard, so unbelievable hard.

He wants the familiar aching in his to stop but he doesn't even remember how it had been before the aching took over his body in a rush that left him unable to fight, unable to expel the numbness from his body. Namjoon sits at the windowsill, dressed in stiped pyjamas he looks out the window, not minding the way the cold wind tousles the locks of his hair.

Jungkook can see the falling and rising of his , can feel the pain emitting from the inside, rooting his numb limps to the spot.

The feeling of Taehyung's fingers between his, the faint memory of said boys breath fanning down his neck, comes to his mind and Jungkook feels the aching becoming unbearable.

He feels a dry, hoarse sob coming from his insides, making it's way out through his mouth and when he falls down onto his knees, he is choking on the sobs shaking his body, leaving him a trembling mess on the floor.

„I want him to come back,“ he croaks, agony straining his vocal cords, but looking up he sees Namjoon looking towards him, a tear slipping down his cheek before he murmurs, „I know, me too.“

The comforting hand on Jungkook's shoulder belongs to Hoseok and he wants to lean into that touch, wants to pretend that it is Taehyung's warmth spreading on his shoulder but the touch harbours just as much emptiness as Jungkook feels.

His gaze wanders up to the boy next to him, body still shaking and when they lock eyes, Hoseok breathes out heavily, his eyes red and wet from all the crying and whispers, voice broken and hoarse, „I'm Hobie, your hopie.“. He then squeezes Jungkooks shoulder in a comforting manner.

But Jungkook doesn't find the smile he has tried to keep locked away somewhere in a light corner of the darkness engulfing his inner self, just to get it out again when time is ripe and he's ready for it.

But maybe that smile is gone and so is the light, Taehyung had taken a part of Jungkook with him and it seems as if said part was his smile. It makes sense to him when perception fills his dazed mind.

„His is so much more beautiful, what does he need mine for?“ he asks Hoseok incredibly and without waiting for an answer, he gets up, looking outside where snowflakes swirl through the cold December air.

Jungkook takes long steps, almost runs to the living room, passing Yoongi's room where loud music radiates from on full blast, the room's resident refusing to leave his room since the ...incident.

Grasping the group photo of all of them from the small table in the corner, Jungkook sits down on the floor, his finger about all their faces, halting at Taehyung's rectangular smile.

„You will not come back, right,“ he whispers, before letting the tears fall again and looking at the picture through his now blurry vision.

„The world will miss your smile, Tae. But Namjoon said we have to keep going and you already took a part of me with you, you can't have my smile as well.“

He looks to the side, where Taehyung stands next to him, that beautiful smile of his not leaving his lips when he chuckles and winks at Jungkook.

„That's alright, Jungkookie. The world misses your smile as well!“

the picture one last time, Jungkook gets up, thinking about the cold stiff body lying in a deep hole on a cemetary in Daegu before looking up at the sky through the window.

The feeling of Taehyung's fingers being laced with his own makes him cling to that warmth he has missed so much and in his head he can hear Taehyung's soft, deep voice, „I gave it back to you, make good use of it, Kookie.“

Jungkook is blinded by the rising sun, when his hands fold around thin air, entwining their fingers and he welcomes the new day with a small smile towards the sky.