Yeah, I remember you. 

You're the man who stole my heart, even though I'm sure you didn't mean to.

110%, I know that you didn't mean to. How though? How am I so sure that the feelings that I feel for you will never be returned to me in the same way that I feel for you? 

Because you're hidiously in love with her.

I can't blame you though, I wasn't in very good terms with you, actually at some point in time I hated your guts. It scarred me, the way you played me, it was as if I was as worthless as the ground you stepped on, as weak as the wick of a candle, constantly being burnt down over and over again, until the candle can't be lit anymore. 

Who am I kidding though? You probably don't even have the slightest thought about how I feel. No one would ever guess that how I feel about you, is full of love, and resentment, and a burning passion that bursts through my soul in ways I could only hope it didn't. 

It ing hurt.

There's nothing I can do about it though. Who am I to blame for how I feel? Could I blame you? The man who used his charming mannerisms that made my heart fall so deeply into your nonexistant embrace? The man who made me feel as if I was the one who made you open up to the world in a way I never thought you would. I thought I actually meant something, I thought maybe I broke down your walls to the point where you could actually be a decent human being.

But, I was wrong.

In the end, you chose her. I'm just a ing idiot for thinking it would have ever been me. You did meet her first, I do give you that point. When I first met you, I didn't really notice your existance because we didn't have the same interests at the time. We didn't talk, we were strangers connected by the single strand of fate. Actually, you were a complete , I could not stand a personality as ferocious as yours. At the time, it was almost distasteful, but now I see that it's only one of the greatest qualities that make you unique from everyone else in the world.

If only I could be the person who had your heart.

Why am I even writing this? Is it for the sole purpose of ever healing from the hurt that has been bestowed upon me? I feel like , I feel as if this is the punishment I get for letting you go after you opened up to me, but you played me, what else could I have done? If I stayed, maybe, just maybe, I would have been the one you fell in love with. It's too late for regrets now because no matter what I do now, I'll never have your love the way she does. But it doesn't change the fact that my heart physically aches knowing that we'll never have the same connection we had back then. I can't rebuild what I once broke down, and it's all my fault. 

Why did I ever let you go?

At least I can talk to you now, at least I can still hear your soft heartfelt voice, that serenades me in a way that feels as though we are the only two people on earth. As if we were embracing tenderlessly, while elegently swaying in the giant paned ballroom. But in reality, I am not your cinderella, and you are not my prince in shining armor. You can't save me from the nonexistant chains that have befallen me throughout the years that I have gotten to know you.

You can't save me from you. 

I tried to fill the void inside my soul, inside my heart. Yet, nothing else in this world could seem to mask the agony of your absence, you just can't be replaced. 

No matter how hard I try, I can't make these feelings go away. When I think about you being with her, my heart just hurts, yet I can still struggle in a laugh or a smile to make it seem like I can make it through. I will forever hold the numbing feeling of the cries stuck in the middle of my throat that try to pry out. I'm pathetic.

But WHY?!? WHY CAN'T YOU LOVE ME? WHY DIDN'T I STAY? I COULD DO A BETTER JOB, I CAN MAKE YOU FEEL LOVED AND WANTED IN WAYS THAT SHE COULD NEVER EVEN TRY TO. I WOULDN'T HURT YOU LIKE SHE HAS. I WOULDN'T CHEAT ON YOU LIKE SHE HAS. WHY CAN'T YOU LOVE ME?

WHY?!?WHy...why does your heart say in the open cage that is her hands? Just why...?

When you're with me, you laugh and I can just feel the sparkles that show how you truly are in the inside. Yet, when you're with her, you barely even let out a chuckle. You cry our all your worries into my ears, whether or not she is being faithful, whether or not you are being returned the love that you have given, whether it really is worth living a dreadful lie, but she gets something that I could only pray for, She gets your love, your passion, and your dedication. She gets to see how adorable you are when it comes to the person you love. She gets to hear all the sweet nothings that you whisper in her ear, and your fantasies of dancing in the rain together with each other.

It brings me to tears, they've never been so plentiful before.

I want to be the one who is with you when you're at your highest. When you feel like you own the world, when you feel as if everything is going your way. And I want to be there when you feel like nothing could make your day any worse than it already is. I want to be the one you go to when you cry, or when you feel exhausted from the world's expectations of you. Because I know that I will hold you dear to me, because I know that my expectations of you is that no matter what you do, you're imperfectly perfect in my eyes. Never change yourself my almost love, because the best you is the only you I know. You just can't be replaced, even though I know I was.

But now is the time to live and let go.

Don't worry my almost lover, I'll let it go. I want to make this easy for you, to live not knowing how I've felt. To live not knowing that my heart has ached in pain because of you. To live not knowing that I loved you with every bruised bone, with every inch of sanity I have left in my broken down body. Afterall, If she makes you happy, what else can I do? I can't take that away from you, even if it isn't me.

So goodbye my one sided love, a toast to your new life. Since you can not save me from the tragedy that is my heart, I shall save myself from everlasting heartbreak. But, just remember, whenever you see something that reminds you of me, or if I were important enough for you to give a single second in your day to possess a thought related to me, just know that even after all those harsh times, even after leaving  you alone for so long my darling I'm sorry, 

I loved you.