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“Thanks for your hard work. Have a good night!” I said to my employees as I closed up shop. Once everyone was gone, I my heels and marched towards Selia, who was eating some leftovers from today’s special at one of the tables for dinner.

“Why didn’t you tell me that Gabriel was coming back today?!”

Selia looked up at me with wide, innocent eyes, “I thought you knew.” Her answer surprised me, and I sank on the chair beside her like a deflated balloon. Didn’t she know that Gabriel and I weren’t really on talking terms anymore? Of course she didn’t. I never told anyone, and it’s not like Gabriel to complain about other people to… Well… Other people. This was Selia, though. She was the closest person to Gabriel, even when he and I were close. They were childhood friends, after all. I thought that he’d have told her that he and I haven’t talked in ages, considering that Selia and I were also close.

“Well, I didn’t. I was so surprised, I thought I was hallucinating.”

Selia’s doe-eyed face broke into a mischievous grin. “Oh yeah, the look on your face was hilarious! Keeping his return a secret was definitely worth it.” She doubled up with laughter.

“What, you knew that I didn’t know?! Why didn’t you tell me!”

“Ga… Gabriel… A… Asked me to.” She gasped the sentence out, clutching her stomach from laughing so hard. “He wanted it to be a surprise.”

I waited until she was done laughing, fuming.

“I didn’t think it was such a bad idea. You were so surprised though. Your voice got so shrill, I thought the glasses were going to shatter!” With that imagery, Selia launched into peals of fresh laughter. I pinched her arm hard.

“Ow, ow! OW! Okay, okay, I’m sorry!” She stopped laughing and tugged her arm away. “You would have known if you’d bothered to talk to him yourself. Don’t blame me for your ignorance.”

Seeing my face, she paused. If Gabriel had told her to keep me in the dark, she probably knew that she had touched a sore spot for me. She shot me an apologetic look and picked up her fork to finish her pasta.

We sat in silence for a while, Selia slowly munching on her pasta and me cooling down. I could tell Selia was debating whether to ask or not, but I didn’t give her any encouragement, because I dreaded the inevitable question.

Selia twirled her pasta around and looked at me. “So… How long has it been since you talked to Gabriel? Before this morning, I mean.”

“I don’t know,” I said, unable to meet her eyes. “A little over a year, maybe?”

“Why, though? I thought you two were really close!”

“I can’t remember why, exactly.” I answered honestly. “He just stopped sending me messages, and replied to my messages less and less and until at a point I just stopped messaging him.”

“It’s not like Gabriel to ignore messages,” Selia said thoughtfully. “He may send less because of his hectic schedule but he always gets back to my messages. Something must have happened.”

I shrugged, feeling glum. Why couldn’t I remember what happened? Did we have a big fight? Of course we argued all the time as friends do, but I didn’t recall anything that would have caused him to be mad enough to stop talking to me. Besides, if he was mad at me, why was he all friendly this morning?

“Maybe he just forgot. As perfect and angelic his fans think he is, he’s only human, after all.” Selia joked. “Besides, it’s not like I talk to him often. The last time we talked before this was when he was in Munich. He was complaining because crazed fans were stalking them everywhere but Chris still dragged him to BMW World.”

“So was Chris there for the sports cars, or the motorcycles?” I couldn’t help but laugh. Despite his cool and moody facade, Chris can be very passionate and childish about certain things. It was a side of him that only his close friends knew about.

“Both, I guess!” Our laughter was stopped by the sound of the door chime. Charles strode towards us, giving Selia a nod before turning to me with a small smile.

“Hi ladies. How did it go today? Did the customers like the new decorations?” He touched my back softly for an instant before sitting down beside me.

“It was great. We were swamped the whole day.” I answered, smiling at him affectionately.

“Good. What was today’s special?” He asked, going into chef mode.

“Sausage pasta, to go with the new German theme.” Against my better judgement, I asked, “would you like to try some?”

He said, “Yes.” So I fetched him a plate from the kitchen. Ah, even now I get nervous watching him eat food from my kitchen, I thought as I watched him munch on the food.

He finished a mouthful and said, “It could use a little more tomato in the sauce, to make it thicker.” He put his fork down and wiped his mouth.

I schooled my features to hide my disappointment. Yes, he taught me the art of cooking pasta, and was my teacher, but now that we’re going out, couldn’t he be less harsh and more supportive of me? Can’t he even finish the food I prepared for him? He texted me that he hadn’t had dinner on his way here, so it wasn’t like he was full.

“I think it’s great the way it is. The customers seemed to think so too.” Selia said loyally. I could see Charles’ jaw working. It was obvious that he was trying to bite back a cutting remark. During the one year or so that we had been dating, arguments like this had happened a lot. I guess we have both learnt not to pursue these sort of issues, but it’s difficult to hold back when we were both hard-headed people.

Charles picked up his bag. “Are you ready to go? I’ll walk you back.”

“Ah, wait, I still need to put some things away.”

Selia waved us away with her fork. “You two go ahead. I’ll close up shop.”

Ah, thank goodness Selia has a spare key to the restaurant. “Thanks Selia, you’re an angel.” I collected my stuff and headed out with Charles.

We walked together in companionable silence. It had always been like this. On days he was not too busy, he would drop by the restaurant and walk me back to my apartment. I thought that it was very sweet of him to do so, but my friends had pointed out that we didn’t even look like a couple. I guess we wouldn’t to most people. Charles rarely held my hand, and after going out for a year, we’ve only kissed once – when I initiated it on his birthday. I suppose he was not the sort of person who readily showed affection. Towards others he seemed intimidating and fierce, I thought the same as well when I first met him, but to me now, he was usually… Just… Cold.

“How was your day?” I asked.

Charles let out a soft sigh. “The new batch of students are incompetent.” As a professional chef, he taught at a cooking school not too far from where my restaurant was. It was actually from his cooking class that I got to know him.

I smiled. “The usual, then.” Although very talented, Charles was extremely picky and particular. It was rare that anyone managed to live up to his standards. Present company included.

“One of them set his station on fire. Good thing I had the fire extinguisher ready.”

“That bad?!” I laughed.

He nodded. “So how was your day? I take it the restaurant is doing well.”

“Yeah. The customers love the new decorations.” I answered. I didn’t mention the pasta to avoid an argument. “Oh! And Gabriel is back.”

“Oh?” Charles and Gabriel knew each other, but were never friendly. My guess was that their personalities just didn’t suit each other. “What is he doing here?”

“He has some time off, so he’s spending his holiday here.” I said.

“I see.” He didn’t say anything else, and we just walked until we reached my apartment.

I looked at him and asked the question I was sure he had been expecting. “Would you like to come in for a drink?” I asked him this every time he walked me back, and every time he answered in the negative. He shook his head tonight as well.

“Okay then. Thanks for walking me back. Good night.”

“Good night.” He gave me a small smile and walked away.

My thoughts and feelings felt all confused and jumbled up as I watched him walk away, as they have constantly done these past few months. Feeling like this… Is normal, right? Things doesn’t have to be at all exciting in a relationship, right? Two people don’t have to say words of love to be in love, right?

Then, feelings of guilt started to creep up, as they always did when I started to mull over our relationship. Looking at Charles’ retreating back, I sighed softly. Did he smile at other people too, or was I the only recipient of his smiles? Everyone thought he was very cold, and I agreed. Perhaps that was just his way? Maybe I really am special to him?

I slapped the side of my head. Of course I am special to him. I am his girlfriend, for goodness’ sake.

But… Is this right?