When I was young, I seemed to lack empathy. To me, Jimin was always just the crybaby. I never thought that perhaps he had a good reason. I lost my pack before I could remember. I just lived with my grandmother and receive protection from Jimins' pack. His mom liked me so she initiated me making me an official pack member. My grandmother though was far too old to join a new pack. She was a lone wolf. His brothers were nice enough but it never felt right. Perhaps because I still lived with my grandmother I could never be one of them.

And that's why I felt nothing when his pack was massacred.

It had been a long day at school without the whining Jimin with me. Whenever he was sad, despite his mothers' disapproval he would come to my house and cry in grandmothers' lap. I always for his fragile state. Most boys weren't like that. They never cried no matter what you did to them. Especially wolf boys.

I remember how sunny that day had been. So bright and cheerful with flowers blossoming and the sweet smell of nectar swamped my senses. Not a day where one would expect something so terrible.

The moment I entered the aged house and the frayed screen door slammed behind me I heard his crying. He always ugly cried. His sobs came from his stomach and fat tears constantly rolled down his tanned face. His mouth would hang open in a grotesque fashion, his saliva and snot dripping, contrasting greatly against his beautiful features. The other elementary girls liked him. But they were human. No wolf would ever fall for something so weak.

I smelled the blood before I saw it.

He sat on grandmothers' couch, his bloody hands curled into his white and blue-striped shirt, staining the fabric red. He bawled into grandmothers side who had a shaken look on her face. That's what surprised me most. Grandmother was so strong. She never showed weakness, though on this day she did.

"What's happened?" I asked, mildly worried. If Jimin had cut himself he would heal in moments. Grandmother wouldn't be upset over something so trivial. This was serious.

"Go to your room Lillen." Grandmother demanded. Her voice held a harsh tone that I couldn't argue with. My curiosity would have to wait.

It was hours later when my hunger for answers became unbearable. It was odd for even Jimin to cry this much and he had been here long enough to worry the Alpha female. Yet, she hadn't come for him. Something was very wrong. My young brain struggled to figure out this strange riddle until I left my bedroom and marched to the kitchen where grandmother sat, her head in her hands.

I'd never seen her weaker. Her head lowered, neck exposed. Her long, greying hair twisted in a braid fell over her shoulder that would occasionally tremble.

"Grandmother...?" The tone in my voice said all that I wished to. What is going on?

"Lillen..." grandmother began as she lifted her head to look at me. She aged gracefully but as the tears streamed down her face she'd never looked older. "The pack is gone."

"Gone..." I repeated, the word echoed in my head, empty. I knew what she meant. They were dead but my brain was unable to process it. It was rare for an entire pack to disappear out of the blue.

"But... the blood grandmother..." They hadn't just disappeared. Something terrible happened. Images of Jimins' blood soaked hands haunted my mind as my worst thoughts were confirmed.

"You're always so clever Lillen." Grandmother sent me a small smile, but it never reached her eyes. "They were killed. Jimin is the only survivor."

Jimin? I questioned myself. He's far too weak to have survived an attack like that. Especially if the strong Alphas were brought down. I knew this.

"Why didn't he fight? He's such a weakling!"

"Lillen, he's only a pup! As are you!" Grandmother scolded me.

A loud whimper interrupted us. A tired Jimin stood before us dressed in dark blue car-printed pajamas and his well loved stuffed bunny in hand. "I am weak." Jimin said quietly, his eyes still filled with unshed tears. "I couldn't help them. But I'm going to become strong. So that I can protect Lillen." He looked determined as tears finally began to roll down his face again. But for the first time ever he didn't sob or ugly cry. He struggled to hold a straight face despite the wetness on his cheeks.

I'd forgotten that I was a member of his pack. He reminded me as I began to feel guilty. Guilty for not sensing the trouble and rushing to help them. Because of that both Jimin and I were packless. But, I reminded myself, at least we have grandmother.

---

A few days later...

To my surprise, Jimin decided to return to school right after the incident. Grandmother was having none of it though so they settled for two days. When he returned, everyone was shocked. The news had spread of the massacre and everyone expected him to be a mess. Instead, he seemed to deal well. But people are monsters. Rumors spread that he had murdered his family. It was insane though. He was a simple pup, in fact he was below average in strength. He couldn't have done that but the nasty kids didn't care. And although I could physically protect Jimin, there was no way to protect him from vicious rumours. Unlike before though, he would only stiffen his shoulders at harsh words and glare at the ground. It was as though he believed their words.

Away from school, he was normal enough. He liked to play fight. Perhaps more than before, but I didn't mind. He played rougher than before as well. It made me forget sometimes that he was only nine years old, just like me. I watched in surprise as he grew stronger through the years, always determined to protect me. I should have been flattered but instead I felt angry. I wasn't weak. So, I made sure to keep one step ahead of him. It was easy since I'd always been strong, perhaps above average. I knew it bothered Jimin when I showed superior strength so I made sure to show off a lot. Over time, his personality brightened again. The massacre behind us, good days were ahead.

But there was always one thing that made me anxious.

Ever since the packs death, men in black suits would always be waiting at school. Just far enough to be off the school grounds but close enough to make me uncomfortable. They seemed to be interested in Jimin and I. Even as years passed they would still appear. Silently watching us. Perhaps they were the culprits. Grandmother seemed to think so too as she watched us more closely and made sure we never went too far from the house. If they put grandmother on edge then they were a real threat. And they may be after Jimin.

I shifted into an adolescent wolf for the first time when I had just turned eleven, June, 21st. It was a year early for most female wolves and Jimin seemed incredibly jealous when it happened. He crossed his arms and pouted like the old Jimin and grudgingly admitted that my wolf form was cool. I was a regular grey wolf. Larger than the average female of my age, just like my human appearance. I stood at 5"5' and hadn't even finished growing taller. Jimin, to his own utter disappointment remained small for another year.

After he shifted I'd noticed some changes. Like all adolescent wolves he became more territorial. What was odd was that he was territorial with me despite the fact that I was stronger than him and could fend for myself. Having dealt with the new rush for a year already, I coped better than him.

Back at school, now that I had begun to mature I got more attention from the boys in school. I didn't like any of them and they certainly didn't pick up on that. At least they'd ceased picking on Jimin for the most part, the massacre long forgotten. That of course doesn't mean that they didn't get on his nerves.

"Hey, Lillen!" A boy from my school, Nathan called to me. He had been the most cruel of the bullies to Jimin, so as per usual I ignored him.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!" He roughly grabbed my shoulder to spin me around. I complied to keep my own strength hidden and tried not to focus on the irony of his choice in words.

Beside me Jimin had become furious. His facial expression darkened as he turned around to meet Nathan eye to eye.

"Let go of Lillen." He growled dangerously. I knew the signs. He constantly clenched and unclenched his fists and his eyes were locked on their target. Even if Jimin hit him with half of his strength this human could be severely injured.

"What, is she your ?" Nathan sneered.

Just as Jimin moved forward I blocked his path and pushed Nathan just hard enough to knock him down as his body hit the lockers opposite of us. He appeared dazed from hitting his head and I knew that I'd gotten my message across.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll leave us alone." I warned. He scrambled up from the floor, still holding his head as he rushed past us. His friends followed after staring in shock at the place Nathan had previously sat.

That is how we became 'freaks'. I didn't care though and neither did he. We had each other, that's all that mattered.

The men in black had increased in number. We no longer just saw them at school, but they even lurked around our home and in the forest. They wore thick black sunglasses that covered their eyes but there was no doubt now that they were watching us. We had no choice but to restrict our shifting to the darkness of our basement. Although it was stuffy, it was safe from peeping eyes. Grandmother was more on edge then ever. I'd overheard her mutter something about the men in black using the 'devils flames'. She had been having vivid nightmares. I could hear her in the middle of the night, huffing and frantically thrashing. She tried to hide it from us but we knew that something was going to happen. And it wouldn't be good.

Another year passed. Our classmates were still wary of us, me especially and grandmothers nightmares had only worsened. Before she could refrain from making noise but now she would scream. The blood curdling kind that sent shivers down my spine. It sounded like she was being burned alive. Jimin thought that she was losing her mind but I knew she wasn't. She kept her mind. She remembered everything. This was something else.

She had become more quiet than she'd ever been. Meals were awkwardly silent and Jimin and I would send grandmother worried looks. Her face, which had once appeared to have aged gracefully acquired deep wrinkles and darkened bags. She was exhausted.

One evening, on a school night she sat us both down on the living room couch. The last time I had felt such a heavy emotional weight was when Jimins' pack had been taken out.

"Jimin, Lillen, I love you so much." She said, teary eyed. "I wouldn't wish for any other grandchildren." She lovingly patted us both on the head and we sent watery smiles back. It felt as though she were saying goodbye.

"We love you too, grandmother." Jimin and I said in unison. We both stepped over to where she sat on the well-loved couch and hugged her tight.

"I'm happy just being a part of your lives." She whispered softly.

"I'm happy too." I whispered back.

"You're the best grandmother ever." He replied, his voice thick with tears.

That night, for the first time in a while grandmother didn't have a nightmare.

The next day, Jimin and I left for school after sending our well wishes to grandmother. She saw us off with a bright smile on her face and sadness in her eyes.

After school had ended we rushed back home. I had a bad feeling. The smell of smoke burned my nose and the scent came from our homes' direction. When we reached our house, we froze.

I didn't know what to do. There stood my grandmothers house, engulfed in flames. The windows had burst from the heat of the flames, the ceiling collapsed and the fire was quickly spreading to the surrounding forest. I fell to my knees, the rocky ground pricked my skin but it didn't matter.

Grandmother was still in there.

"No..." I was in shock, struggling to find some way that she could have survived but coming up blank. She knew this was going to happen.

I registered my hands falling to the ground and the scream that tore from my throat but I felt as though I were disconnected from my body. This is a dream, no, a nightmare. It must be. 

"Grandmother!" I wailed.

"Lillen!" Jimin called. He'd wrapped his arms around my midsection, attempting to lift me. "We have to go!" Behind us, the men in black were approaching. I knew for a fact that they were responsible for this. Jimin was right though. We couldn't stay and fight. I heard a "zzing" followed by a sting in my ear. A distance from me, in the ground was a tranquillizer. They were shooting at us. 

I stood up on my trembling legs then took off with Jimin holding tightly to my arm. The men in black shouted behind us. More tranqs were shot. Luckily they weren't talented marksmen and we escaped into the burning forest. We ran until we could no longer hear them before we shifted into our wolf forms. The adrenaline and shock kept us from dwelling on what had just happened.

Grandmother was gone.

And the men in black were after us.

---

And Done! So yeah, a long long time ago (when I was in my first year of middle school) I had this dream. It was incredibly detailed like a movie and I wish I could do it justice by writing it down but I don't think I ever will. And the character Lillen was originally a nameless character with fiery red hair (she still has red hair by the way) in my dream. I can't remember what her face looked like so I'm going to improvise (just like with her name). I actually have vivid dreams like this very often. I'm never a character in them though. It feels like I'm watching a movie except I can personally feel what the main character is feeling. Sadly, I never finish these dreams so when I get towards ending it I'll have to improvise it as well but I kind of look forward to that.

People say dreams hold meanings meant for ourselves but I honestly have no idea what my brain may be telling me with this dream. It was really beautiful and touching though, just like almost all of my vivid dreams (even my vivid nightmares (which are very similar to dreams like this) are beautiful in a way. Once you get past the horror you notice the small details that are just so impressive). Anyway, yeah. I hope you liked it! I feel like I'm letting everyone who reads this into my brain. XD