The night was beautiful, stars and lights twinkling brightly against the dark sky. Seunghyun always thought that the city lights took away from the glory of the stars, but tonight, he thought they actually added to it.

Seunghyun took a drag from his cigarette, the smoke he exhaled swirled around him.

It would have made a great picture.

He wished he had brought his phone to the balcony with him. He thought about going back inside to get it, but he didn’t want to disturb Jiyong who was sleeping.

It was cold outside, but he barely felt it. He was preoccupied, a million thoughts crossing his mind per second. He thought the cold winds would help clear his mind but apparently it didn’t help.

He took another drag from the cigarette in his hand, trying to focus on anything other than where he was going a few hours from now.

“Hyung?”

Seunghyun turned around at the sound of the sleepy voice calling out to him. Jiyong stood at the door, shivering like a leaf from the cold air hitting his skin. He was still in his boxers. He awoke to an empty bed, and without thinking too much, he got up to search for Seunghyun.

The man in question quickly put out what remained of his cigarette and went inside, pulling Jiyong to his side and heading towards the bedroom. Once there, they got in bed, Seunghyun leaning against the headboard and Jiyong leaning against him.

“Why were you standing outside in the cold in only your pajamas?” Jiyong asked, burrowing himself deeper under the blanket to get warm. “You’re going to get sick!”

Seunghyun looked down at the mop of black hair resting against his chest and the thin arms wrapped around his waist. Jiyong looked up and the second their eyes met, Seunghyun felt his heart ache.

He broke eye contact, only for his eyes to roam Jiyong’s face, finally coming to a stop on his nose. His cute little button nose that would scrunch up any time Jiyong was confused. Then his eyes landed on his lips. Those beautiful, plump, pink lips that were moving right now but Seunghyun couldn’t hear the words that were coming out because his mind was busy repeating one thing:

He is so beautiful.

Jiyong's brows furrowed in concern and his hand came up to cup Seunghyun's cheek. "Hyung? Are you okay?"

"Hmm?" Seunghyun's voice came out hoarse and cracked. His throat felt tight all of a sudden. "Yeah...Yes, I'm fine."

"Then why are you crying?" Jiyong asked as his thumb caressed Seunghyun's cheek, wiping away a tear.

Seunghyun turned his head and raised his hand to his face, wiping at the tears. "It's just...you know...,"

Jiyong sat up and straddled Seunghyun, making sure to keep the blanket wrapped around his shoulders. His hand moved up and landed on Seunghyun’s freshly cut hair, his fingers threading the short strands. He pulled Seunghyun’s face closer to him, and rested his forehead against his hyung’s.

“It’s going to be okay, Seunghyun,” Jiyong whispered against Seunghyun’s lips. “You’re going to be okay,” he reassured him before pressing their lips together. They shared a deep kiss, filled with everything they felt that couldn’t be put into words.

They came up for breath shortly after and just held each other. This moment felt precious.

“When will you be back in Seoul?” Jiyong asked quietly.

“After six weeks,” Seunghyun’s reply was short. He didn’t really want to talk about it.

“Maybe I'll bump into you in the street one day," Jiyong teased, raising his hand to his forehead in a salute, "Officer."

Seunghyun smiled at Jiyong and placed his hands on his shoulders. Slowly, he moved his hands down Jiyong’s arms until he reached his wrists. Then, without warning, he pulled Jiyong’s hands behind his back. “I’ll have to arrest you,” he whispered in Jiyong’s ear.

“What are you going to arrest me for?” Jiyong arched slightly against him.

“Seducing a police officer,” Seunghyun replied, pulling Jiyong’s arms even tighter.

Jiyong laughed. “You’re making that up,”

Seunghyun chuckled, finally releasing Jiyong’s arms and wrapping his own arms around Jiyong. “Maybe.”

With all the banter, Seunghyun managed to forget, but one look at the digital clock was enough to remind him that he was leaving Seoul in a few hours.

His grip around Jiyong tightened.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” Seunghyun said, his voice tight.

“Hyung…,” Jiyong sighed.

“I knew this day was coming, but…why did it come so fast?” Seunghyun continued as if he hadn’t heard him.

Jiyong felt something wet on his shoulder where Seunghyun had buried his face. He was crying.

Jiyong opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it. Instead, he held onto Seunghyun, rubbing his hands up and down his back in a soothing manner, and whispered words of comfort against his neck.

After a while Seunghyun managed to calm down a bit, the sobbing reduced to sniffling. “I didn’t think it would be this hard,” he said, his voice hoarse from crying.

Jiyong felt his heart breaking for his hyung. Up until now, he had stopped himself from crying about this by sheer will. He needed to be strong for Seunghyun.

“You need to get some rest, hyung,” Jiyong said gently.

Seunghyun shook his head. “I don’t want to go to sleep,”

“Why not?”

"Maybe if I don't sleep, tomorrow will never come."

Seunghyun leaned back, letting his arms loosely settle around Jiyong’s waist. He turned towards the window. The moon was shining brightly in the sky, but Seunghyun could still see that the sky was getting brighter. There were fewer stars now.

He could feel Jiyong looking at him, waiting for him to look back. Instead he let his eyes wander around the room, trying to burn everything into his mind. Every book, every painting, and every souvenir they had collected over the past few years.

Finally his eyes settled on Jiyong.

“These past two years,” Seunghyun started, “were the happiest years of my life. I just want you to know that. It’s true that we were always working, always travelling, but because we were always together, I was happy.

“In those two years, I tried to create as many happy memories with you as I could, all in the hopes that it will make this moment a little bit easier… Apparently, it made it harder. Still, if I were to go back in time, I would do it all over again.”

Seunghyun stopped to wipe a tear that was rolling down Jiyong’s cheek.

“I just hope that all those happy memories will keep you company when I can’t.”

Tears were running freely down Jiyong’s face by now. He punched Seunghyun’s chest. “You’re such a jerk,” he complained, wiping the tears with the back of his hand. “I promised myself I wasn’t going to cry and look what you did. You made me cry.”

“Sorry,” Seunghyun chuckled. He leaned over and placed soft kisses on each of Jiyong’s eyes, his nose, and finally his lips. “I never intended to make you cry. I love you.”

Jiyong pouted for a good long second before giving in. “I love you, too.”

***

They managed to get a couple of hours of sleep after that, cuddled up against each other, trying to stay as close as possible. Seunghyun woke up first and just laid there, looking at the personification of perfection in his arms.

He tried to commit to memory every detail he could. This was his last chance.

After a few minutes, Jiyong woke up as well. He put on some clothes and they both made their way to the bathroom where they brushed their teeth and shaved. Then they walked towards the kitchen and made some coffee. They laughed as much as they could, trying to make one last happy memory.

Finally it was time for Seunghyun to leave. He was going to go to his house first because his mom was coming over soon and it was where his manager was going to pick him up to take him to the training camp.

As they walked towards the door, Seunghyun made Jiyong promise to not overwork himself and to remember to eat and sleep. Jiyong made Seunghyun make the same promise, complaining that Seunghyun had gotten way too thin over the past couple of months. They shared one last kiss, and after a long glance, Seunghyun was gone.

Jiyong went back to his bed, which felt cold now that Seunghyun wasn’t in it. The pillow still smelled like him though, so Jiyong hugged it against his chest and cried until he fell asleep.

By the time he woke up, Seunghyun had already been officially enlisted. He opened his phone only to find his Instagram flooded with pictures of Seunghyun. Before he could stop himself, he uploaded a picture of him and Seunghyun—one of his favorites—and tagged him. He knew that Seunghyun wouldn’t see it any time soon, but just in case.

1 day down, too many more to go.