6

D•a•y•o•u•n•g• P•a•r•a•d•o•x

(The paradox of happiness&pain)

She was the epitome of joy. She was the epitome of delight. She was my sunshine; fighting her way through the clouds and storms, shining brightly and inviting rainbows to the sky.

Yet, behind those cute little dimples and angel-like laughter, there was a broken girl, desperately trying to find her place in the world. When she no longer wanted to put on her mask, that’s when she became a living paradox.

Donghyuck was in the backstage room after Music Bank with the new NCT sub-unit members when he heard the news.

“Have you heard about that former YG trainee who collapsed on stage during their showcase?” a new girl group member asked her friend and that was what caught his attention.

“Yes, poor girl,” the other pouted sadly. He was naïve and thought that they talked only about the showcase and he almost left the room when he heard the continuation of the story. “I didn’t think that she would try to commit suicide. I guess the company hid something from us. She couldn’t have attempted to kill herself if it wasn’t for the company’s cruelty.”

“I agree. I really hope that she would survive. She deserves so much more than what she had got,” she flinched, showing sympathy towards an idol who wasn’t an idol anymore.

Donghyuck frantically rose from his seat, causing the girls to jump in surprise when he snuggled up behind them. I must have gone crazy. They can’t talk about her. It can’t be Dayoung. He wanted to reassure himself as those dreary thoughts nestled into his mind.

“Did you just say that Yu Dayoung committed suicide?” he yelped, his voice shaking from fear. A sudden spike of shiver ran down his spine as he imagined the scene. He immediately shook his head in an attempt to push the sight out of his head. No, it can’t happen. It just can’t.

“Yes, sunbaenim,” the less nervous girl answered, fervently bobbing her head. “She tried to but the ambulance arrived quickly, so she’s in hospital right now. They say that her condition is quite unstable because she hurt her spine and ankles badly while jumping off the roof but we’re waiting for further news.”

That was enough evidence for him to get to his feet and rush out of the room. His mind was full of snapshots of Dayoung’s fragile body crushing to the ground, her silhouette immediately painted with crimson-red lines. Her smile fading, her eyes slipping shut. Her lips tinted scarlet and her face being pale as death. Death. The word left a bitter aftertaste, he almost choked on his saliva. The feeling was terrifying, it scared him to death. Death. He practically tripped over himself as he was making his way out of the building.

Run, run, run! His mind demanded and his body obeyed. He couldn’t bear the thought of not having her in his life. His hands began to shake, his whole body trembled with fear. He felt like his heart was being encaged. Dread consumed his body like cancer; it slowly had an effect on him but the result was fatal.

“Where are you going?” he heard a familiar male voice and felt a strong grip on his wrist. The owner of the voice grabbed his elbow and spun him around to face him. It was Youngho, the leader of the new sub-unit. As the title suggests, he was always there for the guys when they needed a shoulder to lean on but Donghyuck didn’t feel like talking to him right now when he had better things to do.

“Dayoung’s in the hospital because she wanted to kill herself,” he tried to shrug his grip off, inwardly hurrying the older boy to let him go but he wouldn’t budge.

“How will you get there?”

“I-I don’t know,” he stumbled upon his words. He was so caught up in the sudden downpour, he didn’t see the bigger thunderstorm coming. “I will find a way,” he declared impatiently.

His heart faltered a little when he looked at Youngho who was pondering for a thought. His face was fathomless at first but his features slowly became gentle and caring